by Joleen James
Rick pulled into his driveway. He walked over to Tawney's and knocked on the door.
It took a minute but then she asked, "Who's there?"
"Rick."
The lock clicked as it was thrown open.
"Rick," she said, her eyes filled with sympathy.
He hated that she felt sorry for him, her pity upped his agitation, but that didn't stop him from hugging her. Nothing had ever felt so good, so right. And then he was kissing her. He had to have her, be inside her.
The need for physical release driving him, he scooped her up, carrying her to the bedroom. He tossed her on the bed, following her down. Tawney reached for him, as hungry as he was for release.
He yanked off her pajama pants, then unzipped his fly, freeing his sex.
She moaned as he drove into her. Their mating was fast, frenzied, more an act of frustration than love.
He cried out as release found him, not even sure if she'd found any pleasure in what had just passed between them.
Shame washed over him.
He rolled off of her and began to dress.
"What are you doing?" She sat up, her eyes worried.
"I have to go," he said. "I'm heading to the airport. I have unfinished business in Seattle."
"What?" she said, the word filled with confusion. "Take me with you."
"No."
"Why?"
"I'm angry. I'm scared. This is something I need to do on my own. I'm not good for you or anyone in this frame of mind."
"But you haven't slept," she said. "This is crazy. You don't need to leave right now."
"It's done," he said. "Look, this isn't about you. I need to close this chapter in my life."
"Then go." She jumped up, going into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. "Leave. That's what you do best."
What was wrong with him? He was taking his anger and frustration out on Tawney. He knew it, yet was powerless to stop it.
"Tawney," he said at the bathroom door.
The shower came on. "Go away."
"I'm sorry." He turned away, and left the cottage, his heart a hard rock in his chest.
* * *
Tawney threw herself into her work.
She had to. The town was abuzz with the scandal Joey Malone had caused. People came to her classes at Karma Fitness to get a look at her, sure she was some kind of freak to cause two scandals in one month. Liv was over the moon. Business was booming thanks to Tawney's notoriety.
The whole situation made Tawney's heart ache.
She'd heard from Rick twice. Both times the calls had been stilted, guarded, and impersonal. She knew he was hurting, but so was she. Why wasn't he letting her in? He'd managed to break her heart a second time. What was wrong with her that all men could just walk away? She'd thought Rick was different, that he respected her. She even understood his need to have angry sex with her. Heck, she'd needed the release herself. She wanted him tell her everything was going to be all right.
He didn't.
She was done.
She was busy thinking about her next move, a trip to Canada to see Destiny, when Brandi walked into Karma Fitness.
"How you doing?" Brandi asked. She'd become Tawney's protector during all the drama, checking in with Tawney at least once a day, usually more.
"Just peachy," Tawney said. "What's up?"
"Have lunch with me?" Brandi asked, a hopeful lilt in her voice.
Tawney frowned.
"Don't say no," Brandi pleaded. "Please? Don't you see? You're letting the Destroyer win."
Her words struck Tawney like stones. "I don't what to hear I told you so, not now."
Brandi's eyes filled with compassion. "You are strong, T. You will get over him. Somewhere out there the right guy is waiting for you."
"For a moment I thought had the right guy," Tawney said. "That's what makes this so hard."
"You've thought that about Rick twice now," Brandi said.
"I guess I'm a slow learner." Tawney smiled, but inside her heart was sad, bruised.
"I wish I could think of something to say about him that would make you feel better, but I can't," Brandi said. "I knew from the get-go Rick would let you down. Don't you see it? When the going gets tough, Rick gets going."
"He's been through a lot," Tawney said. "OMG, I'm defending him. Not good." She shook her head. "I'm going to see Mom. I've looked into airfare."
Brandi eyes widened. "But you're coming back, right?"
"I don't know."
"No, you can't leave," Brandi said. "I just got you back. And Rick's gone."
"What if he comes back?" Tawney whispered. "I can't be in the same town with him. I'm humiliated, Brandi."
