by S C Gowland
‘It can wait for another day,’ he waved his hand.
Tokel nodded and pursed her lips.
‘Or maybe never.’ said Kubrean solemnly.
***
Outside the breeze was cool. But it did little to temper the heat burning in Kaoldan’s chest. He walked and staggered, his feet strangely lazy beneath him. His chest felt tight, a great weight pressing against it. His breath became ragged. He paused after a dozen paces and rested against a trestle clad wall with pink flowers climbing towards the sky, he bent over and crouched on his knees.
Breathing deeply and quickly.
A million thoughts and emotions racing around his head; why, when, how, fear, anger, frustration, swirling around.
He closed his eyes tightly to shut out the world around him.
Black, orange and yellow colours swirled and mingled like oils on water in front of his eyes, the sound of blood rushing around his body the only sound. A coldness swept over him. He forced his mind to slow and concentrated on his breathing to regain control.
Slowly he regained his composure and stood up then opened his eyes to see Tokel stood quietly in front of him, her face serious.
‘What do you want?’ asked Kaoldan irritably.
‘To check you are ok.’ said the old woman simply.
‘I think you know the answer to that.’ said Kaoldan.
‘Maybe I do, but I still wanted to know for sure.’
‘He shouldn't have done it.’ said Kaoldan looking to the sky then at his friend.
‘Maybe not but I am sure he wanted to tell you sooner. Not everything has gone as we hoped it.’
Reluctantly Kaoldan nodded slightly and slowly.
‘It is good news really.’ offered Tokel with a weak smile.
Kaoldan stifled a small laugh. ‘You think so?’ he said glancing at her.
‘Yes.’
Kaoldan snorted.
‘It is the right time, if not the best time. I am sure that he would have preferred to tell you at a better time and under different circumstances. But sometimes things don’t go the way we hope. He hardly had control over everything did he?’
‘Maybe not but things could have been different.’
‘Something I am sure you have said yourself on occasion.’ offered the old woman concern etched on her face.
‘Perhaps.’ shrugged Kaoldan
‘Well then. The decision, like it or not, is out of your hands. Go with it and see where it leads. It may not be as bad as you fear.’ said Tokel, moving to a stone bench and taking a seat, head raised towards the sunshine which peaked over the side of battlements into the garden. She gestured to him patting a space beside her.
‘And for the record, like it or not, I do agree with Kubrean.’ she raised her hands defensively. ‘This may not be what you want, but it may be what you need. They can’t stay sheltered forever. Time has passed and both you and they have changed. They are not children anymore, rather highly spirited young women who do need to get to know their father again.’
‘How do you know this?’ queried Kaoldan moving to take a seat beside her.
‘I don’t have to tell you everything do I?’ said Tokel mysteriously, lightly tapping the side of her nose with her index finger.
‘It would be helpful, sometimes.’ said Kaoldan, ‘might save outburst like that.’ he nodded towards the room they had both left. ‘And.’ he turned wiggling his finger ‘you must teach me that spell.’ He stretched out his arms. ‘Felt like I was clamped between two anvils.’
‘Hmm….’ nodded Tokel absently. ‘As you wish... I have been in touch with them since they left. Letters mainly, given the distance only two or three a year at most. They miss you even if they don’t realise it. They need their father and you need to be a family again.’
‘They need safety.’ said Kaoldan stubbornly.
‘Do they?’ asked Tokel. ‘Can they really be kept safe forever. Hidden away from the world like precious treasures. You do know the profession they have entered?’ pressed the old woman sliding closer to him. ‘Hardly one for the safety conscious is it.’ she said with a half-smile.
‘Not much any of us can do about that.’ said Kaoldan ‘It’s just something in the blood.’ he said raising his hand and wiggling his fingers towards the sunshine.
‘A nice academic post then, somewhere out of the way perhaps?’ asked Tokel.
Kaoldan shrugged indifferently, his chest lighter blood no longer racing.
‘Because something like that would have worked for you at their age.’ said Tokel. A smile crept onto Kaoldan’s face as he conceded the point.
