Whose Life is it Anyway?

by Sinéad Moriarty

  ‘I barely knew her, and she’s dead now,’ said Pierre.

  ‘It doesn’t matter,’ said Siobhan. ‘We can work round it. What was her surname?’

  ‘God, I don’t know.’

  ‘Think, Pierre,’ I urged him.

  ‘I’m sorry, darling, I have no idea.’

  ‘Hanafin,’ said Nuala. ‘We’ll say it was Hanafin. You can tell Niamh’s parents that Molly was a great influence in your life and you’d love them to have met her. But unfortunately she passed away recently.’

  ‘What about religion?’ said Siobhan.

  ‘Any chance you’d convert?’ asked Nuala.

  ‘None, I’m afraid.’

  ‘But he has agreed to bring up any kids we have as Catholic.’

  ‘Actually, I said I’d think about it.’

  ‘You’ll have to give in on that one. That’ll be a deal-breaker for Mum and Dad,’ said Siobhan.

  ‘If they ask you about faith, just be a bit vague. Say you’re open to all religions but haven’t fixed on one yet,’ said Nuala.

  ‘No, that won’t work,’ said Siobhan. ‘If he gives Dad an inkling that he might be converted, he’ll hound him into becoming Catholic.’

  ‘You’re right. OK, Pierre, you’ll just have to say you’re not religious yourself, but you’ve great respect for the Catholic faith,’ said Nuala. ‘We’re an old-fashioned bunch and we don’t like change. Tread softly,’ she said, smiling at him. ‘Sure it’ll be no bother to a charmer like yourself.’

  ‘I presume Niamh told you about Dad’s heart-attack?’ Siobhan said.

  ‘Yes, I was really sorry to hear of it. She said he’s on the mend, though.’

  ‘He is, but he has to keep his blood pressure down and this is going to be a big shock. We need to plan it carefully,’ said Siobhan.

  ‘Do you want me to tell him?’ asked Nuala.

  ‘No,’ I said firmly. ‘I’m the one who’s going to marry Pierre and I’m the one who’ll tell Dad. I’m thinking I’ll tell Mum first and, hopefully, she’ll help me when it comes to Dad.’

  ‘She will, of course. Once she meets this charmer, she’ll forget he’s black and older,’ said Nuala, never a fan of subtlety.

  ‘How have your parents reacted?’ asked Siobhan, winking at me.

  ‘They were a bit surprised at first, but they’re coming round to the idea now. They’re looking forward to meeting the rest of Niamh’s family.’

  ‘One thing at a time,’ said Nuala, panic-stricken. ‘We can’t have you all descending on poor Mick and Annie at once.’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ I said, laughing at the vision of the entire Alcee family arriving into Mum and Dad’s front room – Chanel suits, red shirts and French-history lesson in tow.

  ‘Well, we’ve a lively few days ahead of us,’ said Nuala.

  37

  Five minutes after leaving the restaurant, I rang Siobhan for feedback. It was pretty obvious that Pierre had been a hit, but I wanted to do a post-mortem anyway.

  ‘So, what did you think?’

  ‘He’s OK.’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘I’m joking. He’s great, Niamh, really nice, charming, relaxed and good-looking too. I can see why you fell for him.’

  ‘What did Nuala think?’

  ‘She’s here beside me. Hang on,’ said Siobhan, passing the phone to our aunt.

  ‘Niamh?’ Nuala’s voice said.

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘Don’t let that fella out of your sight. He’s a keeper.’

  ‘Did you really like him?’

  ‘If I was ten years younger, I’d run off with him myself. He’s wonderful so he is. No more than you deserve. I think once your mother gets over the shock of him being black, she’ll love him.’

  ‘What about Dad?’

  ‘Your father’s a whole other issue. I think it’ll take him a long time to come round, but I’ll be fighting your corner. You’ve found a good man there. Don’t let him go.’

  ‘Thanks, Nuala,’ I said, feeling a huge sense of relief. They liked him, and they were going to help win over my parents.

  ‘Niamh, it’s me,’ said Siobhan, coming back on the phone. ‘When are you going to tell Mum and Dad?’

  ‘I was planning to do it tomorrow while Pierre’s in Oxford with his parents. It’ll give them twenty-four hours to freak out before he comes back to meet them.’

