“Two slices,” he said to Madame Fontaine. “Coffee for me and milk for the lady.”
As the bakery owner left, Matt turned to Pearl. Even in the dim corner, her hair had a shine beneath the hat that matched her dress. He had to remember why he’d brought her here, and it wasn’t to look at her hair. “I’d like to hear more about the interview.”
“Why?”
“I’m concerned.” He had to quiz her without revealing his suspicions about Jasper and the G.O., so he weighed his words carefully. “Jasper asked me about you.”
“He did?”
“He heard about Sarah’s accident.” He told her how Jasper had asked her name and learned of her father’s profession. “He seemed interested, if you know what I mean.”
Her brows shot up.
“I just thought you should know.” Leaning forward, he kept his voice low. “It’s none of my business, but you’re new in town. You’re not aware of certain things.” Like Jasper’s letters to the editor and his rantings at the Golden Order.
“That’s true,” she said quietly. “But I know what I saw today.”
“What did you see?”
Pride burned in her eyes. “He gave me respect. No one else even tried to understand. Except Miss Marlowe, of course.”
Matt couldn’t figure it out. Why had Jasper been kind to a fallen woman? “You must have impressed him.”
“I told the truth,” she said quietly.
He still couldn’t make the pieces fit. Jasper never forgave anyone for anything. Matt didn’t believe for a minute he’d supported Pearl. He might have appeared to support her for his own reasons—reasons Matt found repulsive—but he doubted he had voted for her. When it came to impropriety, Jasper had no tolerance for anyone.
A waitress brought the coffee, milk and pie. They ate in silence until Pearl set down her fork. “I don’t understand. Why don’t you like Mr. Kling?”
Because he keeps secrets. He’s a hypocrite and liar. Matt wanted to enlighten her, but he had no business talking about Jasper. He shrugged. “I just don’t.”
Pearl sliced a bite of pie. “I do. He was kind to me today.”
The more Matt said against Jasper, the more she’d defend him. He considered telling her about the besmirched hairbrush, but he didn’t want to mention hair. Neither did he want to talk about hypocrites and hog ranches with a preacher’s daughter. Annoyed, he stabbed at the pie. “I still think he voted against you.”
“Why?”
Matt didn’t want to go down that road, but she’d insisted. “They know about your son, right?”
“Of course.”
If she could shoot straight, so could he. “Jasper’s not one to overlook a person’s mistakes.”
Her brows hitched together. “What mistake?”
She hadn’t gotten with child by herself. Did he have to spell it out for her? “You know what I mean.”
She gasped in shock, then shot to her feet and raced to the door.
Matt didn’t understand. Until now, she’d been candid about her situation. He hadn’t said anything she hadn’t acknowledged herself. He couldn’t let her leave in a snit, so he slapped some coins on the table and went after her. Before he could catch up, she pushed through the door. It swung shut behind her, nearly slapping his face. By the time he’d gone through it, she gained half a block.
“Hold up,” he called.
She hoisted her skirts and ran faster. He broke into a run. Chasing Pearl was getting to be a habit. When he reached her side, he jumped in front of her to block her path. She stopped short and glared at him through her tears. “Go away!”
He clasped her arms. “Pearl, I’m sorry.”
“Leave me alone!”
“Whatever I said, I didn’t mean to offend you.”
“You said I made a mistake!” Fury blazed in her eyes. “I didn’t! I didn’t want—I pushed him—I said no!”
She broke into sobs and hunched forward as if she’d been socked in the belly. If he hadn’t been holding her arms, she’d have crumpled to her knees in the middle of the street, a heap of helpless skirts and tears and that’s when he understood… She’d been raped.
His heart caught fire. He wanted to kill the man who’d touched her. A noose and a tall tree…. A bullet to the man’s brain. The violence carried him to Virginia in a haze of rage. He’d never take the law into his own hands again, but sometimes he thought about it. If anyone harmed Sarah—he clenched his jaw. If someone hurt his daughter, blood would run thick.
