by Ashlee Price
Her eyes closed at the feel of him penetrating her. It was unexpected but not unwelcomed. His arm was tight around her waist, the other one underneath her neck, pulling her closer for a kiss. He was too big, touching all of her at once, stretching her beyond what she thought was possible. She had never been so full and satisfied in her life, but then it was over and Mia knew she had to leave. It had been few moments of bad judgment and when she left, she didn’t say anything, waiting until he got in the shower after another morning session.
Every step away from him reminded her of what he could do. Calling a cab, she rode home with a smile and a grimace alternating as she squeezed her thighs together from the memories. He was not what she had expected, rougher one minute than she could handle, the next moment gentle, touching her as if she was made from glass. Her cheeks burned with the memories as she got out and paid.
Mia went to the shower first, sighing into the hot water as she rinsed off the man’s essence. Her whole body had felt sticky the whole way home, compounding the guilt she felt for being so wanton the night before. She wondered if the two men would talk. If they did, Mia was sure that Trevor would never let her hear the end of it.
She got out and laid down, sleeping the rest of the morning before she was awaken by her phone. She didn’t recognize the number so she didn’t answer it. Pushing it off, she went back to bed, her whole body still tender from the night before. Mia slipped back off to sleep and then finally woke up when it was time for her shift at the local hospital.
Mia was dragging, but she found her way there. When she turned her phone back on, there were several more calls, some from the same unknown number and then several from Trevor. She knew that she was going to have to talk to him eventually, but Mia couldn’t talk to him right then. If he knew somehow, she didn’t know how she was going to talk to him about it. Clint wouldn’t have said anything so quickly, would he?
Ignoring the calls from both of them, Mia made her way back to school. She had some things to work out in her head and she still wasn’t sure how she felt about what had happened. It was as close to a sexual awakening as she was probably ever going to get, but it was too much, Clint was too much. Mia needed some time away from the rodeo scene and the hard-muscled riders.
She went to work the next day, still not talking to Trevor. When she finally did talk to him it was the next evening and he was acting strange. There was something in his voice and Mia wasn’t sure what was going on. “What’s up Trevor?”
“You sound so calm.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because my dear friend Clint is over here with stars in his eyes. What did you do to him?”
“Trevor?” Her face was hot and pink-cheeked. She couldn’t believe that they were talking about it. It was never strange before to talk about other guys, but Clint was different in some way. “I don’t think we should be talking about this.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s weird.”
“It never was before. I just want to know what you did to him.”
Mia wasn’t going to answer. “We just hung out. Don’t you two have a competition tonight?”
“I do and Clint is all goo-goo eyed and isn’t going to make it three seconds on.”
She laughed a little. “He’ll be fine. So Ana is nice. I think you really picked a good one with her. When is the wedding?”
“Good change of subject, but I want to know what your intentions are with Clint.”
Mia shook her head. “I have no intentions Trevor. You know that. It was a one-off thing. You know I don’t like the brutish types.”
She heard him sigh on the other end. “I was afraid of that, though I did warn him.”
“What are you talking about? What did you warn him?”
“That you would break his heart.”
It wasn’t the first time she had heard that. “Ouch, am I really that bad?”
“Yes, but I don’t think you mean to be. Just give it a little distance, let him forget.”
Mia didn’t know what to say. She had not expected that, and when she hung up she blamed herself for being so callous with his friend. It was easier to not be there when he woke up, but she didn’t expect Trevor to get involved. He must mean a lot to him and that somehow made her feel even worse.
***
She was asked to stay away and give him time. Mia did exactly that, not seeing either one of them. It was hard to not see Trevor after all of her time away, but she didn’t want to make things worse. A month went by and she talked to him a couple of times, but he never invited her anywhere, so Mia figured her friend was still mad at her too. It was hard to deal with, the two of them only having a falling out when Trevor had hit on her and Mia had turned him down. Now it was like history replaying itself.
The longer she stayed away, the harder it was to see it changing. Then when she found out there was something else from her time with Clint, Mia needed her friend more than ever. But it was too complicated, too strange.
Mia was starting to show when Trevor called her out of the blue and told her that he was going to be in town. She wanted to see him, but she had been showing for over a month by then and Mia knew that he was going to see it. Her need to see him trumped the rest and she gave him her new address. When she saw him they hugged and then his visitor moved into the doorway and Mia stopped. “What is he doing here?”
She whispered the question in his ear as she took in Clint from over Trevor’s shoulder. Trevor pulled back and shrugged and then looked down at her middle. His eyes flicked to hers, asking her what he already knew was true. Mia pulled away from his grip and moved behind the countertop in the kitchen. “Would you guys like something to drink?”
Clint nodded. Trevor was still speechless and staring at her like she had grown a second head. “Trevor?”
“Yeah. Whatever you got Mia. So what’s new with you?”
Mia looked down and then went to the refrigerator. She had put on a sweatshirt to cover up her growing stomach, but Trevor had felt it and now he knew. “Not much, just been working at the hospital a lot more lately. How are the two of you doing? Haven’t seen you in a while.”
