“And you thought I wouldn’t kill you for this?” I asked him.
“But why would you believe a peasant over your own brother?” he asked me.
“You are not my brother,” I hissed.
There was a shuffling in the hallway, but the door was closed and locked. We would deal with whomever was out there later. “But I am, Havard. Our father—”
I lifted my sword, glowing now with battle lust, and beheaded him, stepping back just as the lifeless head fell near my feet. I grabbed a blanket from his bed and wiped the blood off my boot then motioned to the door. “Let’s deal with them and get out of here. Arnbjorg is probably used to rising early and I want to show her around Asgard.”
Yngvarr nodded and threw the door open, finding two more of our half-brothers with brandished swords but they backed against a wall when they saw us, realizing if they tried to fight us, they would meet the same fate as their brother. “His death was justified. He lied to Havard and sent him to seek vengeance against an innocent human. If you try to avenge your brother’s death, it will be unjust,” Yngvarr warned them.
They glanced in the room behind us then down the hall where their mother’s wailing continued. She was giving me a headache. One of Leifr’s brothers, his oldest brother, finally lowered his sword and took a deep breath. “It’s settled then. You have no more business here.”
I had heard all I wanted to hear from them, and I left that palace with Yngvarr closely behind me, feeling only somewhat vindicated in Leifr’s death, because while the disloyalty of this bastard brother of mine had been avenged, I was returning home to a girl who knew now that I understood she shouldn’t have to stay here, but I was unwilling to let her go. No matter how well I treated her, no matter what promises I made her, I had taken her from her family to live with me, to try to convince her to love me, and I had a sickening premonition that would never be possible.
Chapter Eleven
Gavyn.” Keira called my name again, her soft hands pressed gently against the sides of my face and I blinked a few times as I remembered her voice, where I was, who I was with. I inhaled quickly and looked around me: the mock fights continued in the field beyond us, but everyone who had been around me when I’d become lost in some trance or memory was gathered near me, watching me with so much concern.
Tyr exhaled in relief as he put a hand on my shoulder. “What happened?” he asked.
I shook my head. I had no clue what had just happened. “How long was I out of it?” I asked, swiping a hand across my eyes that felt heavy and tired now.
“Almost half an hour,” Keira answered.
I glanced at Hunter and immediately wished I hadn’t. His dark brown eyes were round and scared. I smiled weakly at him. “I’m all right, buddy,” I assured him. But I didn’t feel all right.
Frey took my arm and told me we should get back to the hotel because I didn’t look all right, and I didn’t argue. I even let him lead me to the car like I couldn’t walk on my own, but it was even more difficult to disentangle my mind from this memory of Havard and Asgard than when I dreamed about it. I kept looking around me, expecting to see those rolling green hills or fields of barley waiting to be harvested, those orchards ripe with plump apples, enormous palaces gleaming in the sunlight. And I shocked the hell out of myself by wanting to return there, to find out how Arnbjorg reacted when Havard reached his palace and offered to show her around her new land, to see if he had been right: if she hated him and couldn’t possibly ever love him.
I couldn’t help it. I had experienced this young god’s emotions in my dreams as my own, but it was amplified now by being pulled into one of his memories while I was awake, and I wasn’t even sure where his feelings about Leifr or Arnbjorg ended and mine began.
Even though we’d taken two cars to get here, everyone wanted to ride with me now, which led to an argument outside of Keira’s car, but I didn’t stand around to listen. I opened the back door and climbed in, slamming it behind me. Hunter immediately went to the other side of the car and got in with me.
“What the hell was that?” he asked quietly, his voice shaky. I wished more than ever I could just send him home, but I knew now if those Sumerians figured out who I was, then everyone I loved could be in danger. We’d have to get my father out of Baton Rouge as well.
“It was like one of those dreams. Only more real, which I hadn’t thought was possible. It felt like I was actually there, seeing everything through Havard’s eyes.”
