by Charles Dean
“Ha ha ha ha, told you that you should have taken the warp back earlier.” Augustus laughed as the girl scooted over to his side of the bed and snuggled up to him, essentially turning him into the little spoon in an impromptu cuddle. It’s something he’d normally complain about as any man should rightfully be the big spoon, but given her condition and how men had treated her, he didn’t complain. There was also the fact that he didn’t want to wake up in thirty minutes with a completely numb arm.
“Go ahead, look that way. I’ll take a picture and send it to Miller and Ling. I bet they will both get a kick out of that face you’re making right now,” Augustus taunted.
Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, old man. Lee glowered at the wall since he couldn’t exactly face the noncorporeal Augustus, but then the glower and his consciousness faded moments later as he quickly fell asleep.
He turned over when he woke up, still expecting to see Amber in bed, but she wasn’t there. Instead, he saw that the outer layer of his armor that he had haphazardly tossed on the floor before crawling into bed was neatly stacked in a chair next to a now-open window, and a cup of tea and a plate of leftover food that he had cooked the night before had been placed nearby.
“I could get used to waking up like this,” he thought aloud as he took in a breath of the fresh morning air. “I’m not saying I wouldn’t have preferred my bed back home, but this ain’t bad.”
“Still going to think that way when I tell you Ling was the one who brought up the food and tea? And she saw you and Amber in the bed together?” Augustus cackled.
“What? Really?” Lee bolted up and started putting on his armor like he had just been caught cheating.
“No, I’m just messing with you,” he laughed. “Amber woke up from a nightmare about an hour ago and gave up on sleeping. She’s been super productive ever since, and she was the one that brought it up.” His cackle continued echoing in Lee’s ear. “But you should have seen your face when I suggested that. Priceless! You know I’m taking pictures of all your best moments? We can sit down one day, deity and demigod, and have a nice time scrolling through them. We can even show them off at family gatherings. You’d like that, right?”
“You know I’m possibly going to die today because of your stupid religion? Could you at least cut me some slack?”
“Well . . . I could. I already have, actually. I used a little of your accumulated Faith to bring over a ton of pre-cooked bacon and waffles for you. I know you probably wanted to save all the Faith for trips home, but I went ahead and made an executive decision. If you’re going to die in my name, at least no one can say I didn’t treat you right if you die with a belly full of bacon and waffles. Don’t worry about the syrup: the chef had a bunch of fruit sauces in the cupboard. Stupid health nuts and their love of fruits. Anyway, check your inventory and have some fun. These people here have been eating the same health nut stuff for so long that a good slab of bacon and some waffles might get you another zealot.”
“Thanks,” Lee said and headed downstairs. When he arrived, he noticed that everyone was already awake and eating.
Even Miller was acting rowdy and energetic despite the fact that he had stayed up for thirty-six hours and consumed over a dozen twenty-ounce beers the night before. It was enough to guarantee most men a hangover, yet there he was in the middle of the room, ready to announce Lee’s presence right when he came down the stairs.
“If it isn’t the man of the hour! The man with the murder plan!” Miller shouted happily. “Now, tell us who and how we’re going to kill today! Is the fort a long way off? Are there things to kill in between us and it?”
CRAP! I knew I forgot something! Lee stared at Miller and the expectant group.
“Well, before we get to that, I’ve got some goodies straight from Augustus for everyone. He said that, since you might die in his name, the least he could do was send you out with a full belly of the best food.”
Lee walked around to each person there and loaded their plates up with bacon and waffles. Even though there were around thirty people, he still had plenty of leftover bacon and waffles in his inventory afterward.
“More food? For a god of alcohol, you think he’d bless us with a beer sometime,” one of the people Lee didn’t recognize said. “That is, I thank Augustus for such a wonderful gesture,” he quickly added, correcting his attitude when every eye in the room swiveled to him the moment he complained.
“Easy on the man. He brings up a good question, but he’s missing something. You see, we’re not here to celebrate or worship.” Lee grabbed a beer and chugged it in order to get the charisma bonus from Appreciative Drunk before starting his speech. “We’re here to have one last solemn meal with friends and family before we go to what will inevitably be the last confrontation for at least some of us.”
He hated that he couldn’t give rousing speeches like they did in books and movies. If my charisma is high enough, will it matter how bad my speech is? He carried on, passing out bacon as he moved around the room. “Which is why I’m not going to give you a speech today about winning. That’s not what today is about. I’m not going to tell you that we’ll be celebrating victory tonight or toasting a wonderful and amazing triumph. No, tonight will be a war of survival, and there will be no victory for the defender. Tomorrow will be worse than today, no matter what we do, but we still have to go out there and do it.
