by Jenika Snow
The sun on her face woke Poppy the next morning. She had finally fallen asleep well after midnight. Blake had fixed them a wonderful meal, and then she had gone to bed, or at least tried to. After a phone call to her family to let them know she arrived safely, Poppy had retired to her room. Visiting with Blake had sounded nice, but she was just too tired. Despite her exhaustion she had lain in the bed for hours, staring at the ceiling and watching the moonlight shift across it.
A glance at the bedside clock showed it was barely seven in the morning. If she could have slept longer she would have, but she was wide awake now. The hardwood floors were freezing beneath her bare feet, and she hurriedly ran to the dresser and grabbed a thick pair of socks. The sweats and thermal tee she wore did nothing to help keep her warm.
After quickly changing she walked to the French doors and looked through the glass. A freshly fallen layer of snow covered everything. Her breath started to fog up the glass, and she lifted her hand and rubbed the moisture away. She didn’t know how long she stood there, watching the snow flutter around, the wind blowing it around like a slow dancing couple, but a knock on her door drew her attention.
“Come on in.”
The door was pushed open, and Blake peeked his head around the corner. “Sorry, I heard the floor creaking and knew you’d be up. Thought you might like a cup of coffee.” His hand made an appearance, his fingers curled around the ceramic. “Two spoonfuls of sugar, a little splash of cream?”
A smile tilted her lips. “You remembered.” She moved toward him and took the offered cup from him.
“Yeah, well I don’t think there is any woman alive that drinks as much of the stuff as you do.” He pushed the door open wider and leaned against the frame. He crossed his arms over his wide chest and regarded her silently.
“What?” He looked almost sheepish, and Poppy started to become slightly self-conscious. “What, Blake?”
“You sleep okay?” His sounded concerned.
It was her turn to look sheepish. “You heard.” Poppy didn’t phrase it as a question. Clearing her throat, she went to the bed and sat on the edge. Her feet were suddenly extremely interesting.
The bed dipped beside her, but she didn’t look up. One night and she had already probably freaked him out. Who wanted to live with someone that had nightmares that caused them to scream out, sometimes waking whole housefuls of people?
“I’m really sorry.” A finger under her chin lifted her face until she stared into his hazel eyes.
“Why are you sorry?” Blake let his finger drop away but continued to stare at her. “Like you can help it? I’m more concerned with how you’re doing?”
Poppy licked her lips and looked down for a suspended moment before lifting her eyes back to his. “The nightmares used to be really bad, a nightly occurrence, but with time they’ve gotten better. I’ve gone weeks without them, but then they come out of nowhere.” This was one of the few things she hadn’t talked with Blake about. Honestly, Poppy had been a little embarrassed. On top of everything else that happened she had the same reoccurring nightmare, one that had her screaming out and waking in a cold sweat.
“You never told me about those.” He took her hand in his, his eyes portraying his concern. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Yes and no.” Poppy knew Blake deserved to know what she may or may not do again. There were a few things she had kept to herself after Jon died, things that had seemed too intimate. One of those things had been the baby she lost as a result of the accident.
“I dream of the accident. It’s always the same, and so vivid in detail.” She closed her eyes, trying to purge herself of the memory of her dream, of her reality. The gentle sweep of his thumb across the back of her hand went a long way in soothing her inner turmoil. It wasn’t like he didn’t know the details of the accident. Both of their families knew, but it wasn’t the same, not when she had been in the middle of it all. Painful memories invaded her, and she squeezed her eyes tighter together.
“Talk to me, Poppy.” His words urged her. “I know it’s hard, but isn’t that why you came out here, to help yourself heal? I bet you haven’t really discussed your feelings with anyone, not even that psychologist you saw.” She opened her eyes and looked into his. Blake was right, of course.
Poppy may have spoken to a professional after the accident, but she hadn’t been fully able to unload her problems, not like she wanted to. Even years later the accident was still fresh in her mind. The sights and smells of the carnage that surrounded her were ingrained inside of her.