‘So then, where are we?’ asked Tokel tilting her head to one side.
‘A place no-one is particularly happy with.’ offered Kaoldan.
‘Perhaps, but a place we all knew we would end up eventually.’ said Tokel looking intensely at Kaoldan, searching his face for a response. ‘Do something for me would you?’ she asked.
Kaoldan’s head rose, and he looked at his friend.
‘Don’t be too angry with him. He is only doing what he thinks is best.’ said Tokel. ‘Like it or not he is a Grey Master.’
Kaoldan nodded. ‘It will pass.’ he assured Tokel placing a hand on top of hers. ‘We have got through far worse situations than this.’ he paused and frowned. ‘I think sometimes fighting is easier than talking.’
‘Good to hear and to an extent I do agree.’ smiled Tokel rising to her feet and slowly moving towards the door. She paused and turned towards him.
‘And do pass on my kindest regards to the girls when you see them. I think you may be pleasantly surprised by this.’ The old woman looked at Kaoldan, her eyes kind yet wary. The stare lasted for a fraction too long before she bowed her head and turned towards the exit, shuffling on the grass.
She turned once more before opening the door, raising her hands together then pressed the top of her fingers to her head than heart, before releasing them, as if scattering seeds, gesturing towards Kaoldan with a slight bow. ‘Good journey.’ she said, eyes watery and reflective.
‘Good journey.’ responded Kaoldan out of habit, slightly perplexed as he returned the blessing.
Tokel nodded then briskly turned and exited through the large wooden door with a solid thud.
The use of the journey blessing confused Kaoldan, it was a Walker tradition but was hardly ever used and this unsettled him. Today had been full of surprises and this little puzzle just added to the complexities of the day. Kaoldan raised his head to the skies and closed his eyes, letting out a slow and deliberately controlled breath.
Nothing else to do now but get on with the instructions he had been given.
He relaxed and set his mind, but the nerves in his guts remained.
Chapter 10 – Hello Again
Trees, trees and more trees. As far as the eye could see.
Tall ones, short ones, pointy ones, wide ones, narrow ones and twisty ones.
Green ones, very green ones and brown ones.
Kaoldan shook his head. This journey had felt like a lifetime. Each day they had been surrounded by trees and hills; rolling hills for three, almost four weeks and it was a whole new level of tedium. Kaoldan glanced over his shoulder and spied Kubrean laughing alongside Kryst, their pantheras plodding along slowly and he grimaced.
They had left Thura quickly after the instructions from Duke Lomman and barely a day later found themselves on the long and dull journey to Prava and in all that time he and Kubrean had hardly spoken a word.
The group was small; Kubrean, Zalen Dalon, Kryst and a stubborn magical dog. They had made quiet and so far, uneventful progress, the grasslands changing into steeper hills which had slowly given way to the biggest forest Kaoldan had ever seen. Such was the density of the trees, the canopy thick and continuous, providing amazing protection from the rain but he swore he hadn’t seen the sun for over a week.
He had given the most simplistic and perfunctory of apologies for the punch, then simply followed
instruction without comment nor question; deliberately choosing tasks to ensure their time together was as limited as possible, night time guard duties, scouting, errands - anything to keep a distance between them.
In truth it had been difficult to maintain, Kaoldan really wanted to speak to Kubrean about his decision; why, how, when. But the decision had driven a wedge between them, and he had yet to come to terms with it. During the time he had taken away from Kubrean, he had tried to understand and see why he had taken the decision, but he could not or would not get his head around it.
Keeping the girls at Vanguard had always been a decision that made sense to everyone. Kubrean had even been the one to suggest it, but now with one decision he had dismantled something that had worked well for all concerned for six years.
He had to admit the prospect of seeing his daughters again filled him with equal amounts of fear and excitement. It had been a long time, too long if he was really being honest, not that he was willing to admit that to anyone - especially Kubrean. The last time he had seen them they had been young girls, barely in their teens. Dutiful and enthusiastic, they had gone along with the suggestion and the wishes of their father.
