Loving Enough (The Enough Series Book 2)

by Bloom, Nikole

  By the time I finish my rage-driven rant, my sobs return and Austin’s embrace strengthens. I reach for the ground, weighed down by my new label. My body folds over Austin’s arms until he pulls me back in and slowly down to the floor and onto his lap. With my knees to my chest, I continue to heave sobbing breaths. Allowing me to calm down on my own, Austin exudes comfort through his tight embrace.

  Once I find a normal breathing pattern and the tears subside, I turn in his lap and lay my face against his chest. His heart is beating faster than normal, but the rhythm lulls me back to reality before he tries to console me.

  “Baby, you are not a murderer. What you did was brave. It was self-defense. Ruzek told you that, too. I understand now why you might want to talk to him. I didn’t see it earlier, but I get it. I’m sorry I said what I did about Ryan, but if you want me to be upset he is dead instead of you, you’ll be disappointed. I can’t be. What he did to you, to J, and to us? Well, that is something I cannot forgive. I could have lost you because of him. So no, I’m not sorry he is dead, but I am sorry for the pain you are going through. I know I have told you before, but, Ry, you are my world.”

  Words fail to materialize as he finishes. I understand where he is coming from but right now, I am exhausted. I have been up over thirty-six hours and the physical and emotional turmoil is taking hold. I simply nod my head against his chest and continue listening to the steady beats of his heart. “Ry, are you OK baby,” he asks attempting to lean down and glimpse my face.

  I don’t move.

  “I’m so tired, Aus. I think I want to sleep.”

  He stands up with me cradled in his arms and walks us upstairs to his bedroom. I feel him nod to the others as we pass through the living room.

  Once we are in the privacy of his master suite, he asks, “Do you want to change?”

  I respond with a simple headshake, so he lays me down on the bed and crawls in behind me fully clothed. Panic races through me when he wraps his arm around me in the bed, like Ryan did the night before.

  I sit straight up and turn to him. “No, not like that. We can’t lay like that.”

  Fear crosses his beautiful features, and he reaches out to touch me before stopping himself.

  “OK, Ry, you tell me what you need. I am right here, baby.”

  I place my palm on his chest, forcing him back to the pillow, and snuggle under his arm with my cheek against his chest. Pulling his other arm around me, I find the safe place I need and fall asleep to the melodic sound of his heartbeat.

  Chapter 39

  Rylee

  The echoing boom of a gunshot jolts me upright in bed. My heart is racing and my whole body trembles in fear. With sweat running down my spine, I recall the dream vividly. It ends with me staring into the muzzle of Ryan’s gun before it goes off.

  Beside me, Austin is still sound asleep in all of his clothes. Watching him sleep settles my nerves, but I cannot close my eyes without seeing the loaded gun between my eyes.

  With small careful movements, I climb from the bed to go after a drink of water. Halfway down the stairs, I notice the living room light is still on and I can hear faint voices. It is after midnight now and considering the long day we all had, I am surprised anyone is still awake.

  A lone bottle of Jack sits on the marble counter and I abandon my search for water, opting for a stiff drink instead. In a tall tumbler, I add three ice cubes, a few shots of Jack, and a splash of coke. The whiskey burns down the back of my throat, but I have hopes it will quiet the demons in my head. I still can’t shake the images of Ryan and the gun.

  Not wanting to disturb anyone or be forced to talk, I take a seat at the end of the long, black dining room table. With the chair pushed back, I pull my knees into my chest and stare absentmindedly out of the bay window at the blanket of stars gracing the onyx sky. My mind wonders through the events of the past few months, from my new relationship to the brutal ending of an old one.

  In pondering Ryan’s demise, I wonder whether there is a stairway to heaven and a highway to hell. If so, which did Ryan take? Swallowing another mouthful of sinus-clearing whiskey, I realize there is a certain stairway a few feet from me that will take me to my personal heaven—Austin. Determined to finish the drink so my mind will clear, I throw back another gulp and that’s when I notice Eric doing the same to the bottle.

