by B. J Daniels
The cake was a little harder to nail, according to Tag. Jackson mentally shook his head at even the memory of his brother discussing wedding cakes with him. Apparently, there were cake designs resembling hats and boots, covered wagons and cowhide, lassoes and lariats, spurs and belt buckles and horses and saddles. Some cakes had a version of all of them, which he could just imagine would have thrown his brother for a loop, he thought now, grinning to himself.
“I like simple better,” Lily had said when faced with all the options. “It’s the mathematician in me.”
Allie had apparently kept looking until she found what she thought might be the perfect one. It was an elegant white, frosted, tiered cake with white roses and ribbons in a similar design as Lily’s Western wedding dress.
“I love it,” Lily had gushed. “It’s perfect.”
They decided on white roses and daisies for her bouquet. Bouquets of daisies would be on each of the tables, the vases old boots, with the tables covered with red-checked cloths and matching napkins.
Jackson’s gaze returned to Allie. She seemed to glow under the compliments, giving him a glimpse of the self-assured woman he suspected she’d been before the tragedy.
“Jackson?”
He turned to find Tag standing next to him, grinning.
“I guess you didn’t hear me. Must have had your mind somewhere else.” Tag glanced in Allie’s direction and then wisely jumped back as Jackson took a playful swing at him as they left the barn.
“You sure waited until the last minute,” Jackson said to his brother as they headed for Tag’s vehicle. “Putting off the rings...” He shook his head. “You sure you want to go through with this?”
His brother laughed. “More sure than I have been about anything in my life. Come on, let’s go.”
“I’ll see if Ford wants to come along,” Jackson said. “I think that’s enough cowboying for one day.”
But when he reached the corral, he found his son wearing a straw Western hat and atop a huge horse. Jackson felt his pulse jump at the sight and his first instinct was to insist Ford get down from there right away.
But when he got a good look at his son’s face, his words died on a breath. He’d never seen Ford this happy. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes bright. He looked...proud.
“Look at me,” he called to his father.
All Jackson could do was nod as his son rode past him. He was incapable of words at that moment.
“Don’t worry about your son,” his father said as he joined him at the corral fence. “I’ll look after him until you get back.”
* * *
ALLIE LISTENED TO Jackson and Tag joking with each other as they left the barn. Jackson Cardwell must think her the most foolish woman ever, screaming over nothing more than a cat, messing up her date book and panicking because she’d misplaced her purse.
But what had her still upset was the hug. It had felt so good to be in Jackson’s arms. It had been so long since anyone had held her like that. She’d felt such an overwhelming need...
And then Drew had seen them. She’d been surprised by the look on his face. He’d seemed...angry and upset as if she was cheating on Nick. Once this investigation was over, maybe they could all put Nick to rest. In the meantime, she just hoped Drew didn’t go to his mother with this.
Instinctively, she knew that Jackson wouldn’t say anything. Not about her incidents or about the hug.
Dana announced she was taking the kids down to the house for naptime. Allie could tell that Nat had wanted to go down to the house—but for lemonade and cookies. Nat probably needed a nap, as well, but Allie couldn’t take her up to the cabin right now. She had work to do if she hoped to have the barn ready for the rehearsal dinner tomorrow night.
“I really need your help,” she told her daughter. Nat was always ready to give a helping hand. Well, she was before the Cardwell Ranch and all the animals, not to mention other kids to play with.
“Okay, Mama.” She glanced back at the barn door wistfully, though. Nat had always wanted brothers and sisters, but they hadn’t been in Allie’s plans. She knew she could take care of one child without any help from Nick. He’d wanted a boy and insisted they try for another child soon after Nat was born.
Allie almost laughed. Guilt? She had so much of it where Nick and his family were concerned. She had wanted to enjoy her baby girl so she’d gone on the pill behind Nick’s back. It had been more than dishonest. He would have killed her if he had found out. The more time that went by, the less she wanted another child with her husband so she’d stayed on the pill. Even Nick’s tantrums about her not getting pregnant were easier to take than having another child with him.
She hadn’t even told Belinda, which was good since her friend was shocked when she told her she was leaving Nick and moving far away.
“Divorcing him is one thing,” Belinda had said. “But I don’t see how you can keep his kid from him or keep Nat from his family.”
“Nick wanted a son. He barely takes notice of Nat. The only time he notices her is when other people are around and then he plays too rough with her. When she cries, he tells her to toughen up.”
“So you’re going to ask for sole custody? Isn’t Nick going to fight you?”
Allie knew it would be just like Nick to fight for Nat out of meanness and his family would back him up. “I’m going to move to Florida. I’ve already lined up a couple of jobs down there. They pay a lot more than here. I really doubt Nick will bother flying that far to see Nat—at least more than a few times.”
“You really are going to leave him,” Belinda had said. “When?”
“Soon.” That had been late summer. She’d desperately wanted a new start. Nick would be occupied with hunting season in the fall so maybe he wouldn’t put up much of a fight.
Had Belinda said something to Nick? Or had he just seen something in Allie that told him he had lost her?
“How can I help you, Mama?” Nat asked, dragging her from her thoughts.