“That’s why Augustus didn’t bring you liquor: because you need a clear head when you commit yourself to this. Don’t let yourself be pressured or forced into the fray. Go in with both eyes open. That way, if it is your turn to die, you can die with a clean mind and sound conscience. If you don’t go, if you don’t risk it, well . . . ask the people who came back from the mines what happens in the world where this other Herald wins. Ask them what will become of your life if he has his way, and we don’t stop him. Even if it isn’t your life, it’ll be your neighbor’s, your friend’s or your wife’s. I’m here representing Augustus and telling you that today is not about victory: it’s about survival. And we will survive. Tomorrow, those of us who make it back will sleep comfortably in bed with the knowledge that no one is going to kidnap our daughters in the night or take our uncles from the fields. That’s what we’re fighting for, and that’s why I’ve called you here to join me.” Lee stopped and took a deep breath as he looked around at everyone. He felt awful lying about this, but he did his best to make sure his face didn’t show it.
“You’re here for the same reason I had the captured kill the guard when I rescued them: because Augustus won’t do it for you. He sent me here to free your town from these chains. I came back to life to lead you to this battle, but I can’t make you fight for it. I will show you the way, but like Augustus, I will not do it for you. You need to muster your courage, rally your strength and conquer your enemies. When they are all dead, and their ambitions of your destruction are laid before your feet, then you shall be able to have peace once more. That’s the battle that awaits you, and that’s the reason you have to do it with a clear mind.”
Lee finished his speech and waited while everyone quietly thought it over. After a moment without any reaction, he sat down and looked at Miller, who was watching everyone else and was just as quiet as they were.
The silence persisted for almost five minutes until Miller broke it. “Oh, come on!” He stamped the ground in frustration like he was known to do, but no drunken shout accompanied it this time. “He’s rescued your loved ones, he’s brought you the best food on earth . . . I mean, this bacon is amazing, and I don’t even know what to make of these blue-dotted fluffy treats, but they’re delicious too. He’s even brought you the gift of a noble, guilt-free battle where you can kill as many people as you want, and this is your reaction? Don’t tell me I’m eating and drinking with a bunch of cowards. Is that it?” Miller’s frustration and anger was a stark contrast to Lee’s earlier calm demeanor. “If you’re not angry and ready to go out there and kill the bastards responsible, then I don�
�t know what is wrong with you, but I don’t want you drinking with me and pretending to be devoted to my god. My god wouldn’t tolerate this, so if you’re not pumped up and ready for battle, then you should get out of here before you dampen my mood and take away from my glory.”
His speech was angry and threatening, but silence persisted for another twenty seconds until Amber spoke. “We know what awaits us. We’re not strong, and we’re not fighters. We’re farmers, hunters, gatherers, and also, though not by choice, miners. We sew, stitch and work leather. I know that battle is easy for you, but it isn’t for us. It’s easy for you to talk about it, but be easy on them. If they weren’t committed, they wouldn’t be sitting here with you. But that doesn’t make the decision any easier when we know that half of us dying would still be a good battle.” Her voice was like a melody as she pleaded with Miller for patience.
“I don’t need excitement or glory. I don’t care about the risks. Just let me kill until I die,” Henslee said from her side of the table.
Yep, full suicide watch for her. Lee’s expression sank. “Look, if you want to come with us, that’s fine. If you don’t, no one will think less of you.”
“I will,” Miller said, contradicting him.
Lee glared at Miller and repeated himself. “I said, no one will think less of you.”
“Fine, no one will think less of you. Except you. You’ll think less of you,” Miller said. “Whatever. Don’t ruin my mood. Bacon, beer and . . . What are these things?”
“Waffles. They’re blueberry waffles,” Lee replied.
“Right. Bacon, beer and blueberry waffles before battle should have us all pumped up, so don’t ruin my mood with this atmosphere. Drink, be merry, and have fun. Tonight, we go kill some people in Augustus’s name. What could be better?” Miller added on one last note before he ecstatically dug into his food as if it were the first meal he had eaten in a month.
“I’m probably the weakest guy here,” one of the two men who had stayed behind yesterday began, “but I would be dead already if not for Augustus. If it means that someone else won’t suffer, I’ll do it. I’ll even act as a shield for someone who is going to carry the torch and free the town from this dreadful cloud that hangs over us. Just don’t ask me to pretend like there is something glorious about killing people or dying. Nothing good will happen. It’ll be a roll of the dice that decides which one of us on either side never gets to see their family again and has a group of people that love them that will cry over them not coming home.”
“Hmph.” Miller didn’t like that view at all. “Whatever. Lee, tell me about this fight plan and how we’re going to butcher them inside the castle so these people can feel better going into battle.”
“I’ll tell you when we get closer to the fort,” Lee answered, brushing off the question. He might not have been good at much, but his love for games had made him put off homework for so long that he had more or less become a professional when it came to procrastinating.
——-
Once they got started, delaying the inevitable is exactly what Lee did: even once they got on the road, he drug his feet and took his time as he tried his best to figure out how to siege the fort. The town had proven itself overly generous. The people were more than willing to give him whatever he thought he would need in order to get the revenge that they so desperately craved, but the problem was simply that there weren’t any proper supplies to be had.
He had been able to buy lumber, ladders, and enough rope for a serial killer to practice his craft on an entire town, but those were only the most basic of necessities. There was no one who knew how to craft siege engines like the trebuchets and battering rams that he had heard and read about in movies and books, and he didn’t even know how he’d use the lumber, but his gamer instinct always nagged at him to buy and pick up every miscellaneous item with the pretense that it might be useful in the future; and, if tabletop gaming had taught him anything, it was that he always needed to have rope on hand. He was certain that it would all be useful by the end of the day.