“Is me telling you the horror of my dreams really going to help anything?” She didn’t ask to be cynical or untrustworthy of Blake’s attempts to help her. She simply spoke the truth.
“Yes, Poppy, I do think it’ll help, but I won’t push you.” His eyes were a warm green/brown that had her wanting to open up to him.
Looking out the French doors at the swirling snow, Poppy told him about the crash, about her dream.
The sound of glass breaking and metal bending was so unbelievably loud that it encompassed Poppy. Pain registered at the temple as soon as her head struck the passenger side window. Flashes of black and brightness danced before her eyes. The metallic flavor of blood filled her mouth in a gush, and she gagged as it slid down her throat.
The world felt strange, off-kilter. Blinking rapidly, Poppy’s vision cleared enough that she realized she was suspended in the air. The only thing holding her was the seatbelt that cut into her throat, partially cutting off her airway like a tight noose intent on taking her life.
Harsh, violent gusts of wind whipped by her, and she turned her head. Jagged shards of glass from the passenger side window filled her vision. Something warm and wet made a slow, but steady track down her forehead. The wetness started to drip into her eyes, and she lifted her hand, trying to wipe it away. But her arm wouldn’t move. Panic seized her chest, and her heart pounded strong and hard behind her sternum.
“Jon.” Her voice sounded hoarse, scratchy. Poppy cleared it and called out again. “Jon.” There was still no answer. Her neck hurt, and she still couldn’t get her arm to move.
Poppy turned her head to the left, and a tortured sob left her. “Jon…” Hot tears tracked down her cheeks. “No, please God, no.” She tried to reach out, but her fucking arm wouldn’t move. Poppy looked down and saw the flash of white protruding from her forearm.
Poppy screamed. Loud, gut-wrenching sound left her, and she prayed someone heard her, prayed someone came to help. She tried to use her right arm to unlatch her seat belt, but every move she made sent agony throughout her entire body. “Jon, please, wake up, honey.” Blood covered her hand, and made her actions slick and sticky. A rolling wave of pain stole her breath. Poppy gripped her belly and cried out.
Sirens sounded in the distance, and Poppy could hear shouting nearby.
“You okay in there?” A female voice was to her right.
“What’s your name?” A male voice sounded to her left.
She reached out with her right arm, but she couldn’t reach Jon, couldn’t touch him. “Please, help Jon.” Poppy let her head fall back against the seat and closed her eyes. Blood and tears made seeing anything damn near impossible, and the pain made it hard to think straight. Another sob tore through her, and she tried once more to reach for Jon.
“God, Johnny, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Please be okay.” Then darkness took her away.
Poppy wiped the tear that started making a slow trail down her cheek. Blake’s comforting presence seeped into her, and she absorbed the sensation.
“I’m so sorry, Poppy.” He rubbed her back, the rhythmic up and down motion further helping to ease her pain.
“Well, it is getting easier every day, and I’m hoping that it’ll get better since I’m here.” Poppy wiped at the last tear and forced a smile on her face. She looked at Blake and saw a pained look on his face.
“I’m going to make you whole again, Poppy.”
&nbs
p; “I know, but it’s not your job to do that, Blake.”
They stared at each other for a suspended moment, then he gave a nod and stood. “Okay, well I’ve got some breakfast made when you’re ready.”
Blake shut the door on his way out, and Poppy sat on the bed and went back to staring out the French doors. The snow continued in a flurry of motion, and she was struck by the beauty of it.
If only she could be one of those snowflakes with the wind taking her far, far away.
Chapter Four
“Breakfast was delicious, Blake.” Poppy leaned back in her seat and smiled at him. The sunlight poured through the bay window and cast a golden glow across Blake. The thermal Henley he wore was snug against his broad chest, and Poppy could make out the twin mounds of his pecs. She looked away quickly. After finishing her coffee she stood and walked over to him.
“Here, let me do the dishes.” She reached out to grab his plate, but his hand atop hers stopped her. She lifted her eyes to his and waited. For a moment she was struck by how handsome he was. Guilt immediately consumed her.