Allie handed her daughter one end of a rope garland adorned with tiny lights in the shape of boots. “Let’s string this up,” she suggested. “And see how pretty it looks along the wall.”
Nat’s eyes lit up. “It’s going to be beautiful,” she said. Beautiful was her latest favorite word. To her, most everything was beautiful.
Allie yearned for that kind of innocence again—if she’d ever had it. But maybe she could find it for her daughter. She had options. She could find work anywhere as a wedding planner, but did she want to uproot her daughter from what little family she had? Nat loved her Uncle Drew and Sarah could be very sweet. Mildred, even as ungrandmotherly as she was, was Nat’s only grandmother.
Allie tried to concentrate on her work. The barn was taking shape. She’d found tiny cowboy boot lights to put over the bar area. Saddles on milk cans had been pulled up to the bar for extra seating.
Beverages would be chilling in a metal trough filled with ice. Drinks would be served in Mason jars and lanterns would hang from the rafters for light. A few bales of hay would be brought in around the bandstand.
When they’d finished, Allie plugged in the last of the lights and Nat squealed with delight.
She checked her watch. “Come on,” she told her daughter. “We’ve done enough today. We need to go into town for a few things. Tomorrow your aunt Megan will be coming to help.” Nat clapped in response. She loved her auntie Megan, Allie’s half sister.
After Allie’s mother died, her father had moved away, remarried and had other children. Allie had lost touch with her father, as well as his new family. But about a year ago, her stepsister Megan had found her. Ten years younger, Megan was now twenty-three and a recent graduate in design. When she’d shown an interest in working on the Cardwell Ranch wedding, Allie had jumped at it.
“I really c
ould use the help, but when can you come down?” Megan lived in Missoula and had just given her two weeks’ notice at her job.
“Go ahead and start without me. I’ll be there within a few days of the wedding. That should be enough time, shouldn’t it?”
“Perfect,” Allie had told her. “Natalie and I will start. I’ll save the fun stuff for you.” Natalie loved Megan, who was cute and young and always up for doing something fun with her niece.
The thought of Megan’s arrival tomorrow had brightened Natalie for a moment, but Allie now saw her looking longingly at the Savage house.
“How about we have something to eat while we’re in Bozeman?” Allie suggested.
Nat’s eyes widened with new interest as she asked if they could go to her favorite fast-food burger place. The Taylors had introduced her daughter to fast food, something Allie had tried to keep at a minimum.
But this evening, she decided to make an exception. She loved seeing how happy her daughter was. Nat’s cheeks were pink from the fresh air and sunshine.
All the way into town, she talked excitedly about the horses and the other kids. This wedding planner job at Cardwell Ranch was turning out to be a good thing for both of them, Allie thought as they drove home.
By the time they reached the cabin Nat had fallen asleep in her car seat and didn’t even wake up when Allie parked out front. Deciding to take in the items she’d purchased first, then bring in her daughter, Allie stepped into the cabin and stopped dead.
At the end of the hall, light flickered. A candle. She hadn’t lit a candle. Not since Nick. He liked her in candlelight. The smell of the candle and the light reminded her of the last time they’d had sex. Not made love. They hadn’t made love since before Natalie was born.
As she started down the hallway, she told herself that she’d thrown all the candles away. Even if she’d missed one, she wouldn’t have left a candle burning.
She stopped in the bedroom doorway. Nick’s shirt was back, spread on the bed as if he were in it, lying there waiting for her. The smell of the sweet-scented candle made her nauseous. She fought the panicked need to run.
“Mama?” Nat’s sleepy voice wavered with concern. “Did Daddy come back?” Not just concern. Anxiety. Nick scared her with his moodiness and surly behavior. Nat was smart. She had picked up on the tension between her parents.
Allie turned to wrap her arms around her daughter. The warmth of her five-year-old, Nat’s breath on her neck, the solid feel of the ground under her feet, those were the things she concentrated on as she carried Natalie down the hallway to her room.
Her daughter’s room had always been her haven. It was the only room in the house that Nick hadn’t cared what she did with. So she’d painted it sky-blue, adding white floating clouds, then trees and finally a river as green and sunlit as the one out Nat’s window.
Nick had stuck his head in the door while she was painting it. She’d seen his expression. He’d been impressed—and he hadn’t wanted to be—before he snapped, “You going to cook dinner or what?” He seemed to avoid the room after that, which was fine with her.
Now, she lay down on the bed with Nat. It had been her daughter’s idea to put stars on the ceiling, the kind that shone only at night with the lights out.
“I like horses,” Nat said with a sigh. “Ms. Savage says a horse can tell your mood and that if you aren’t in a good one, you’ll get bucked off.” She looked at her mother. “Do you think that’s true?”
“I think if Ms. Savage says it is, then it is.”
Nat smiled as if she liked the answer.
Allie could tell she was dog-tired, but fighting sleep.
“I’m going to ride Rocket tomorrow,” Natalie said.
“Rocket? That sounds like an awfully fast horse.” She saw that Nat’s eyelids had closed. She watched her daughter sleep for a few moments, then eased out of bed.
