He pulled open the fridge door and saw Jake’s baby bottles neatly lined up, and some pureed meals prepared. That was a relief, he thought glumly, staring down at his son who was lying contentedly in his arms. Jake’s face suddenly grew red and he scrunched up his eyes, making little grunting sounds. Moments later the familiar pong of a poohy diaper scented the kitchen.
Cal wrinkled his nostrils. ‘OK mister! I better change you,’ he sighed, heading for the changing station. If Lenora was here she’d be emitting gusty sighs and making faces at having to diaper her son. When she said she wasn’t mother material she wasn’t exaggerating, Cal reflected, whisking off the baby’s babygro with practised ease. Had his expectations of her been too high? Was he constantly, unconsciously comparing her to Sally-Ann who seemed to have taken to babies with a natural ease, knuckling down to her maternal duties with a stoic acceptance that was in complete contrast to Lenora, who had struggled with her new responsibilities from the moment their son was born.
He’d suggested that she get herself checked out for postnatal depression, and she’d snapped that she didn’t need a doctor to tell her that she was depressed. She knew she was depressed. Her depression disappeared when her friends flew down for the weekend and the nanny had complete charge of Jake. There’d been no sign of depression when they’d gone skiing in Aspen for three days after Christmas. She’d been her energetic vivacious self, racing down the slopes without a care in the world. It was only when she got back to their son that her mood had changed, and discontent had set in again.
‘How can she not want to be with you?’ he murmured, tickling Jake’s little fat belly, laughing as his little boy chuckled delightedly. ‘She doesn’t know what she’s missing.’
He fed Jake a few spoonfuls of his puree, gave him a bottle, winded him and laid him on his shoulder until his eyelids drooped and his long dark lashes fanned across his cheek. Cal laid him gently in his cot, covered him up snugly and stood looking at him. He needed to make alternative arrangements for tomorrow, and until Lenora decided she was coming home.
He took a beer from the fridge, cracked it open and sat with his leg over the side of the chair, trying to raise his courage to ring Sally-Ann. ‘All she can do is say no,’ he muttered, scrolling to her number.
She answered after a couple of rings.
‘Yup?’
He tried to judge if she was cool but friendly or cool and antagonistic.
‘It’s me . . .’ he said hesitantly.
‘I know that, Cal, your name came up,’ she drawled and he could imagine her rolling her eyes towards heaven. ‘What’s wrong?’ she asked and he smiled. His wife was always as sharp as a tack.
‘I’m in trouble and I need to ask a big favour of you.’
‘Shoot,’ she said but he sensed unease in her.
‘Lenora’s just phoned, she says she’s staying longer than planned in New York. The nanny’s off until Tuesday and I have to be in Miami tomorrow morning—’
‘And you want me to mind the baby,’ she finished for him.
‘It’s a big ask, I know. If it’s too much, I’ll ring Mom.’
‘Don’t do that,’ Sally-Ann said slowly. ‘Your mom’s too old to be looking after a very young baby. You better bring him here. The girls will be over the moon, I don’t think, so don’t expect too much from them,’ she added drily.
‘Are you sure it’s OK with you?’ he hedged. ‘If it’s too much to ask, I’ll ring Mom, honestly. Or I might even cancel the meetings. It’s typical. We’re at a crucial juncture in financing a new development. Look, sorry, Sally-Ann, I shouldn’t have asked, forget it.’
‘Well you did ask, and I’ve said yes,’ she said in a crisp matter-of-fact voice that made him smile. He’d forgotten how decisive and no nonsense his wife could be.
‘I thought you’d tell me to get lost,’ Cal admitted.
‘I’m not that much of a bitch, Cal.’
‘You’re not a bitch at all, Sally-Ann,’ he said quietly.
‘I am, trust me,’ she retorted but he sensed there was a smile behind her words.
‘Will I leave now, or would you prefer if I came in the morning? It will be around seven a.m. when I land on your doorstep, if it’s tomorrow,’ he warned.