The driver’s side door opened and Keira got in, twisting in her seat so she could see me. “I knew you’d been pulled into some memory, but I think maybe I was wrong about something.”
I lifted my eyebrows in surprise that Keira was admitting to being wrong about anything but waited for her to explain.
“I don’t know how much Havard is actually controlling these memories. I thought maybe he was trying to help you, but to overpower you like that while you’re awake… that’s not characteristic of a spirit helping his descendant.”
“Yeah, well, maybe he’s just an asshole,” I mumbled.
Keira’s luminous blue eyes were still on me and I forced myself to look outside the window so I wouldn’t see her. Frey and Tyr were still arguing. Both of them wanted to hear what I’d seen in this latest vision so neither of them wanted to drive the other car back to the hotel.
“Or maybe they’re being caused by something else,” Keira offered.
“Like what?” Hunter asked. I wouldn’t look at him either. His voice assured me he was still bordering on a nervous breakdown, and I just wanted to get him back to the hotel and drunk.
“I’m not sure—” But Keira couldn’t finish because Frey had apparently won the argument. He practically flew into the passenger’s seat and immediately asked me exactly what I’d seen and experienced and to once again include even the details of how it all made me feel.
I watched Tyr yank the other car’s door open and dump his massive body angrily into the driver’s seat. “This could wait until we get back to the hotel so Tyr can hear it, too.”
Frey shook his head at me and some of those blond curls fell across his forehead again. I couldn’t help wondering why he didn’t just get a damn haircut.
“I need to know right away. Something in this vision may help Freyja. And like Gunnr…” He paused to glance between us. “Sorry. Keira. Like Keira told you, Freyja is much more skilled at this sort of thing than any of us. If we need to get her over here, we will.”
Keira chose that moment to start the car and peeled out of the field. I had to grab onto the oh-shit handle above me to keep myself from flying into Hunter. I really needed to remember to wear my seatbelt, especially with her or Agnes driving.
Frey told her something in Norwegian or Norse or whatever the hell they spoke, and Keira argued with him. I finally looked at Hunter who was rubbing the side of his head. Apparently, his reflexes were slower and he hadn’t had a chance to grab on to anything; he’d hit his head on the passenger window next to him. I smiled at him and told him when we got back to the hotel, Tyr would kiss it for him.
“Can’t one of you learn how to drive?” he asked bitterly.
Keira mumbled an apology over her shoulder.
Frey used the lull in their argument to turn to me again and ask me about this memory I’d just relived in their practice field. Even though I still didn’t want to talk about it, I humored him but I hadn’t gotten far when both he and Keira gasped and I stopped.
“What?” I asked. Keira had slowed down and I could hear Tyr honking at us as he followed impatiently behind us.
Frey’s green-blue eyes sparkled with excitement and I no longer wanted to share this story at all. “We know Yngvarr. He doesn’t have a brother though. At least, not one anyone knows about.”
I swallowed something bitter and acrid. “Does he have three sisters?” I think my voice may have squeaked a little again and I wanted to get Hunter’s attention for confirmation, but I was too embarrassed.
Frey nodded. “Yes. There are many gods in Asgard, Gavyn, so we don’t know them all well, but we can ask Freyja to go see Yngvarr, find out what happened to his parents.”
I sighed and closed my eyes. “He’s not going to believe us. And why should he?”
Keira’s voice answered me but I didn’t even want to look at her, so I kept my eyes closed. “Because everyone in Asgard knows about you, Gavyn. And if he thinks he can help you, he will.”
“Wouldn’t it be easier to just take me to Asgard?” I asked. Not that I really wanted to go—in fact, now that the memory was fading and I was reclaiming my own feelings, I wanted to be there less than I wanted to be in Iceland—but I didn’t expect them to take me to their homeland anyway.
But Frey forced me to open my eyes to look at him when he asked me, “Do you want us to take you there, Gavyn?”
I shook my head quickly and tried not to throw up in the backseat of Keira’s car.
