by JL Brooks
Shepard dragged his fingers against the fabric of my bodice and down my abdomen as I rotated my hips harder against him. Leaning back slightly, he pushed even deeper, causing my teeth to clench. Growing restless beneath me, his hands grabbed my waist and directed the speed in which he wanted me to move. To keep my balance, I placed my hands on his chest and watched as he found his release. I would never tire of witnessing these fragile moments of intimacy.
Rolling me back over to rest beneath him, he panted heavily as he looked down at me from propped elbows. “You never stop surprising me, Violet.” His head lowered into my neck, nuzzling along the curve.
Tracing the outlines of the muscles on his back, I was thinking the same thing…
Chapter 10 - It All Falls Apart
I hummed along with the folk song playing on the radio. The smells of cardamom and chili filled the air as I tested some of the spices we brought back from the trip. Shepard had left a few hours earlier and I busied myself in the kitchen to keep from getting too upset. Each time he left got harder and harder, but the ache would ease slightly a few days later. Thankfully, work would keep me occupied and we could talk in the evening, if only for a few moments. I tried not to chide him for being caught up in us, yet even I was guilty of allowing my daydreams to run rampant.
My sheets were saturated with his scent, making me reluctant to wash them. He was everywhere I looked, because he worked hard with me to make this a home. I thought at the time I was just helping the neighbor’s kid make some extra money in the summers with small projects like painting and rearranging. It had a more intimate meaning now; every room had a distinct set of memories attached to them. The food we ate for lunch, music we listened to, and stories we shared. It had been polite conversation; nothing personal was ever shared. Now knowing how he felt, I wondered how much slipped by me in ignorance.
I barely heard the knock on the door through the sizzling pots and music. Peeking out of the kitchen, I could see a silhouette through the frosted glass. Wiping my hand on my apron, I looked out of the side window to see Shepard’s father, William. Opening the door slightly, the scent of whiskey and cigarettes immediately violated my nostrils.
“Hey Bill, can I help you with something?”
He frowned at my familiar use of his name. I knew it bothered him, but he creeped me out and it was something small I did out of spite. As he wavered a little before bracing his hand on the frame of the door, I regretted answering the knock. I had dealt with inebriated jerks like this multiple times, but never alone. Growing a little nervous, my gut started to tell me something was wrong.
“Maybe you can…”
With a shaking finger he reached up to touch my cheek and ran it down to my neck where the rest of his hands grabbed around my throat. Leaning in closer, I turned my head to get away from his disgusting breath.
“I gotta give that boy credit. I was beginning to think he was a fairy. But you…mmm… that’s impressive. Now why don’t you tell me what he does so well – that way I can show you better.”
I knew Shepard hated his father and I understood why. He was revolting. Before I could stop myself, I spit in his face, which only served to anger him. His constricting grip on my throat was becoming unbearable. Just as I was reaching up to pry his hands away from my neck, his right fist made contact with my cheek and nose. I heard the cartilage and bones crunching like a soda can beneath someone’s feet. Everything happened so quickly, I barely remember screaming and trying to get away.
Grabbing the front of my blouse, another right hook connected with my temple, knocking me down the flight of steps. I felt my head bounce against the concrete and the sting of the salt on the walkway entering the fresh wounds. I wanted to scream again, but the blood choked out any noises leaving my throat. The neighbors must have heard what was happening, because I soon heard sirens approaching. Then a circle of people quickly formed around me, shouting back and forth. I knew my body was shutting down when everything stopped hurting and the overwhelming urge to sleep began. I held on long enough for the ambulance to arrive. Once the red lights began to flash against my house and paramedics started tending to me, I momentarily closed my eyes.
***
I awoke three days later to a darkened world, unable to see or speak. The pain was so unbearable that I reached for something to squeeze with my hands. I was connected to a type of monitor because an alarm immediately sounded. I heard feet shuffle in and around me as the noise was silenced and the voices conversed quietly among themselves.
“I am Doctor Claira Thomas. You have been severely injured. Can you tell me who you are?”
Injured? What? I tried to speak once again, but nothing came out besides coughs and hacking noises.
“Do you need some water? Here, I have a cup. Open your mouth and I will put a straw to your lips, but drink slowly.”
I opened my mouth slightly and felt for the plastic. The sensation of cold water hydrating my parched mouth was like a gift from heaven. She pulled the straw away before I was finished, but promised more in a moment. I had to take it easy.
“Can you tell me who you are now?”
“Violet. Violet Phillips. Where’s Shepard?”
The words felt like nails coming out of my throat. I was confused and in excruciating pain. My voice was so quiet that I felt her lean towards me to listen.
“Shepard?” The woman seemed hesitant but played ignorant. “Where’s Shepard?” I asked once again, feeling the darkness crawl over my consciousness. I didn’t hear her response because I slipped into the void. The sound of low voices speaking angrily pulled me back from the sleepless dream.
“Say what you need to and then you must go. You’re not supposed to be here, but I think it’s best for both of you if you get to say good-bye. She won’t know you were here, but you will know. That has to be enough.”
