All I wanted was to be left alone with my wine and my pity, thank you very much.
I whipped open the door with a huff of breath and fire in my eyes that I was sure would have made any man piss his pants…and then I almost pissed my own when I saw who was standing on my doorstep.
Zane Price.
My British crumpet—my English muffin—was standing there biting his lower lip with a nervous expression on his face. My anger evaporated in an instant at seeing him for the first time in almost two months.
“Hi,” he said softly, my heart melting at hearing his voice after so long.
I tried to keep my act of aloofness in place, like I had the last time I’d seen him because I wasn’t yet sure if his being here was a good or bad thing. And I didn’t want to be destroyed all over again if he left a second time. But it was hard to pretend like my insides weren’t fluttering around like crazy at seeing him.
It just felt so good to finally see his face again.
“What are you doin’ here?”
I’d assumed that he didn’t want to talk to me after I called him all those weeks ago and he never called me back. I figured that was the last nail in the coffin of our relationship and that I would never hear from him again. The last thing I expected was for him to just show up out of nowhere.
“I came to see you,” he answered. “Can I come in?”
His eyes were desperate and pleading as he waited for my reaction. A woman had to have sheer iron will to turn away a man like Zane when he looked at her like that.
And I didn’t.
But I was suddenly burning up and thought that I’d feel better standing out in the cool temperature. So, I stepped forward onto the top step, forcing him to take a step back, and closed the door behind me.
“We can talk out here.” I crossed my arms over my chest, wishing I had grabbed my jacket before I came out, and waited for him to speak.
He let out a deep breath and looked straight into my eyes. “I came here to apologize. For what happened before I left.”
If all he came here to do was say he was sorry in an effort to clear his conscience, I was prepared to kick him right off my front steps. I couldn’t handle that on top of everything else.
I shrugged, the action taking extreme determination. “Nothin’ to apologize for. You had to leave and you said goodbye. You didn’t owe me more than that.”
He made a move to come closer but he stopped himself, his jaw clenching in frustration. “Yes, I did. I owed you so much more than that. I owed it to you to tell you how I felt, and I’m apologizing for being too scared to say any of it.”
I wouldn’t have realized that I had stopped breathing if it wasn’t for the absence of white puffs floating in front of my face.
I could feel my body start to tremble but it wasn’t from the cold.
“H-How you felt?” I whispered, hardly managing to even get that out through my nerves.
His face softened as he took in my apprehensive expression. This time he did take a step forward, bringing himself directly into my personal space and instantly warming me up.
“Yes, how I felt. How I still feel.”
He took my frozen hands in his and rubbed them with his fingers, allowing circulation to once again flow. It felt as if that’s what he was slowly doing to my whole body, especially my fragile heart. Warming it up, rejuvenating it, bringing it back to life.
For the first time in months, hope was blooming inside my chest.
But I was terrified to believe in it.
“And…how do you feel?”
His smile was slow and purposeful, like memories were whizzing through his head and his smile got a little bigger with each one he remembered.
“Like there’s no point to my life if you’re not in it.”
My heart was beating so fast, I was sure he could tell what those words did to me if he just put his hand over it.
“I haven’t laughed in months,” he continued. “I’ve barely smiled. Because those belong to you. You own all of my laughs and my smiles. My happiness, you’re responsible for it. And I’ve come to ask if you’d be willing to take that responsibility on.” His hand came up to cup my face, his thumb caressing my jawline. “Because I miss laughing, Bea. I miss being happy with you.”
I had to bite down on my lip hard to contain all of the emotion that was threatening to burst forth. “I haven’t gone out once since you left.”
He didn’t miss a beat at my random statement. He always understood my quirkiness and he was always right there with me. He knew that I would eventually make my point, just usually in a roundabout way.
“I haven’t cared to go dancing or play sports or drink anything but wine. I’ve never had a problem with doin’ anything by myself. But after you left, all of a sudden I didn’t want to do any of it without you there with me. I didn’t care to have fun if it wasn’t with you.” I leaned my cheek into his palm, seeking that comfort and warmth. “I’m broken, Zane. This is me broken. And you need to fix it. Please.”
His smile was blinding. It was one of those moments where I expected dozens of white doves to suddenly burst into the sky all around us or a church choir to surround us and start singing “Hallelujah!”
But really, that smile of his and his strong arms wrapping around me were magic enough.
“I believe I can do that.”
We started to lean in for a kiss—something I had been craving since he took those first steps away from me in that park—but paused, my hands on his chest stopping his forward momentum.
“What about your father? Don’t you need to be there for him?”
Again with that smile. “He’s going to be fine. It seems that he fell in love, as well. He has a good woman taking care of him, so he doesn’t really need me anymore.”
I didn’t hear anything after that one word.
And he damn well knew it, the cheeky bastard.
“You’re in love with me?”
