Some of what they witnessed were real experiences like what G’van had done to Vedhe each night in that tent.
(When that one appeared, Vedhe stood still, unblinking, her hands clenched into fists, tears pouring down her cheeks. K’lrsa tried to convince her to look away, but she refused, determined to endure whatever the gods threw at them. All K’lrsa could do was stand by her side and witness. If G’van hadn’t been dead already, K’lrsa would’ve tracked him to the ends of the earth just so she could drive a knife through his heart. Repeatedly.)
Other scenes were born out of their deepest, darkest nightmares.
Beasts stalked through the shadows, howling for blood, their bodies twisted and grotesque as they tore their prey to pieces.
But somehow it was the horrors of what men, and a few women, were capable of that struck the deepest. K’lrsa stood there, shaking, full of hatred, wanting the world to burn and take every single person with it.
Better that than allow even one man like K’var or Aran to spread his poison.
Vedhe didn’t speak after those first few visions, but she too trembled with emotion, her jaw clenched, her eyes hard as rocks.
Finally, as the day wore on and she became almost numb to the horrors in front of her, K’lrsa turned towards the black doorway they’d come through. “I can’t watch another one.”
Vedhe turned a cold, angry gaze her way. “You’ve been through so much already, why quit now? Why would you throw that all away? What’s the point?”
“What if it never ends, Vedhe? What if we just stand here until we can’t take it anymore? It’s too much. I can’t do this.”
Vedhe turned away. “Then go. I will endure alone until the end.”
K’lrsa stared at the doorway and then back at her friend as the sky darkened and a howl filled the air.
It was so tempting. To quit. To say she’d had enough. To walk away and let Vedhe carry the burden alone.
She’d succeed. She didn’t need K’lrsa to stand by her side anymore.
But…
But Vedhe was her friend. And the horrors they’d seen already…To let her friend face those alone…
She couldn’t do it.
“How many more do you think there are?” she asked, resigned.
Vedhe shrugged, her arms wrapped tight against her chest as a scene materialized before them of a non-descript room, Anya crying in the corner as some large man loomed above her.
“It isn’t real.” K’lrsa pulled on Vedhe, trying to get her to look away. “It’s just your fears manifesting themselves. Vedhe, are you sure we just stand here and endure this? Isn’t there something we can do to break free of it?”
Vedhe twitched as the man reached for Anya.
“Vedhe! Listen to me. You’re feeding this. It stopped showing us things that actually happened a long time ago. This and all the other horrors it’s showing have to be coming from us. We have to fight back.”
“How?” Vedhe’s voice was full of anguish as the little girl screamed and cried for help but no one came.
“The Core. You have the memories, yes? Find the Core.”
It was the hardest thing K’lrsa had ever done to find the Core while Anya cried out, helpless and scared and unable to fight back against the man who was hurting her.
It could be M’lara in that room…
Even as she thought it, it was M’lara in that room, screaming in pain and fear.
K’lrsa told herself this wasn’t real. It wasn’t M’lara. This wasn’t happening. It was just her fear feeding the images.
She needed to master her thoughts so there was nothing for the gods to use against her. She needed to find the Core—that place outside of time and emotion where she could see and act without being distracted by the world around her.
She struggled to reach it.
Her entire being wanted to fight back against the horrors she was seeing, but to reach the Core she had to let that go. Let the anger pass. Let the visions flow by her like they were happening to someone else somewhere else.
She needed to be like the summer sky—pure, blue, and calm.
Slowly, oh so slowly, she set aside her emotions.
Her anger.
Her fear.
Her sorrow.
Until, finally, at last, she found herself floating in the Core.
Only when she was sure that she’d finally found her way there, did she turn to Vedhe who was still struggling to master herself, her scarred face contorted in rage, her cheeks wet with tears.
K’lrsa took her hands and held her gaze, anchoring Vedhe to the moment, to the truth that all was illusion.