Fear coursed through my veins as I heard the familiar sound of the female doctor’s voice. Was I dying? This wasn’t happening. I wanted to start screaming, but the pain and drugs kept me motionless.
“I can’t let her go. I promised to take care of her. Who ordered her to be moved? Why can’t I go?” Shepard’s voice was broken and full of agony. I felt his strong hands resting against my cheeks over the bandages.
“Shepard, I’m sorry. Her family authorized it. I know it’s not your fault, but you have to understand – this is out of your hands. She will be taken care of. I promise. I can’t tell you anymore. You have three minutes.”
His trembling lips lightly kissed my forehead and hands. The monitors gave away my racing pulse as I heard him falling apart. Massaging my fingers and palms, over and over again, he confessed his love and apologies. Death would be a welcome respite from the cruel knife twisting in my heart. I prayed for it to come so I didn’t have to listen to him cry.
“I will find you, Violet. I don’t know when or how, but I will. Wait for me please. Don’t give up on us.”
The monitors set off a piercing noise as my pulse began shooting through the roof, alerting the doctor back into the room.
“She can hear me! Violet! Violet! I’m right here, I won’t leave you.”
“You have to go now Shepard, I’m sorry…security!”
The horrific scream coming from him sent me over the edge. This wasn’t real; it was a nightmare. I would wake up and everything would be okay. I kept telling myself, Wake up, Violet. Wake up. My veins began to warm as the void returned to swallow me whole. This was just a bad dream.
***
A few days later, I awakened once again at a strange hospital. I was informed that I was transferred by request to Chicago Loyola Hospital. When I asked who placed the request, no one could find the answer. At first, they kept me in a light coma due to the swelling on my brain, yet I was getting better by the day. A week before my anticipated release, an elegant blond woman entered the room. With a blinding smile, she introduced herself.
“Hello, Violet, my name is Dr. Claira Thomas. I am a neurologis
t here at Loyola. I have been following your case – may we talk?”
Her name sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it. Perhaps she came to a lecture at the school or was connected to the Doc somehow.
It was too painful to do anything more than nod, but it was enough for her to perch along the edge of the hospital mattress. With a clipboard in hand, she glanced at the colorful pages before speaking.
“Do you know why you are here?”
Closing my eyes for a second, the pieces started to fit together. Nodding my head to indicate I understood, she wrote a note on the chart and looked back at me with the emotional indifference required in hospitals.
“Now that you are awake, the police are here to meet with you. Although your incident occurred in Cincinnati, they are able to take your statement in order to prosecute William Leone. Right now, he’s there in custody. Thankfully there was a neighbor outside who witnessed the entire altercation and called for help. If you were out there much longer, it could have been much worse.”
She stood and walked to the door, calling in the two blue uniformed officers. Rather than leaving as I expected, she sat in the corner and took notes the entire time. Protocol normally indicated that it wasn’t a physician’s place to become involved in domestic affairs, but she seemed curious. After they left, she told me to rest and she would be back in the morning.
The next day, she arrived with a handful of attorneys in tow. They were dressed too well to simply be court appointed. When inquiring who was paying my fees, I was told a benefactor had stepped forward and insisted I be taken care of. Before I could investigate more, the unthinkable happened. Dr. Thomas came back into the room, looking solemn. I raised the bed to find out what had shaken this supposedly impenetrable woman.
“Violet, I am sorry to tell you this, but William Leone committed suicide today. You will be released tomorrow.”
She exited immediately without saying another word, leaving me alone to process the information. Suddenly, I wished for them to put me back into a coma where nothing existed, not even dreams. Shepard’s father was dead and it was my fault. Sharp bolts of pain stabbed my brain as the blood vessels filled from my crying. I hit the call button and begged the nurse for more drugs.
“I am sorry, Ms. Phillips. We have to hold off until the lawyers leave, and you have to be of sound mind.”
I felt sorry for the woman when the pain exceeded my threshold. The anger only exacerbated it, causing me to spiral even more out of control.
“Screw those lawyers; I didn’t even hire them anyway. A man, who is now dead, beat the shit out of me and took his own damn life. I don’t know where my boyfriend is and no one wants to tell me! Give me some fucking drugs!”
She looked at me with pity as Dr. Thomas raced in the room at my outburst. Holding a syringe full of sedative, she pushed the plunger down quickly into the IV.
Before the world went black, I looked once again to the nurse and smiled.
“Now was that so hard?”
***
My eyes opened to a room full of people, including the high price lawyers and my father. He walked over to my side and clutched my hand with misty eyes.
“When did you get here? Is Shepard with you?”
He looked to Dr. Thomas then back to me before shaking his head.
“Where is he?” My patience had disappeared with the avoidance of the topic. Surely he had to know where I was and what happened.
“Honey, his grandparents are in Nashville with him right now. He’s getting help through the school. Everyone thinks it’s best if you don’t have contact with him anymore.” My dad regretted telling me this. His voice conveyed the tenderness I had grown up with whenever he was giving me guidance. He knew I was in love with Shepard and that this would devastate me.
