“YOU LOOK LIKE HELL,” Megan greets me as she opens her apartment door. I’m still in my scrubs from the hospital, my hair probably looks like I’ve raked my hands through it a million times this afternoon, and that’s because I have.
“I feel like hell,” I tell her honestly. I walk in, setting down the bag of take out I picked up on my way over to her place. I’d originally planned to have her over to my house and cook dinner for the two of us, but with the way my afternoon ended up going with Mack, I almost canceled on our date all together.
“Want to talk about it?” she asks as she closes the door.
“Mack’s dying and I can’t stop it unless a heart becomes available. She’s at the top of the list, but you know how that goes. All the stars have to align perfectly. So, we sit and wait, praying that the stars align before it’s too late for her. She’s fucking five years old, Megan. She should be out running around, playing soccer or with her Barbies. Not lying on a hospital bed hooked up to oxygen and fighting for her life.” I break down, letting all my pent-up frustration out. I move further into her apartment, heading for her couch where I sit down, my head falling into my hands, my elbows resting on my knees. I don’t usually let patients’ situations get to me like this, but Mack reminds me so much of Tyler when he was her age. He was so strong and spent so much time in the hospital as a kid.
“Life isn’t fair, I can tell you that from experience. You already know that and have personal experience with it. But she’s a fighter. I have faith that she’ll get the heart she needs, just don’t give up. Fight for her just as she’s fighting for herself. Be the strength she and her parents need,” Megan tells me as she joins me in the living room. She maneuvers her chair so she’s parked right in front of me. I lift my head up high enough that I can look at her. Our eyes connect and I can see all the sympathy in her expression.
“I haven’t lost a patient in over a year, and I’d really hate to break that record.”
“That’s impressive,” she says.
I knew going into this profession, and especially this specialty, that most of my days as a doctor would be hard. That I’d lose patients, even when I’d done everything in my power to save them. But I also knew that I’d have days of triumph. That I’d have days when I saved someone’s life, when I changed someone’s life and made it so they could go on to lead a normal life. I can only hope that I can pull through for Mackenzie. That I can save her life so she can grow up to be the badass she was born to be.
“Would you like to eat?” Megan asks a little while later, breaking the silence that we’d fallen into.
“Yeah, sorry. It’s probably cold by now,” I reply as I stand and make my way to the kitchen. “What cabinet has plates?” I ask her as I open the containers of food. She follows me into the kitchen, stopping just outside of it and standing from her chair. I’ve seen her out of it a couple times, so this isn’t completely new. I watch as she expertly stands and uses a walker to help her, and to make sure she doesn’t fall and hurt herself. She makes her way until she’s next to me, then reaches up and opens the cabinet to the left of the microwave. She pulls two plates down and sets them on the counter in front of me.
“I could have gotten them,” I tell her as I set them side by side and start placing things on each of them. I picked up Chinese at her suggestion when I called to cancel our original dinner plans. I pop each plate into the microwave, then carry them over to the counter for us to sit and eat together.
“Thank you, this looks great,” Megan says as she sits down on the stool next to me.
“You’re welcome. Sorry it’s so late and isn’t what I’d promised.”
“No hard feelings. This is perfect. You can always make me dinner another night,” she says, bumping her shoulder into mine. We both dig in, starving, seeing that it’s almost eight PM and well past the time we both would normally have dinner.
“How was your day?” I finally ask once my plate is cleaned and my stomach is full. I realize I’ve been shit for company as we sat in silence eating.
“It was good. I felt bad when we had to cut Mack’s visit short,” she says. “I assume that you were updated as to what happened.”
“Yeah,” I confirm, running my fingers through my hair once again. “Brianna updated me when I got done with my afternoon procedure.”
“Good,” she says, pausing to take a drink of her water. I watch every movement she makes as she does so. “I had to move on to the next patient and felt bad that I couldn’t talk to you directly.”
“It’s all good. I got the information I needed. I did read over your chart notes, so I got your version of what happened from those.”
“Realistically, what do you think are her chances of getting the call that a heart is headed her way?” she asks.
“Now that’s the magical million-dollar question,” I reply. “So many factors go into the transplant list and who gets what. Proximity to the donor, organs will only last for so long once removed from the body. Blood type, body size, age of both the donor and the recipient are other factors that play into things. Realistically, every patient has a fifty-fifty chance that they’ll get called in time.”
“It’s all so fascinating. I’m a huge believer in positive thinking and prayer. I’m going to think positive thoughts for her, clear out all the what ifs from my mind, only think good things. Not saying that it will have any impact, but it’s the least I can do for her right now,” Megan says.
“I’m sure any good vibes we can send their way will be greatly appreciated,” I assure her.
“Did you want to watch a movie? Maybe take your mind off of things?”
I blow out a deep breath and rub my hand over my face. “The weight of everything from today is taking its toll on me and, at this point, I think I just need to head home, take a hot shower and go to bed, but can I take a rain check?” I ask. Hopefully, she doesn’t feel like I’m brushing her off, but I’m just terrible company tonight and I want to end the day from hell.
