Secrets of a Sissy Boy

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Secrets of a Sissy Boy Page 3

by Carolina Dean


  After the Egg Roll has been performed, the egg is cracked, and its contents dropped into a clear glass of water. The yolk is then observed for signs of the outcome of the work. Common signs include blood, discoloration, bubbles, and threads. A certain level of experience is required to interpret the signs found in the yolk. The Egg Roll may have to be repeated several times for full effect; however, many people see relief with only one treatment.

  Performing the Egg Roll

  Begin by taking a fresh egg and facing East with the egg in your dominant hand. Take a few deep, cleansing breaths and say a benediction such as “God before me, God behind me, God be with Me.”

  Next, begin at the top of your head and work your way down the body by rubbing the egg next to your skin moving downward and away from your body. As you rub the egg on your body, you may wish to say a heartfelt prayer such as Psalm 23 or, my favorite, The Lord’s Prayer, either silently or aloud.

  When you are done, the egg may be cracked open into a clear glass of water and inspected for signs of the work done. Afterwards, it may be flushed down the toilet. Alternately, the egg may be tossed into the center of a crossroads where the negativity it now holds will be dispersed to the four directions, or it may be thrown at the base of a strong tree to be absorbed into nature and converted into something positive.

  An alternate rite for spiritual healing consists of placing a whole egg in a clear glass of water which is placed under the bed. The egg remains under the bed for one or three days, depending on the severity of the condition after which it may be disposed of as described above.

  chapter 2

  The Secret of the Ancestors

  Your Ancestors are those spirits connected to you by blood and are your most powerful allies in the spirit world. For gay and lesbian individuals, however, family is not always defined by blood. In fact, we are often cast out of our own families by the very people who are supposed to love and protect us. For this reason, we often form close familial bonds with those who are not genetically connected to us but who love, support, and protect us just the same. It is no wonder then that gay people often use the word “family” to describe a person who is also gay or gay supporting.

  On the other hand, to say that a person would be rejected by their Ancestors simply because a living relative or relatives has chosen to disown or cut them out of their lives would be erroneous. Just like your living Ancestors, your deceased loved ones are comprised of many people from various walks of life, with their own temperaments, outlooks, and opinions. We like to believe that when folks pass into spirit, they shed their mortal vices and prejudices, but that is not always the case. Spirits can, and often do retain their human beliefs and opinions, hold grudges, and are bound by their addictions. Such spirits may or may not evolve or change over time. Therefore, some Ancestors may reject you for your sexual orientation, but I like to think that most will not.

  Chances are you are not the first gay individual in your family. Remember, folks didn’t always talk about these things as openly as we do today. Somewhere in your family history, there is another gay person; there is someone who had a gay child, a gay brother, or sister, a gay aunt or uncle; or even a gay friend. Somewhere in spirit, there is an Ancestor or Ancestors who could care less about whom you love or sleep with so long as you are happy. Somewhere in your family tree, there is a leaf, a splinter, a branch that loves you just as you are and wants nothing for you but your own happiness. So, don’t let a few caterwaulers drown out the chorus cheering for you!

  Gay Icons

  In other cases, we often draw strength and inspiration from public figures who are known as Gay Icons. A Gay Icon is someone who serves as a living symbol of the gay community (regardless of their own sexual orientation) who shares in our struggle and who has traditionally supported our people and our community. We love our icons in the gay community and often raise them to the status of saints, gods, and goddesses. Examples of Gay Icons include Judy Garland, Bjork, Madonna, Lady Gaga, Bette Davis, Cher, Donna Summer, and Dolly Parton, to name a few.

  Drag, a form of shapeshifting in which a man dresses as a woman, allows individuals to transform themselves into these icons not to mock them, but rather to emulate them. Just like the little boy who ties a towel around his neck and “becomes” Superman, the Drag Queen puts on the costume of her idol and take on those qualities he admires in her. Many times, those qualities remain after they transform back into themselves. By taking on the positive qualities of our icons, we can draw upon their strengths, honor them, and spread their message of love and acceptance.

  It is not necessary to dress as your icon to petition them for assistance or take on their qualities. There is a scene in the 1995 motion picture, To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar, in which three Drag Queens (played fabulously by Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, and John Leguizamo) instruct a young girl to watch Anne Baxter in The Ten Commandments (1956) for her moves; that is, her body language. The Queens basically teach the girl to utilize her mind to imagine herself as Nefretiri (the character played by Anne Baxter) so that she can adopt the allure of Nefretiri and attract the young man she likes. In other instances, an altar to one’s icon can be erected and maintained. In fact, I know of one spiritualist who maintains an altar to Freddy Mercury and regularly prays to him.

  The role of the Gay Icon is not limited to women, per se. In fact, there are a number of men who are considered Gay Icons, such as Elton John, George Takei, Nick Jonas, Harvey Milk, Freddy Mercury, Justin Timberlake, and Ben Cohen. Ultimately, we elevate our Gay Icons because of their support of us. However, I personally believe that gay men often look to women as their icons and role models not only due to their beauty, strength and outspoken support of our community but because gay men and straight women share similar struggles. Such struggles include the struggle for equality, the struggle to be taken seriously by society, as well as the struggle to love and support our men. I find that gay male icons are often appreciated because they often represent the kind of man that we both aspire to be as well as to the kind of man that we wish have for ourselves.