“No! Who are you to decide what’s best for me? I am not a child!” I stared contemptuously at every face in the room.
Dr. Thomas stepped towards me holding up her hand at the others.
“Violet, this is a very delicate situation. His family is blaming you for William’s death and is filing a lawsuit against you. You cannot afford to compromise your integrity by pursuing a relationship with him.”
Sharp pains began to slice through my body as I jerked upwards too quickly. The adrenaline in my veins was pounding full force, as my mind struggled to take in something so ludicrous.
“With all due respect, Dr. Thomas, you have no idea who I am. You have gone way beyond your scope of practice when it comes to me. I want to be released.”
Her mouth gaped slightly at my response but she remained unmoved. “I know you don’t believe this now, but I really do have your best intentions in mind. You will be released soon enough, but you should know that the Beacon agreed to cover your legal fees with the understanding you would not be returning to the university, due to circumstances. With everything that has happened, UC would prefer to avoid another scandal. Rest assured though, you are not going to be left out in the cold. Mr. Gladstone here is the CEO of Beacon and a dear friend of the late Dr. Robertson. I am sure you remember him.”
My anger towards this woman was growing at inexplicable proportions. Who the hell was she? I didn’t care about anyone else in this room with the exception of my father and the man who was now approaching me. My benefactor. I was so distracted by everyone else that I failed to recognize his face. I accepted his outstretched hand, which he covered with his other and patted it lightly.
“I know how much you have been through. I heard what happened and I am here to help. I have a place for you in my lab and I promise it will be worthwhile. David loved you very much; it would be an honor for me to take care of you.”
I tried to smile at his kindness but there was nothing happy about this moment.
“I suppose I don’t really have a choice, do I?”
Looking around at the room full of people, I was completely disgusted with what was transpiring; there was something seriously wrong here. The only thing I could be sure of was that this had something to do with Doc and that I should keep my mouth shut and play along until I discovered the truth. If someone wanted to play a game with my life, I would show them how this game was played.
Chapter 11 - The Guest of Honor
~ 6 years later ~
“Answer the door, hooker!” I could hear the rapping get louder and louder as Alessa shouted unnecessary profanities through it. Less than a full minute had passed from the first tap until I touched the metal lock and twisted the knob. The door opened to none other than the knockout who was Alessa Saxton. Her waist length auburn hair was pulled into a purposely disheveled knot while her lithe figure wore a perfectly tailored, strapless, crimson cocktail sheath, finished with a large gold and gemstone crusted bracelet cuff and matching necklace. Looking at me as if nothing were wrong, she batted her eyelashes innocently at my frustrated stance.
“I have neighbors, you know.”
Ignoring my comment, she walked past me into my small studio and looked around with disgust. “I still don’t know why you live in this shithole when I know you make good money.”
I tensed at the honest observation. Alessa was the closest thing I had to a best friend, and even she did not know why I kept this place. I always responded the same. “What’s the purpose of paying a lot for something you don’t use often?”
She never bought it. Here was the woman who was wearing an outfit worth more than eight thousand dollars for just one night. Shaking her head, she walked over to my bed as I grabbed two wine glasses and opened a bottle of Shiraz. I handed her one and she took a sip. “At least you pay for decent wine.” She smiled at me, then grabbed the first garment bag.
“Marc, Narciso, or Christian?”
Not knowing what she was talking about at first, I looked at the labels on the bags. I raised my eyebrow, feigning interest. I hated getting dressed for events. I had one black dress that managed to make me look nice enough, but not enough for anyone to notice I wore it every tim
e. That is, except Alessa. Her face would always take on a form of pity, yet she never said anything…until later, that is.
Style was her strong point; mine was ingenuity. Living under the radar meant being low key in all things. We worked together at Beacon; she was the director of the marketing department and I was now working in product development. Gladstone paid me to finish my PhD in Pharmacology. After working with his chemist, I became extremely fascinated with the process. Having access to large pools of research and development dollars didn’t hurt either.
Alessa and I met at mandatory work retreat, sitting next to each other at the bar one night. I was thankful for her friendship, especially during moments like this. Tonight was the investor’s dinner where I had to present a speech, thanking them for their millions of dollars and faith in my talent. Beacon had been in a decline until I was brought on. Being offered such a prestigious position after losing my job really was divine intervention after all.
“Let’s look at Christian or Narciso first, since it’s the closest a man has come to touching me naked in a while.”
Alessa couldn’t hold back the snort that burst out of her. “Let’s not fool ourselves; your lack of male attention is completely self-induced. You are about as interested in men as I am in becoming your neighbor.”
I took another sip of my wine to keep from saying something foolish. She moaned in pleasure as she pulled on the zipper of the fabric garment bag, revealing a stunning fuchsia pink dress. There was a long slit that came up the front to the middle of the thigh. The back dropped low, with accents of fabric draping off the shoulders. My jaw dropped at how incredibly beautiful it was. The satin material was free of any fuss and looked as though it might actually be comfortable for a few hours.
“Wait, let’s see what else I brought, then try them on. I think you still might pick this one, though.”