Right now, he needed to help Pearl. She’d straightened her back, but her eyes were still gleaming. “I’m tired of defending myself! I’m tired of being blamed and accused! I won’t stand for it.”
“Good.”
She glared at him. “I don’t want pity, either.”
“I don’t give it.” Everyone in this world had a story to tell, including him. Most of those stories had lousy endings. “I don’t feel sorry for you, Pearl. Not a whit.”
“You don’t?” She sounded steadier.
“No, I don’t. But I’d like to kill the brute who hurt you.”
“He’s dead.”
“Good.” Matt wouldn’t have to go to Denver and arrest someone. “You’re alive. You survived.”
“Yes.” She seemed to breathe the word. “I did.”
“I can see that.” He saw everything about her and he liked what he saw. She was brave, smart and pretty to boot. “I jumped to a very wrong conclusion, and I’m sorry. I’d be grateful if you’d accept my apology.”
“Of course.”
Matt let his eyes twinkle. “You’re a force when you’re angry, Miss Oliver. I’m glad that fury’s not directed at me right now.”
In spite of his teasing, she looked bleak. “I’m not mad anymore. Just disappointed.”
“So am I,” he said quietly. “You’d be a wonderful teacher.”
“Do you think so?”
“Sure.” He smiled.
Pearl’s eyes clouded. “Sometimes I wonder if the trouble will ever go away.”
“I don’t know,” he said truthfully. “Something like that stays with a person, but it doesn’t have to stop you from living. You’re a good woman, Pearl. And a good mother. Some man is going to be honored to have you for a wife.”
A whimper escaped from between her lips. She covered her mouth with her fingers, a gesture that made him wonder if she’d ever been kissed with true tenderness…if she wanted a husband…if she felt damaged or whole. He had no business thinking such thoughts, no call to hurt for what she’d endured. But he did. He wiped her tears with his thumb. “Feel better?”
“I do.”
“Good.”
Her eyes clouded again, this time with resignation, and he thought of the ribbons he shouldn’t have sent, the ribbons he wouldn’t take back for anything.
She lifted her chin and smiled. “I’m glad you and Carrie are friends.”
So was Matt. Carrie had brought him closer to Pearl. He indicated the way to Carrie’s house. “I’ll walk you home.”
“Thank you, Deputy Wiley.”
The formality annoyed him. He’d called her Miss Oliver to show respect, not to put up a wall. “Call me Matt. We’re friends now.”
“All right, Matt.”
She smiled shyly, then started down the boardwalk. After ten steps, she commented on the weather. Matt commented back. It was indeed a lovely day, but not as lovely as the woman at his side. It wasn’t a matter of whistling “Dixie,” either. She had his heart tied in knots. Not that it mattered…. No way would he court a blond-haired preacher’s daughter. Not when he’d failed so badly as a husband. And not when he didn’t respect her faith.
With that thought squarely in mind, he commented on the clouds. Pearl talked about the wind. And that was that.
Pearl hoped Carrie had already arrived for lunch. Asking Matt to share a meal with them was a small way to repay her cousin’s kindness, though she’d had to swallow a surge of envy. She
liked Matt far more than she wanted to admit. His apology had touched her deeply. So had the flash of anger when he’d understood the circumstances of Toby’s conception. In that moment, Pearl had felt both safe and understood.
What if… But the question had no bearing. Matt belonged to Carrie and Pearl intended to help her cousin in every way she could.
To her pleasure, Carrie hurried down the front steps. When she saw Pearl with Matt, she hesitated, but only for a moment. “I haven’t heard a thing! What happened?”
Pearl took a breath. “I didn’t get the job.”
“Oh no.”
Carrie tried to hug her, but Pearl pulled back. Kindness would make her cry, and she wanted to keep the dignity she’d regained. She indicated Matt. “I invited Deputy Wiley for lunch.”
With a winsome smile, Carrie faced him. “We’d love to have you.”
“No, thanks,” he answered. “I’ve got work to do.”
“You still have to eat,” Carrie insisted.