‘Oh, come on now, for goodness sake. No point in making a drama out of it. By the time you get the baby sorted before travelling you’ll be up before cock crow, if you wait until tomorrow,’ Sally-Ann instructed. ‘I’ll freshen up the guest room for you. Bring a few changes of clothes for him, diapers, wipes, bottles, formula, pacifier, if he has one, and your travel cot. Our cot is in the attic somewhere.’
‘OK, I better get packing. This little guy has more gear than the King of Siam. Thanks, Sally-Ann, I really, really appreciate this and—’
‘OK, Cal, no need to grovel,’ his wife interjected. ‘See you when I see you. Bye.’ She hung up and he took another slug of his beer and reflected on what a stalwart woman Sally-Ann had proved herself to be since they’d announced the news of their divorce. If it was OK with her, he was going to ask if she’d mind if he got an apartment in Houston for himself, the baby and a nanny, and Lenora if she decided to come back. It was time to stop hiding from family and friends.
The news of Jake’s birth was known only to his immediate family. His mother had been pretty pissed with him and had been full of sympathy for Sally-Ann and the girls until Sally-Ann had a chat with her and set her straight about the circumstances of Jake’s conception, telling her that it was as much a shock to Cal as it was to Sally-Ann. That had been more than decent of her.
His mom hadn’t yet met her new grandson. It was time she did, Cal resolved. He was done with commuting to Galveston. He wanted to spend more time with his daughters to reassure them that he was as much their daddy as ever he’d been, divorce or no, and he wanted them to fall in love with their baby brother.
Maybe Lenora had done him a favour. Cal stood up, took a deep breath and began the daunting task of packing for his son’s first trip to Houston.
Lenora poured herself a glass of red and took a swig. Her hand was shaking, holding the glass and she moved over to the sofa and flopped down, staring unseeingly at the panoramic view of the Hell Gate Bridge, the East River, and Astoria Park, from the big glass floor-to-ceiling window in the lounge of the small but perfectly appointed two-bed apartment rented by her older sister, Lana.
The thought of going back to Galveston and the baby had induced a deep wave of depression that had almost overwhelmed her. She just couldn’t do it; not for a while anyway, if ever, she’d decided that morning when her sister had offered to drive her to JFK. The relief of having made the phone call to Cal to tell him that she was postponing her return was indescribable. She felt she could breathe again.
In fairness he’d been a lot more reasonable than she’d expected about her non-return. Patience wasn’t exactly a virtue of his. Cal was a hothead, inclined to explode, and she was sure he’d have let fly at her and made a scene. He really had no idea of how being here for the past few days had shown Lenora more than anything that motherhood was not her forte. It wasn’t even the great social life, out in clubs and bars – although she was thoroughly enjoying that aspect of her stay – that was soothing her fraught spirit; it was the absence of her baby, and all his requirements – crying, needing to be fed, bathed, dressed, undressed, that went on 24/7 – that was the true balm of her escape from Galveston.
Even Cal offering her marriage, something she’d longed for for months before she’d got pregnant – the reason she’d got pregnant in the first place – was not enough to make her want to be his wife.
Lenora took another gulp of wine. She’d made a real mess of her life. When she’d fallen for Cal she’d thought marriage to him would be the ultimate result. He was sexy, fun, and wealthy. A wonderful catch. Or so she’d believed. He was also a father who loved his kids, a businessman who was immersed in his work, and the ten-year difference in their ages, when he would want to
flop and eat in after a long day’s work and she would want to get the hell out of the apartment after being stuck with the baby all day, was something she truly hadn’t expected. She’d thought none of it through, except the notion of wearing his rings on her finger while they lived a high-flying social life. In her dream world their child was looked after by a nanny full-time.
She’d only discovered when she’d lived with her lover that Cal actually liked children and enjoyed doing family stuff. He’d wanted for her to eventually meet his daughters and for them to meet Jake. He’d told he would be looking for shared custody. She would have to endure his girls living with them part time. She hadn’t expected any of this to turn out as it had. If she could roll back the clock she would never have stopped taking the pill.