“It’s been busy. Trevor here is leading in points for the season. I think he might win it all.”
“Really? That’s great news Trevor.” She placed a couple of glasses in front of them. “What about you Clint?”
She met his eyes for only a second before looking down. “He’s dating Ana’s sister Tess.”
Her face fell and she didn’t see the look passed between the two men as she put the tea pitcher away. “Well that’s good. Is she as lovely as Ana?”
Clint nodded. “Good. Where are they? I was hoping to see Ana while you were here.”
“She is with her family. We finally set the date.”
“Oh? When?”
“Next month.”
“That’s fast.”
He nodded and she guessed why it was happening so fast. “Well congrats on both fronts. That’s awesome Trevor. I knew you always wanted to start a family.”
She was happy for him, truly, but the conversation made her nervous. He was giving her that look, like she needed to say something, but Mia didn’t want to. She knew she had to eventually, but not right then.
The three talked for a while and Trevor got a couple of beers. He made a point to ask why she wasn’t drinking. “I just don’t anymore. Too many things happen when I do. I have a tendency to lose my head.”
Trevor glanced at her then. She was standing behind the counter while the men were in the stools. She wanted to sit down, her nerves racked with present company and her friend’s need to make it worse. Mia figured he was still mad at her for hurting his friend Clint, but he was going far beyond what she would have expected. Why did he want her to tell him so much?
“Ana hates that she can’t drink right now. As soon as she found out she was pregnant, that was the first thing that she had to give up.”
Mia
cut him a glare and then excused herself to go to the bathroom. She went passed the one in the hallway and went through the master bedroom to the other one. Looking at herself through the mirror, she splashed water on her face and took a deep breath. She had prepared herself to talk to Trevor, not Clint. When she looked back up, the man that made her feel so crazy was standing at the doorway.
“Hey, I will just be a minute. There is another bathroom off the kitchen hallway.”
“Do you really have nothing to say to me? We have that night together and then radio silence for months.”
Clint was walking towards her and she forgot how big he was. “What do you want me to say? You are with someone now, it seems like you haven’t had that much trouble moving on.”
“I had to after you disappeared. He told me you would do that, but I thought we had something special.”
He stopped in front of her. “It was a nice night, but it’s best this way.”
Clint didn’t think it was. He had only agreed to dating Tess when Trevor wouldn’t leave him alone about moving on. Mia had changed him in some way and seeing her there, made him realize how much he had been fooling himself to think that anyone else but her would be enough. She had taken the flavor out of life and Clint desperately wanted it back.
Moving closer, he started to lean in and she dodged his lips. “We should get back out there. This is what made it awkward to begin with.”
“Is that how you feel? Awkward?”
She nodded, but looked at the hand on her arm. The stretch made her shirt pull tighter on her stomach and she saw the flash of recognition on her face. Clint let her go, but stopped her from leaving with his voice. “Are you?”
Mia sighed to herself and turned back around. “Yes.”
“Is it mine?”
“Yes.” Her voice was softer, less sure of herself.
“So you just weren’t going to tell me? Does Trevor know?”
Mia shook her head that he didn’t. “I haven’t seen my best friend in months after what happened with you. I don’t want to lose him again. So whatever happened with us, happened. It’s in the past.”
“Is it too late?”
She looked up at him finally, loving the way his dark eyes looked back. “Too late for what?”
“For you know, ending the pregnancy.”
Her heart sunk and she looked away. It was not what she had expected. It wasn’t the first time she had thought about telling him, trying to envision what he would say, how he would react. But she had not expected him to bring up terminating the pregnancy. It was her worst nightmare coming true.
“Yes, it’s too late to end my child.”
She walked out of there with her back straight, not able to look back at him. How could he even suggest it? He was probably worried about his career or his earnings. The idea just made her more upset and Trevor looked between the two of them for a few moments. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes, everything is fine. So tell me about the wedding Trevor. I haven’t seen you in ages.”
Her friend brightened up when he starting talking about Ana and Mia felt her chest tighten with the look of love in his eyes. She was happy for him, but wanted the same thing, knowing that it wasn’t going to happen. Mia tried not to let the sadness of what Clint said affect her, but she wanted them to leave so she could cry. The smile on her lips became painful, but she promised to see Trevor again soon. Ignoring Clint, Mia shut the door behind them and leaned back against the hard wood.
Chapter 5
Mia needed a change of scenery. When her mom, Carol, decided to move back east to Boston for a job, Mia decided to go with her and try to forget about everything that happened. She was close to having the baby when they finally got there and Mia took the time to get settled into her new apartment. She hadn’t talked to Trevor or Clint since their visit months before. After changing her phone number, it was easier to forget what Clint had said and how it made her feel.
“Mia, are you going to day dream all day?”
The sound of Carol’s voice made her take her gaze from the window. “Sorry, I was just thinking. That seems to be all I do. If I do much else I get worn out so quickly.”