  The relationship between the gay community and their icons is clearly not a one-sided one. It is an old adage that the spirits need us as much as we need the spirits and the same is true of our Gay Icons, our heroes, and our heroines as well. Many celebrities such as Cher, Tammy Faye Messner, and Eartha Kitt have reported that it was the support of the gay community that kept them going when others no longer supported them. Such icons can be considered a form of Ancestors as part of our shared cultural community.

  If you are a gay man reading these words right now, the most important thing that I can impart to you is that you are not alone.

  The Ancestor Altar

  Many rootworkers start out working with spirits of the dead in the form of the Ancestors, the spirits of the dead connected to them by blood. It is believed that the dead don’t die; rather, they ascend to another level of being from which they can observe and assist us. From this higher level, the Ancestors can guide us in our daily lives, intercede with the Godhead on our behalf, and protect us in times of need.

  The process of working with the Ancestors begins with the construction of an Ancestor Altar. Before I go any further, I’d like to point out that many rootworkers are Christian and adhere to God’s commandment in Exodus 20:3 to “have no other gods before me.” Therefore, rootworkers do NOT worship the Ancestors inasmuch as they venerate them. The Ancestor Altar is the place where this veneration ritually occurs.

  Setting up an Ancestor Altar is beneficial for many reasons. Some of these reasons include, but are not limited to, the following:

  It allows you to make a spiritual connection with the other side.

  It allows you the opportunity to develop a relationship with spiritual allies.

  It confers a certain amount of protection over you by inviting the spirits of loved ones who have passed on to be an active part of your life.

  It allows you gr
eater access to information in the form of your Ancestors’ wisdom and experiences, especially if they were spiritual practitioners as well or had special talents or abilities.

  It prepares you to work with other types of spirits that are not connected to you by blood.

  Setting up an Ancestor Altar is fairly simple, and there is no standard layout for one. Like other altars, they will often grow and change in relation to your personal belief system, your understanding of how to put those beliefs into practice, the items you have or can obtain, and sometimes by request of the Ancestors themselves.

  When setting up an Ancestor Altar, there are two major things that you will want to consider: 1) where to place the altar, and 2) what to place on the altar. Where you place your Ancestor Altar will depend on your personal belief system, what you have available to use as an altar, and the amount of space that you work in. There are no hard and fast rules on altar placement. Sometimes you will hear that an Ancestor Altar shouldn’t be placed in the bedroom due to privacy concerns when intimate moments arise with your partner. However, there really is no reason that you can’t put your Ancestor Altar in your bedroom except that it makes you feel uncomfortable to do so.

  Just because your Ancestor Altar is in your bedroom doesn’t mean that your Ancestors are bound to that room. If an intimate moment arises you can feel secure in the knowledge that the Ancestors would excuse themselves. If you have no choice but to place your Ancestor Altar in your bedroom, you can cover it with a white cloth whenever you think you may be intimate with your partner.

  An altar can be made out of virtually any available flat surface. This could be a coffee table, the top of a chest-of-drawers, a bookcase, a shelf hung on a wall, or an end table, for example. The only requirement for your altar is that it is large enough to hold everything that you wish to place upon it. For example, my Ancestor Altar is the top shelf of a bookcase which is located just inside my door.

  Before setting up the altar, it is important that the area is clean. I usually wipe down the area with a damp rag and a few drops of ammonia followed by anointing the four corners and center of the altar with a tiny drop of Spirit Guide Oil or Peaceful Home Oil.

  What to Place on the Altar

  A basic Ancestor Altar can be made with the following items.

  A white altar cloth

  A glass of water

  White candles

  White flowers

  Photographs and/or belongings of deceased relatives

  The items are placed on the altar in a manner pleasing to the eye. The practice of using a white cloth, white candles, and white flowers is derived from the belief that white represents both purity and cleanliness. Water is offered to the spirits to give them refreshment. Sometimes the Ancestors will request coffee, whiskey, or some other liquid to drink. When this occurs, you should do as they ask. Water is traditionally changed on Monday; however, I personally do this on Sundays as this was the one day of the week my entire family was sure to come together.

  In addition to the items mentioned above, you may also place items which belonged to the Dead in life, or items that they liked. For example, you may have your grandmother’s glasses, or your father’s watch. You may choose to place a certain brand of cigarette on the altar because it was favored by an Uncle, or a crossword puzzle book because an Ancestor enjoyed completing them.

  In some cases, you may even decide to do things at your altar that your Ancestor enjoyed doing in life. For example, if your mother loved to sew you may honor her by sitting before your altar as you sew a mojo bag or doll baby. If your grandfather loved to read Westerns, you may purchase a book to keep on the altar and read it to him a chapter at a time.

  The only admonition when placing photographs on the altar is that you should never place pictures of the living alongside pictures of the Dead. In addition, there may be a deceased Ancestor with whom you are uncomfortable inviting into your space. You two may not have gotten along in life, they may have been considered an evil person, or have died bad, for example. If this is the case, I would suggest that you work with the Ancestors with whom you are most comfortable working with in the beginning. After you have developed a relationship with these Ancestors, you may wish to ask them to assist you in making peace with the others.

