by Aiden Bates
The next time he saw Chris was months after the trial, but he recognized him immediately. When he realized that the handsome attorney was actually interested in him, he got that feeling again—Did I mishear him?—but it wasn’t a dream.
He smirked to himself as he thought about how nervous he was to invite Chris out that first time. A friend’s rock band was playing; they were up-and-comers who were getting a lot of buzz in New York City, and Raff hoped Chris would be impressed. They stood on the side of the stage and watched the show, and then Raff introduced Chris to the band. Chris had never heard of them and even said that he didn’t care much for rock music. Raff was crushed.
But then two hours later, he was running his hand up the smooth flank of this incredibly beautiful man. Raff had never heard anyone moan so loud; never felt any man get so hard. He would never forget the taste of Chris’s mouth that first night; the feel of his skin and how surprisingly and deliciously submissive he was. They had sex twice that night, and again in the morning, before spending the day together hand in hand.
Raff Rivera and Chris Chambers sitting in a tree.
Raff was devoted to Chris. He was broke but he doted on him, made him fancy dinners and took him for long motorcycle rides upstate. Raff was a manager at the rehab center at this point, trying to prove to the universe that he was worthy of his recent good fortune, and now he had this hot, smart boyfriend. How—??
Even if Raff thought he didn’t deserve someone so wonderful, Chris never gave any indication that he agreed. He was never condescending to Raff; never laughed when Raff used the wrong fork or the wrong word or showed up underdressed. Raff marveled that Chris’s eyes always seemed to be filled with nothing but adoration. As Raff matured and got used to the finer things that Chris introduced him to—nice restaurants, good books, interesting people—his love for Chris deepened. Chris had always accepted Raff for who he was. He never even minded the motorcycle grease under Raff’s fingernails that wouldn’t come out no matter how much Raff scrubbed.
Raff felt nothing but unconditional love and acceptance from Chris.
That’s why these past few months of silence were so difficult. If he thought that Chris no longer loved him, it might be easy to grow cold and move on. There was no doubt that the love was still there. They just had to figure out a way to tap back into it.
Chapter Three
Chris dipped his head down so that his nose grazed Elizabeth’s fine black hair. A baby’s clean head was one of the best scents in the world; right up there with freshly baked bread, the smell of rain on a hot day and rare oud oil from Southeast Asia. He was convinced a small fortune could be made by bottling that scent. He inhaled deeply and smiled.
She was asleep already. It was their nightly ritual. Raff got her cleaned up just before Chris got home from work, they all ate dinner together, and then Chris read to her and rocked her to sleep. Even if he had to head back into the office after her bedtime, Chris made sure he was there to tuck Elizabeth in.
One of his greatest worries was that she would grow up and think, “My omega-father was never there,” and then she’d be one of those wild girls who made bad decisions. Please remember this, he would often think, as he gently swayed with her in the rocking chair. Please remember I was here.
He would always be grateful to Raff for carrying so much of the parenting load. As horrid as some of Chris’s clients could be, he knew that there was no one so demanding as a toddler. Raff knew how to handle every tantrum, how to speak to her in a way that both entertained her and educated her, and could cook and clean the house with only one free hand. And Chris knew that Raff wouldn’t have it any other way. Chris was almost jealous of the bond between Raff and Elizabeth sometimes. Ridiculous but true.
He smiled to himself, thinking of the Raff he met so many years ago in the courthouse. Raff seemed both incredibly young and wildly worldly: huge and rough around the edges and vulnerable. Chris wanted to pluck that cigarette out of Raff’s hand instead of light it, and then scold him on the dangers of tobacco. Even though Chris was only a few years older than Raff, he could sense that Raff had grown up without the protective barrier of a loving home and was terrified to be facing the world on his own.
Others may have looked at Raff then, or even now, and been surprised to learn what a sensitive, loving father he was, but not Chris. It all made sense. Raff wanted to give Elizabeth everything that he had never had.
Way back then, at the courthouse, Chris wasn’t sure that Raff was innocent. Chris and the other attorneys on the team worked their collective ass off to keep Raff out of jail, of course, but there was a tiny niggling voice that said, What if he did it? The voice persisted even after Chris and Raff started dating, but eventually it faded. Mostly Chris doubted that his gentle giant would ever do something so immoral, but a part of him also thought, Even if he did it, I don’t care.
Chris never told a soul, even his sister to whom he told almost everything, but there were times in the beginning that the possibility that he was dating a criminal was an incredible turn-on. More than once, Chris imagined the two of them fucking in the attorney-client meeting room of a prison; Raff ravaging him from behind or Chris on his knees, sucking his alpha off despite the leg-irons he wore. Chris masturbated a few times to these fantasies, back in the day.
