by Amanda Wills
She must have had a nightmare. As she tried to remember, images spooled in her head, like random pictures on an old cine film. Emma lying on the ground clutching her useless arm. Karen’s face puce with rage as an overflowing tap flooded the yard. Cassius lying fast asleep in the shade of the big oak tree. Only when Kristy ran over to wake him, he didn’t stir.
Kristy rubbed her eyes and pummelled her pillow into shape. It was only a dream, she told herself as she pulled the duvet under her chin. Cassius was safe, tucked up in his stable. She needed to sleep. She had an end-of-topic maths exam first period and she needed to do well, otherwise her parents would start nagging her about her grades again.
That’s what the nightmare was all about, she realised with relief. It was a classic anxiety dream, triggered by the exam. She had been so busy at Mill Farm she’d hardly given it a thought. But it must have been preying on her subconscious after all.
Kristy reached for the photo of Cassius on her bedside table. It was one Sofia had taken on her phone one morning when they were out hacking. Cassius was standing still, his noble head raised as he sniffed the wind. Kristy was reaching down to ruffle his mane, a big grin on her face. The hills were etched in purple behind them.
She gazed at the photo, imagining the feel of his silky mane and the delicious horsey smell of him, until her eyelids drooped. Sleep, when it finally came, was deep and dreamless.
Despite her fears, the maths test went well, and Kristy was humming cheerfully to herself as she arrived at the yard for evening stables. Everything was right with the world. Norah had decided to give them the night off, so she could fit in a short ride if she was quick. Her mum was cooking lasagne, her all-time favourite supper. Best of all, Emma had phoned to say she would be home in the morning. Kristy’s days of being Karen’s skivvy were almost over.
To her surprise, Karen was in the yard chatting to Viking’s owner. Jean Davey was as short and round as her horse was tall and elegant. But she was quick to smile and always had a kind word for Kristy. She was also one of the owners who had offered to pitch in and help while Emma was in hospital.
Kristy headed towards the two women but as she drew close Karen turned on her heels and disappeared into the house. Kristy shook her head. The woman was so downright rude.
The back door slammed shut. Kristy realised Jean was talking.
‘Sorry Jean, what were you saying?’
‘It’s good news about Emma. Karen was just telling me. You must be pleased everything’ll soon be back to normal. I know it can’t have been easy for you.’
‘Working for the boss from hell? You’re right, it hasn’t.’ Kristy knew she was probably talking out of turn but frankly she couldn’t care less. Karen Miller was a tyrant. Simple as. And Kristy was used to bossy people.
‘I’ll help you muck them all out tonight. Goodness knows I need the exercise,’ said Jean, patting her well-padded stomach.
Kristy couldn’t believe her luck. ‘Thanks Jean, that would be awesome. I was hoping to fit in a quick ride.’
‘You do that, Kristy dear. You deserve some time off with Cassius. Although I don’t know where Karen’s put him. He wasn’t in the bottom paddock when I rode past earlier.’
‘Oh, I expect he’s fast asleep under the tree.’ An image of Cassius’s motionless body slid, unwelcome, into her mind. She pushed it aside. It had been a nightmare, nothing more. ‘Or down in the far corner. He stands so still sometimes I don’t see him either.’
‘I’m sure you’re right. I’m as blind as a bat without my specs. Where do you want me to start?’
They worked together, Jean mucking out while Kristy filled water buckets and replaced empty haynets with the ones she’d filled the previous weekend. With Jean’s help, they’d finished evening stables in just over an hour. Kristy thanked her profusely.
‘It’s my pleasure. Now you go and find that beautiful horse of yours and have a lovely ride. I’ll see you in the morning.’
Kristy marched down the track to the bottom paddock, Cassius’s headcollar swinging from her shoulder. He’d be hiding behind the tree, or tucked in beside the hedge. Jean must have missed him. She was notoriously short-sighted without her glasses. She was always getting the twins muddled up when they were riding, even though William was about a foot taller than his sister.
