“You were too far away.” Linc nuzzled his nose along the shell of my ear then nibbled it. “Jesus, I need to touch you all the fucking time. It feels like you’re slipping away from me, and I’m going to lose you all over again.”
“Linc, there’s no place that far. I will find you this time.” It was a grand declaration, but I wasn’t just blowing words up his ass. I meant every single one of them.
“You better go to sleep,” Rush whispered, his hot breath stirring my chest hair.
“I can’t,” I whispered back then pressed my lips to the top of his head. My eyes burned with exhaustion, but my heart raced from more than the last round of sex that carried us into the early morning hours. It was panic—plain and simple.
God, my brain was just as spastic as my heart. What would happen once I returned to San Diego? Were we really going to attempt a long-distance relationship? Was that what either of us wanted? My kids were right, I had considered getting a real estate broker license in Illinois, but wasn’t it too soon to even think that way?
“Linc, it’s going to be okay. We’re going to find a way.”
“It feels like the first time we said goodbye, maybe even worse,” I confessed. “I had this glimpse at what my future could look like and…”
“Just breathe, baby. We’re not saying goodbye. We’re not even saying so long for now.”
“What will we say when you drop me off at the airport tomorrow?” I asked.
“Five hours,” Rush corrected sleepily. “And I’m not just dropping you off. I’m going to walk with you as far as I can, I’m going to kiss your gorgeous mouth, and then I’ll say see you soon. I will see you soon, Linc. I’ll fly out to San Diego as soon as I can.”
I closed my eyes and held on to the words he spoke because he sounded so damn certain. I didn’t mean to fall asleep, but I did. We woke two hours later when my alarm went off. I pulled Rush on top of my chest and he nestled between my parted thighs. Both of our cocks were eagerly seeking pleasure, as if we hadn’t blown through a record number of condoms that week. Jesus, I’d never get sick of the look on Rush’s face when he slid balls deep inside me or the sound he made when he filled the condom after loving me so thoroughly.
Afterward, Rush struggled to stay awake, so I gently rolled him to his back and looked into the green eyes that had haunted me my entire adult life. “I’ll call a car service so you can get some rest.”
“No fucking way.” Rush threw back the covers and headed to his bathroom to piss and start the shower. I joined him at the double sink and reached for the toothbrush I had used all week long. I ran my fingers over the bristles and attempted to push the encroaching blues away, because sadness would ruin the moments we had left together.
I wanted to tell Rush that I was afraid I’d make an ass of myself at the airport when we said “see you soon,” but I held my breath. It seemed wrong to rob him of the moments he wanted with me at the airport just because I was afraid of losing it. I could do this. I would do this. For him. For us. As I watched Rush perform the simplest tasks, like brush his teeth and wash his hair, I realized just how badly I wanted there to be an us.
It was too soon to swear my undying love to him. Hell, we’d only had a week together. Some would say that it wasn’t too quick, or that it wasn’t even love at first sight since we were high school sweethearts once upon a time, but we lived in reality and not some fairy tale. I had loved the boy with my whole heart, but I wanted to love the man with my entire being. That would take time and commitment. I had both in spades if he wanted them.
The mood between us was pretty somber, even though we touched and kissed until it was time to leave. I checked in for my flight, and we grabbed a small bite to eat at a café in the airport. I tasted nothing, but I gave it my best. We lingered as long as we could, but the lines to go through security kept getting longer.
We held hands as we stood in line, not really speaking because what could we say that we wouldn’t doubt later was a product of the high emotion racing through us. When I reached the front of the line, Rush pressed his lips to mine for a lingering kiss. I swallowed hard to dislodge the lump that had formed in my throat. It was the sweetest goodbye.
“This isn’t goodbye. I will see you soon, Linc.”
I nodded and kissed him briefly once more. “See you soon.”
I slept the entire flight home and was groggy and grouchy when I got off the plane and tracked down my luggage until I saw Phee waving excitedly at the passenger pick-up.