  He doesn’t seem to know I am here. By the look in his eyes, I can tell that something is definitely wrong. I stand up and quietly pad over to him before placing a hand on his bare shoulder blade.

  “Hey, bud, is everything OK? You look like someone kicked your puppy.”

  With his hands firmly against the counter, he leans his body down and back dropping his head. Eric is so much smaller than the rest of the men in this house, but he is physically fit and covered in lean muscle. The definition shows across his back and shoulders as he stretches before pushing back up off one foot and looking at me just above his outstretched arm.

  His eyes are the color of cocoa and sadness lurks below his long lashes.

  Dropping his head back down, I hear him whisper, “I broke up with Jen.”

  Holy shit, did he say what I think he did? He and Jen have been together for more years than I care to remember. She has always pulled him away from us. I don’t know Jen all that well, but I don’t particularly care for the sides of her I have seen. Regardless, Eric loved her enough to spend several years with her, so we always supported him.

  “I’m sorry, Eric. What happened?” I ask, pulling him into a side hug.

  He pulls himself upright and wraps a free arm around my waist before picking up the bottle of Jack with his free hand. He holds up the bottle, motioning to the table.

  “Shall we?”

  I resume my seat at the end of the table and Eric sits to my right, facing the windows. After taking a swig from the bottle, he runs a hand through his hair and sighs.

  “Fuck, Ry, I don’t know what happened. You called me the other night, and I came. She has been bat shit crazy about it since. I realized she would never let me be a part of my family. I mean, shit, Ry. I don’t know. I’m done with her, but what the hell am I going to do now?”

  The agony in his face pulls at my heart. I hate to see anyone in pain and, despite the shit storm in my life, I am happy to have someone else to focus on for a little while.

  “Well, Eric, if you are sure you don’t want to be with her anymore, you move forward. But if you aren’t sure, or you are doing this for any reason other than it’s what your heart wants, then you might need to rethink things. You know that no matter what you decide, we will all be here.”

  He gives my hand a squeeze as he ponders the words I threw out. “I know you will, Ry. Hell, you have had the worst week imaginable, and here I am laying this shit on you. Fuck, I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t you dare apologize, Eric. You came when I needed you and I welcome any distraction from the nightmares in my head. So what do you want, Eric? What does Eric Rivers want?”

  A light chuckle wafts through the air as he stares at me with a moment of clarity. “I want to be free from her. I mean, I am free from her … but unfortunately that also frees me from a place to live and most likely a job.”

  Oh crap. I forgot Eric works for her father’s law firm and, regardless of whether he is fired or not, it would be a hostile work environment going forward. Giving it some thought, I go out on a limb.

  “So you have no place to go and no job - that’s your main concern?” I ask.

  His facial expression lightens as I raise an eyebrow and give him a wink.

  “What are you up to, Rylee?”

  I stand up and cross the few steps to stand next to him. He is resting against the counter again. He looks over his shoulder at me as I grab the bottle of whiskey and take a swig. Thankful I don’t cough it up, I ceremoniously place it back on the counter and announce, “Well, I will just solve all of your problems with a flick of my hand. How does that sound?”

  He look
s as me with understandable confusion. I wave my hand through the air as a magician would his wand.

  “Mr. Rivers, how would you like to work with me?”

  His eyes go wide and I can see the idea spinning in his mind. “No, you can’t do that, Ry. I appreciate it, but I don’t want to put you out.”

  With whiskey flowing through my system, I am feeling good and I intend to get Eric to lighten up and accept my genuine job offer. Prancing across the kitchen, I reach for the below-counter sound system and turn the radio up to an acceptable volume. It seems that no one changed the station since I last set it to the eighties' hair band station.

  I look back to Eric with a wicked gleam. “Eric, I am dead serious. You should come to work with me. Gabe and I were planning to interview soon anyway. This way I wouldn’t have to waste my time. That is, if you want the job.”

  Eric pushes off the counter with an undeniable smile on his face. “Are you kidding me, Ry? I would love to work with you. I hate my fucking job.”

  We take turns drinking from the nearly empty bottle.