After covering her, she opened the window a few inches to let the cool summer night air into the stuffy room. Spending time with her daughter made her feel better, but also reminded her how important it was that she not let anyone know about the things that had been happening to her.
She thought of Jackson Cardwell and the black cat that had somehow gotten into her box of decorations. She hadn’t imagined that. She smiled to herself. Such a small thing and yet...
This time, she went straight to her bedroom, snuffed out the candle and opened the window, thankful for the breeze that quickly replaced the sweet, cloying scent with the fresh night air.
On the way out of the room, she grabbed Nick’s shirt and took both the shirt and the candle to the trash, but changed her mind. Dropping only the candle in the trash, she took the shirt over to the fireplace. Would burning Nick’s favorite shirt mean she was crazy?
Too bad, she thought as she dropped the shirt on the grate and added several pieces of kindling and some newspaper. Allie hesitated for only a moment before lighting the paper with a match. It caught fire, crackling to life and forcing her to step back. She watched the blaze destroy the shirt and reached for the poker, determined that not a scrap of it would be left.
She had to get control of her life. She thought of Jackson Cardwell and his kindness. He had no idea how much it meant to her.
As she watched the flames take the last of Nick’s shirt, she told herself at least this would be the last she’d see of that blamed shirt.
Chapter Five
Jackson met Hayes and Laramie at the airport, but while it was good to see them, he was distracted.
They talked about the barbecue restaurant and Harlan and the wedding before McKenzie showed up while they were waiting for their luggage to pick up Hayes. Hayes had been in Texas tying up things with the sale of his business.
Jackson had heard their relationship was serious, but seeing McKenzie and Hayes together, he saw just how serious. Another brother falling in love in Montana, he thought with a shake of his head. Hayes and McKenzie would be joining them later tonight at the ranch for dinner.
He and Laramie ended up making the drive to Cardwell Ranch alone. Laramie talked about the financial benefits of the new barbecue restaurant and Jackson tuned him out. He couldn’t get his mind off Allie Taylor.
Maybe it was because he’d been through so much with his ex, but he felt like a kindred spirit. The woman was going through her own private hell. He wished there was something he could do.
“Are you listening?” Laramie asked.
“Sure.”
“I forget how little interest my brothers have in the actual running of this corporation.”
“Don’t let it hurt your feelings. I just have something else on my mind.”
“A woman.”
“Why would you say that, knowing me?”
Laramie looked over at him. “I was joking. You swore off women after Juliet, right? At least that’s what you... Wait a minute, has something changed?”
“Nothing.” He said it too sharply, making his brother’s eyebrow shoot up.
Laramie fell silent for a moment, but Jackson could feel him watching him out of the corner of his eye.
“Is this your first wedding since...you and Juliet split?” Laramie asked carefully.
Jackson shook his head at his brother’s attempt at diplomacy. “It’s not the wedding. There’s this...person I met who I’m worried about.”
“Ah. Is this person—”
“It’s a woman, all right? But it isn’t like that.”
“Hey,” Laramie said, holding up his hands. “I just walked in. If you don’t want to tell me—”
“She lost her husband some months ago and she has a little girl the same age as Ford and she’s struggling.”
Laramie nodded. “Okay.”
“She’s the wedding planner.”
His
brother’s eyebrow shot up again.
“I’ll just be glad when this wedding is over,” Jackson said and thought he meant it. “By the way, when is Mom flying in?” At his brother’s hesitation, he demanded, “What’s going on with Mom?”
* * *
ALLIE HAD UNPACKED more boxes of decorations by the time she heard a vehicle pull up the next morning. Natalie, who had been coloring quietly while her mother worked, went running when she spotted her aunt Megan. Allie smiled as Megan picked Nat up and swung her around, both of them laughing. It was a wonderful sound. Megan had a way with Natalie. Clearly, she loved kids.
“Sorry I’m so late, but I’m here and ready to go to work.” Megan was dressed in a T-shirt, jeans and athletic shoes. She had taken after their father and had the Irish green eyes with the dark hair and complexion. She was nothing short of adorable, sweet and cute. “Wow, the barn is already looking great,” she exclaimed as she walked around, Natalie holding her hand and beaming up at her.
“I helped Mama with the lights,” Nat said.
“I knew it,” Megan said. “I can see your handiwork.” She grinned down at her niece. “Did I hear you can now ride a horse?”
Natalie quickly told her all about the horses, naming each as she explained how to ride a horse. “You have to hang on to the reins.”
“I would imagine you do,” Megan agreed.
“Maybe you can ride with us,” Nat suggested.
“Maybe I can. But right now I need to help your mom.”
Just then Dana stuck her head in the barn doorway and called to Natalie. Allie introduced Dana to her stepsister, then watched as her daughter scurried off for an afternoon ride with her friends. She gave a thankful smile to Dana as they left.
“Just tell me what to do,” Megan said and Allie did, even more thankful for the help. They went to work on the small details Allie knew Megan would enjoy.
Belinda stopped by to say hello to Megan and give Allie an update on the photos. She’d met with Lily that morning, had made out a list of photo ideas and sounded excited.