By the time we reached the hotel, I’d replayed the entire story of Leifr’s murder, every conversation between Havard and Yngvarr, every fear this young war god had about the girl he was falling so helplessly in love with and his belief that she could never love him in return. As we rode the elevator up to our floor, Hunter was still quiet, which was so unlike him, and I told Keira she’d better be willing to track down something for my best friend to drink. But Hunter told her he didn’t want a drink. In fifteen years, I didn’t think I’d ever heard him say that.
I stared at him and probably had that village idiot expression on my face again. “Why won’t you let them take you to Asgard?” Hunter asked me.
“Why would you want to go?” I retorted.
“I wouldn’t. I can stay here with Agnes and Cadros. Believe it or not, they’re kinda fun, and Agnes isn’t nearly as scary as you might think, especially if you get her drinking. She’s pretty damn funny, actually.”
Keira nudged me and smiled. “Told you.”
The elevator dinged as we arrived at our floor but before getting out, I told Hunter I wasn’t being hauled off to some place that wasn’t even supposed to exist and was full of these asshole gods. Tyr just let out another one of those guffaws and told me he couldn’t blame me for feeling that way.
Tyr had to hear about my latest memory or vision or whatever the hell these things were as Frey replayed it, word for word, to his sister over the phone. Maybe being a god came with having an eidetic memory or something, because it was uncannily close to the way I’d told the same story.
Freyja told us she was going to see Yngvarr now and she’d call us back when she got there so we could all hear their conversation. And Hunter might not have needed that drink, but I sure as hell did.
“How long do you think it’ll take her?” I asked nervously, and I’m pretty sure my voice quivered and I didn’t even bother to check if my balls were still attached. I had given up hope on ever reclaiming them.
“Not long,” Keira told me. And maybe being so obviously nervous had its perks because without even begging, she got up and rummaged through the wet bar until she found a bottle of vodka Hunter and I had somehow missed. She smiled at me again as she poured some over ice. “Do you like it with lime?”
I nodded at her, and the part of me that expected her to drink it herself or dump it into the sink was silenced when she crossed the room and handed it to me. We waited silently for Frey’s phone to ring, which must have been a first for Hunter and me. We’d never kept our mouths shut this long. After about five minutes, the vodka started kicking in, and it’s a well-known fact vodka is a mouth lubricant. “I’ll bet she hasn’t called us back yet because she’s screwing Yngvarr first.”
Frey snorted and Keira rolled her eyes. But then Frey thought about it and mumbled, “She’d better not be. She knows we’re waiting on her.”
I looked at Keira and smiled at her. “Apparently, it wouldn’t be the first time. I’m a guy, so I couldn’t tell in this memory. Is he hot?”
Keira crossed her arms over her chest and glared at the phone.
“Hey, Agnes,” I called. She was either reading or pretending to read on the other side of the room. “You’re a woman… I think. Is Yngvarr hot?”
Agnes never even looked up from her book. “Never met him.”
Keira tried to reach for my drink but I apparently had faster reflexes than I’d ever thought. Desperate times and all. I moved it away from her and said, “You could just answer my question.”
Tyr’s face was turning pink again as he tried not to laugh at Keira, but I didn’t make it easy.
“Call her back,” Keira demanded.
Frey shook his head. Apparently, me annoying Keira was their favorite new pastime.
Hunter suddenly looked up from the table he’d been staring at the whole time and asked, “You have cellphone towers in Asgard?”
And even I didn’t have a smartass comeback for that.
I squinted at him and think something escaped from my mouth that sounded like, “Huh?”
Hunter was unperturbed. “Just wondering how a place that doesn’t even exist, not on Earth anyway, can get phone calls from here.”
Agnes laughed at him from across the room. I told her to shut up. Apparently, vodka also regrew balls.
“I don’t know, Hunter,” Frey told him. “Humans invented cellphones and we just borrowed your technology. You’ve always been more innovative than us.”