  Petitioning the Ancestors

  How you work with your Ancestors, the prayers you say, the offerings you make, and how often you tend your Ancestral Altar will depend upon your personal belief system. For example, Catholics are known for having prescribed prayers that they pray by rote such as those associated with the Rosary, whereas Baptist prayers are often extemporaneous. It is up to you to decide what form the veneration of your Ancestors will take.

  I was raised in a Baptist household and often begin my veneration by lighting white candles and reciting The Lord’s Prayer (see Appendix B). This prayer was the first prayer I learned in Sunday School and many lines within the prayer speak to me on a deep spiritual level for working with the Spirits of my Ancestors.

  For example, the prayer begins: “Our Father, who art in Heaven. Hallowed be Thy Name.” These words acknowledge God as our first Ancestor, our Father. “Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.” Anything which occurs at the altar happens because God has willed it. “Give us this day our daily bread,” not my daily bread but our daily bread. This line is a reference to making offerings to the spirits and the benefits we receive in return for our devotion. “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” This line is a request to God that no evil spirit leads us astray or gives us bad advice, as well as a request that no evil befall the spirits which dwell at our altar.

  The Lord’s Prayer may be followed by a spoken petition welcoming your Ancestors into your home by name and asking them to commune with you, be tended by you, and to offer their personal gifts, wisdom, and/or protection to you, your home, and your living family and yes, even your pets.

  Some people work with their Ancestors every day, some approach their Ancestor Altar once a week, and some work with their Ancestors whenever they feel a notion. I think that it is very important to establish a regular practice of praying at your Ancestor Altar, if not every day then at the very least once a week. Whatever you decide it is important to be consistent with your practice.

  The Ancestor Pot

  The Ancestor Pot is a sacred tool that allows you to make a physical connection with your Ancestors on a deeply personal level. It consists of a pot into which a portion of dirt from the grave of one's Ancestors has been placed. In the modern era, when people die they are often buried in steel vaults if they are not cremated. Before this time, they may have been buried in pine boxes or simply a winding sheet. Over time, their bodies decomposed and returned to the earth. Therefore, when dirt was taken from a grave, it was believed that one wasn't simply taking dirt but rather the essence of that person's body that had become a part of, and not apart from, the soil.

  In another time, an individual's Ancestor Pot may well have included the bones of their Ancestors; however, many modern practitioners have taken to including a ceramic or crystal skull in their Ancestor Pot as a substitute for their Ancestors’ bones. Small libations of water or whiskey may be poured over the skull to "feed" the Ancestor, or it may be anointed from time to time with oil. In addition, some folks even include dirt from an unused portion of the cemetery to represent unknown Ancestors, as well as samples of dirt from various places such as banks, post offices, jails, hospitals, crossroads, and so forth, to empower the dirt with the energy forces present in those places.

  It may not always be possible for you to visit the grave of your Ancestors or even to collect dirt from their graves. An alternative to using graveyard dirt is using stones. To do this, choose stones to represent specific Ancestors and place these in your Ancestor Pot. You may wish to choose your stones by their shape. For example, if Grandma Jones was a short, plump woman you might choose a small round stone. Likewise, you may choose a more elongated stone t
o represent a tall, thin Ancestor.

  Also, you may choose a precious or semiprecious stone that matches the energy of the Ancestor it represents. For example, rose quartz is ideal for a loving and kind Ancestor while pyrite is appropriate for a wealthy and generous Ancestor. I feel that it is important to include what I call a papa stone and a mama stone; that is, a stone which represents your male Ancestors and another to represent your female ones. Finally, you may wish to include a special stone to represent your unknown Ancestors.

  Using Your Ancestor Pot

  My Ancestor Pot is the focal point of my Ancestor Altar. Being the dwelling place of the Ancestors in the physical plane, it is the place where I focus my eyes and direct my words when I am conversing with them. In fact, I often get ideas, inspiration, and direction from them.

  For example, at one point I had a money mojo that was working very well for me. Things were going so great I didn’t think I needed to carry that mojo around anymore so I put it away in a little box where it was promptly forgotten. When my money luck soured, I pulled the little mojo back out, tried to feed it and get it working for me again to no avail. Finally, I was having a conversation with my Ancestors who instructed me to place the mojo inside my Ancestor Pot for three days. After three days, I removed the money-drawing mojo bag from the pot, and it worked stronger than ever! In fact, the same day I received a substantial windfall.

  Sometimes, when a spell is finished and I think it needs a little more oomph, I will take the petition that I created for the spell and place it in the Ancestor Pot rather than dispose of it. The same can be done with talismans, jewelry, and other objects as well. In other instances, if I feel that someone or something is interfering with my working or it needs more power, I will remove a candle from the altar where it is burning and place it directly on the Ancestor Altar. If I have an enemy working against me or if someone is bothering me, I will take their photograph or name paper and place it directly under the pot face down and ask the Ancestors to keep them down.

 

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