“I’ve missed you so much,” she said, throwing her arms around my neck. “Our children haven’t stopped talking about Rush. Okay, Kennedy talks about Rush while Holden talks about the model. How are you, honey?” she asked once she noticed my silence.
“Um, grouchy and hungry.”
“I can take care of one of those things, but maybe Rush can lend a hand with the other. You call him while I toss this suitcase in the back seat. This is all you have?” Her disdain made me smile for the first time that day.
“I didn’t plan on staying for a week,” I reminded her.
“Oh yeah. Did you do laundry every day?”
“I wore Rush’s gym shorts and T-shirts mostly.” I might’ve stolen a few things just to bring pieces of him home with me.
“Aww, that’s so cute,” she said, her voice rising with each word until she reached a squeaky pitch. “You’re sharing clothes.”
I didn’t respond because Rush answered his phone. “Hi, babe,” he said, his warm voice sending waves of joy through my body. “Did you have a good flight?”
“I don’t know. I slept through the entire thing.”
“I bet you were exhausted after last night and again this morning,” Rush said huskily.
“I’d say it was a culmination of the week’s activities.”
“That too.”
“Hi, Rush,” Phee said loud enough for him to hear when she got behind the wheel. The two had talked a few times on the phone when Phee had called to discuss business. They’d hit if off right away, just as I knew they would. It made my heart happy that all my favorite people got along so well.
“Hi, Phee,” Rush said.
“He sends his regards,” I told Phee.
“Listen, why don’t you call me after you’ve had a chance to eat real food and rest.”
“Sounds good, babe. I miss you already.”
“I missed you before you left,” Rush replied. His voice sounded a little strangled, and my heart squeezed painfully in my chest. “Talk to you soon.”
“Soon,” I said into the phone and disconnected.
Phee didn’t say much until we were seated at our favorite Mexican restaurant with a large basket of chips, a bowl of salsa, and two huge margaritas. “You’re going to miss this place after you move. I’m sure you can get a lot of amazing food in Chicago, but nothing beats the authentic Mexican food in Southern California.”
“You’re assuming that I’m moving too, huh?”
“You’re an idiot if you don’t,” she hummed as she glanced over the menu, as if she wasn’t going to order the same thing she ate every time we came here. She was stalling or waiting for the right time to tell me something. That’s when I spotted the big diamond on her left ring finger.
“Congratulations, Phee. Have you picked a date yet?”
She set down her menu, and her bright smile made the sun look dim in comparison. I held up my hand like she was blinding me, but she just laughed and covered my hand with hers. “Soon,” was all she said.
“Is there something else you want to tell me?” I asked. Was there a reason why she was hurrying into a marriage?
“I’m not pregnant,” she said dryly, “but we do want to try for a child. I’m not getting any younger. Linc, am I crazy to want to start all over again?”
“You’re the best mother I know and any child will be lucky to have you.”
“If my eggs aren’t viable then we’ll adopt. Jackson really wants to raise a child with me
.”
I turned my hand over and linked our fingers. “I’m so fucking happy for you.”
“What about you? Would you do it all over again for the right person?” she asked.
“In a heartbeat,” I said without hesitation. Rush had confessed to me how sorry he was that he hadn’t adopted a child. If things went the way I hoped, I could see us adopting a baby together. I’d had a vasectomy after Holden was born so fathering a child was beyond my capabilities. Rush was adamant that he wanted to adopt rather than find a surrogate. “So many kids need love.”
“Our lives sure took a completely different turn than the one we planned,” Phee said. “Who would’ve thought that we would sit at a table at our favorite restaurant and talk about starting families with someone other than each other.”
“We have new lives and new dreams, but we still have each other. Phee…” My voice broke off and I couldn’t continue. How could I properly express my gratitude for all the roles she played in my life? I couldn’t.
“I love you too,” she said softly. “Usually it takes at least two of those huge drinks before you start getting teary-eyed.”