But Cassius wasn’t asleep under the tree. He wasn’t down in the far corner, either. He wasn’t even tucked in beside the hedge. Kristy criss-crossed the field, calling for her horse with a growing sense of panic. It was as though history was repeating itself. And then she skidded to a halt. He couldn’t have escaped again, could he? Ended up in the house like last time?
She ran so fast back up the track her lungs were burning by the time she reached the yard. Gasping for breath, she sprinted across to the back door and wrenched it open. Not bothering to heel off her boots, she pulled the handle of the kitchen door and pushed. Nothing happened. She waggled the handle again. It must be locked. Growling with frustration she gave the door an angry kick, hopping in agony when her foot made contact with the solid oak door.
‘Cassius! Are you in there?’
Silence.
Kristy dropped to her knees and pushed open the cat flap. Her ankle-high view of the room revealed table legs, chair legs and the haughty form of Bert asleep in front of the range cooker, but no horse legs.
Wherever Cassius was, it wasn’t here.
10
A Debt Repaid
Kristy sank onto her haunches. Where could he be? Her imagination was a scramble of possibilities. Perhaps he’d been taken ill - colic? - and Karen had taken him to the vet, forgetting to tell her? Maybe he’d escaped but this time had made a beeline for the field of new wheat across the road from Mill Farm? What if she’d missed him and he was in his stable after all? Perhaps this was just another nightmare from which she would wake. She screwed her eyes closed and pinched her thigh as hard as she could. But when she opened her eyes she was still sitting on her haunches, her nose pressed against the knots in Emma’s pine kitchen door.
A clickety-clack made her start and she crouched down to look through the cat flap. Two patent black stilettos were tapping their way across the stone floor tiles towards her. They stopped by the table. By swivelling her head Kristy increased the angle of her vision. Black tights, a black pencil skirt threaded with silver and a black silk shirt. Blonde hair swept back into a chignon. Karen looked smart but severe, as if she was going to a funeral. She flipped open a small silver compact and began applying lipstick with exaggerated care.
Pins and needles prickled Kristy’s right foot and she shifted her weight, knocking over an empty wine bottle. She shot out a hand to catch it but missed and the bottle clattered to the floor. Risking another peek through the cat flap Kristy met Karen’s eyes through the compact’s tiny mirror.
‘What on earth are you doing grovelling around on the floor?’ she said, snapping shut the compact and dropping it into her handbag.
The last thing Kristy wanted was to give the impression she had been spying on her boss.
‘I dropped a hoof pick,’ she lied, reaching in her pocket for the hoof pick she always carried. ‘Here it is!’
By the time she scrambled to her feet Karen had unlocked the door.
‘I’m going out. Make sure you lock the tack room before you go.’ She grabbed her car keys from the table and glided out of the kitchen.
‘Wait! I can’t find Cassius,’ Kristy blurted to her retreating back.
Karen turned and regarded her steadily.
‘I’ve looked everywhere,’ said Kristy.
‘Don’t waste your time. He’s not here.’
‘What d’you mean?’
Karen looked at her watch and sighed. ‘I really don’t have time for this.’
‘Karen, please. Where is he?’
The older woman tossed her bag onto the table. ‘You’d better sit down.’
Kristy’s legs felt cotton wool-weak and she sank into
the chair, bracing herself for bad news.
‘Bella Hayward came for him.’
Kristy felt winded, as though someone had punched her in the solar plexus. ‘Bella who?’
‘Arabella Hayward. Cassius’s owner,’ Karen said impatiently. ‘She came back for him. Took him home.’
‘But he’s mine!’
Karen pulled open the drawer of the dresser Emma laughingly referred to as her filing cabinet. It was where she stuffed all her paperwork, from vets’ bills and invoices from the feed store to the horses’ passports.
‘That’s where you’re wrong. I checked his passport. Bella’s name is still on there. He’s legally hers, whether you like it or not.’
‘But I don’t understand! She disappeared owing Emma tons of money. Emma kept him in lieu of the money she owed and my friends clubbed together to buy him from Emma for me. I’ve already told you this!’