It had been an easy and straight forwards decision at the time. His wish and want to keep them as safe and far away from danger and the big wide world as much as possible. But that had been before the world had started to change and Kaoldan wondered if anywhere would now be safe. He dismissed the notion, some things do change, but some things do not.
Despite himself and his focus on his duties, and support from Kubrean, Tokel and Nova, Kaoldan had wondered what would have happened if they had stayed with him.
Could he have kept them safe and away from more pain? The truth was he would never know and even thinking through the possibilities began to make his head hurt. The immediate priority had been their safety, that had been all that mattered at the time and he was still convinced it was the right decision.
The girls had always been each other’s best friend, thick as thieves and they needed each other and time far more than a father in the state Kaoldan had been. He had made the right choice he reassured himself, but part of him was now not so sure.
Maybe Tokel had been right, maybe now was the right time for a change, Kaoldan looked up, between the tree tops he could see streams of sunlight poking through the branches. It was certainly not what Kaoldan wanted, but what choice did he have?
‘If I never see another tree in my lifetime, it will be too soon.’ said a voice snapping Kaoldan out of his own little world.
The smiling face of Zalen appeared from the shade and he gestured to their surroundings.
‘Trees.’ he said simply.
‘I had been thinking the same thing.’ said Kaoldan looking around critically. ‘Trees, apparently there is a forest here too.’
‘Really.’ replied Zalen in shock amazement.
Kaoldan smiled and shook his head.
‘Okay, enough avoiding the obvious.’ said Zalen his face turning stern. ‘What’s going on between you and old K back there?’
‘Nothing.’ said Kaoldan, a little too quickly.
‘Rubbish…’ laughed Zalen. ‘There is clearly a problem between you. If even I have noticed it, then it must be serious.’ he said looking rather pleased with himself, and his new powers of deduction.
Even Kaoldan couldn’t argue against this. If it had been noticed by the most unobservant of people, be glanced at a smug Zalen, then there was no avoiding the discussion.
‘He’s taken the decision to bring more Walkers in to help out.’ he said.
‘Really?’ questioned Zalen looking puzzled. ‘Is that it? Sounds like a good idea to me. You can never have too much help.’ he nodded definitely.
‘It’s not what he has brought in, it is who.’ said Kaoldan
‘Whom.’ smiled Zalen triumphantly. ‘I think you’ll find it's whom.’ he said nodding his head, clearly enjoying being proved right for once.
Kaoldan muttered something rude under his breath. ‘The other Walkers will be meeting us in Prava.’ he said.
‘Good.’ said Zalen, considering the information before falling silent.
Kaoldan breathed out a slowly.
‘Anyone we know?’ Zalen asked his face lighting up with enthusiasm.
Kaoldan groaned. ‘Yes. Walkers we know.’ he replied.
‘Excellent.’ replied the big blonde Walker, turning to take in the scenery.
Kaoldan began to settle back into his saddle.
‘Who?’ asked Zalen after a pause. ‘Or should I say whom.’ he smiled and winked at Kaoldan, waiting expectantly for a reply.
There really was no avoiding it.
‘My girls.’ said Kaoldan reluctantly gripping Tren’s reins tighter, glancing at Zalen who stared back curiosity etched all over his face.
‘Really?’
‘Yes, really.’
‘Blimey.’ he said scratching his head. ‘Been a while hasn’t it.’
‘Yes.’ replied Kaoldan sourly.
‘Still. Be nice to see them again. They’ll be what?’ Zalen began counting on his fingers.
‘Old enough to have finished their training.’ said Kaoldan saving him the hassle. It really had been too long.
‘Really.’ exclaimed Zalen, his eyes widening. ‘They were only a short while away from undertaking their final training, last time I saw them. Funny how time flies.’ He snorted, shaking his head.
Kaoldan jutted his jaw out, muttering as he did so. He narrowed his eyes and looked at Zalen.
‘Has everyone else seen my daughters more recently than me?’ he asked sarcastically.