"Oh, honey." Brandi folded Tawney into her embrace. "You do what's right for you. If you want to visit Mom, I say go."
"Thanks." Tawney sniffed.
"You matter, T," Brandi said. "Don't you ever forget that."
"I won't," Tawney said. "I promise."
* * *
Rick sat at Phil's desk, going over case notes. All the pieces were in place now. One of Tony's dealers, Adam Jones, had been picked up on a drug charge by the detectives working the case a couple of months ago. To save his own skin, Adam had hinted he had information on the Tony Malone/Angie Redmond case. After some prodding, Adam admitted to telling Tony that Angie had been seen with a cop. He'd recognized Rick from a previous drug bust. Adam had put two and two together.
According to Adam's statement, both Tony and Joey had been at the warehouse that day. Tony had threatened to kill Angie's son unless she gave up the name of her contact in the police department. Left with no choice, Angie had given up Rick, confirming everything that Adam had told Tony.
Joey had shot Angie the second she'd delivered the information. Afraid he'd be shot next; Adam had taken off, Joey hot on his trail. But Adam was fast. He'd given Joey the slip. Sometime during all of this, Rick had entered the warehouse. He felt certain now that he had heard arguing, whether it had been Tony and Joey, or Tony and Adam, he had no clue.
Adam had given Joey up in exchange for a plea bargain, only Adam would never testify because he'd been killed in a hit and run two weeks ago. The detectives liked Joey for the hit and run and were working to pin that murder on him.
Records proved that Joey had returned to Mexico immediately following Tony's death. Rick guessed Joey had been biding his time, waiting for things to cool down. He'd reentered the States three days before Adam Jones had been killed.
Bottom line was Joey had killed Angie. He'd also attempted to murder both Rick and Phil to avenge his brother's death. He'd threatened Tawney and most likely had killed Adam Jones. Without a witness, the detectives working the case had a lot to prove, and Rick was happy to leave the police work to them.
He also had Phil's statement. Rose had found the document inserted into another file. A product of overwork on her part. She'd apologized to Rick profusely, even after he'd assured her no apology was necessary. He was simply glad to have closure.
Rick popped an antacid. He'd almost gotten Tawney killed. He should have known better than to take her to the cabin. Where were his instincts? He'd suspected that he may have been a target. He should have been more alert. Instead he'd run away like a little girl, taking Tawney with him, placing her in danger.
Hell, he didn't deserve Tawney, yet more than anything he wanted a third chance to do things right. And he knew why.
He'd fallen in love with her. Not her face. Not her body. He'd fallen in love with her soul.
"Hello, Rick."
"Marion." Rick stood.
Marion Best, the department shrink. He'd spent a lot of time in her office after Angie's death. She'd done her best to get him to open up, but he'd been a closed book, not wanting to share the trauma of that day with anyone.
"I heard you were here," Marion said, pointing to a chair. "May I sit?"
"Be my guest."
"How are you?" she asked. There was no judgment in her eyes, jus
t compassion.
"Been better," he admitted, resuming his seat.
"I hear you've been through another trauma. Want to talk about it?" she asked.
He considered her offer. Before his answer had been no. Didn't he owe it to Tawney to do everything in his power to make himself whole again?
"I'm a good listener," she coaxed.
"Okay," Rick said. "Yeah, I think I'm ready to confront my demons."
"Great."
Rick started talking. He held nothing back. Marion listened, helping him come up with a plan for dealing with memories or stressful situations. She also supplied him with the name of a counselor he could contact in Anchorage. After she left him, he wondered why he'd been so stubborn before. If only he'd been open to getting help sooner.
He'd been indulging in a one-person pity party for too long. He had his answers about the night Angie died, for all the good they did him. His life in Seattle was over.
Everything he wanted was in Alaska.
The woman he loved was in Alaska.
It was time to go home.
* * *
Tawney made it to the ticket counter at Anchorage Airport before she realized she couldn't leave.