“Because you are making a baby. That takes a lot out of you. I just wish that you would stay with me and Jeff. I don’t like the idea of you having the baby by yourself.”
Mia didn’t like the idea either, but she had no other choice. “It will be fine. I still have a couple of weeks before I am due. You are taking that week off still, right?”
Carol nodded and finished up painting the wall. The two had spent most of the morning finishing up the baby’s room. It was still weeks off, but Mia was feeling the nesting urge starting to kick in and she just wanted everything to be perfect for when her son arrived.
Her mom stayed until it was dark out and then went home to be with her fiancée. It gave Mia time to think and like most nights that she started thinking about things, her mind went to Clint and Trevor. She had missed her best friend’s wedding because she couldn’t bear to see Clint again. It was just too painful and though she wished it wasn’t the case, Mia doubted that she would see either one of them again. She had made it that way, forcing the decision and now she regretted it in some ways.
She went to sleep that night, hoping that she would not dream of Clint, but she did. The only thing that saved her from it was the phone next to her ringing. She looked at the clock and it was only about six in the morning. Her eyes were still blurry and she pushed the button to answer.
“Hello?”
“Mia.”
“Clint? What are you calling for?”
“Am I too late? You are not an easy person to get a hold of.”
“Too late for what, Clint? I told you I wasn’t going to terminate. It was too late last time we talked. Don’t worry Clint I won’t get in the way of your career. Why are you calling me so early in the morning?”
“I just found out where you were.”
“How?”
“I just got off the phone with your dad last night. I forgot about the time change.”
“You called my dad? What do you want?”
“Straight and to the point. That is what I always loved about you Mia. Have you had our baby yet?”
“No, why?”
“I want you, but it is clear that you don’t want me. There is our baby though. I want to be a part of their life.”
Mia’s eyes were open, her head less foggy than before. “After what happened last time, I didn’t think that you wanted to. I mean, you asked me if I would terminate our baby. So this is not what I had expected. You made it clear how you felt Clint.”
“No I didn’t. I was asking if you still could. I have had a woman pregnant before, a couple of years ago and she terminated right after she told me. Just like that, I had no say in it and I didn’t want to even think about it, until I knew that you were going to keep ’em.”
It made sense, but she still didn’t trust herself to get her hopes up. “I don’t know what to say Clint. I am really tired. Can we talk about this later? I will call in a few hours.”
“I will be waiting Mia. Just give me a call and I will stop by when you are ready to talk.”
“Stop by?”
“You didn’t think I was going to miss this, did you?”
Yeah, she kind of had been planning it for a while. “I will give you the address and you can just come by here.”
“No need. I already have it.”
“Fine, I guess I will see you later. Around noon?”
“Sounds good, Mia. I’ll bring lunch.”
He hung up after saying good bye, leaving her sitting up with a shocked look on her face. Mia kept telling herself she had to be dreaming. She was exhausted enough to go back to sleep and when she woke up several hours later, she was convinced that it had all just been a dream. It was too out of the blue and too much what she had always fantasized about hearing from him. Mia was kind of let down that it was only a
dream though.
She looked over and it was almost noon. Mia was not used to getting up so late, but she could have slept more. Getting up slowly, she was rubbing her face when there was a heavy knock on the door. Mia moved towards the door, figuring it was her mom. When she saw Clint, Mia took a step back. “It wasn’t a dream.”
“I hope not. Can I come in? I brought lunch.” He looked at her pajamas and smiled. “Or breakfast.”
Mia looked down at her fuzzy pants and T shirt. She could feel her hair a mess in a knot on her head. If she had envisioned seeing Clint again, it would not have been in such a way. “Yeah, I just thought I had a dream about talking to you. I didn’t really think you were going to show up.”
Her eyes drank him in. He looked really good, better than she remembered. His presence dominated the room as it always had and she was surprised to see the same desire in his depths as before. Even though she felt as big as a whale, Clint looked at her like he could ravish her that moment. Mia swallowed hard, moving towards the kitchen to get a couple plates.
“You look ready to burst Mia.”
“Thanks. That is the first thing I wanted to hear this morning.”
He grinned at her and she found his expression disarming. “I mean, I tried to imagine it, but you are glowing. I think you may be even more beautiful than before.”
“Yeah right, but good recovery. So you are actually here. What about work? It is mid-season.”
“I took some time off. I can’t believe how cold it is here already.”
Mia shrugged. “You get used to it I guess. The first winter here is always the worst, the snow, walking in it. I don’t look forward to that, but it’s not too bad.”
“You plan to stay here?”
“I don’t know. For now at least. Things were getting weird in Texas, so I figured a change of scenery would be a good thing.”
“And is it?”
“It is what it is.”
“I forgot, you’re the unromantic. Are you even the least bit happy to see me?”
“A little, but I look a mess and you are looking all handsome over there, it’s not fair. You should have given me some warning that you were coming.”