I hated that my voice had come out shaky, but I was lucky that my legs were still able to hold me up after the shock that sentence had delivered.
“Oh, didn’t I say that?” He didn’t even try to stifle his laughter.
I smacked his chest but couldn’t contain my laughter either. “No, you didn’t.” My eyes went downcast, concentrating on the crack in the cement as I asked in a small voice, “But you are?”
His finger lifted my chin, forcing my eyes to once again meet his and I was struck by the emotion in them. I would never be able to doubt his feelings after I saw the amount of both love and desire shining in those eyes.
“I am, Bea. And I want to stay here with you, if you’ll have me.”
“What about your job?”
“I’m going to resume managing the D.C., New York, and Atlanta branches over here. My boss was impressed with the spike in revenue at the three branches since I temporarily took over last year, so he was okay with me making it a permanent situation.”
It was everything I wanted to hear, but it was so hard to swallow. It was hard to accept that anyone would uproot their life for me like that. A part of me didn’t want to believe it was real, but the bigger part of me knew that Zane would never do anything to intentionally hurt me.
“And you’re okay with leaving your home like that? Leaving everything you know?”
I couldn’t stand it if he ever resented me for taking him away from his life in England. It would crush me.
His expression became stern as he stared down at me. I had almost forgotten how tall he was. I had to crane my neck back slightly to make eye contact.
“It doesn’t really matter where I live, as long as you’re there with me. Moving my possessions and switching jobs isn’t a big deal if it gives me you.”
It was that exact moment when two pigeons took off in flight from their perches on the stoop stairwell—only feet from our faces, making us both jump in surprise—and flew up into the sky. I had to laugh at the irony.
Apparently, the be
st I could do were pigeons.
They may not have been perfect white doves but Zane and I weren’t perfect…so the moment was perfect for us.
Either way, I took it as a sign.
He brought his mouth down to mine, joining our lips for the first time in months, although it had felt like years. He tasted the same way I remembered: like cinnamon and masculinity. This kiss felt different than any other we had ever shared before, though. This was even more intense, if that was possible. It was controlled by our deep emotions and fueled by our repressed desires for each other.
That passion between us hadn’t died out, not in the least.
In fact, it had only gotten hotter, flared brighter now. Our hunger for the other felt more necessary.
Because this was the first time we’d been given permission to claim each other. And I could tell it was having a very primitive, carnal effect on Zane and fulfilling a deep-seeded, long-since buried need within me.
I figured we should move the party inside when we started grinding against each other outside in broad daylight, with who knows how many homely old women and innocent little kids watching.
I pulled back and smiled at Zane’s kiss-swollen lips. “I love you too, you know.”
Those hazel eyes of his sparkled down at me. “I know.”
“Are we really doing this?”
He rested his forehead against mine and pulled me in tighter. “We really are, luv.”
##
“Come on!” I yelled at Felicity. “Move those short little stubs faster!”
“This is as fast as I go! Sorry, I don’t have freakishly long Amazon legs!”
My sister trailed after us as we all scrambled behind the makeshift shelter on the paintball field.
“I happen to love those freakishly long Amazon legs,” Zane purred in my ear, leaning in close to trail his tongue along my earlobe while his hand crept up my thigh.
Zane was the only man who had ever been able to make me blush. And apparently all it took was a few sexual comments in front of a group of his soccer buddies and my sister to do it.
“Gag,” Felicity mumbled not-so-quietly as she tightened her goggles, making the rest of the guys snicker.
I ignored her and smiled back at my boyfriend of two weeks, whispering everything I would do to him once I got him home later. When his face turned red, I knew it wasn’t from embarrassment. No, that was a tell-tale sign that he was getting turned on, which was confirmed two seconds later when he adjusted himself in his jeans.
That will teach him to work me up in front of people.
He glared at me, frustration emanating from his crouched position, and I had to mentally applaud myself for my ability to tie him into knots.
“That southern drawl of yours is going to kill me,” he growled at me. “You shouldn’t say things like that with such an accent. It’s dangerous.”
I raised an eyebrow at him. “Ditto, mate.”
He chuckled and rolled his eyes as he took a drink from our bottle of water and then passed it to me.
“You lied, by the way. You’ve totally done this before,” I hissed at him.
He and his buddies were acting like a special ops unit for crying out loud. The commands they gave each other and even the hand signals they were using spoke of a group who had definitely done stuff like this more than once.
He smirked at me, a look on him that was too damn sexy it wasn’t even fair. Not when I couldn’t do anything about the growing need to suddenly take him inside me, right here in this damn field.
“I wasn’t lying, but did I mention that we all played a lot of video games at university?” he asked, gesturing to the group of men around us.
“Let me guess. A lot of Halo and Call of Duty?”
“You got it, luv.”
He landed a quick peck on my lips before he scooted over to his friends to work on our strategy for how to take down the only other team left on the field.