Slowly, Vedhe calmed her breathing. The tears stopped. Her chest rose more and more slowly as she took control of herself and of the world around them.
And then, just like that, the visions were gone.
They stood alone in the midst of trees, birds singing in the distance, a small stream running somewhere nearby. Before them was a red-tiled path.
Lodie’s path.
They collapsed to the ground, neither one speaking as they simply absorbed the peace of the place, letting the birdsong and babbling sound of water sooth away the horrors they’d just experienced.
A part of K’lrsa wanted to stay there forever. To never again face the horrors of life.
But she had to continue. Somewhere out there Aran was working to destroy not only his own people but hers as well. He had to die.
They all did. Every last person like him.
“Ready?” K’lrsa asked.
Their eyes met. Vedhe’s anger mirrored her own. She nodded.
Chapter 34
They walked along the red-tiled path as it wound its way through the midst of the trees until they finally reached a small clearing. The same one where they’d left Lodie weeks before. There was a small pond and a tent surrounded by verdant, green grass that was soft under their feet.
That first time she’d come to the clearing, K’lrsa had been struck by the strangeness of a woman as old and withered as Lodie snuggled close to an attractive young man, their fingers intertwined like the lovers they’d once been.
Now, she was struck by the fact that Lodie was no longer the Lodie she knew.
Gone was the wrinkled old woman with the scarred ear of a slave and the red-stained teeth of a bitter root addict. Now a young woman was there with the man—a match for him in age and beauty.
The child from before slept contentedly in the young woman’s arms.
A perfect family.
K’lrsa could see Lodie in the shape of the woman’s face and her surprising height, but this woman’s eyes were soft with love and contentment as she smiled at the man by her side.
She’d been transformed.
If it hadn’t been for what they’d gone through to reach her, K’lrsa might have turned back then.
Vedhe, as if sensing her thoughts, grabbed her wrist and whispered, “She can’t stay here. She has to move on. Before it’s too late.”
Reluctantly, K’lrsa stepped into the clearing. Lodie frowned when she saw them, but didn’t speak as they moved closer and sat down across from her, cross-legged. Somewhere nearby a bird sang, trilling its little heart out with happiness.
Lodie stroked her daughter’s silky soft hair, not looking at them. “I’m happy here.”
K’lrsa bit her lip, remembering how happy she’d been in this place. How much she’d wanted to stay even after she’d known the truth. “This isn’t real, Lodie. You know that.”
Lodie shrugged, leaning her head on the shoulder of the man at her side.
“You let yourself die, Lodie. You weren’t really dead.”
“I know that. I drank the poison, didn’t I?” She glared at K’lrsa, the sorrow in her eyes at odds with her young, sweet face.
“You deliberately killed yourself?”
Lodie snorted. “Of course I did. It was the only way I could return to the woman I was when I left them behind.”
“How?
Did they give you poison? Did the gods do this to you?”
“Pzah. No. I brought it with me.”
“You knew? The whole time we were making our way through the labyrinth you knew what the challenges were and that you were going to stay here?” K’lrsa wanted to slap her.
“Of course.”
“Why didn’t you warn us?” K’lrsa wailed.
“And take that small moment of peace from you? You needed that.”
“Didn’t it even occur to you how much it would hurt after? When I found out that it wasn’t my father I’d spent time with but some imaginary version of him?”
Lodie narrowed her eyes and leaned forward. “I’m sure it hurt when you finally learned the truth. But I bet in your darkest moments, when you don’t know what to do next or you doubt yourself, you remember what that man told you. You remember how much he loved you and had faith in you. It doesn’t matter that he wasn’t real; the emotions you experienced were.”
“But my real father was waiting for me in the center of the labyrinth. If I hadn’t been caught up here, I could’ve spent more time with him.”
Lodie didn’t back down. “Did your real father give you more comfort than the memory of him you spent time with here?”
K’lrsa bit her lip and looked away. No. Of course he hadn’t.
How could the real man ever compare to her perfect imaginary version of him?