“Forget about the dishes. How ‘bout I take you to the waterfall?”
“Really?” Actual excitement filled her. “Like an actual waterfall?”
His chuckle was deep and low, and it did funny things to her belly, things she didn’t really want to think about.
“It’s not much of a waterfall this time of year, but it’s still a beautiful sight.” He stood, and she took a step back. “It’s breathtaking this time of year, and if you want to see it we should go before the storm hits.”
“A storm is supposed to hit?”
He scooped up his plate and took hers out of her hand.“Yeah. We’re supposed to get a few feet starting tomorrow night, and it’ll continue until Sunday evening.” He set the dishes in the sink and turned around. Blake leaned against the counter and crossed his muscular arms over his chest. He hadn’t shaved yesterday, and the extra day’s worth of growth looked really good on him. “First I’ll show you the office so you’re familiar with it come Monday, but then we can head up the mountain.” He grinned.
“Okay.” She headed back to her room to change into warmer clothes and freshen up then met Blake in the kitchen. He was already dressed with his coat on and his car keys in hand.
Once in the SUV they headed into town. They didn’t really speak, but that was okay because a comfortable atmosphere filled the vehicle. They pulled into the small parking lot of the Wildlife Preserve, and Blake cut the engine.
The first thing Poppy noticed inside the building were the framed samples of different flora and fauna that lined the walls. A small desk was off to the right with stacks of paperwork littered atop it. A standard, grey filing cabinet stood next to that.
“So, that’ll be your desk.” Blake pointed to where her gaze was already. “As you can see we are in desperate need of some help.” It was cute the way his cheeks turned pink after he said it.
Noise sounded down the hallway, and Blake gestured for her to follow. A door stood to the left, which was closed, and Blake told her that’s where most of their records were kept.
“You guys don’t keep anything in the computer?” He continued to lead her down the narrow hallway and stopped in front of the only other door.
“We do, but internet connection out here is spotty, if we can even get it. Besides, we’re kind of old school around here. Maggie likes to have actual hardcopies of our findings, but we still have to input our data into the system. That’s where you come in.”
“Maggie?”
Blake pushed open the door and proceeded to let her enter first. A thin woman was bent at the waist and rifling through a box of papers.
“Hey, Maggie.” The woman stood at the sound of Blake’s voice. She pushed her wire-rimmed glasses up the bridge of her nose and smiled.
“Hi, Blake.” She flicked her eyes toward Poppy, and a slight frown wrinkled the skin between her eyes.
“This is Poppy Ellis, my sister in-law and the one who is going to help us get the files organized.” Maggie smiled, but Poppy could tell it didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“Nice to meet you, Poppy.” Maggie wiped her hand on her brown corduroy pants before sticking her hand out. “Maggie Harris, wildlife botanist and Blake’s partner.” The way she said “partner” sounded almost like she tried to stake some kind of claim on Blake.
Okay.
Poppy took her hand and shook it, and didn’t miss how the other woman tightened her grasp marginally. “Nice to meet you, too.”
“I was just showing Poppy the place then we’re going to head up to Falls Cliff.”
“Oh, well, have fun. The storm is supposed to hit tonight, so you’re heading up there just in time.” Maggie looked behind her. “I’m just trying to find the files on Hierochloe odorata. I could have sworn I put them there, but I’m having a hell of a time finding them.” When Maggie turned back around she looked at Blake.
“I think you stored them in the Calamagrostis canadensis.”
Poppy looked between the two of them, not sure if they were speaking English. Blake turned to her and smiled.
“Those are just the scientific names of two different types of grass.”
Poppy nodded but still felt so completely out of place. She was totally out of her element. When she lived in Ohio she worked in advertising. Now it seemed she had to work with long, foreign sounding names for different types of grass.
“Don’t worry. We don’t expect you to memorize the scientific names or anything.” Blake threw his arm around her shoulder and grinned down at her. “Come on.”