“I’m running on fumes,” I confessed.
“Let’s get some food in your system so that you can get some rest.”
I enjoyed the great food and company, but I was so relieved when I walked through my condo door. I went straight to my bedroom and crashed on my bed without bothering to undress. When I woke, the sun was still up but had lowered considerably in the sky. I glanced at the clock, calculating the time difference. Rush would still be up, so I dialed his phone number.
“Evening, sleepyhead.” I heard what sounded like water moving on the other end of the line.
“Are you in the bathtub?” I asked.
“Yep,” he admitted. “I’m soaking my sore body. Someone gave me a workout this week. Care to join me?”
I groaned as I imagined him sitting between my spread legs and reclining against my chest in that big tub. I would run my hands all over his beautiful body. “I wish,” I said, feeling my dick lengthening.
“You can, baby. Draw a bath and call me on Skype.”
“Fuck me,” I whispered because that hadn’t occurred to me. “Modern technology is amazing.”
“Just don’t drop your phone.”
I ran a bath, grabbed a glass of wine, and called Rush on Skype. As soon as I saw his face, all my sadness faded away. “Hello, handsome. It’s so good to see your face.” I wanted to see other parts too, but I wouldn’t cheapen the emotions he stirred inside me by focusing on my cock first.
“I looked at my schedule and I can fly out in six days,” Rush said, stealing my breath. “I can only stay for three days, but…”
“I’ll take it. I’ll look at my schedule and see how quickly I can return to Chicago.”
Rush’s sweet smile melted my heart like it did when we were kids. “We’re really going to do this, aren’t we? This is real.”
“We have to try, because I’ve lived more in the last week than I have the past twenty-six years. It feels like the first time all over again, Rush, but better. No more sneaking around, no more pretending that we’re not dying to be in each other’s arms.”
“So much better,” he agreed. “I was afraid to believe, and maybe a small part of me is still afraid.”
“That’s understandable, babe. There’s only one way I can prove how committed I am to making a go of this with you.”
“What’s that?”
“Time,” I told him. “Will you give it to me?”
“I’ll give you anything you want.” As you can imagine, that changed the direction of our conversation and bathtub activities quickly.
The six days without seeing Lincoln felt like six years, and the few hours I spent on the flight to Cali felt like months. I was so excited to see him, but also a little afraid of how he’d act in his own element. Would it be like high school all over again? No touching, holding hands, or kissing in public? I knew Lincoln hadn’t changed his mind because we skyped every single night, but a private conversation with me wasn’t the same as eating out in a restaurant. I wasn’t sure how I’d react if the stilted, standoffish-in-public Linc from my youth returned.
I kept reminding myself that I needed to be patient with him. I had been out for multiple decades and he’d been out for a few weeks. My emotions were all over the fucking place, and I was tightly wound by the time my plane landed. All my concerns faded when I spotted Linc in the crowd of people waiting to pick up passengers. It wasn’t hard to do with his height and distinguished looks making him stand out from the rest. My eyes found him first, so I had a few moments to see his genuine emotions as he waited for me. The hopeful look in his eyes and nervous way he nibbled on his lip set my mind at ease. Then his eyes found mine, and I was enveloped in so much joy and love that it stole my breath. In all my life, only Lincoln looked at me as if I alone created the universe. It had been that way from the moment he stopped fighting his feelings for me when we were sixteen years old. The lost time and distance between us no longer mattered; we had found each other again.
The only thing wider than Linc’s smile when I approached were his open arms, ready to embrace me. He held me tight against his body as a tremor of awareness rippled through both of us. Sex over Skype was fun and relieved our physical needs, but it couldn’t replace the real thing. Then we took a collective breath and pulled back to look into one another’s eyes. Linc stared down at my lips for a brief moment before he kissed me.
“Gross,” someone mumbled as they walked by, but neither of us paid attention.