‘So what did Cal say when you told him you were staying in New York for another few days?’ Her sister emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in a towelling robe, where she’d been indulging in a long soak and pamper session after a hard week’s work and a long night of partying.
‘He asked me did I want to get married.’ Lenora nibbled on some sushi. She’d prepared a light lunch for both of them, since neither of them had surfaced for breakfast, but her appetite had disappeared.
‘Are you kidding me?’ Lana’s jaw dropped open.
‘Nope!’
‘Wow! But that’s what you wanted. Why the long face?’ Lana poured herself a glass of chilled chardonnay and topped up her sister’s glass of red.
‘Oh come on, Lana, I’m not that stupid to think he’s madly in love with me and wants nothing more than to make me his beloved wife. It was a duty call. “Do you want to get married?” What kind of a proposal is that, for God’s sake?’
‘You could always get married and stick it out for a year or two and file for divorce and get a whacking big settlement,’ Lana pointed out pragmatically.
‘I suppose so. I hung up on him, I was so ticked off.’ Lenora scowled.
‘For goodness sake, play your cards right. Use your head, forget your heart,’ Lana advised. ‘That’s the best strategy with men.’
‘It hasn’t worked out the way I thought it would. I’m getting the feeling that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. I deliberately got pregnant so that he’d marry me. Now he’s asked me, but not the way I wanted. And I’ve got a baby that I’ve got no maternal feelings for and don’t want to be with. Imagine a mother saying that about her own child. How horrible am I, Lana? I’m unnatural.’ Lenora burst into tears.
‘You’re not unnatural, Lenora.’ Lana sat down beside her and hugged her. ‘You’re being honest. There are many, many women out there who’ve had children that they don’t want and are afraid to admit it because it’s sort of a taboo subject. At least you’ve the self-awareness and the guts to say it. Look at Mom. She’s not maternal by any stretch of the imagination. She turned to the bottle when we were growing up because she felt trapped and couldn’t admit it. How can you expect to be maternal when you never experienced what it was to be mothered?’ Lana added bitterly.
‘She did her best, I suppose,’ Lenora sniffled. ‘She’s just not a kid hugger, and I guess I inherited that from her.’
‘Maybe time will change how you feel about your little boy,’ Lana said.
‘Maybe. I don’t know. I just know I can’t go back there right now.’
‘That’s OK, stay here for another week and see how it goes.’
‘Thanks for being so understanding and not judging me,’ Lenora said gratefully.
‘I don’t believe in judging. We all choose our own paths, they say, I’m just glad I haven’t chosen yours,’ Lana grinned, giving her sister another hug. ‘See if absence makes the heart grow fonder for the baby and Cal. Now take that frown off your face, and let’s get dressed and hit the town. I’ve got tickets for Caroline’s on Broadway: fab cocktails and great standup comedy, just what you need to put a smile on your face.’
‘I’m not in the humour for comedy,’ Lenora protested.
‘What do you want to do, go to a sad movie and sit there tearing up, or sit here feeling sorry for yourself? Not having it, sis. Shift your fabulous tush, get dressed and come on. You choose your choice, now live with it,’ Lana ordered, before biting into a sushi roll with relish.
You choose your choice now live with it. Her sister’s words slithered back into her mind twelve hours later while Lenora lay in bed, a tad woozy after several potent cocktails. Perhaps another week in the city would result in her maternal gene kicking in. She might get a terrible longing to see Jake, she thought drowsily. Right now though she was very glad not to have to get up to attend to her son’s needs. Cal could do that and after a week without her there he might not be quite so enamoured of second-time fatherhood. The thought gave her some comfort and she fell into a sound sleep, oblivious to the sirens of the cardiac ambulances racing along Crescent Street to the nearby cardiology hospital.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
SALLY-ANN
‘Savannah, Madison, I need to speak to you both, please,’ Sally-Ann yelled up the stairs after her conversation with Cal.
‘I’m busy, Mom,’ shouted Savannah.
Madison appeared on the landing, taking her earbuds out of her ears. ‘What’s up, Mom?’