Blake led her toward the door, and Poppy glanced behind her shoulder. “It was nice meeting you again.” Maggie said but her attention was on Blake’s retreating form. When Maggie finally looked back at Poppy she had a forced smile on her face.
“Likewise.” With that Maggie turned away and continued to dig through the box.
Once they were back in the vehicle and on their way to the falls, curiosity got the best of Poppy. “So, uh, you and Maggie work together long?”
“About three years now. She came from Seattle to do an internship in my office. Once she completed it she decided to stay in Blithe.”
Poppy watched the scenery pass by them. She would have been a fool to miss the attraction on Maggie’s face. She would have also been blind not to feel the hostility that came from the other woman that had been directed right at her.
Blake maneuvered the SUV up the winding mountain for another twenty minutes. Finally he stopped and climbed out of the car. Poppy followed.
“It’s about a fifteen minute hike to the falls, but the trail is fairly flat and shouldn’t be too difficult, even with the light layer of snow.” He led the way, and Poppy kept close behind him.
The sights, smells, and noises were stunning. Large trees towered on either side of them; the smell of crisp air and pine surrounded them, and the small sounds of animals scurrying about made her feel like one with nature. Blake pointed out the different types of flora and fauna, and although she honestly couldn’t keep up with his scientific lingo, she was interested. Blake was intelligent and knew exactly what to say to keep her mind in a positive light, whether he knew it or not.
The wind picked up, and she tucked her chin to her chest and pressed on. The sound of rushing water could be heard before anything could be seen. A break in the trees led to a clearing that overlooked a gorgeous waterfall. Poppy hadn’t realized the trail ascended so much, but as she stepped closer she saw a steep drop-off just feet from her.
Blake’s hand gripped her bicep. “Careful.” His breath teased tendrils of her hair that had fallen free from underneath her knit hat. “The ground is slick, and the edge might not be stable. I wouldn’t want to have to dive in after you when you go over.” She looked over her shoulder and realized he was far closer than she realized. His voice held a teasing tone, but she found herself growing uncomfortable by the tightening in her gut.
; Disentangling herself from his grip, she took several steps back and looked at the scene before her. The great, rushing waterfall cascaded from at least twenty feet. It was just a steady stream of water and not the rushing torrent that she imagined, but then again it was October. A basin of water pooled below the falls, churning slowly then traveling down the mountain. The cold air rose up from the bottom, and Poppy pulled her coat tighter around her.
“It’s so beautiful.”
“Yeah.” Blake said as he stared at the scene in front of him. He pulled a thick blanket out from the backpack he wore and laid it out on the ground. He sat and patted the seat next to him. Once Poppy sat beside him they watched the water rush down before collecting at the basin.
“After Jon died I came up here a lot to think.” She was surprised by his comment, but didn’t interrupt. Even before Jon passed away Blake hadn’t been very forthcoming with his feelings. Even when Poppy had opened her heart up to Blake all those times they spoke, he hadn’t really shared what went on in his head. Poppy had never pressed him, though. She knew all too well that people dealt with their grief differently.
“The quiet helped me out, believe it or not.” His knees were drawn up, and his forearms rested atop them.
He kept staring at the falls, and she wished he would look at her so she could see what was going on behind his hazel eyes. The wind blew his short dark hair around his head, and Poppy had the strange urge to brush the locks away from his forehead. Instead she curled her fingers into her palms and turned her attention forward.
“It isn’t your fault, Poppy.”
Shock resonated through her at his words, and she looked at him. “What?” Blake looked down at her, his eyes holding so much emotion she felt it all the way inside of her.
He looked away, and when he dragged his eyes back to hers the sadness behind them had her throat closing. Why did she think coming to stay with Blake had been a good idea?
“I came to the hospital after your surgery.”
Poppy blinked in confusion. “You came to the hospital? To see me?” She saw the way his throat worked when he swallowed. For several long moments he didn’t answer her, just watched the water cascade into the basin.