I must’ve looked as surprised as I felt because Linc chuckled richly before he reached for my hand and led me to his luxury sedan. I wasn’t surprised by the sleek car because privilege and wealth oozed from his pores. Years ago, I might’ve been intimidated by his success and questioned if I belonged in his world but not any longer. Wealth hadn’t changed the parts of Lincoln that I adored the most.
“I was serious when I said I wasn’t hiding any longer,” Linc said when he opened the passenger door for me. “Not saying I won’t fuck up now and again, but please don’t doubt me.” As if to prove the point, he kissed me again and allowed his lips to linger long enough to make us both groan softly.
Once he got in the car, Linc said, “I wanted to wine and dine you, but…”
“They served a delicious dinner on the flight.” First class has some amazing perks, and the salmon and wild rice dinner I ate was one of them. “Besides, food is the last thing on my mind right now.” I reached across the console and placed my hand on his thigh, loving how the muscle bunched beneath my touch.
Linc laughed as he merged into traffic exiting the airport. “Phee wanted us to have a late dinner with them, but I told her it would need to wait until tomorrow.”
“You think to gorge yourself on my body tonight so that we can play nice tomorrow?”
“Something like that,” he replied.
I’d had to take a later flight than I wanted to, which meant the sun was starting to set when the plane landed, it made a beautiful backdrop for our reunion. Of course, I wanted to see Linc in every shade of light. That also meant it was well past his dinnertime, and knowing him, he’d been too excited to eat much.
“Do you want to stop and get something for yourself?”
“No,” he said emphatically. “There’s only one thing on my mind.”
“Keep both hands on the steering wheel,” I commanded when he started to reach over for me at a stoplight. I moved my hand up his leg to cup his crotch and found he was just as hard as I was. I continued to tease the rigid length of his erection during the entire drive to his condo, which took a surprisingly long time for the short distance. I changed the tempo and pressure to keep him on edge.
“California traffic,” Linc growled as his body shook with the need to mate and come.
“Chicago can be pretty hateful too, but nothing like this,” I said casually, like
I wasn’t leaking jizz in my pants like a randy teenager.
By the time we reached his condo, all traces of the sun were gone and stars twinkled in the dark sky. Linc turned off his car and looked at me. “I don’t want you here just for sex.”
“I know that, baby.” I gave his cock one last teasing squeeze before I retracted my hand. “I think it’s adorable that you’re worried about my feelings, while I’m only worried about how much longer it’ll be before you shove your big dick in my mouth or my ass.”
“Jesus, Rush.” Linc whipped off his seatbelt and was out of the car before I could unbuckle myself.
I met him at the trunk of the car where he pulled out the small suitcase I brought. Hell, I probably could’ve used a backpack for clean underwear, condoms, and lube. It was quite possible that I didn’t even need the underwear, and I was sure that Linc was well-prepared for the marathon of sex we’d have over the next three days. So, really I had only needed to bring myself and a few outfits in case we actually left his condo.
“Seconds,” Linc said when he grabbed the handle of my suitcase.
“Huh?”
“You’re seconds away from having my big cock in your mouth or your ass. But first…” Linc slammed the trunk and pressed me against his car. “If this was a private garage, I’d fuck you right now.” He ravaged my mouth with hungry kisses that somehow left me feeling boneless and brittle at the same fucking time. My legs felt limp, but my dick was hard enough to break. “Inside now,” Linc said once he broke our kiss.
I followed him to his condo and waited patiently while he unlocked the front door and opened it. Beneath the ambient glow of his porch light, I saw the wicked promise in his eyes. Linc gestured for me to enter first then guided me inside with his hand at the small of my back.
“Lights down low,” Linc said. The lights he’d left on in the living room dimmed at the same time a slow song began to play. Linc chuckled as he slid his hand down to the swell of my ass. “Well, that part is new.”
“Which part?”
“The music,” he said. “Apparently, that’s the name of this song. I’m just getting used to these smart home features.”
Second Wind Page 17