“Okay, Lee, we’re here,” Miller declared gleefully. “Now, are you going to tell us the grand plan to destroy this stronghold and kill everyone inside already? I’ve been itching to know what your next big butchery scheme would be since we burned those guards alive.”
“Well, about that . . .” Lee rocked back on his heels and studied the fort for a moment. He had seen it several times through Ethan’s vision, but now that he was there himself, he was hoping that some grand idea might suddenly come to him.
The fort itself was surrounded by a flat, grassy area that had likely been created when all of the lumber that had been used for its construction was cut down and cleared away. The small plain of grass extended about one-hundred and fifty yards before it reached the fort and provided a natural advantage for the defenders since it meant they had a clear line of sight for a good way, and there was nothing for attackers to hide behind as they approached. To make things worse, the only way in or out that he had found so far was a heavy wooden door. He had briefly considered constructing something to break the door down with, but it looked like it was thicker than the average main character in an anime was when it came to relationships.
“You see . . .” He kicked at the ground, suddenly rather interested in moving a particular rock as he tried to add some extra seconds to his stalling. “First, we first start with . . .” He looked up at the group. “We start with getting the ropes over that wall. But, to do that, we’ll need to . . .”
At that point, Lee started making stuff up as fast as he could. He had no idea what he was talking about, but it was all derived from one crazy scheme he had heard or seen before, and it all sounded good. So good, in fact, that it wasn’t just Miller who was confident about the plan by the time he was done going over everything.
After summing up the plan, the large group made their way to the very edge of the clearing before the fort. While they lacked tactical training and real-world experience operating as a group, they did all have a ton of gear. The town blacksmith had been very kind in donating shields and armor to the ragtag group of commoners, so they were at least able to put together a semi-effective formation. They formed up into two lines, with each person holding the rung of a ladder in one hand and a shield in the other. The most immediate problem was that some of the shields were far too small to be useful in such a situation—in fact, some were super-small bucklers—so there were plenty of gaps in their defense. Lee was obviously concerned with how weak the formation looked, but it was the best that could be done with what they had.
“Don’t worry about them,” Amber said as she came up behind him. “We’ll be there to back them up before anything goes too wrong.” It was the first time she had spoken to him outside of a meeting since the night, and he almost wished he had made it a point to speak to her sooner so that it would be a little less awkward and a little less right before the battle started.
“Yeah, they will be okay, but will you?” Lee looked at Amber before letting his eyes drift to Porter, Miller, Henslee and three other people whose names he had yet to learn.
“We’ll be fine,” Amber said reassuringly. “My mother said that fate always kills the good ones first, so I’m probably last in line to die.”
Huh? Lee was taken aback. He had no idea what would make her say that. She had yet to strike him as anything other than a kind and considerate leader, not the type to be considered a bad person at all. All through the march, and even during the planning and organizational phase, she had been as optimistic and helpful as possible, often making suggestions or helping to assuage other people’s fears—just as she was doing for him now.
Then again, I’ve lied to everyone about a religion so . . . “If you have to be a good person to die in battle, I’ll end up immortal.” It was Amber’s time to look confused, but Lee just laughed at the bad joke.
“Umm . . .” Amber’s mouth twisted around for a minute as she chewed on her lip, appare
ntly at a loss for words. “I’m going to get ready. I was going to wish you luck since I don’t know how many lives you have left, but if you’re immortal, and I’m last in line to die, I suppose I don’t have to worry. See you after the fight, Mr. Boss Who Cannot Die.”
Lee winced as he heard the words leave Amber’s mouth. Now that you’ve phrased it that way, it’s completely a death flag, you idiot. You might as well have been the one in a detective flick who finds out who the mystery killer is and says that you’ll let me know the next day.
“Yeah, see you after the battle, Miss Bed Warmer.”
“Miss Bed Warmer?” Ling asked as she came up right as Amber was leaving. “Did you . . .? And her . . .?” Her head snapped back and forth between the two like an indecisive dog that couldn’t decide which car to chase.
“No, we didn’t have any fun. She just needed someone to keep her company. She’s still—”
“Oh, yeah. I understand.” Ling let out a huge sigh for some reason. “She said she’d keep you safe last night, but I suppose that path can be walked both ways.”
“Yeah, it can. Shouldn’t you be getting ready?”
“I am, but can you promise me something before I go?” Ling asked.
“Sure? I mean, if it’s within reason.”
“When this is over, I need to talk to you about blue boxes. I need to talk to you about this world and what’s going on,” Ling said. “I’m sorry if my reason for wanting to be near you, to stick around you, has been selfish curiosity, but it is. Please don’t die until you answer my questions and take responsibility for what this religion has sprouted in my head.”
Lee forgot to hide the obvious displeasure he felt as he responded. “So, that’s why you’ve been so insistent on staying with me.”
“No, that’s not the only reason, it’s just . . .” Ling stopped talking mid-sentence and looked at the people around her. “Never mind. We can talk about everything later. Good luck, and please don’t die.”