“I still think she talked him into having sex with her first,” I added, because really, cellphone towers weren’t interesting at all. Getting under Keira’s skin, however, was. “He must be really hot.”
“Oh, for god’s sake, Keira, just tell him,” Tyr goaded. He obviously thought getting under Keira’s skin was a hell of a lot more fun than discussing cellphone towers, too.
Keira threw her hands up and scowled at me. “Yes, he’s attractive, okay?”
I thought about that for a few seconds as I sipped on my tongue lubricant and de-emasculator. “More or less attractive than me?”
I don’t know how she answered because it wasn’t in English, but every person in the room claiming to be a god thought it was funny. Especially Agnes. So I told her to shut up again.
I had almost finished my drink when the phone finally rang, and Frey immediately put it on speakerphone. I didn’t give Freyja a chance to explain anything. “Were you and Yngvarr getting it on while we were just sitting around waiting on you?”
Freyja sighed. “I just got here, Gavyn.” She paused then added, “Gunnr, did you let him get drunk or something?”
Keira mumbled something back to her and Agnes cackled again.
“Hey,” I protested, “I’m a grown man. I can drink when I want.” Everyone knew that wasn’t true.
This time, Freyja mumbled something and Keira was the one to laugh like she’d been vindicated. I would have been pissed off at her if she weren’t so damn hot and the vodka weren’t making me so horny.
“Yngvarr’s right here. I’m going to tell him the same story Frey just told me,” Freyja informed us, and she launched right into the memory I’d recently shared. Like her brother, she had a remarkable ability to recall details verbatim and left nothing out of the story as she retold it. When she finished, both rooms were unnervingly quiet.
Then, for the first time since Freyja had returned our call, I heard Yngvarr’s voice, exactly as I’d heard it in that vision from the field, and I could see this god so clearly in my mind. Oddly, something stirred inside me, these emotions that didn’t seem to belong to me, but at the same time, they did: this love and admiration for a man I’d never met, yet who seemed so familiar.
“But I don’t have a brother…” Yngvarr started, but his voice trailed off as my heart threatened to explode, and I didn’t even know why. Maybe it was the vodka.
“None of us can remember a god named Havard,” Freyja explained. “We think he had some spell cast to make all of us forget him.”
“But why?” Yngvarr asked.
“We don’t know. We’re hoping you can help us figure that out.” Freyja’s tone didn’t suggest she was trying to get this god in bed with her; apparently, the mystery of my ancestry, this young war god who was desperately in love with a human girl, was more appealing to her than sex.
Yngvarr took a deep breath and we listened as the other end of the line became quiet again. Finally, Yngvarr spoke. “I did kill Leifr. I thought I killed him, I mean. Oddly, I can’t seem to remember why, though. He had done something to my family, but I thought it was one of my sisters…” His voice trailed off again.
We heard Freyja move and I noticed she must still have the same fondness for gold jewelry because it clinked as she walked, and when she spoke, she sounded closer to Yngvarr. “What about your parents? Havard’s memories keep mentioning your mother and father. I remember them. I know they both died but how?”
“I don’t want to talk about my parents, Freyja,” Yngvarr warned.
“But if it can help Gavyn,” but Yngvarr didn’t let Freyja finish.
“I don’t see how their deaths can help him. I’m willing to do anything I can for him, you know that. Bring him to Asgard, I’ll see—” But I was the one to interrupt this time.
“I don’t want to go to Asgard.”
Yngvarr caught his breath and both rooms got eerily quiet for the third time. I squirmed on the bed I was sitting on, suddenly extremely uncomfortable and wishing I hadn’t said anything at all.
“Gavyn…” Yngvarr spoke slowly, carefully now. “Your voice…”
I shook my head and stood up. “I’m not going to Asgard,” I reiterated and I left the room even though I still didn’t have a room key. But Keira had followed me just like she had the day before and let me into my room.
“Gavyn,” she said softly, that same compassion she’d displayed when I’d witnessed the destruction of the Staples Center, all of those lives crushed in its rubble, because of me.
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