“Of course. I think heading home, getting a shower and to bed will do you wonders. I know those things always help me when I’ve had a crap day,” she assures me. She reaches out and grabs my hand, squeezing my fingers in her palms in solidarity.
“Thanks,” I tell her, leaning over and dropping a chaste kiss on her lips. “And thanks for having dinner with me, even if I was a crappy dinner mate.”
“You were just fine, Drew. We all have bad days,” she says, leaning into my hand as I cup her face.
“What are you doing this weekend?” I ask, a thought just coming to me in this instant.
“Groceries, laundry, cleaning… normal weekend things, why?”
“Can I steal you away on Saturday?”
“Sure, where are we going?” she asks excitedly.
“That’s a surprise. Just be ready by eight on Saturday morning. We’ll start with some breakfast, so be hungry when I pick you up.”
“Okay…” she says, drawing it out. “And what elements do I need to be dressed for? Something indoors, outdoors? Combination of both?” she asks, rapid fire.
“Dress comfortably and for a combination of both.”
“Okay,” she replies. “Any hints as to where we might be going?”
“Nope. You’ll find out on Saturday,” I tell her, then stand and push my stool in and out of her way. “I should get going. I’ll see you tomorrow at work,” I tell her before I lean over and brush my lips across hers.
“Have a good night, text me to let me know you make it home safe?” she asks.
“Of course. Make sure to lock up after I leave,” I tell her as I walk to the door. I stop and look back at her across the island, still perched on the stool. Seeing her there, knowing what her lips feel like against my own, has me wishing I could just throw caution to the wind and stay the night. I have to force myself to continue out the door and not stay put or, rather yet, push back into her apartment.
“Always,” she says before I pull the door clos
ed behind me and head home.
10
MEGAN
“GOOD MORNING,” I greet the nurses standing at the desk on the pediatric floor. I just got to work a little bit ago and haven’t heard from Drew yet today. I know yesterday was a shitty day for him, so I hope he got a good night’s sleep and today will be much better.
“Morning!” Candace, one of the day nurses, calls out to me.
“How’s it looking today?” I ask as I reach for my tablet.
“It’s been a calm morning. Mack is stable, Stanley is being discharged. So far, everyone else is pretty steady and stable.”
“That’s good to hear,” I reply as I look over the patients flagged for me to see today. “It looks like I’ll be down in the infusion center for a good chunk of my day, so if you need me, that’s where you can find me,” I tell both Candace and Brianna.
“Sounds good,” they both call out to me.
“Have you seen Dr. Montgomery yet today?” I ask, trying to keep things as casual as possible.
“He was in earlier for rounds, but I believe has mostly office hours today,” Brianna tells me.
“Okay, thanks,” I reply, smiling across the counter at her.
“If you need him for something, we can page him,” she offers.
“Oh, no, that’s okay. I’ll just catch him later,” I tell her.
“Sounds good, if I see him around, I’ll let him know that you’re looking for him.”
“Thanks,” I say before she takes off for a patient’s room and I head for the infusion department. They’ve got four patients coming in today that do out-patient infusions and all need support. Getting poked and prodded is never fun, so hopefully I can help entertain them while they’re hooked up today.
“I HEARD you were looking for me,” Drew’s deep voice breaks the silence as he stops behind my chair and plops down on the bench.
“I was just worried about you. I hadn’t heard from you this morning, and after last night, I was just concerned.”
“Sorry, I got up early and couldn’t fall back to sleep, so I went for a long run and then came in to get a jump-start on rounds and paperwork for the day.”
“I’m sorry,” I tell him, and then spin my chair around so I’m facing him now. He still looks rugged and run down. Not his normal upbeat self, like the Drew I’ve come to know over the last few weeks.
“How was your night and morning?” he asks, grabbing my hands and holding them both in his. It still amazes me how much larger his hands are than mine.
“Good, pretty standard. I’ve spent the entire morning in the infusion department,” I tell him. “How was Mack this morning?”
“Stable. The increased oxygen and meds increase from yesterday have helped so far, so that’s a good sign and gives us a little more time to find her a new heart.”
“That’s good!”
“It is, I just hope that it isn’t a false hope. I keep waiting for the shoe to drop. I’ve cringed each time my pager has gone off today.”
“You have to stay positive. She can feed off of your energy when you’re in with her.”
“I know. And I don’t know why I’m letting her case bother me so much, I’m usually not this attached to patients.”
“It’s because you’re a good doctor, and an even better man,” I tell him as I pull my left hand from his. I run the back of my fingers along the few-days’ worth of scruff that’s along his jawline until I reach his ear, rotating my hand to cup his cheek in my palm. “It takes caring doctors like you to really treat the patient. Trust me, I know from personal experience what it’s like to have a doctor that really truly cares for his or her patients.”
“I do what I can,” he tells me.
“I think that’s an understatement,” I tell him.
“Maybe. So, are you headed to lunch?”
“I am,” I confirm, and tap my lunch box that’s on my lap.
“Mind if I join you?”
“I’d love that,” I tell him. He stands and leads the way to the door, opening it up and allowing me to roll through.