‘My dear sister might have taken the questionable decision to keep him, but she never updated the ownership details on his passport. And neither did you and your friends when you bought him from Emma.’
‘I’ve never owned a horse before. I didn’t know we had to!’ Kristy wailed.
Karen tutted. ‘It’s too late now. Bella turned up last night with her rather charming fiancé, who wrote a cheque there and then. He’s repaid all the money she owed. Over four thousand pounds. They sent a lorry to pick Cassius up this morning.’
Tears pricked the backs of Kristy’s eyes. ‘You mean he’s gone?’
‘Once we finally got him in the lorry. He was a devil to load. I thought at one point we might have to call out the vet to tranquillise him.’
Kristy was horrified. Cassius was the calmest, kindest horse she had ever met. ‘He was probably frightened! You know he can’t see properly. You need to be his eyes, tell him what’s happening, so he trusts you.’
Karen gave an indifferent shrug. ‘I left them to it. But brute force seemed to do the trick.’
Tears were streaming down Kristy’s face. She made no attempt to wipe them away.
‘Didn’t you think to check with Emma?’
Karen bristled. ‘I’ve got her four thousand pounds back. I should think she’d be pleased, wouldn’t you?’ She waved a hand at the tatty kitchen units and peeling paintwork. ‘God knows this place could do with some money spent on it.’
A sob caught the back of Kristy’s throat. Karen handed her a tissue.
‘Pull yourself together for goodness sake. He’s just a horse. There are plenty more where they came from. I’m sure my sister can find you a little project pony to work on.’
‘I don’t want a project pony. I want Cassius,’ Kristy said dully. She raised bloodshot eyes to Karen. ‘Where did they take him?’
‘Her fiancé’s place, apparently. His family owns a large estate. Lots of lovely stables, Bella said. He’ll be spoilt rotten.’
‘But where is it?’
‘No idea.’ Karen drummed her nails on the table. The sound made Kristy flinch. ‘Are we done here?’
Kristy bit her lip and said nothing.
‘I’ll take that as a yes. Remember to lock up.’ Karen gathered her bag, patted her hair and click-clacked out of the kitchen.
Kristy stared blankly after her. She felt as though her heart was being ripped in two. Her darling Cassius, her beautiful boy, had been taken from her. He could be anywhere. She might never see him again. The finality of it all brought on a fresh wave of tears.
Her worst nightmare had come true. And what made it worse - what made it utterly unendurable - was that she had betrayed him.
She had promised to look after him, and she had broken her promise.
And she hadn’t even had the chance to say goodbye.
11
Curve Ball
The journey home was a blur. Kristy stumbled along the pavement, her arms wrapped tightly around herself, wondering how her life had flipped from it’s regular, run-of-the-mill ordinariness to utter catastrophe in the space of a few seconds.
Her temples throbbed with hatred for Karen. How could she have cheerfully taken the cheque in exchange for Cassius? No piece of paper, no matter what was written on it, could ever equal his worth. Cassius was flesh and bone, heart and soul and spirit. Money was worthless in comparison. It meant nothing.
But Karen cared about money, didn’t she? And so did Arabella and her stinking rich boyfriend. They thought money could fix everything, that everyone had their price. But Kristy would never have sold Cassius, not for all the money in the world.
‘Are you alright?’
Kristy’s heart leapfrogged into her mouth as a wrinkly hand shot out from behind a wall and rested on her arm.
‘Moira, I didn’t see you there!’ she gasped, as the elderly woman who lived in the apartment opposite theirs shuffled onto the pavement in front of her.
‘I was just going to fetch my paper when I saw you, all hunched up as though you were carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Everything OK, Kristy love?’
Kristy dragged her eyes away from the pavement. Moira was looking at her anxiously, her blue eyes as faded as old denim. She straightened her shoulders and smiled bravely.
‘I’m fine,’ she said, fumbling in her pocket for her front door key. She jumped up the steps two at a time, aware Moira was still staring at her in concern. She let herself into their apartment and almost collided with her dad, who was carrying a coffee and the paper into the lounge.