  ‘OK. I’ll keep the day free so I can help you out after you’ve told them. You’ll need it.’

  ‘Thanks, Siobhan. I really appreciate that.’

  ‘To be honest, I didn’t expect to like him, but he’s a fantastic guy. How did you do it?’ she said, as I bristled.

  ‘I didn’t do anything. He fell for me.’

  ‘There’s no need to be defensive. He’s just in a different league from your usual loser boyfriends.’

  ‘I know, and that’s why I’m going to marry him. Anyway, I’m glad you liked him,’ I said. ‘It means a lot to have you on my side.’

  ‘Good luck tomorrow. Keep me posted. I’ll have my phone with me all day. Call me when you’ve dropped the bomb. Mum and Dad will listen to me. I’ll be able to calm them down.’

  ‘Thanks,’ I said, not feeling half as confident of her powers of persuasion as she was.

  I hung up and Pierre grinned at me. ‘Let me guess, they love me.’

  I shook my head. ‘Thumbs down, I’m afraid.’

  ‘Bullshit. They were eating out of my hand.’

  ‘OK. You were a big hit.’

  ‘I told you they’d like me.’

  ‘You were right, but don’t get too cocky. The real hurdle is yet to come.’

  ‘Piece of cake. Once your parents meet me, they’ll come round.’

  ‘Well, we’ll find out soon. When you get back on Friday, I want you to come straight from the station to the house. You should get there at about five. I’ll have done the deed and it’ll be up to you to launch a serious charm offensive.’

  ‘No problem.’

  ‘Pierre?’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘You were amazing today.’

  ‘I’m glad they approved. Two down, two to go.’

  I spent the night tossing and turning in my childhood bed. I wanted to approach telling my parents in the best way possible. After a sleepless night, I finally decided to tell Mum first. Once she was on-side, I’d tell Dad. If Mum was convinced she could persuade Dad that black was white, she was my most important ally. My plan to drip-feed the information was out of the window. There was no easy or slow way to tell them that Pierre was black and I was moving to Canada. I’d just have to come out with it.

  The next morning, while Dad slept in, I got Mum in the kitchen on her own. I kept opening my mouth to tell her, then chickening out.

  ‘What’s wrong with you?’ she asked. ‘You’re like a cat on a hot tin roof this morning.’

  ‘Mum, I need you to sit down. I have something I want to talk to you about.’

  Her hand flew up to her mouth. ‘Please, God, don’t tell me you’re pregnant.’

  ‘No! Don’t worry it’s nothing like that.’

  ‘Thank the Lord,’ she said, mightily relieved.

  ‘No, Mum, it’s something else.’

  ‘Is it your boyfriend? I’ve been so distracted with your father, I haven’t had the chance to ask you about him.’

  ‘Well, yes, it is about him. We’re still together and it’s got very serious.’

  ‘You want to move in with him? Well, you know I don’t approve of living in sin, so you won’t get my blessing if that’s what you’re looking for.’

  ‘Not exactly. The thing is, Mum, Pierre’s asked me to marry him and I’ve said yes.’

  ‘What? We haven’t even met him! How could you agree to marry someone your father and I’ve never set eyes on?’

  ‘He only proposed the other day,’ I lied. ‘It’s all new to me too. Besides, you’re going to meet him tomorrow.’

  ‘I should think so too,’ sh
e huffed.

  ‘I really love him, Mum. He’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met.’

  ‘I’m very glad to hear it, Niamh, but there will be no wedding until we’ve met him and approved of him. I don’t even know his second name!’

  ‘It’s Alcee. He’s the professor of phonetics at Trinity College, Dublin.’

  ‘Professor,’ she said. ‘How old is he?’

  ‘Well, he’s a bit older than me.’

  ‘How much older?’

  ‘Fourteen years.’

  ‘Lord, Niamh, he’s practically old enough to be your father. He’s not a divorcé, is he? Please tell me he isn’t.’

  ‘No, Mum, he’s never been married. I’m the only person he’s ever proposed to.’

  ‘Very peculiar, a man of his age not married. He’s not queer, is he?’

  ‘Jesus, Mum! No, he isn’t. He’s a heterosexual man who just didn’t find the right person until he met me.’

