K’lrsa helped M’lara down from Fallion’s back and knelt in front of her, biting her lip, unsure how to tell her sister she was leaving her again.
“No.” M’lara backed away from her, shaking her head side-to-side.
“I haven’t even said anything yet.”
“But you’re going to. You’re going to leave me. Just like everyone else has. You promised! You promised.” Tears streaked down her cheeks as she took another step backward.
“M’lara, wait. Please. Let me explain.” She moved closer and grabbed M’lara’s shoulders, staring into her sad eyes, trying to find a way to explain why she had to leave. And why M’lara couldn’t come with her.
But at the sight of M’lara’s tears, she realized she couldn’t break her sister’s heart like that.
K’lrsa bit her lip, thinking.
She had planned on leaving M’lara with one of the Riders from the White Horse Tribe and asking them to take her back to D’lan. But maybe…
If what Father Sun had said was really true and her parents were still in the Hidden City…
Maybe she could give M’lara what she desperately wished she had—more time with their parents.
K’lrsa swallowed, suddenly nervous for no reason she could explain. “I’m not going to leave you. Not yet. I have an idea. But it’ll require you to be very, very brave. And…I don’t want you to get your hopes up…but…”
“What?” M’lara thrust her lower lip out and crossed her arms, clearly not trusting a word K’lrsa was saying.
K’lrsa nodded towards where Vedhe and F’lia were sitting, waiting for her. “Vedhe and I are taking F’lia somewhere she’ll be safe. She lost the baby and she’s very sad right now, and I don’t want her to be alone.”
M’lara wiped at her cheeks. “She lost the baby?”
“Mmhm. So we’re going to take her somewhere she can recover. Somewhere special. I was going to have you stay with D’lan while we did that, but I think maybe you should come with us.” She bit her lip again, anticipating M’lara’s reaction. “Problem is, you’ll have to stay there with her. You can’t come with us when we leave.”
M’lara glared at her. “You are going to abandon me.”
“Well…No…Not really.” K’lrsa didn’t want to mention their parents. If Father Sun had lied, it would be like losing them all over again. But…She had to. Or else M’lara would be a nightmare the whole way there. “This is a very special city we’re going to, M’lara. Sometimes, not always, the dead go there after they die.”
“The dead?” M’lara wrinkled her nose, confused.
K’lrsa nodded. “Mmhm. Like Mom and Dad.”
M’lara’s eyes widened and she wiped her snotty nose on her arm. “Mom and Dad are there? I can see them again?”
K’lrsa held up a hand to calm her, wondering if she’d made a mistake mentioning it. “I don’t know. They were there, but they were supposed to leave. But maybe they didn’t and are still there.”
“I can see Mom and Dad again?” M’lara looked so happy, so hopeful, that it broke K’lrsa’s heart.
“For a little bit. But you have to remember, if they are there, they’re still dead. The people you see there…”
She couldn’t tell her it wasn’t them, because it was them.
It just…wasn’t the same.
“I can see Mom and Dad again!” She grinned ear to ear, jumping up and down in excitement.
“Maybe…”
K’lrsa grimaced. It was too late to tell M’lara not to get her hopes up. She closed her eyes for a moment, wishing she hadn’t said anything at all. “We’ll see when we get there, okay? But if we’re going to leave, we should do it now.”
K’lrsa glanced towards the newcomers’ camp. They were still shouting back and forth. But it wasn’t her problem anymore.
M’lara scrambled into Fallion’s saddle and looked down at K’lrsa, eager to be off. K’lrsa laughed. “Let me get our things, okay?”
“Okay.” M’lara was so excited, she was practically bouncing in the saddle. Good thing Fallion was such a mellow horse.
As K’lrsa checked the small bag Vedhe had packed for her, she shoved down the swirl of emotions that filled her at the thought of returning to the Hidden City. Part of her worried that Father Sun had lied to manipulate her and they’d return only to find her father and mother were gone, long since started on their journey through the Promised Plains.
But she was equally scared to find that they really were trapped there, possibly forever, against their will, because of the foolish vow she’d made.
She didn’t know which would be worse. The disappointment in her sister’s eyes if they were gone, or in her parents’ eyes if they weren’t.
Either way. She wasn’t exactly eager to leave.
“K’lrsa, come on! Let’s go!”
“Alright. I’m coming.” She swung into the saddle and looked around one last time at the crumbled remains of the tribe she’d tried to found, hoping the newcomers could hold Aran’s troops back long enough for her and Vedhe to defeat him.
If they couldn’t…It might be too late for all of them.
Chapter 24
As soon as the moon rose, they flew the horses, soaring over the plains and then the desert, Fallion shining as if a thousand suns lurked just under his coat, his powerful wings beating through the air, Kriger, silvery and equally gorgeous, flying silently next to them.
Once again, K’lrsa found herself in that world that wasn’t her world. The horses’ powerful wings beat the air and large swathes of ground passed beneath them with each stroke, but it was oddly quiet and peaceful as they flew. There was no breeze to stir her hair, no birds flying near them. Just the moon and the stars, so close she felt she could touch them if only she dared.