She was running away, giving Rick the power. The pattern of her life kept repeating itself. She had to break the cycle. She loved her life in Seward. Loved her job. Loved being near her sisters, her extended family. She had people here. Why was she letting Rick run her out of town when he wasn't even here?
Where were her guts?
Tawney pivoted, first walking, then running out of the airport. She made her way to her car. As soon as she was on the road, she called Brandi, telling her sister of her change of heart, making plans to meet her at Finnegan's at six for a celebratory dinner.
When she pulled into the garage at the cottage she truly felt like she was coming home. She was going to be okay, she knew that now. Quickly she sent Brandi a text and let her know she'd arrived safely and would be there soon.
Optimism fueled Tawney as she put her key in the lock.
Inside, she breathed in the scent of the musty air, a scent that had come to mean home for her.
Tawney went into the bedroom and tossed her suitcase onto the bed.
The blue ring box sat on her pillow.
Tawney heard a primal sound, then realized the wounded cry had come from her, was still coming from her.
"No!" She bolted from the bed. "Damn it, no!"
She ran to the kitchen for her gun but didn't see her purse.
"Looking for this?"
Tawney spun around.
Fox Lassiter held her bag in one hand, her pistol in the other.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Rick walked into Finnegan's, taking a seat at the counter.
He'd hit town an hour ago. In that space of time he'd gone to Tawney's, but her place had been locked, no one home. Disappointed, he'd gone over to Karma Fitness, only to learn from Liv that Tawney had left for Canada. She'd gone to see her mother and had given Liv no return date.
Sick at heart, Rick had been unable to go home. If he looked out the window, he'd see her cottage. And he sure as hell couldn't go to the cabin. He'd see Tawney everywhere. The place probably still smelled like her. Their wine glasses would be next to the bed, the remnants of their day together everywhere.
He had nowhere to go.
"Coffee, Rick?" asked the waitress.
"Sure." He watched her fill the mug. "Thanks, Meg."
There was only one place he could go. Canada. He had to go, beg Tawney for forgiveness for shutting her out of his life, and bring her back where she belonged.
Having made the decision, he felt better, lighter. There was only one problem; he didn't know exactly where she was. He needed to talk to Brandi. Not his number one fan. He'd have to win her over first. And it wouldn't be easy. She was a tough cookie and a total mother bear when it came to Tawney.
"What are you doing here?"
He swiveled around. Brandi stood behind him, her hands on her hips.
"Brandi." He smiled. Things were finally going his way. "I was just heading over to your place."
"Why?" she asked, the word flat.
"I need to find Tawney. I have to explain."
"You're too late," Brandi said. "She's done with you. You burned her twice. How dumb do you think she is?"
"Technically, I didn't burn her the second time," Rick said. "I just needed to get my head on straight. Going to Seattle had nothing to do with her and everything to do with trusting myself, my judgment. I needed answers, closure, and I got them."
"And you couldn’t tell her that over the phone? She told me about your conversations. You gave her zero hope."
He cringed. "You're right. I couldn't talk to Tawney. At the time, I didn't have anything left inside to give her."
"Blah, blah, blah," Brandi said. "Cry me a river." She turned away.
"Wait." He jumped off the stool, grabbing her arm.
She looked down at his hand.
He let go of her. "Please, tell me where I can find her. I know I don't deserve her, but I love her."
She raised one dark brow. "You love her?"
"With all my heart."
Brandi blew out a breath. "I'm not sure I believe you."
"I promise. I'm going to spend the rest of my life making her happy. We both need a fresh start."
Brandi pursed her lips together. "I don't know."
"Please."
"Okay, okay," Brandi said. "I hope I don't regret this. She's due here any minute. She changed her mind. She didn't get on the plane. We are meeting here for dinner. In fact, I thought she'd be here fifteen minutes ago."
Rick grabbed Brandi, planting a big kiss on her forehead. "Thank you! I owe you."
"Don't make me sorry," Brandi said. "Or you will regret it. I promise."