‘Probably.’ replied Zalen nodding thoughtfully. ‘We’re not supposed to talk about it apparently, on account of what happened.’
His face froze.
He leaned into Kaoldan.
‘Not sure I was meant to tell you that.’ he whispered then he relaxed slightly. ‘Instructions from you know who.’ He winked clumsily and nodded towards Kubrean coughing indiscreetly as he did so. ‘But as we are now meeting them, everything must be alright.’ he said matter-of-factly.
Kaoldan worked the muscles in his jaw. The whole world seemed to know more than he did.
‘How long have I not been told anything?’ He asked Zalen; the cat well and truly let out of the bag.
‘Dunno.’ said Zalen, blowing out his cheeks, face creased thinking hard. ‘Since it happened I suppose. He said it would be best, given what happened’. He nodded and coughed towards Kubrean again.
‘Would you stop that?’ said Kaoldan irritably. ‘I know exactly who you’re talking about.’ he gestured towards a distracted Kubrean.
‘Oh good.’ said Zalen now relaxed, a great weight removed from his shoulders. ‘For a moment I didn’t think you knew who I was talking about.’ he winked. ‘Much easier now. Kubrean said we should not talk about the girls after they went to Vanguard. Easier for you I think he said?’ said Zalen pondering the facts.
‘Can you smell burning?’ asked Kaoldan raising his nose to the air.
‘No.’ said Zalen looking around.
‘Never mind.’ said Kaoldan with a grin.
‘So why are we meeting them?’ asked Zalen a concerned look on his face.
‘I don’t know.’ mused Kaoldan.
‘You haven’t asked him about it?’ said Zalen somewhat surprised.
‘Nope, I’ve been rather afraid to ask that question.’ said Kaoldan slowly while looking thoughtfully at Kubrean.
‘We’ll find out soon enough.’ said Zalen nodding towards the emerging lights in the distance.
They had arrived at Prava.
***
For a centre of learning and academia, Prava was a curious place. Situated at the centre of the largest forest in Essealar, it was a place unlike any other. A large town heading towards being a small city. It spires and taller buildings gradually rose as the canopy of the forest faded away. Surrounded by a stout perimeter wall made of l
arge black rock, towering buildings rose up behind it. At its heart was the university, but not a traditional university in any sense of the term.
It emerged slowly, looming, gigantic and monolithic as the canopy of the forest melted away. It seemed to reach towards the sky challenging threatening as it did so.
It was vast, over a four hundred metres wide at the base, hundreds of metres high, slowly disappearing into the sky; the biggest tree that Kaoldan had ever seen. Vast branches fanned out about two hundred metres, Kaoldan almost twinged his neck as he craned up to take in the view of the skyscraper. The tree had continued to grow over the centuries as the university had been built within and around it, something Kaoldan had always found slightly amusing - the ravaging of such a rare wonder of nature to accommodate humans seeking knowledge of the world. They had carved into the base creating level after level of rooms, lecture halls, libraries and accommodation for the teaching staff and students. It loomed like a pompous yet vast twig at the centre of the city.
This was only the second time Kaoldan had ever visited Prava. The first time had been in his youth during his studies and his training to become a Walker. He had only needed to attend for six months and had hated every minute of it. He found the falseness and arrogance of many of its citizens unbearable.
The main currency within the city was knowledge, and those that had it were never reluctant to show their wealth. Kaoldan was not stupid, but within the walls of Prava were a great many intelligent people and having always hated being made to look foolish, as well as having a short temper had proved to be a bad combination. He found himself wondering if a place could change so very much. It had been over 20 years since his last visit, and he found himself recounting if things had quite been as distasteful as he remembered.
***
The gates of Prava boomed shut as they announced the arrival of Kaoldan and his companions. The city was lightly guarded - after all who would want to attack a city with more knowledge than wealth - and they had been admitted without any hesitation. The apparent novelty of Walkers visiting had raised some muttering amongst the City Watch. They watched from the side lines, in stiff black uniforms holding long pointed spears polished to a high sheen, deep in conversation eyes drinking in the presence of the new arrivals.