M’lara pointed out everything she saw below—a herd of baru, a desert cat, a tribal camp far in the distance—until exhaustion finally overtook her and she leaned back against K’lrsa’s chest, snoring softly.
Vedhe, sitting on Kriger’s back, was serene, even with F’lia asleep in front of her, almost bigger than she was.
These between places seemed made for Vedhe in a way the real world wasn’t. She’d done better at interacting with the newcomers than K’lrsa had, but there was always a part of her that was somewhere else. Like she had one foot in this world and one foot in the gods’ world.
It was hard to realize—seeing her like this, so confident and strong—how young she was. Especially with all she seemed to know after their experience in the labyrinth. Both had earned the knowledge of that place, but Vedhe had lasted longer so absorbed more of it. And she’d made an effort to actually use the knowledge so she could keep what she’d gained through such pain.
Unlike K’lrsa who had wanted to forget it as soon as she’d learned it, and had shut it away behind a wall where she didn’t have to think about it.
Hopefully someday it would be gone and she could go back to who she’d been before she learned about the wider world and all its complications and gray spaces. She didn’t like thinking about the ten different explanations for everything. Or understanding why something she didn’t like was the way it was because of history.
Vedhe smiled at K’lrsa. The angry red scars on her face had turned silver under the moonlight and were almost beautiful. K’lrsa smiled back, remembering the first time Vedhe had flown Kriger, looping through the sky on his back like a child.
She relaxed, letting herself enjoy the simple pleasure of flying, trying to remember the last time she’d truly felt at peace. Or happy. It seemed like forever.
She wished she could just stay in this world that wasn’t a world. Take Fallion somewhere new, somewhere free of Aran and the tribes and the Daliphana. She’d find Badru and they’d escape together.
Let someone else carry this burden.
But as soon as it appeared, she shoved the thought aside.
It was too tempting to think that way, to think that if she just stayed away f
rom the troubles of the world that eventually someone else would step up to solve them.
She knew better. She’d seen how people in the tribes had worried about what was happening. How they’d talked about the changes they were seeing. But had anyone other than her father dared to step forward, to speak up, to try to stop it?
No.
They’d worried, but they’d kept right on with their lives, hoping the threat just went away.
Most people didn’t want to fight or struggle, not unless they had no other choice. They’d rather talk themselves to death while the tribes slowly rotted from the edges inward.
They didn’t understand that some things, once broken, could never be put back together again. That you could go so far down the wrong path, there was no coming back.
So, no. She couldn’t just fly away and leave it to someone else. Because no one else would care enough to pick up her burden.
If she wanted Aran defeated, she’d have to do it herself.
No matter what it cost her.
Chapter 25
As the moon set on the far horizon, the horses landed outside a small cave in the desert, the opening just tall enough for the horses to shelter in during the heat of the day.
K’lrsa had never realized before the Lady Moon pointed it out that the caves were provided by the gods.
It made sense. They always seemed to be there when someone needed one. And to have food to eat for both humans and horses and wood for a small fire. They weren’t as grand as K’lrsa would’ve made them if she’d had the power of a god, but they were enough.
And that seemed to be what the gods were willing to provide. Enough. Never more.
She carried a sleeping M’lara towards the cave, stumbling under her sister’s weight and the exhaustion of flying all night. A sound up ahead startled her and she saw Midnight standing at the entrance to the cave, his coat more sleek and black than she remembered, the white teardrop in the center of his forehead marking him as an Amalanee horse.
That meant…
Gently, she lowered her sister to the ground and hurried forward, trying not to run, her heart soaring with anticipation even as she told herself he might not be there.
K’lrsa couldn’t stop the smile that broke across her face or the tears that filled her eyes at the thought of seeing Badru again. All these weeks she’d told herself that what she’d felt for him had been no more than a crush—a physical attraction to a handsome boy by a girl who’d just lost her father and needed someone, anyone, to fill that gaping hole in her heart.
But as she quickened her steps and brushed past Midnight with a quick pat to the neck, she knew she’d been lying to herself. What she felt for Badru was so much more than that, so much deeper. It was like Father Sun had said—Badru balanced her. He completed her in some way she couldn’t put into words. And she didn’t want to name it. To try to define what it was that existed between them.
What mattered was what she felt. And with Badru she felt whole, complete.
Happy.
He was just waking up, rubbing at his face blearily as he sat up in his bedroll.
“Badru!” She fell to her knees and hugged him.
He fell back a bit under the sudden assault, but then he hugged her back, the fierceness of his embrace driving the air from her lungs.
She could barely breathe, but she didn’t care.
He was back. Alive. Real.
“K’lrsa.” He buried his face against her neck and she could feel his tears as he held her.
“Badru.” She clung to him, never wanting to let go.
She hadn’t wanted to believe, hadn’t thought it could be possible…
That Father Sun…
She tensed and pushed away from Badru, remembering the price that had been paid to bring him back.
“Did…Did Father Sun tell you?” She glanced towards the entrance where Vedhe was helping a bleary-eyed F’lia lie down.
He nodded once, whispering so softly she could barely hear him, “He said the babe was already going to die.”
“And you believed him?” She searched his face, desperate for him to say yes.