Rick didn't wait to hear more. He was going to find the woman he loved.
* * *
"Fox," Tawney said. She pressed a hand to her stomach, swallowing hard to keep from vomiting. "What are you doing here?"
He hadn't changed in the time she'd been gone. He wore a dark suit and a crisp white shirt, totally wrong for this town. His head was still clean-shaven, as was his face. His trademark diamond studs winked at her from both ears.
"It's a free country," Fox said. He set her purse on the sofa, then put her gun in the breast pocket of his suit jacket. "You didn't show for your court date. The restraining order has been dropped." He touched his heart. "You wounded me, Tawney. I just wanted you to give me a chance. It's why I’m here. I want you to know how devoted I am to you."
"Maybe if you didn't use intimidation to woo a woman you'd have better luck." Was that really her talking trash to him? She was crazy.
He took a menacing step toward her. "You are a hard woman to find. You covered your tracks well."
She didn't say anything. Instead she took mental inventory of anything she could use as a weapon, kitchen knives, metal lamp on the end table, the marble paperweight on the desk.
"Pity your own mother gave you away."
She gasped.
Fox laughed. "That's right, it was Destiny. Oh, don't look so shocked. She didn't call me directly, but she did call an old friend of hers to fill her in on the latest family doings. That friend owed me a favor. Information was passed on."
Sal. Why couldn't her mother keep her mouth shut?
Tawney edged toward the desk, to the paperweight.
"Did you know that your mother and I were intimate once upon a time?" Fox smiled. "I supposed that’s one of the reasons I'm so taken with you."
"Yuck," Tawney said, the word popping out of her mouth before she could stop it.
Fox ran a hand over his bald head. "Yes, well, I can see the idea doesn't sit well with you."
"What do you want, Fox?" she asked. "I told you I'm not interested, so unless you’re here to rape me or murder me, I don't understand what you want. I've told you no. No!"
A
recklessness born of anger and exasperation took hold of her. She was done being a victim. She had nothing to lose and everything to gain by seeing an end to her twisted encounters with Fox.
"Why do you keep returning my ring?" he asked. "Well, technically you didn't return it the last time. Gave me hope for a moment, but then it turned up in a pawn shop."
"You can't buy me," she said. "If you want the money back, I'll give it to you. I haven't spent that much."
He laughed, the sound sinister. "I don't want the money."
"I will never be with you. I love someone else."
His brows drew together. "Hmm, yes. Your neighbor."
"How do you know about him?" she asked, and then it came to her. Destiny. "He's a police officer."
Fox laughed. "As if that matters. I can give you everything, Tawney. Why can't you see that?"
"Things don’t matter," Tawney said. "Love matters. Family matters."
"You've never given me a chance." Fox advanced on her. "How is that fair?"
"You can't buy me," Tawney said. "I'm never going back to Vegas. I belong here. I won't let you take this life from me. You've taken enough already and I've worked too hard to get where I am. I'm not your victim, not anymore. I'd rather be dead than live in fear one day longer." She bumped up against the desk.
Fox stopped in front of her. The breast pocket of his jacket bulged with her gun.
Tawney reached behind her and locating the paperweight, she brought it up, aiming for his head. Fox caught her wrist, using her arm to twist her around, her back now against his chest.
"You are so beautiful, even in anger." He kissed the side of her face.
"Let me go." Tawney struggled, trying to get her feet in position for a step back or kick. He'd pushed one of his feet between hers, pinning the front of her legs against the desk.
He laughed. "Settle down, although I do like a good fight. I can see that the only way to have you would be to force you and as much as that excites me, I've never forced myself on any woman. I had to see you one last time, make sure you couldn't be persuaded. I love the chase, and you led me on a merry one."
What? Had she heard him right?
"I'm not a monster, Tawney. I'm going to let you go," he said. "I liked your mother. It's out of respect for Destiny that I'm going to walk away and take my ring with me. So you see, my dear, your mother actually did you a favor."