I find us a table while Drew walks off to get his lunch from the cafeteria. He takes the seat across from me and digs right in to his soup and sandwich combo. “Have you seen or talked to Lucy today?” I ask between bites of my own sandwich.
“No, but I haven’t been on the floor much today. Once I finished rounds early this morning, I was in my office all morning.”
“I haven’t seen or talked to her since yesterday at lunch. I don’t want anything to be weird between us, so was hoping to see her today,” I tell him.
“I’m sure she’s around, and you have nothing to worry about. She’s the one that was out of line and should be apologizing to you.”
“Still, I don’t want any bad blood. I really enjoy having a friend here,” I tell him honestly.
“And what am I, chopped liver?” he asks, bringing a hand to rest over his heart like he’s wounded from my words.
“Of course not, I like having a female friend. There, is that better?” I ask on a laugh.
“I guess,” he mumbles between bites.
“I need someone to complain to when you do something to irritate me one day,” I tease him.
“Oh, God, not my cousin. She’ll use whatever you tell her against me.” He laughs.
“I know! It’ll be great,” I say, a smile pulling at the edges of my lips. He just gives me a ‘really’ kind of look, by the way his eyebrows pull together and up toward his hairline.
“Just know that paybacks can be a bitch,” he says, a huge smile pulling at his lips.
“Duly noted.”
“Are you still keeping Saturday under wraps?” I ask, trying to see if I can pry his plans from him.
“I am. Do you not like surprises?” he asks.
“I do, I just also like to know what’s going on,” I tell him honestly. “Do I need to plan to drive?”
“I’ve got it all under control,” he says, winking at me across the table.
“You didn’t book that car service again, did you? You don’t have to do that when I have a perfectly good car that can get us around.”
“I didn’t and I’ve got it under control. Just trust me, okay?”
“Okay,” I finally concede, flashing him a small smile.
“If we ever need your car, I’ll let you know,” he assures me.
“Hey, guys,” Lucy says, stopping next to our table. “Can I join you?” she asks.
“Of course!” we both tell her at the same time.
“How’s your day going?” Drew asks her as she plops down next to him.
“Crazy. I was late to work this morning. I overslept, only to get out to my car to find a flat tire. I got that changed, ended up having to fully replace the tire—it wasn’t fixable. Then, my first patient of the day had some issues and nothing we were doing was calming him down in order for treatment to take place.”
“Sounds like a stressful morning,” I tell her.
“It was, but it’s over and done with,” she says, pausing to take a bite of her food.
“What’s your afternoon look like?” I ask.
“I’m not sure, to be honest with you. Since I got caught up with the one patient most of the morning, I think some of my other patients got moved around to other CLS’s or got pushed to the afternoon. I’m going to eat quickly and then head back up to see what the rest of my day is going to look like. How’s yours looking?”
“I spent the morning in infusion, I’m back on the floor for the afternoon. I think I see Mack first. Come find me if I can help in any way,” I offer, hoping we can get back to where we were before yesterday’s weirdness.
“Thanks for the offer, I’ll do that if it gets crazy again. And I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I was out of line. I hope that you can forgive me. I’ll be stepping back from interfering between the two of you. Let you guys decide what things are between the two of you. I just want it on the record that I highly approve of th
is,” she says, circling her finger between Drew and me. “So does Grandmother,” she adds with a playful smirk.
“I’m sure she does.” Drew chuckles.
“She just wants you happy,” Lucy reminds him sweetly.
“She just wants us to start the next generation, is what she wants,” Drew retorts.
“And there’s something wrong with that?” Lucy asks him, raising a brow in question.
“No,” he says. “But I don’t see her hounding you to hurry things up to get married and have a baby, why all the pressure on me?”
“Oh, trust me, Drew. I’ve had the pressure just as much as you have. Although, I have noticed she’s backed off some since Adam and I got serious.”
“Yeah, she’s definitely expecting an engagement soon, just FYI,” he tells her. “She said so to me last weekend.” He looks at her like he won a battle of wits.
“We’ll see,” Lucy says. “Adam has hinted at things, but we haven’t talked in depth about anything like that yet. I’d absolutely say yes if he asked me, but I also don’t think that we need to rush things.”
“I agree, no one needs to rush anything when it comes to relationships. They’ll progress at the rate that is natural,” Drew says.
I let their conversation sink in, and his comments about relationships progressing at whatever rate is natural gives me reassurance. I feel like we’re moving ours along so fast, but it’s what feels natural. The more time I spend with him makes me want to spend all my time with him.
11
DREW
I SIT BACK, all this talk with Lucy and Megan about relationships and such, and realizing that just last weekend was when my grandmother was giving me crap about settling down. When that happened, I had no desire to make it a priority, and yet here I am a week and a half later, wondering where Megan came from. I feel like we’ve known each other for a lot longer than a few weeks, but I know there’s so much more for us to learn about each other. The gala Saturday night brought her into a new light, opened my eyes to her beauty. Made me see her as the woman she is and not just an acquaintance and co-worker.
Cocky Doc: A Hero Club Novel Page 7