He grimaced, watching as Vedhe settled F’lia in the corner and forced her to drink more of the sleeping draught. “Yes.”
“Really? Truly?”
Badru stared at her with his impossibly blue eyes, and she longed to hug him again, to pretend she’d never asked the question. But she held back. This was too important.
“I had to. If I didn’t…If I thought…” He clenched his jaw. “I didn’t want anyone to die for me, ever. Especially not a child.”
K’lrsa flashed to that moment after Herin had brought Badru back to life and he’d said something similar about Sayel. She remembered how Herin had lectured him, reminding him that people had died for him every day whether he’d acknowledged it or not. Slaves in the fields. Soldiers at battle.
It was true for all of them. Whether they knew it or not, somewhere someone was dying so they could have the life they did.
They were, all of them, beneficiaries of the sacrifices of others.
She sighed and settled down next to him. No point in sharing that thought. He’d either argue or be as depressed by it as she was.
Instead, she squeezed his hand. “Did he tell you? We’re going to kill Aran.”
“Good.”
“And destroy the Toreem Daliphate.”
He frowned. “Why? Why do you need to do that? Aran’s the one that’s evil.”
She raised one eyebrow, remembering the way she’d been treated in the Daliphana and how evil it had felt to her while she was there, but kept silent. She didn’t want to have that argument either. Not when she’d just found him again.
Instead, she told him the truth. “Because I swore I would when my father died. And Father Sun is holding me to my vow. If I don’t do it, my father will be trapped in the Hidden City forever, never allowed to continue on to the Promise Plains.”
She glanced towards where Vedhe had just settled M’lara down, speaking softly. “Is he still there? In the Hidden City? My father? And my mother? Is she there, too?”
Badru nodded.
K’lrsa nodded. That was good. For M’lara’s sake at least. She wasn’t looking forward to what they’d have to say to her, but she was glad she’d get to ask them for their thoughts before she challenged Aran.
She leaned against the wall, her shoulder touching Badru’s. “So he told the truth about that, at least.”
Badru took her hand in his and kissed it, a slight smile playing upon his lips. “I never thought I’d see you again. All those weeks I spent waiting for you to return, hoping…But with each day…” He shook his head.
She twined her fingers through his. “I didn’t know…When I left…That you were still alive. I thought you were already dead. I thought if I went back you’d be there, but it wouldn’t be you. You’d never age or be able to leave, and I’d be stuck there with you as I grew old and bitter and…”
“I know. I’m sorry.” He moved away from her to stoke the fire and put a small pot of water on to boil.
“So why didn’t you tell me?”
He knelt by the fire, keeping his distance from her. “You needed to save your people.”
“Did you doubt me, too, then? Father Sun thinks I wouldn’t have left if I’d known.”
He placed a small pinch of herbs into three cups before answering her. “No. I didn’t doubt that you’d save them.” He held her eyes with his impossibly blue ones. “I knew you’d sacrifice anything you had to to save your people. I just…”
He looked away. “I didn’t want to watch you make that choice. Better for you to think me dead and not worth choosing than to know that I lived and still chose to leave me.”
“Badru!”
He smiled sadly and moved back to her side, taking her hand in his and kissing it. “It sounds worse than it is. I figured you’d come back to me in time, after you’d done what you needed to for you
r people. And then, surprise! You’d find out I was alive and that it was even better than you’d thought.”
Vedhe dropped the horses’ saddles on the ground and moved to join them. She poured the now-boiling water into the three cups.
“Welcome back.” She handed Badru the first cup and K’lrsa the second.
“Thanks.”
K’lrsa cradled the cup in her hands, savoring the aroma of mint and the steady warmth against her palms.
Vedhe looked back and forth between them as she blew on the tea to cool it. “You know he can’t come with us, right?”
“What are you talking about?”
K’lrsa tensed. She’d just found him again.
“To the Hidden City. He’ll have to stay here. Father Sun created a gate to free him, but if he enters the city again he’ll be as trapped as he was before.”
K’lrsa looked to Badru. “Is that true?”
He was just as devastated as she was.
Vedhe laughed softly as she took a sip of her tea. “It’s only for a few days. You’ll be back together soon enough. And maybe he can put the time to good use.”
“How?” K’lrsa asked.
“By talking some sense into his former soldiers.”
“Oh…That’s a good idea…”
Badru frowned, clearly confused. “What? What are you talking about?”
As Vedhe set about making something for breakfast, K’lrsa told Badru all that had happened to them since they’d left the Hidden City. He listened and asked questions, intrigued and surprised by what they’d done and how things had progressed.
By the time she reached the point where the first camp had appeared outside the barren lands, Vedhe had made a breakfast of porridge with dried fruit and nuts in it. Trust the gods to provide the most tasteless meal possible, but at least it was filling and would give them the energy they needed to continue their journey.
K’lrsa finished the rest of the story while she ate, choking the porridge down without looking at it, Vedhe adding colorful commentary that made K’lrsa glare but Badru laugh.
When she was done with both the story and the meal, she asked him, “So? What do you think? Can you talk sense into them?”
Rider's Resolve (The Rider's Revenge Trilogy Book 3) Page 9