  “All right then, so you have a new job. Now to solve your housing issue—you can move in with me. I am never there anyway and I’m not sure I will ever want to set foot in that house again. So there you go.”

  The look of shock and relief on his face makes me laugh. He reaches out with the bottle in his hand. As I reach for it, he uses his other hand to pull me into a hug. A chaste kiss grazes my cheek.

  “You are my fucking hero, Ry.”

  We stand there a moment before Def Leppard’s Pour Some Sugar on Me comes blasting through the speakers, fueling my bizarre need to dance. Spinning out of the embrace, I begin playing air guitar and mouthing the words. Eric gives me bashful smile before joining in the absurdity. It feels fantastic to let loose and have a little ridiculous fun. Drunk or not, I need this. I need to forget, if only for a little while.

  Chapter 40

  Austin

  It is after one o’clock in the morning and I find myself in bed, fully clothed and alone. What’s stranger is that I can hear what sounds like a party going on downstairs. I am not surprised to find Ry missing. I had a feeling she would have a hard time sleeping, but I hoped I would notice her movements. My clothes are wrinkled and uncomfortable after being slept in, so I change into a pair of gray track pants and a black tank before going in search of the music.

  On the edge of the kitchen, I find Dani, Jeremy, and Ruzek hanging back with giddy smiles on their faces. I lay a hand on J’s shoulder to signal my arrival, not wanting to interrupt whatever is going on.

  “Hey man, what is everyone doing?”

  J responds with a nod towards the kitchen. I glance up to find the most beautiful girl in the world with a magnificent smile on her face, dancing like an idiot with her friend. They appear to be putting on a mock stage show to an old Motley Crue song. Watching her play air guitar and swing her long, golden hair back and forth is the most adorable thing I have ever seen.

  J looks up at me from his wheelchair with a huge smile on his face. It is clear he is also enjoying seeing his sister let loose. He lets out a quiet laugh.

  “We used to do this shit all the time in the shed behind our house whenever we were locked out. Eric thought we were crazy the first time he saw it, until Ry convinced him he should join in the fun.”

  I smile and look back into the kitchen, only to catch the emerald green eyes that were put on this earth to melt my heart staring back at me. She waves me to her with a come-hither look on her face and damn if I can say no to that.

  “Excuse me, guys, it seems I am being called on stage,” I say as I step through the group gathered in the doorway.

  She pulls me to her with alternating come here motions. The serious sexy look on her face is speaking straight to my cock, making it hard to hide. Once I reach her, she launches herself off the floor and into my arms. I taste the whiskey on her breath as she kisses me passionately and whistles come from all around. My hands are on her glorious ass as I attempt to pull back, afraid I will lose myself in her.

  A quick break in the kiss allows me to ask, “So what ya doing?”

  The smile on my face is so big at seeing her in a happy place that it almost hurts. She jumps back out of my arms, throwing an arm around Eric before announcing quite loudly, “We are making life decisions. Right, Eric?”

  A smile of admiration and love crosses his face as he gazes at my beautiful girlfriend. “Hell, yeah, we are.”

  With that, they resume the air rock show to the end of Cinderella’s Gypsy Road. The song ends and the rest of the crowd join us in the kitchen. Ry grabs everyone glasses and a new bottle of Jack from my stash. After pouring everyone a generous drink, she announces that we are celebrating. Eric chimes in behind her.

  “Hell, yes, we are. To Ry,” he says, as he raises his glass and slams the shot.

  The rest of us are not as quick to drink and J asks the question on everyone’s mind. “What is it we’re celebrating?”

  Ry makes her way over to her brother, unsteady on her feet. She leans down and whispers loud enough for everyone to hear.

  “No more Jen, but shh, don’t say anything. I think Eric is a little sad.”

  The entire room breaks out in laughter at her not-so-subtle secret.

  Eric laughs too and adds, “No more Jen, but I gained a new boss and a new place to live. Here’s to Ry.”

  He lifts his drink to her and they take yet another shot.

