“Is it something I can help with?” He sounded extremely concerned, but she refused to bring him down into the trenches of her parents’ disease.
“Just something I need to learn to live with.” She drew a breath and let it out slowly as the spinning slowly came to a stop.
“But you don’t have to live with it alone, whatever it is.” His eyes connected with hers, and for the first time in eighteen years, she felt encouraged. Not about her parents’ alcoholism, but about how she might handle it.
“But it’s a lot for others to have to listen to, Josh.” She shook her head, unable to believe how much lighter she was already feeling, and she hadn’t even told him anything.
“Not when they care about you.” He moved his hand across the table and clasped hers.
“Josh, you make it sound so simple and—”
“I always wanted to be the person to pick you up, and you didn’t give me that opportunity,” he interrupted. “Let me have that chance now. Let me carry some of the burden and lighten the load.”
His words swam around her heart, making her feel like the teenage girl who had fallen for her Prince Charming. She sat staring at Joshua Turner and wondered why she ever left.
But she knew.
Hailee knew exactly why she left, but Emilia was good at forgetting.
“My parents started drinking again.” A scowl remained on her expression as she continued. She had to shake the feelings for Josh that were smacking into her like a tidal wave. She didn’t realize how much she craved kindness. “No surprise there.”
Josh nodded. “Well, you always hope for the best.”
“But I don’t think it’s only drinking.” She took her hand away from Josh’s.
Josh’s eyes locked on hers. “There are lots of options out there.”
“They needed to borrow some money from me a while ago, and I gave it to them, and then they just asked for more, and I’m guessing that’s what tonight’s text is about too. It’s a substantial amount, Josh. I can’t imagine where it’s going.”
He nodded, and she noticed his jaw clench tighter.
Always the protector.
And she hated that she liked that about him.
“It’s not like I want to see my parents out on the street, but I don’t want to enable them either.” She let out an exhausted sigh. “And they somehow knew about my advance, and I can guarantee you I didn’t mention it.”
Josh bit his lip and nodded. “Our house always sends out a press release on big deals. They might have seen it online or something. We never release exact numbers, but the deal category it falls into is released. They could look it up and get a vague idea.”
Anger nipped at Emilia, but it wasn’t at Josh. It was his company and his right to release the information he wanted. The fury was directed at her parents.
“No wonder they think I’m an ATM now.”
Josh shook his head, clasping his hands together. “Look, Hailee…I’m so sorry. I never would have had my PR department release that info had I realized your parents were back in your life.”
“There was no way for you to have known. It’s not your mess. You didn’t create it.”
“And neither did you, Hailee. You’re not responsible for the actions of your parents.”
“At times, it feels as if I am. Or someone ought to be.”
“Don’t put that onus on yourself.” Josh shook his head. “They’re not your liability.”
“Well, for the last eighteen years, probably more, if I were honest, I wanted them back in my life, and now that they’re here, I don’t know what to do with them.”
Josh nodded but didn’t say anything. He just listened, his eyes taking her in as she spoke.
“The last few times I heard from my mom, her words were slurred, her sentences not forming correctly. I could hear my dad in the background sounding in as good of shape as my mom. It’s just so infuriating.”
“It would be.”
“But you’re somehow making it better.” She felt a sudden shift once she spoke those words, and her entire body reacted to how he looked at her.
His expression turned veiled as his speculative gaze sent an unexpected thrill through Emilia. She was suddenly feeling brighter as he continued to watch her.
Feeling wanted felt good, but she refused to concede that she wanted to sleep with him.
Emilia was above all that needy mess of psychobabble about trauma, need, want, and desire. Emilia knew she wouldn’t fall prey to the hodgepodge of emotions running through her. Sleeping with him tonight wouldn’t fix anything.
It would only complicate things.
The server took their plates as the sun was setting in the distance, and Emilia remained trapped in all her thoughts.
“I guess I missed my flight.” She turned her gaze back to his.
“It seems that way.” His hand slid over to hers again, and her skin heated where he touched her. He circled his thumb on the soft spot of her palm, and her thoughts started to jumble.
She was tired of attempting to outrun something that always caught up with her. For once, she wanted to be reminded what it was like to live in the moment, in the present.
“Would you mind if we went up to your room?” She was shocked the words came out of her mouth. She wasn’t even sure she knew what she meant by them.
Josh didn’t say a word. He only nodded and motioned for the bill.
By the time they made it up to his room, her hands were trembling. Not from fear, but from exhilaration and anticipation. They hadn’t even shared a kiss since Josh had wound up back in her life, yet she very well knew that she was willing to sleep with him.
Josh opened the door to his room, and she drew a deep breath. He gently touched the small of her back and led her into his suite. She took in the beautiful space and the view of the ocean. A large balcony ran the length of the room, and he walked over to open the French doors.
Even though it was evening and almost dark, the view was spectacular, and the warm breeze swept into the room, caressing her exposed skin.