‘Savannah, get down heah right this minute,’ Sally-Ann roared. Since Cal had told his daughters about their parents’ divorce, Savannah’s transformation into a truculent, insolent teen had accelerated and each day was becoming a wearisome battle, in which it seemed to Sally-Ann that she was constantly suppressing her temper and pretending to be calm and reasonable, or yelling at her daughter, as she was now. Madison, during these times of confrontation, withdrew into the comfort of her iPod, distressed that the twin she loved and the mother she adored were in constant conflict.
Savannah stomped down the stairs, eyes flashing venom. ‘What? I told you I was busy.’
‘Watch the way you speak to me, missy, I’ve told ya before y’all are getting too damn big for your britches and I won’t stand for it.’ Sally-Ann, suffering a mega dose of PMT, resisted the overpowering urge to smack her daughter, and in the moment that every parent on the planet experiences, suddenly realized she sounded just like her Pop used to when he chastised her.
Savannah stared at her, slitty eyed, arms folded.
‘What do you need us for, Mom?’ Madison asked.
‘I need you both to be the best people you can be, and the best and kindest daughters that I know you are.’ She eyeballed Savannah who, hearing these unexpected words, looked disconcerted in spite of herself.
‘What’s going on, Mom?’ Madison was suddenly wary.
‘Your dad is stuck and asked a favour of me, and I said yes, and I want you both to support me, to support us, OK?’
‘OK, Mom,’ Madison agreed instantly.
‘Savannah?’ Sally-Ann looked at her intently.
‘I’d like to know first before I agree to anything,’ she said cheekily.
‘Don’t be mean, Sav,’ Madison chided her twin.
‘OK,’ she agreed with bad grace.
‘Great. Now the thing is, due to circumstances outside his control, Dad needs to leave the baby with us to—’
‘No way, Mom. NO WAY!’ Savannah shouted. ‘Why are you being nice to him after what he’s done to us?’
‘Sweetie, our divorce has nothing to do with that little baby—’
‘Yeah, but it’s got somethin’ to do with Dad’s hoe!’
‘Savannah, don’t call Lenora that. I won’t allow it,’ Sally-Ann rebuked her sternly. ‘Let me tell you something, it wasn’t Lenora that broke up our marriage. We had already gone our different ways a good while back. The problem with your dad and I was that we got married too young.’ She looked at the mutinous expression on Savannah’s face, the pinched worry on Madison’s and her heart went out to them.
‘Look, let’s have some gal talk, heart to heart. No holds barred. It’s a fine day, let’s fire up the barbecue, sit
out in the yard and toast some S’mores and chinwag and not fight, whaddya say?’ She reached over and gave them each a hug.
‘OK, Mom,’ Savannah agreed, relaxing into her mother’s embrace, much to Sally-Ann’s relief.
‘Cool,’ Madison hugged her back.
‘OK, let’s have a couple of hot dogs while we’re at it,’ Sally-Ann suggested. ‘Maddy go get the cushions, Savannah, get the glasses and Coke, we have about two hours before your dad arrives with the baby.’
Twenty minutes later, the hot dogs were on the barbie and Savannah had set the table with the sauces, some paper napkins and the drinks. Sally-Ann poured the Coke into glasses and raised hers. ‘Let’s clink. My toast today is to mothers and daughters, and gal talk.’
‘And to sisters,’ Maddy clinked, smiling at her twin.
‘And to . . . erm . . . I don’t know,’ Savannah clinked unenthusiastically.
‘OK, sit down, relax, and I’ll try and explain what went wrong with Daddy and me,’ Sally-Ann invited, drawing her chair in to the table. ‘You know we started dating a few months before I went to college, and we fell madly in love—’
‘Did you lose your virginity to him?’ Savannah eyed her over her Coke glass, the bubbles tickling her nose.
‘I did.’
‘After the third date?’ Maddy enquired.
‘No, not quite so soon. Things were different then. Girls didn’t put out as much as they do now. You know what great grandma Connolly told me when I went on my first date with Cal?’ she grinned at the girls.
Orange Blossom Days Page 20
