by Maya Hughes
I hope that’s true. I really hope that’s true. I don’t even know why I continue to write these letters and send pictures, because you never respond. I guess I hope that one day when she starts asking more questions and gets older and starts looking for you, I can tell her that I tried my best to make sure you knew about her and tried to do what’s best for her. I can’t imagine how you can look at the pictures I send you year after year and not want to know her, to meet her. She’s a really amazing little girl and I’ll do everything I can to protect her. Well, until next year …
~Alex
P.S. You’re really a piece of crap for not being a part of your daughter’s life and I’ll never forgive you for it. I hope someday she can.
Gabe stood holding onto that letter for an eternity as his mind reeled. He started to crush the envelope in his hand before he realized that there were pictures inside. He ripped them out of the envelope and bent them back to flat from his crushing grip. It wasn’t until he started flipping through the pictures that the reality of the situation started to sink in. He had a daughter.
A gorgeous little girl with her mother’s deep brown eyes, his chestnut hair, and a smile that could melt an iceberg. It wasn’t until the tears started dripping onto the pictures that he even realized he was crying. Knowing that if Aaron came back to his office right then, he would kill him—strangle him with his bare hands—he grabbed the folder filled with the rest of the envelopes and stormed out of the office.
The secretary seemed startled and tried to stop him as he charged out of the waiting area. He didn’t even give her a backward glance. Taking the stairs, he ran down twenty flights of stairs until he hit the lobby and pushed out the front doors to his town car. Max, his driver, was ready and waiting as always.
Ever since getting a couple of DUIs a few years ago, he was determined not to make that mistake again. Having a driver was an easy solution to save himself and others, because the other option—quitting drinking—wasn’t going to happen, even though no matter how much he drank, he couldn’t drown the feeling that he just wasn’t whole.
Gabe tore into the folder as soon as his butt hit the seat and dug for the first envelope with a large zero printed on the front. He started flipping through all the pictures, his heart wrenching. There was one of Alex when she was heavily pregnant. Gabe ran his finger over the curve of her belly. The belly that held his child. He wished he could have been there to see her and to feel their child growing within her. It took everything in him not to go back and throttle Aaron to within an inch of his life.
“Boss, where we headed?” asked Max when Gabe didn’t say anything once he got into the car.
“I just need you to drive around for a bit, okay?”
“No problem, boss,” replied Max, pulling away from the curb and into traffic to begin their aimless drive around the city.
After flipping through all the pictures, he went through them again, this time taking in every detail. After the one of Alex pregnant, there was one of Emma right after she was born. She looked like a squishy little alien with a cute pink bow on her head. He smiled through his tears as he looked at his little girl. His little girl.
There were more pictures of her and Alex on that first day of her life. A sharp pain stabbed him in his chest—he’d missed the birth of his daughter. He hadn’t been there for Alex. He hadn’t taken the baby breathing classes, gotten to drive her to the hospital like a panicked idiot, or hold her hand as she tried to crush it while going through her contractions. He’d missed all of it, and the searing loss of everything he hadn’t been there for was compounded in his mind as he looked at all the other envelopes of years he’d missed.
He made his way through each one of the envelopes and watched his little girl grow up year by year. The addresses changed over time, to a couple of different states, but she always included them. After two envelopes, his phone started ringing non-stop. He knew who it was and he refused to answer.
If Aaron ever thought he could talk his way out of this, he had another thing coming. Because the next time he laid eyes on him, he was punching him directly in the face as hard as he could. It wasn’t until he started getting tag team calls from Aaron and Ciara that he finally turned the phone off.
He looked at the pictures of Emma again, her umbilical cord being cut, sucking on a pacifier, pushing up on her tummy with her little bright-blue eyes sparkling, crawling, reaching for a toy, and walking. He came to one of her first day of school and ran his finger over her big, bright, captivating smile. She had Alex’s riotous curls, but the color was his. The ache in his chest finally became too much and he had to put the pictures down. He felt like he was having a heart attack.