  ‘It’s a very big age gap. When you’re forty he’ll be fifty-four. You need to think about that.’

  ‘I’m not worried about it, Mum. He’s a very young forty-two.’

  ‘My cousin Susan married an older man and it was terrible. He got very sick in his fifties and she ended up being his nurse. She had a dreadful time.’

  ‘Honestly, Mum, when you meet him you’ll see how healthy he is. It’s not a worry.’

  ‘Maybe not now, not today, but in ten years’ time he could have a heart-attack like your father and you’ll end up a nursemaid.’

  I really needed to get her off the age difference. It wasn’t supposed to be the big deal.

  ‘Well, I could marry a guy my own age and the same thing could happen. Look at Charles and Diana. She was the younger one and she died in a car crash. You never know what’s ahead of you. But there’s no point dwelling on it.’

  ‘Was it a car crash, though? There are many think she was murdered.’

  ‘Don’t tell me you actually believe those conspiracy theories?’

  She sniffed. ‘Anything’s possible.’

  Rather than get into a long discussion about whether or not Princess Diana’s crash was accidental, I brought the conversation back to my fiancé. ‘Pierre’s been offered a job in Vancouver in Canada and he leaves in a few weeks. We’d like to get married before we go, so I really need your help.’

  ‘Canada? But that’s the other side of the world.’

  ‘It’s only a plane ride away. You can come and visit.’

  ‘Engagements, older man, moving to Canada… My God, Niamh, are you trying to give me a heart-attack like your father?’

  ‘I know it’s a lot to take in and I’m sorry to land it on you, but as I said, Pierre only proposed last week,’ I lied again, ‘and he only got the job offer a few days ago. I’m still reeling from it all myself. But it’s good news, Mum. He’s a wonderful person. I can’t wait for you to meet him.’

  ‘Well, I can tell you one thing, missy. You’re going nowhere with that man until your father and I have had a long talk with him about exactly what his intentions are and find out what kind of morals and principles he has. Is he Catholic?’

  ‘No.’

  She put her head into her hands. ‘You’re not making this easy, Niamh. Your father’s going to hit the roof when he hears this man is French, fourteen years older, wants you to move to Canada with him and not even a Catholic.’

  ‘Actually, Mum, there is one other thing that I need to explain about Pierre.’

  ‘What could it possibly be?’ She sighed.

  ‘He’s not exactly French. His parents are from Martinique in the Caribbean. So he’s kind of –’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Not white.’

  ‘Jesus, Mary and St Joseph – BLACK?’ she screeched.

  I nodded.

  Mum fell into the chair beside her and gaped. I stood in front of her, dancing from one foot to the other. She shook her head and tears came into her eyes. She wailed, ‘Why? Why do you have to be so difficult? Why can’t you be like other girls and bring home a nice local lad? What did I do in a former life to deserve two such daughters? One who has to have a gunshot wedding and another who wants to marry a black man.’

  ‘Shotgun.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Nothing. Come on, Mum, once you meet Pierre, you’ll love him. Honestly, I know you will.’

  ‘No, I will not,’ she snapped. ‘Do you have any idea what you’re getting yourself into? Do you have any idea how hard marriage is? A relationship with someone from your own culture and creed is difficult enough, but with someone from another it’s impossible.’

  ‘It’s 1999, Mum. People marry outside their comfort zone all the time.’

  ‘Name one couple you know where the husband is black.’

  I’d known they’d ask this question so I’d racked my brain for ages and finally come up with Harriet and Jason. They were the only mixed-race couple in our neighbourhood. ‘Harriet and Jason.’

  ‘And a fine example they are!’ she cried. ‘Their poor children didn’t know what colour they were supposed to be with a black mother and a white father. They’re a mess, drug addicts the lot of them.’

  ‘That’s not true. Only Daniel, the youngest, did drugs. The other two are teachers. Besides, Daniel’s been clean for ages now.’

  ‘Wild, the whole lot of them,’ she muttered, choosing to ignore the facts. ‘And what about your children? Have you thought how they’re going to feel with a white mother and a black father? It’s the children who suffer.’

  I willed myself to remain calm. ‘They’ll have two parents who love each other.’

  ‘You think you have it figured out, but you really don’t have a clue. People haven’t changed that much.’