Matt smiled his appreciation. “I’ll be fine, Carrie. Don’t worry about me at all.” He turned to Pearl. “Take care now.”
“I will.”
His eyes lingered a bit too long and her throat tightened. She couldn’t let his friendship matter to her. She couldn’t care about this man or want his attention. She had to help Carrie. “Are you sure about lunch? Martha’s a good cook.”
He looked pleased. “I wish I could, but Dan’s waiting for me.”
“Of course.”
He gave Carrie a nod, looked at Pearl a last time, then walked away. Pearl wished he’d been friendlier to Carrie than he’d been to her. The circumstances were all wrong. She turned to her cousin. “I was upset after the interview. I ran into Matt—”
“You don’t have to explain.”
“But—”
Carrie looped her arm around Pearl’s elbow. “Matt takes care of people. I’m glad he helped you.”
He’d done more than help. He’d looked at her as if she were whole and pretty, as if he were interested in her. Pearl stomped the thought like a bug. “I thought you’d be home. That’s why I asked him to lunch.”
As they climbed the steps, Carrie sighed. Pearl felt both guilty for liking Matt and sad for Carrie because he hadn’t been happy to see her. Hoping to make things right, she touched her cousin’s arm. “Maybe the dinner party will open his eyes.”
“I hope so.”
So did Pearl, though she still dreaded questions and looks. As they entered the house, she smelled the soup but had no appetite. More than anything, she wanted to hold Toby and grieve in private. “I’m exhausted,” she said to Carrie. “Would you mind if I skipped lunch?”
“Not at all,” she answered kindly.
After a quick hug, Pearl went upstairs. She told her father the bad news, pleaded a headache and went to her room. There she changed into an old dress, picked up Toby and moved the rocker to the window. With the sun warming her face, she rocked with her son in her arms, praying for the strength to endure the rest of her life.
“Why, Lord?” she whispered.
She hadn’t asked that question in a long time. After the rape, her feelings had run amok. At first she’d been numb. She’d stopped praying and hadn’t confided in a soul. When her monthly hadn’t started, she’d begged God to let the cup pass from her lips. Instead he’d given her the grace to bear the hardship.
In those dark days she’d clung to God instead of questioning him. She’d accepted the situation the way she accepted bad weather. She didn’t know why blizzards struck, but they did and somehow the snow, sometimes deep and treacherous, nourished the earth. God hadn’t abandoned her. He’d given her good friends and a beautiful son. He’d also exacted justice on her behalf, both in Denver and on Calvary.
She hadn’t been angry with God at all…until now. Why had He given her feelings for a man she couldn’t have? Not only did Matt belong to Carrie, but Pearl had a deep fear of being a wife. Rocking steadily, she thought of her mother’s favorite psalm. I lift my eyes unto the hills from whence cometh my help? Never before had the Lord let her down, but today she felt bereft as she thought of the next verse. My help cometh from the Lord.
Yes, but where was He?
Through the window she saw a puffy cloud. It reminded her of cauliflower, her least favorite food in the world, and surprisingly she found comfort. God knew her likes and dislikes, her needs and wants. He’d made her. He’d made Toby. In spite of the circumstances, she’d rejoiced at the child being knit in her womb. She’d rejoice now, too.
The rocker kept time as she spoke out loud. “Father in Heaven, I know you love me, and I know you’ll provide. I need a job. Please open the right door.”
Closing her eyes, she prayed for Toby and her father, then Carrie. Unbidden, Matt’s face appeared in her mind and she recalled his expression when he’d turned down their lunch invitation. If he had any interest in Carrie at all, Pearl couldn’t see it. Yet she’d seen something in his eyes. Loneliness? Yearning? She didn’t know, but she’d sensed a deep-rooted longing. Bowing her head, she whispered, “Lord, Matt needs you, too. Draw him back into your arms. And Carrie…. She needs a husband. Bless them, Lord. Amen.”
The prayer hurt, but she meant every word.