Josh turned around slowly and his eyes locked on hers. The silhouette of the man he’d become made her mind spin to deliriously delicious places. She imagined her hands running along his bare chest and his fingers trailing along her belly. Emilia knew he was thinking similar thoughts as he motioned for her to join him near the balcony.
Emilia smiled and walked over to Josh, who brought her slowly into his arms.
“You’re absolutely beautiful, Emilia,” he whispered.
She was stunned. “You finally called me Emilia?”
“I’m sure you have a good reason, and I hope someday, you’ll tell me what it is.”
She moved closer, narrowing the minuscule gap between them. Feeling Josh’s hard body up against hers took her breath away, and she wanted to explore so much more.
“I think you’ve grown,” she murmured, not realizing what that sounded like.
Josh laughed and pulled her in tighter as she rested her head on his chest, just taking in what it felt like to be held by someone who genuinely cared.
“Emilia.” His voice was husky and full of desire. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”
She laughed, and her eyes connected with his. “You can call me Hailee, and I want to be with you more than anything.”
Josh’s eyes darkened with heated desire, and she smiled, knowing her world would never be the same.
“I’ve wanted you since the moment I found you.” His lips pressed down against hers.
His kisses started out sweet and soft. But as her hands ran underneath his shirt, the gentleness turned demanding as they both shared eighteen years of pent-up desire. It was as if all the imagined encounters and run-ins created a world of complete perfection as their bodies hurried to become one.
Josh knew exactly where to put his hands as they ran down her belly, how to kiss with the ability to make her want so much more and the experience that only this
many years between them could bring, delighting her senses while his mouth slid along her neck. His mouth broke free, and he pulled her top over her head.
A shiver ran through her as her eyes connected with his.
Hailee tangled her fingers in his hair as he relearned the new curves of her womanly body. His hands ran over her breasts as his tongue trailed behind. She slid her fingers to the buttons on his shirt as his mouth came back to hers. Within seconds, he helped her remove his shirt, and they both hastily stepped out of their pants as if they were back in high school and had insufficient time on their hands.
He scooped her back in his arms, and she brought her mouth back to his, tasting the sweetness of his lips.
“Josh,” she whispered as his fingers skated up her thighs, finding the lace separating them.
He slowly worked his way underneath, and she let out a moan as his hands expertly moved in a rhythm she’d never experienced before. As she moaned his name again, he worked faster and brought her back to him.
Hailee was left wanting so much more as his hands slid away from the lace. Her eyes met his, and she could see the same hunger and desire in him that was churning in her. All these years lost, and she felt more connected to him tonight than she ever had.
Josh picked her up and carried her to the bed, laying her gently on the sheets. His gaze roamed over her bare body, and she felt her nipples grow taut and all parts of her ache to be touched, to have him inside her.
Hailee reached up for Josh and traced her fingers down his chiseled abdomen, feeling the dips and peaks of his muscular build when their eyes connected.
“I’ve never stopped loving you, Hailee.”
She smiled and felt the words coat over her as she looped her arms around his waist and pulled him toward her.
“I’ve never stopped loving you, Josh Turner,” she whispered next to his ear as she moved her hips into him.
Josh’s hands expertly slid to her small, naked hips and pulled her into him as he pushed deep into her. She’d never felt so much all at once and moaned in ecstasy as his body moved in and out.
There was so much familiarity being in Josh’s arms. She felt like she was at home in his embrace as they shared what each other had to offer.
As her body tightened and she wrapped her legs around his waist, he called her name, and she never loved hearing ‘Hailee’ more as her world exploded into an ecstasy she didn’t believe possible. It was nearly impossible to catch her breath as he slipped out of her and she turned on her side. His muscular arms draped over her as he pulled her into him and whispered her name again.
“I love you, Hailee.” His fingers ran down her bare belly, and all the desire roared to life once more, but she suddenly felt like an intruder in her own life, and she knew what she had to do.
Chapter Twenty
“You always shine at running away.” He spoke to the empty hotel room and tossed Hailee’s pillow back on the bed. “But I should have known better.”
He strode into the luxurious marble bathroom and let out a sigh, refusing to feel as defeated as he really did. Why did he let himself believe she’d actually stick around?
Of course, he could just show up at her door in Silver Ridge, but he had more self-esteem than that. If she didn’t want more, she didn’t want more, and Josh would learn to accept that.
He looked at himself in the mirror and decided not to shave. The unkempt look drove some women insane for him, and maybe that was what he needed, self-assurance from the opposite sex that he wasn’t half-bad. Josh rolled his eyes at himself. He never slept with women for that reason. He was abundantly self-assured, and he had an ego that was plenty big enough. He just happened to have a complete hang-up over an unattainable woman.
“Pshh. ‘Call me Hailee.’ ” He shook his head and drenched his toothbrush with toothpaste. “That should have been the first tip-off, buddy. ‘Cause she’s the one who always splits.”
He started brushing his teeth and grumbling out obvious clues as he walked over to the open French doors to stand on his balcony. He brushed and brushed, thinking about how wonderful the night before was and how he better remember every detail because it wouldn’t be happening again.