Why was she sending these to Aaron? Why hadn’t she tried to contact him? Did she hate him that much? He knew he screwed up, but he had a right to know his daughter. Her P.S.s on the letters made him think she had been trying to contact him and had obviously failed. Checking the envelope, they were all addressed to him, but with the address for the management agency. It was almost enough to make him tell Max to turn the car around so that he could beat Aaron within an inch of his life for keeping this from him for so long.
But there was one thing he knew for sure; he was getting his family back.
Chapter 13
Gabe stood at the fence that ran along the front and sides of the house and opened the front gate. Walking up to the front door, his heart was pounding so hard that he could hear the rushing of blood in his ears. As he lifted a shaky finger to doorbell, a squeal of laughter came from the back of the house. Making his way to the side of the house, he unlatched the side gate and walked into the backyard.
It was a meticulously landscaped, lush green yard with every color of flower imaginable around the perimeter. A huge swing set with a slide and clubhouse attached sat off in the back corner of the yard. It was picture-perfect.
Alex and Emma were in the middle of a water fight, complete with water guns, balloons, and sponges. The sprinkler was on and it cast a mist throughout the air that streaked the whole scene with rainbows. It was like he had walked into a dream. Alex and Emma were screaming and laughing as they completely drenched one another and chased each other around the yard.
“The tickle monster is going to get you,” Alex growled, stomping her feet toward the little girl in exaggerated steps. He tucked back a little bit into the shadow of the house, not wanting to be discovered yet as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. Emma squealed and ran as Alex stomped after her, hands full of water balloons. Emma grabbed a water gun and shot Alex in the face.
“Argh, you got me,” Alex growled, staggering before she fell onto the ground facedown. Emma laughed and jumped up and down triumphantly.
“I did it, I did it!” she said, stopping abruptly when she saw Gabe.
Alex looked up to see what Emma was staring at. He was standing in their backyard. Gabe Stevens, father of her child, was actually here in the flesh.
“Did you see? Did you see me kill the monster, Mister?” Emma said, bounding over to him.
That caught Alex’s attention and she whipped up from the ground, so fast that he was sure it had made her dizzy. She sat frozen for a few seconds, then pushed up on her knees, staring at him. Emma pulled on his arm for him to bend down and she whispered into his ear, “I didn’t really hurt mommy, we were just playing.” He nodded at her dumbly, with his gaze locked on Alex.
She’d changed a little bit over the years. Her hair was shorter, the long raven locks he’d twirled around his fingers during their nights together was now chin-length and soaking wet. Her body had taken on a decidedly more adult figure which rounded her hips and a fuller chest. The white t-shirt she was wearing clung to her breasts, which he still dreamed about some nights. Her waist remained almost as he remembered it. It was a little thicker but he appreciated that, especially because he knew the cause—the little water nymph currently pulling on his sleeve.
“Hey Emma, I think our water batt
le is over; why don’t you head inside and start taking out our pancake ingredients?”
“Okay, Mommy,” she replied to Alex. “Are you staying for pancakes?” she asked as she turned to Gabe.
“Uh, I don’t—” Gabe started. Pancakes. His mouth started watering simply thinking about Alex’s pancakes. He’d only had them twice in his life, but that was more than enough to bring back vivid memories of those melt-in-your-mouth discs of heaven.
“He’s not.” Alex said, interrupting his daydream.
“Emma, just run inside, okay? Don’t forget the chocolate chips,” she said, shooing the little girl toward the back door. As he watched her go, he knew from the bottom of his toes that she was his.
That seemed to get Emma’s attention off the new visitor who had sneaked into their backyard. Emma disappeared through the sliding glass door, giving him a wave as she slid it shut behind her. He followed her with his eyes until she disappeared. He finally looked back to Alex. She stood slowly and started to pick up the toys and broken water balloons from the grass.