Vedhe cut them off. “We need to go.”
“Then go.”
“You need to come with us.”
Lodie shook her head. “No. I’m happy here.”
The little girl in her lap stretched and wiggled free, running to the edge of the nearby pool where she buried her chubby little feet in the mud as she tried to catch the water bugs buzzing just above the surface of the water.
“This isn’t real. And it isn’t safe. You’ll fade away if you stay here. You need to continue your journey.”
“I don’t want to.” Lodie crossed her arms, her gaze focused on the little girl who was now splashing happily at the water.
“But you must.”
Lodie raised one eyebrow, but didn’t respond.
K’lrsa tried. “Lodie. Are you even listening to us? It won’t stay like this forever. They’ll fade away. You’ll fade away. And then that will be it.”
“I know. That’s why I want to stay.”
“But…” K’lrsa looked to Vedhe for help. “Your husband and your daughter are somewhere out there. They’ve passed on and are waiting for you, somewhere ahead.”
The little girl ran back to Lodie and once more snuggled against her. Lodie smiled as she smoothed her daughter’s hair. “You know one of the best things about this place? I never have to clean up after her.” She held out the little girl’s foot. It was completely clean. No sign of the mud she’d been wallowing in a moment before.
Vedhe frowned at her. “The battle isn’t over, Lodie.”
Lodie glared back at her. “It is for me.”
“Would you really do that to them?” She gestured at Lodie’s husband and child. “And to Herin and Garzel and all the others you’ve known? Would you really leave them to fight the next battle without you at their side?”
Lodie sighed and rested her chin on her daughter’s head. “I spent twenty-five years trying to kill Aran. I sacrificed everything—my tribe, my husband, my child—to defeat him. And I failed. Haven’t I been through enough?”
“No.” Vedhe picked at the grass, shredding each blade with her fingernails before tossing it aside. “I can’t explain it, Lodie. I don’t know what comes next. I just know you need to continue onward. That we all do when our time comes. None of us can stay here and hide from what must be done. We get a moment to pause, to recover, but then we have to move forward.” She glanced back and forth between Lodie and K’lrsa. “This world is just the beginning.”
K’lrsa winced. “Don’t say that. I want this to be over when I die. And you’re telling me, what? That we all keep fighting in the next life or world or wherever we go?”
Vedhe shifted uncomfortably. “I can’t see it fully, but, yes. I think so.”
Lodie met K’lrsa’s gaze, raising her eyebrows. “And that’s why I want to stay here. I’ve had enough.”
Vedhe stood, pacing back and forth angrily. “They need you, Lodie. They’re somewhere ahead of you on the path and if you stay here they travel alone. Scared. Uncertain. Unloved.”
“Don’t you manipulate me, child.” Lodie stood, looming over both of them, her face a mask of anger.
“I’m not manipulating you. I’m telling you the truth.” Vedhe took a half-step back and knelt before Lodie, her head bowed. “You saved me. I owe you. Please. Let me save you now.”
Lodie spat to the side. “Save me? From the only place I’ve ever been truly happy? Pzah.”
Vedhe stayed where she was, head bowed.
Lodie stared down at Vedhe’s bowed head for a long moment and then at her husband and daughter who were watching her closely. “I’ll make my way out eventually.”
“No. You’re already fading. Can’t you feel it?”
Lodie paced to the edge of the clearing and back. “I’m not ready, yet.”
K’lrsa stood and risked touching her, resting a hand on her shoulder. “Lodie? Are you fading away already? Can you feel it?”
Lodie shrugged the touch away. “Maybe.”
“Then you have to leave. Now. Before it’s too late.”
“I’m tired. I don’t want to keep going.”
“So am I. But if we don’t keep fighting, then they win.”
“Who are they?” Lodie asked. “What is this place I’m supposed to move on to?”
“I don’t know. But if Vedhe says it’s there, I believe her.”