Josh swished and walked over to the sink at the mini-bar and rinsed before wandering back onto the balcony.
“Call me, Hailee,” he muttered again. “Why’s that? Emilia might actually stick around?”
He let out a groan and wiped his hands over his face, feeling the frustration boil over. He wanted to like her. Hell, he didn’t even care if she was Emilia or Hailee.
But he didn’t understand how they could share so much and she could simply walk out on him.
Again.
At least wait until morning and have the decency to say Gee. That was fun. You know what you’re doing in bed, but I’m just not into the relationship thing right now.
“That would be too simple now, wouldn’t it?” He leaned against the railing and watched the waves roll onto the beach.
Having dinner with her was amazing. Bringing her to his suite was even better. It was all incredible. Seeing the intensity and pleasure on her face last night was the best gift in the world.
Until she ditched him, yet again.
“Next time you see her,” he began again, “because undoubtedly, you will, just call her Emilia and act like you didn’t just have the best sex of your life. Just go on about your business as if everything is fine in the tiny town of Silver Ridge.”
He blew out a gust of air and groaned. What had become of Josh Turner? Here he was again, unable to focus on anything but Hailee or Emilia or whoever she was.
“I don’t know which I like better.” He shook his head. “Hailee or Emilia.”
“Well, it’s good you don’t have to choose right away.” Her voice smacked him in the back of the head, and he spun around slowly to see her holding a tray with two cups of espresso and two croissants.
“You’re here?” His brows shot up in total surprise.
“Was I not supposed to be?” She cocked her head and handed him an espresso. “I’m sure I could call Lenny to pick me up.”
All the anger and frustration immediately evaporated, and he took away the tray from her.
“I just had the worst fifteen minutes of my life.” He grinned, pulling Hailee into him.
She giggled and her eyes connected with his. “Why’s that?”
“I thought you left again.”
Her gaze dropped to the floor, and Josh felt her body tense up.
What did he say wrong? Should he not have been honest?
“I wouldn’t do that twice to a person.” Her gaze returned to his, and she kissed him softly, and every part of him wanted more. As if she could sense it, Hailee’s mouth broke from his. “I’ll give you fair warning next time.” She winked at him and stepped away, not realizing she’d just caused another fissure in his heart. He didn’t want there to be a next time. He wanted this to work, whatever this was.
“You’re trouble.” He shook his head, taking a bite of croissant. “I just heard from your boss that your next deadline has been pushed back.”
She narrowed her eyes at him, her lip curling slightly. “Really? I don’t remember Suzanne emailing me.”
Josh laughed and took everything in about Hailee. It was as if the years hadn’t escaped them both. He loved that she’d let her natural strawberry blonde see the light of day. Her soft brown eyes glinted with excitement that he recognized from so long ago. He was happy to know that she was able to move forward with whatever text she received from her parents last night.
“I have to get back to New York. We have a writer who’s not meeting his deadlines. But I’ll be back out to Silver Ridge in a few days.”
“It sounds like a chronic problem in the industry.”
Josh laughed and nodded. “It can be.”
She let out a long, wistful sigh and twirled strands of her hair as she sipped her espresso. The expression in her eyes changed a
s she thought about something she wasn’t revealing to him.
“It’s just hard to believe I’m back in Silver Ridge.” Her brown eyes connected with his. “I’ve spent so long trying to escape the memories there, and now I’m jumping right back in by buying my grandparents’ home.”
“I’m sure it’s a lot.” He pressed his lips together and observed her. “But what memories are you so set on running away from? Was it me? Did I do something to you? I tried so hard to be there after your grandparents passed, but I was a kid. I didn’t really know how to act, I suppose.”
Her expression looked horrified. “Oh, Josh. You got me through it. You were incredible, and so was Dakota.” She shook her head. “If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have made it.”
“Then why leave?”
She just shrugged and waited a few seconds before speaking.
“Why New York?” Emilia asked, her brows rising.
“You said you had to escape the memories of the town?” Josh repeated.
She nodded.
“I had to escape the memory of you.” He drew a breath and stepped closer to her. Everything about Hailee called to him. The gentleness of her soul, the kind expression in her eyes, the heat rolling off her body. “And New York was the farthest place I could go.”
Emilia looked away and sniffed. He hadn’t expected what he was about to see as she quickly touched the tip of her nose with the back of her hand.
He’d made her cry. The one thing Josh had vowed not to do. But he had no idea what he said that would make her cry, yet he didn’t stop going.
“You were my world, Hailee. I wanted you to be my forever, and then you left.”
She brought her teary eyes back to his and shook her head. “I know, and I’m so sorry. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let go of everything holding me in the past until I know you accept my apology. That you could forgive me.”
“Hailee, I forgave you the moment you left me. It’s just…” He wiped his brow and shook his head. “I just couldn’t forget you.”
Chapter Twenty-One
A Funny Thing About Love (Silver Ridge Series Book 3) Page 14