“I see you finally decided to come,” she ground out through clenched teeth, folding her arms in front of her chest, which pushed her boobs up higher. His eyes laser focused in on her pebbled nipples and she made a sound of displeasure before trying to pull her shirt away from her chest. She settled on folding her arms over her breasts. He cleared his throat and snapped his gaze back to her face.
He held the envelopes in front of him like a shield. “I just found these a couple of days ago. I had no idea … I never would have abandoned you like that, either one of you, if I had known,” he said, imploring her to believe him.
She threw him an ice-melting look. “So, my emails, phone calls, voice mails—everything—just disappeared into thin air and you never got anything,” she spat in disgust.
“I never got a single message from you after you left the hotel that day,” he said. “I tried to call you. I tried to text you too, but you never replied. And then a couple of weeks later, they cancelled all my old contact info once the Stargazer press tour was underway and the buzz started to grow,” he said, moving toward her.
“Had I known you were trying to contact me, I would have done everything I could to get to you. Just … I guess because of how things ended, I didn’t think you would ever want to talk to me again, especially when you didn’t reply to my phone calls and texts.” He dropped his eyes and hung his head. He held the envelopes up. “I found these locked away in Aaron’s office when I was looking for a script.”
“Convenient,” she said dismissively. “But I guess this is what I asked for in all of the letters—for you to actually decide to be a decent human being and come see your daughter. I just didn’t ever think you would do it after all these years.” She finished putting the last of the toys away in the plastic tub and slid it to the side of the house.
He walked over to her and stood in front of her, “Alex, I swear to you, I had no idea she existed. I would have dropped everything and been right at your side the moment I knew.”
“Then maybe it’s for the best you didn’t get the messages sooner. I definitely didn’t need someone like you to have my back,” she sneered. “So, what are you, in town scouting a location or something?”
“I’m here to meet Emma. I came as soon as I dealt with a few things, sorted out my schedule, and could book a flight here.”
“How long do you plan on staying?”
“I have one week before I have to head to Scotland for filming.”
She searched his face for a long moment then heaved a sigh.
“If you do this, if I introduce you to her as her father, you have to be present in her life. You can’t just show up right now and then disappear for who knows how long, doing who knows what, okay? She doesn’t need that, so you need to sort out whatever you need to and make sure that this little girl is your top priority. Do you understand? I won’t have her learning the harsh realities of people letting her down and breaking her heart at six years old.”
“I will! I promise, I will do whatever I have to do to make sure she comes first,” he said, knowing to the depths of his soul that he would.
“We can start by introducing you today. We will have to go over all the—”
Emma interrupted by poking her head out of the sliding door. “Mommy, I have congredients ready. It’s pancake time!” she shouted triumphantly.
“Okay, munchkin, let’s get to it,” she said, shooing Emma away from the door as she stepped inside. Emma poked her head around Alex and asked, “Are you going to help with PAAANNNCAKES?”
He grinned and started to walk toward the house, but hesitated. He didn’t want to overstep. “I don’t know. If your mom says it’s okay for me to help, then I can.” He looked to her and she gave a quick nod. “Looks like I am. How are you at flipping?”
“I’m getting better; now I can pretty much keep the pancake in the pan. Come on.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him past Alex on the way to the kitchen.
It was a homey kitchen with a breakfast bar. “I’m just going to head upstairs to change out of this wet stuff. I’ll be right back,” she said, bounding upstairs.
Emma had pulled all the ingredients out of the cabinets and fridge and arranged them precariously close to the edge of the counter. A small, low ledge that made it possible for Emma to reach the materials on the counter ran along the bottom cabinets.
“Here’s the pancake mix,” she said, handing him the big plastic container. “We need two scoops of that and we have to crack two eggs. I think you should crack them. The last time I tried, our pancakes were crunchy,” Emma said with her nose wrinkled. Alex came back downstairs and took her spot by the burners.