Lodie glanced at the still kneeling Vedhe and rolled her eyes. “I should’ve never let you convince me to leave that camp.”
“Don’t pretend you didn’t want to save her. Or that you didn’t do everything in your power for every single one of those slaves.” She gestured around the clearing. “Is this really enough for you? Sitting in the grass, watching your child play? When you know somewhere others are suffering? Others that you can help?”
Lodie pressed her lips tight together.
K’lrsa stepped closer. “I’m not saying you didn’t deserve the time you had here. But you need to move on now. To do something that matters.”
Lodie grimaced, but still she stayed where she was.
“Please, Lodie. We need you to help us defeat Aran. Tell us all you know. And then move on to the next place. Find your husband and daughter. The real ones.”
Lodie turned towards her. “Do you think I’ll know him in the next world?”
Vedhe stood, stretching her neck to the left and right. “Yes. Good always knows good.”
“Pzah. Where’d you learn that crap?” Lodie asked, but there was a spark in her eye that hadn’t been there before.
Vedhe raised one scarred eyebrow, the movement twisting the scars on her face.
Lodie stared her down for a long, long moment, but Vedhe didn’t budge.
Finally, K’lrsa stepped between them. “It’s time to choose, Lodie. Even now Aran is moving against the tribes.”
“Fine. Give me a moment.” She embraced her husband and they stood close together, hands tracing the outlines of beloved faces as they whispered softly back and forth before, with one last, fierce hug, they stepped apart.
Next, Lodie turned towards her daughter. The girl was back by the pond’s edge, playing in the mud. Lodie knelt by her side, stroking her soft curls, talking and laughing with her for one last time before she kissed her softly and stood.
The girl ran to her father and he took her hand. Together they turned and walked away, disappearing before they reached the trees.
Lodie wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. “Alright. Let’s go.”
An arched opening appeared, wide enough for all three of them to walk th
rough together. The space within the arc was inky and black, giving no hint of what lay on the other side.
K’lrsa flinched, remembering the last time she’d left this place.
But she had to continue. She’d come too far to stop now.
She had to end this.
Steeling herself, K’lrsa took Lodie’s outstretched hand in hers and waited until Vedhe took Lodie’s other hand. Together, they stepped through the arch.
Chapter 35
Nothing happened. They simply found themselves back in the center of the labyrinth with the Lady Moon waiting for them. As Vedhe led Lodie away down the hall, K’lrsa turned to the Lady, glaring at her. “We need to talk.”
The Lady raised one exquisite eyebrow in question. “Would you care for some refreshments first?” She waved a graceful hand at a small table where a silver pitcher suddenly appeared, its sides beaded with water.
“No. I want you to fix my parents.”
The Lady frowned slightly. “Are you sure you want that? They were very unhappy when they found themselves trapped here. We were worried they’d do themselves harm.”
K’lrsa snorted. “My parents would never harm themselves.”
The Lady didn’t say anything—her expression said it all, reminding K’lrsa that her mother had essentially killed herself by challenging the Black Horse Tribe with only two others at her side.
“I need my parents back to themselves if you want me to defeat Aran. I need their help and counsel.”
“What can they do for you that you can’t do for yourself?”
K’lrsa shook her head. “Did you never have parents?”
After a moment, she sighed. “What am I thinking? Of course you didn’t. You were born from the dust of the universe or whatever. Well, for us mere mortals, our parents are a vital source of support and advice and I’d like theirs before I have to leave this place.”
“I don’t know that it’s possible.”
K’lrsa stepped forward, her hand on her knife. “Are you telling me you’ve permanently harmed them? That they’ll be like this forever?”
The Lady’s eyes flashed silver and K’lrsa found herself frozen from the neck down. She stepped closer until their noses were almost touching. “Would you dare to attack me, child? Don’t think that just because I appear in a form you can understand that I am anything like you or that there is anything you can actually do to harm me.”
Rider's Resolve (The Rider's Revenge Trilogy Book 3) Page 13