We had managed to obliterate the other three teams and only lose two players in the process. It didn’t matter if the only prize for the victors was epic bragging rights; my competitive side would not let me lose.
“I never thought I’d see the day that Beatrice Paxton was all googly-eyed over a man,” came Felicity’s voice from beside me.
She knew I hated being called by my full name. “Those are sex eyes you’re seein’. Not googly eyes.”
She groaned. “Spare me.”
I just smiled back. “You asked for it.” Then, something occurred to me out of nowhere. “Now that you bring it up, shouldn’t you be gettin’ all googly-eyed yourself by now?”
Her head turned in my direction, confusion written all over her face. “What are you talkin’ about?”
My laugh was maniacal. Torturing her was too fun and too easy. “Our deal. The night of the debate. You said that when I became a one-man woman you would ask out Gabe Wexler. Well,” I said, waving my hand over at Zane, “there’s only one man over there that I want. So, when is that date goin’ to be?”
She snorted and stood up, dusting herself off. It was a good thing that she was so short because otherwise she’d be giving the other team a decent target to shoot at.
“That wasn’t for real, Bea. We were just jokin’.”
“I wasn’t jokin’. And I bet if we called Gwen right now, she’d say the same thing. So, how about it, Sis?”
She wouldn’t meet my eyes. “I’m not doin’ it.”
“Oh, come on. You too scared to ask him out?” And just like when we were kids, I did the one thing that I knew would annoy her beyond all reason. “Felicity and Gabe sittin’ in a tree. K-I-S-S—”
I heard three quick poofs of air and too late realized what had just happened as I looked down at the vest covering my chest.
There were three large red paint stains on my black vest.
She shot me! Knowing that it would take me out of the game.
I looked back up at her, mouth ajar, in total disbelief. She had the nerve to have the sweetest, most deceptively angelic smile on her face as she blew out a relieved breath, her shoulders slumping, like shooting me had somehow made her feel better.
“Well, I guess you’re right, Bea. A deal is a deal.”
As soon as she saw the murderous look in my eyes, hers widened in horror. She released a sharp squeal and took off at a sprint in the opposite direction. I sprung to my feet and dashed after her.
“Yeah, you better run, Shortstack! There’s no mercy for traitors!”
As soon as we hit the clearing of the field, it was utter chaos. We were both attacked with yellow paint from the other team, pellets flying at us in all directions. I could barely see through the yellow and red-tainted warzone, as all I could focus on was hitting Felicity as many times as I could.
All of a sudden, we heard a long string of manly war cries coming from the direction of the shelter we were just at, breaking through the clearing.
“I’m coming, Bea!” Zane yelled over the pandemonium, all Braveheart-like.
I won’t lie, it was hot.
“Damn,” I muttered under my breath, watching him shoot our enemies with surprising accuracy.
“Oh my God, stop with the sex eyes!” Felicity shouted and shot me twice in the leg, the sting of the pellets making me hiss.
“Go out with Gabe!” I yelled back, getting her once in the arm and once on her shoulder.
“Never!”
The only thing that saved her ass was the fact that our team still ended up winning, with only two of our guys left, Zane being one.
The day ended with a body covered in welts, my bed full of Zane, and Felicity on the phone with Gabe.
I impressed even myself with my powers of persuasion on that last one.
I loved winning.
##
Unexpected Love (Timid Souls #3), Felicity and Gabe’s story, comes out July 27, 2016!!
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Also, coming soon from Melanie Munton…
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laying for Kinley (Cruz Brothers #1)
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Timid Souls novellas:
Stubborn Hearts
Possession and Politics Trilogy:
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
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Acknowledgments
As always, to my husband, Sean, you continue to be that rock, that support system that keeps me going and never lets me get discouraged. I will never be able to thank you for all that you do for us. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner in life
To my entire family back home—Mom, Dad, Tymon, Kim, Taylor, Oliver, and all of my grandparents—I couldn’t ask for more unwavering love and encouragement than you’ve all shown and given me from the beginning. Throughout this first year, you’ve been nothing but the steadfast, positive support system that I have needed, and I can’t begin to tell you how much it has meant to me. Having you all behind me, having faith in me and uplifting me every step of the way, makes all of this worth it.
To all of my other family and friends from Cabool to Carthage, from Springfield to St. James to Steelville and everywhere else in between, thank you all so much for your love and support throughout the years. You’ve all been a huge inspiration to me and this journey I’m now embarking on and you continue to be as I move forward. The memories you’ve all given me will always serve as a reminder of what an amazing support system I have and the fact that I have some of the best people in the world in my corner.
To L.J. at Mayhem Cover Creations, thank you so much for working with me on the cover designs! You have been spectacularly awesome from the very first day I contacted you, and you’ve alleviated so much of my stress, so I just can’t thank you enough! You’re pretty much amazing and I look forward to future covers.
Casual Affair (Timid Souls Book 2) Page 11