Gabe nodded along as Emma gave him directions. “And then we need one scoop of milk.” She turned to Alex, who was getting the griddle ready. “Mommy, do we have to make more because the man is staying? We have to make sure we have enough.”
“It’s okay, Munchkin. I’m not hungry. I’m sure there will be more than enough for everyone,” she said, grabbing the butter and flipped on the burners.
“And now the best part—chocolate chips,” Emma said with a mischievous grin.
Emma grabbed the bag and started to pour the chips into the measuring cup. “Emma, remember what I said last time? Only a half-scoop of chips because last time they were eighty percent chocolate.”
Emma stopped her pouring just a little over halfway at Alex’s admonishment. She gave a pout and he couldn’t contain his laugh. “All right, Mommy,” she said glumly before turning back to him.
“So, what is your name?” she asked as she started mixing the batter with a fork, causing flour to fly all over the place.
“My name is Gabe. It’s short for Gabriel.”
“Oh, that’s like my middle name, Gabrielle. Wow, that’s cool.” He turned to look at Alex as she attempted to blink back tears. She quickly turned away from him and went to wash her hands at the kitchen sink.
“That is really cool. So how old are you, Emma?”
“I’m six years old, but I’ll be seven next month. I’m going to have a My Little Pony party! So, who are you?” She glanced back and forth between them, biting her lip.
Alex made her way to Emma and dropped to one knee, so they were eye-to-eye. “Emma, remember when we talked about families and how some families are different from others?” Emma nodded her head. “And remember how I told you that sometimes kids have mommies and daddies and they don’t get to meet them? Well, now you get that chance. Gabriel is your daddy.”
“My daddy?” Emma’s eyes got wide as she looked up with him with such awe that it nearly broke his heart. His heart thudded and tears sprang to his eyes. He knelt, taking her little hands in his. “Yes, Emma, I’m your daddy. I’m so sorry I haven’t met you until now, but I’m so happy that I finally can.”
“You mean I have a daddy just like Terry and Sienna?” she said in disbelief.
“Yeah, just like them,” A
lex said, tears running down her face. She wiped her cheeks and Emma turned to him and threw her arms around his neck, squeezing so tight he thought she might hurt herself. He squeezed her back and began to rock her back and forth.
“Daddy, do you want to see my room?” Emma asked excitedly as she tugged on his hand to pull him toward the stairs. He turned back to Alex and she nodded and shooed him away. She turned back to the stove, grabbed the mixing bowl, and started to ladle out the batter.
Chapter 14
When Alex was sure they were upstairs, she finally broke down. Year and years of pent up tension, fear, anger, and hurt came crashing down onto her head all at once. She couldn’t have stopped it if she’d tried. She turned off the burners under the griddle and slid down the cabinets, clutched her knees to her chest, and tried to keep her sobs as quiet as possible.
This was the moment she had long since given up on happening. She was finally feeling complete confidence that she wouldn’t have to deal with Gabe when it came to Emma. She figured that maybe Emma would track him down when she was older, but she hadn’t thought that he would just pop up like this.
After Emma’s first birthday came and went without a word from him, she’d pretty much given up. The no-contact clause hadn’t been enough in her mind in the beginning. She thought that eventually he would come for Emma, and that scared her almost as much as the thought of raising Emma alone.
The nightmare was always the same. Someone would pull up in front of the house in a big black SUV. The windows were tinted and she couldn’t see who was inside. A hulking guy would come out of the driver’s side and walk around the back to open the door for a tall, slender woman in a bright red suit. She would be able to see him sitting in the backseat of the car, but he refused to look her way.
The woman would walk to the front door and hand her a giant stack of papers and then direct the driver to take Emma away from her. Her feet were always planted to the floor, unable to move as the man ripped Emma away from her, both of them screaming and shouting for one another. She would try desperately to pull her feet up from the ground to go after her baby. Emma would scream and cry and try to beat up on the driver before he threw her in the back of the car.