Chapter Eight
Two days after the interview, Pearl put Toby in the carriage and asked her father to accompany her on a hunt for “Help Wanted” signs. She needed a job and she intended to find one. Surely a decent shop would need a clerk. Her father had agreed to accompany her, and now they were on Dryer Street, the block filled with fashionable shops that included Kling’s Emporium.
After discussing the interview with Carrie, Pearl still thought Mr. Kling had voted for her. Carrie thought Mr. Briggs had cast the other “yes” vote, but she hadn’t seen the way he’d glared at Pearl across the table, as if she’d insulted him by wasting his time. Pearl had also considered Matt’s comments about Mr. Kling’s interest in her. Not likely, she’d decided. Like anyone, he’d been curious and had asked questions. A natural reaction, nothing more. As they neared his shop, Pearl glanced at her father.
“Let’s visit Mr. Kling,” she said. “I want to thank him for speaking up at the interview.”
“Good idea,” Tobias answered.
When they reached the shop, Pearl saw a collection of womanly whatnot in the window. “Such lovely things!”
Her father smiled. “You sound like your mother.”
“I miss her.”
“So do I, princess. She’d be proud of you and her grandson.”
Bolstered by the memory, she lifted Toby out of the carriage. Her father held the door and together they stepped into a world of china and silk, silver trinkets and expensive clothing. As they approached the counter, Mr. Kling stepped out of his office.
His brows shot up. “Miss Oliver! This is a surprise. A nice one, I might add.”
His enthusiasm reminded her of Matt’s warning. Suddenly nervous, she forced a smile. “This is my father, Reverend Tobias Oliver.”
The shop owner came around the counter and the men shook hands. “Good morning, Reverend.”
“Good morning, Mr. Kling.”
The man’s gaze went to Toby, then rose to Pearl’s face. “This must be your son.”
“Yes.”
“And my grandson,” her father added.
Toby didn’t have a father, but he had a good man in his life. Pearl and her father traded an affectionate look. Fortified, she turned to Mr. Kling. “I want to thank you for your support at the meeting.”
“You’re welcome.” He made an awkward bow, then faced Tobias. “You raised a fine young woman, sir. I admire her integrity.”
“Thank you,” Tobias replied.
Behind his spectacles, Jasper’s eyes looked huge. “I’ve been thinking about you, Miss Oliver. I understand your need for employment and happen to have an opening for a clerk. Would you be interested?”
Could her prayers be answered so easil
y? She wanted to take the job on the spot, but any position she accepted had to allow her to go home at lunch to nurse Toby. She’d also learned to ask questions before jumping into new ventures. “It’s an appealing offer. What would I be doing?”
He laced his hands behind his back. “My clientele expects a high standard of service. You’d be assisting customers, arranging merchandise and making sure the shelves are always free of dust.
“And the hours?”
“The store opens at nine o’clock and closes at four. You’ll have Sundays and Mondays off. Would that be acceptable?”
If Mr. Kling allowed her to go home at lunch, she wouldn’t be away from Toby for more than three hours at a time. She’d have to hurry, but her father and Martha would help.
“If I can go home for lunch, the hours would be fine.”
“I expect you to take exactly one hour.”
She’d have plenty of time to feed Toby, but she had one more question. “And the salary?”
“Two dollars a week.”
The amount was fair. Not generous, but adequate as long as they stayed with Carrie. Relief swept through her until she saw her father’s tight expression. “Papa? What do you think?”
“I have a question for Mr. Kling.”
“Of course,” he replied.
As always, Tobias spoke with authority. “The trustees found my daughter’s situation questionable. I have to believe you agreed with the vote.”
“I did.”
Pearl’s heart plummeted. Matt had been right.
Tobias’s frown deepened. “If you don’t think my daughter is fit to teach, why are you offering her a position in your shop?”
“She’s honest.”
Tobias looked dissatisfied. “She also loves children. She’d be a fine teacher.”
“You’re a minister, sir.” Mr. Kling’s voice had a hint of condescension. “I’m sure you understand the implications. Her situation raises questions for impressionable school-girls. Appearances matter.”
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