  ‘Yes, Mum, they have. Even Dublin is cosmopolitan now. Times have changed and so have attitudes. If you’d just give Pierre a chance, I guarantee he’ll win you over. Nuala and Siobhan loved him.’

  She jumped up from the chair. ‘NUALA!’

  ‘Yes. She met him yesterday and thought he was amazing.’

  ‘How dare you introduce him to Nuala before me? I should be the first person to meet him, not your aunt. I’m your mother,’ she shouted.

  ‘I’m sorry. I wanted to test the water.’

  ‘Get that man in here immediately. I can’t have Nuala telling the whole place about your fiancé and me, your own mother, not even having set eyes on him.’

  ‘He’ll be here at five this afternoon.’

  ‘I presume you haven’t told your father yet?’

  I winced. ‘No.’

  ‘If you think I’m angry, he’ll hit the roof. I’m not sure his heart can take it. But now that you’ve gone and introduced him to Nuala we’ll have to meet him today. We’ve no choice or we’ll be the laughing-stock of the family. It’ll be the talk of the town. No one has ever gone this far. No one has ever done this to their parents. A black man!’

  ‘That’s enough,’ I snapped. ‘Stop judging him by his colour. Meet him and then decide if you like him or not.’

  ‘Don’t you raise your voice to me. I’m upset enough as it is.’

  ‘I’m upset too, that you’re not giving Pierre a chance.’ I sighed. ‘Mum, he makes me really happy.’

  ‘It’s not all about being in love, Niamh. It’s about partnership and having similar interests, goals, respect and compatibility.’

  ‘We have all those things,’ I said.

  ‘I sincerely hope you do,’ she said.

  ‘Look, Mum, I need you on my side. I need your help with Dad. Remember when you said you could persuade him of anything?’

  ‘I can’t perform miracles, Niamh. Besides, I haven’t time to talk to him now. I’ve to go and get my hair done. I can’t be meeting your fiancé looking like this.’

  38

  When Mum rushed out of the house to get her hair done I sat down to gather myself together before telling Dad. Mum’s reaction had been worse than I’d thought it would b
e, so Dad’s was going to be horrendous. I took a deep breath and went to find him.

  I met him coming down the stairs.

  ‘Where’d your mother run off to in such a hurry?’ he asked.

  ‘She went to get her hair done.’

  ‘Oh, right. Well, I’m off to the office to check on things.’

  ‘Actually, Dad, do you have a minute?’

  ‘Sorry, pet, I’ve to dash. I’m meeting Tadhg there at ten and I’m already late.’

  ‘When will you be back?’

  ‘Around lunch time. Is everything all right? You look a bit tired.’

  ‘Fine, thanks. I just didn’t sleep that well. How are you feeling?’

  ‘I’m great today. This is the first day I’ve woken up and felt back to myself.’

  ‘Does your heart feel strong?’ I asked, because it was going to get a big shock.

  ‘As an ox. There’s life in the old dog yet,’ he said, patting my arm. ‘Don’t worry about me, pet. Right, I’d best be off.’

  ‘OK, I’ll see you later, then. At lunch time?’

  ‘Fine.’

  I was almost relieved that he had to rush off. I needed to talk to Mum when she’d calmed down and coax her into helping me with Dad. Hopefully she’d be in a better mood when she came back from the hairdresser.

  An hour later, the kitchen door swung open and Mum came in with a very strange hairdo.

  ‘Your hair’s nice,’ I lied.

  ‘It’s a disgrace. I got some young trainee one and I was so distracted I didn’t keep an eye on what she was doing and it’s lopsided. I was too upset to complain, so I just paid and left.’

  ‘It looks fine to me.’

  ‘Is there anything I can say or do to persuade you to give this man up?’ she cut across me.

  ‘No. I love him.’

  ‘If your father and I disapprove of him will you go to Canada anyway?’

  ‘I hope that won’t happen.’

  ‘Don’t be too sure. Will you go?’

  ‘Yes, Mum, I will.’

  ‘Well, then, I hope for your sake that we do like him.’

  ‘Why can’t you be happy for me?’ I complained.

  ‘Because I see the hurdles you’re going to face and all you can see is love and romance. I want the best life possible for my children.’