  A little confused by their cryptic explanation, I ask for clarification. “What exactly are you two talking about?”

  Rylee stalks toward me and falls into my chest with a giggle. “Eric is going to work with me and live at my house. Oh, and he broke up with that evil Jen.”

  The last part again comes out well above a whisper, sending the group into laughter. Jeremy looks shell-shocked by the news.

  “Eric, what did you let Ry talk you into this time?” He asks, concerned for his buddy.

  Eric’s upbeat attitude takes a nosedive at the question. “She didn’t talk me into anything, J. She is helping me out in a huge way. You know Jen’s dad will fire my ass when he figures out I dumped her, and I sure as hell don’t have a place to stay since he bought her the condo.”

  Taken aback, J chews his lip a moment before he continues his friendly interrogation. “OK, but are you sure you want to leave her? Fuck Eric, you have been with that girl for years. Do you think making a major life decision while you're shitfaced with my sister is the best plan?”

  Eric looks at Ry and winks before he lays into J. “Fuck you, J. I am a big boy and, for the record, I didn’t take a drink until after I broke up with the bitch. Ry was nowhere around for that part. I found her in here afterward. So get off your fucking high horse and let the rest of us make our own decisions for once.”

  The tension in the room skyrockets as J and Eric stare one another down.

  Ry leans up on her toes, kisses my cheek, and whispers, “Can you get Dani and Ruzek out of here, please? I need to fix this. I cannot stand those two fighting.”

  Her eyes plead with me to let this be a family discussion, so I round up the other two non-family members and make a trail to the other room. As soon as we clear the doorway, the shouting begins between Eric and J. Then I hear Ry scream, ‘shut-up both of you’ at the top of her lungs and the entire house goes silent.

  I cannot help the grin on my face. I love that woman and boy, can she hold her own with the best of them.

  Chapter 41

  Rylee

  These two nitwits are arguing over nothing. I don’t understand why J jumped on Eric’s case. Now I’m pissed. We were having a perfectly good time blowing off a little steam before he decided Eric and I are incapable of making rational decisions. After I yell at them both to shut up, they are staring at me. J looks pissed and Eric has a goofy smirk on his face.

  I position myself between them and turn to J.

  “What exactly is your problem?” My han
ds are on my hips and my body language screams ‘do not fuck with me’.

  He takes a deep breath, looking between Eric and me before sighing heavily.

  “For starters, Ry, I’m in shock. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy to see you two goofing around like we did when we were kids, but I’m not sure today is the day for any of us to be making life-altering decisions.” He pauses studying both Eric and me who continue to stare, demanding further explanation. After running an exasperated hand through his hair, he continues. “Ry, your life has been turned upside down in the past forty-eight hours and I am grateful as fuck that Eric was here for you. But to come in here tonight and find you two announcing life decisions drunk off your asses doesn’t sit right. Why now, Eric? What makes you think you won’t wake up tomorrow, or three weeks from now, regretting all this? I am only trying to protect both of you.”

  And there it is. J is playing the part of the protective big brother like he always has. Of course he has always been my big brother, but he also served that role for Eric. Eric is my age, making him almost two years younger than J. While they are most certainly friends first, J is the alpha in this group and he is fiercely protective of us all.

  A smile breaks through my scowling face as I realize what he is doing. Eric comes up behind me and with a hand on my shoulder he answers my big brother’s questions.

  “Jesus, J. I’m sorry, bro. Look, this thing with Jen has been coming for a long time. I was in basically the opposite position of Ry. I stayed with her because I figured there was nothing else out there. But when she tried to make me choose between being there for Ry when she needed me most and her, I saw the big picture.”

  Eric’s hand is unsteady on my shoulder. Instinctively I turn, wrapping an arm around his waist, and give him a small smile. His arm goes around me as he finishes his thoughts. “Rylee calling me in the middle of the worst possible night of her life made me realize I’m not alone. It sounds stupid now, but I thought you guys kind of left me behind. It was Jen all along that caused it all. So no, I don’t think I will wake up and ever regret this decision. I’ve fucking missed you guys.”