He saw her tear-streaked face and his eyebrows shot up.
‘Whatever’s happened?’
Kristy may have been able to put on a brave face for Moira, but there was no way she could hide her feelings from her dad.
‘It’s Cassius. He’s gone.’
He listened in silence as Kristy recounted her conversation with Karen.
‘Surely that’s illegal? Karen can’t sell a horse without Emma’s permission.’
‘It was all perfectly legal though, don’t you see? In the eyes of the law Cassius has always belonged to Arabella Hayward. He was never mine.’ Kristy hiccuped softly. Her dad rubbed the salt and pepper stubble on his chin.
‘I’m so sorry Kristy. I know how much you loved him.’
‘Don’t use past tense, Dad! I still love him, and he loves me. It’s killing me that he must think I’ve abandoned him, after all we’ve been through together.’
‘I’m sure he doesn’t think that. As long as he’s fed and watered he’ll be happy. Isn’t that the main thing?’
Kristy closed her eyes. An image of Cassius dozing under the oak tree, his bottom lip drooping, filled her mind so powerfully she could almost feel the softness of his breath on her hand. ‘I suppose.’
‘Perhaps you’ll be able to visit him once he’s settled in his new home. To put your mind at rest.’
‘Karen doesn’t even know where he’s been taken!’
‘I’m sure Emma will be able to find out. She’s coming out of hospital tomorrow, isn’t she?’
‘Think so.’
‘There you are then.’ Her dad patted her knee. ‘Once you know where he is I’ll speak to this Arabella Whateverhernameis and explain you’d like to come and see him. You never know, she might even agree to regular visits.’
Kristy knew her dad was trying to help, but her heart still felt as if it had shattered into a million tiny pieces. ‘He won’t be mine though, will he, to see every day, to ride whenever I want?’
‘No sweetheart, he won’t. But you know something? Sometimes life throws curve balls at us. It’s how we deal with them that matters. Remember when I lost my job? Our house, your school, holidays and all those lovely things we used to enjoy, like riding lessons and parties and membership of the golf and tennis clubs. All gone. But it hasn’t stopped us, has it? Look at you, finding a job you love, making new friends and doing so well at school. Your mum still hankers after the old life, I know. But she was only saying the other day how much less time this place takes to keep clean.’ H
e gestured at their tiny apartment. ‘And me, well, I was going to save the news until dinner, but I was offered a job today. It’s only as a book-keeper for the factory down the road, but it’s a start.’
Kristy wiped her nose on her sleeve and braved a smile.
‘That’s great, Dad. I’m really pleased for you.’
‘That’s my girl.’ He lifted her chin. ‘And do you know what I’m going to spend my first month’s salary on?’
Kristy shook her head.
‘A new pony for you.’
‘But -’
‘Shush,’ he smiled. ‘I’ve made up my mind. It won’t be anything flash, but it will be all yours, I promise. Now that’s settled come and give your old dad a hug.’
Her dad wrapped his arms tightly round her. He smelt faintly of coffee and the lemony aftershave she’d given him for Christmas. She relaxed into his bobbly jumper. She’d always been a daddy’s girl, running to him if she’d scraped her knee or fallen out with a friend. As she’d got older he was the first person she sought out when she needed advice. They viewed the world the same way, and with a few wise words he always managed to unravel even the knottiest of problems.
But this time he was wrong. She knew he meant well. He always did. And a year ago she’d have bitten off his hand if he’d offered to buy her a pony. But she didn’t want any old pony. She wanted Cassius. He was her soulmate, the love of her life. They were meant to be together.
And if she couldn’t have Cassius, no other pony would do.
Kristy scuttled past the door to the library, her head bowed. She was supposed to be meeting Sofia and the twins for a quadrille meeting, but she couldn’t face their pity. Not yet.
Somehow she had made it through the morning, but her heart was heavy and the back of her throat ached with unshed tears. She didn’t want to talk to anyone. She needed to be on her own.