He smiled to himself now, bittersweetly, thinking about those early days. It happened to everyone, he was certain: marriage and kids made it harder to keep the passion alive, but the joy of parenthood made that easier to accept.
It just felt like, so often, he and Raff were parenting separately. Raff during the day, Chris at night, and then they were too tired to do anything else but sit like zombies in front of the TV for an hour before bed.
Who am I kidding? I’m the one that’s too tired.
There were times in the not-too-distant past when Raff had come to him, his eyes filled with both desire and hope. Raff would stand with his legs wide so that he and Chris were eye-to-eye, and he’d start to unbutton Chris’s shirt without breaking eye contact, licking his lips. Chris would feel a jolt in his groin, always, but then his head would hurt or his back would hurt or he would think about a call from a client or a partner. He’d give Raff a quick peck and say, “I can’t tonight, handsome, but let’s do something special this weekend.”
Something special rarely happened anymore.
And, ugh, that look in Raff’s eyes when he was turned down. It filled Chris with guilt even now.
Chris got up carefully to place Elizabeth in her crib, stepping over blocks and dolls, and he gazed at her for a few moments. She really was an incredibly beautiful child. Chris often said, “She got it from her alpha-daddy,” but he knew that she was actually a perfect mix of the two of them.
We have to figure this out. For her. For us.
Kitchen sounds could still be heard as he left the baby’s room, as well as the sound of Raff’s horrible but sweet singing. When he had his earbuds in, he didn’t even try to stay on key. Chris considered going to him and just opening up, but he didn’t know where to start. Instead he went to the shower.
One of the best things about their condo was a Plexiglas enclosed shower with two waterfall showerheads, and he tried to let his worries go for just a few minutes. The hot water splashed heavily on him, immersing him in comfort, as the enclosure filled with steam. He popped open the bottle of his favorite all-natural body wash and started to suds up.
His hands roved over his body and he took note of “love handles” that were forming, from too much time sitting on his ass at his desk and too many take-out meals in that very place. He wondered if his husband had noticed or cared. He felt the caesarean scar from the birth of their daughter, and he hoped that it didn’t bother Raff like it did him.
His eyes were closed, but he felt Raff’s hands on his waist and then his body brushing up behind him.
“Hey there.”
Chris smiled and let his head loll back onto Raff’s shoulder. “Hi.”
>
“Room for one more?”
“Always.”
Chris’s heart leapt at this little thing; a slight touch and just a few words. He’d turned Raff down so many times recently, but he himself was desperate to be touched.
He heard Raff open the shampoo, and soon Chris was receiving a scalp massage that worked at that little ache that never seemed to leave his temples. He didn’t speak, just whimpered and moaned his appreciation as Raff’s thick, strong fingers did their thing. As the shampoo slipped down Chris’s neck, so did Raff’s hands and they began to work on the knots they found there.
Chris thought he might melt.
Raff’s lips found Chris’s neck and lightly touched him, but Raff continued to massage his husband’s back. He’d taken a “lovers massage” course a few years ago at the adult education center, and it was the best educational investment ever, at least in Chris’s mind. Raff found that tender, tight place between Chris’s underarm and shoulder, and worked at it, and a hurt-so-good ache made the omega groan aloud.
“Shh, darlin’, you’ll wake the baby,” Raff purred, but his hands didn’t stop. They worked their way down Chris’s lower back, stopping at every place that Raff knew he would find tension, until he reached Chris’s glutes. Raff still knew his husband’s body like the back of his hand.
Raff’s hands were still sudsy, and he slid one down the crack of Chris’s ass.
One of the wonderful things about marriage was the knowledge and ownership—gladly given—of each other’s bodies. No way would new lovers—at least not polite ones—be so brazen, but Raff not only knew his omega’s body but his desires as well. He washed his husband gently and then circled his puckered asshole lightly with his forefinger, while Chris relaxed against him and moaned.
For all of Chris’s reluctance and resistance lately, Raff knew that he needed to be fucked, and badly.
“You’re so tight,” Raff whispered into Chris’s ear, as if surprised. “Too tight. Like you’re carrying two weeks’ worth of tension inside.”
It had been two weeks since they’d made love.
“You want me to help you relax?” the alpha asked. His voice was playful, mock innocent and almost teasing. “I’m happy to help. You just need to ask.”
Chris nodded.
“I can’t hear you, darlin’.” Raff’s voice had a hint of danger to it. He was so good at this.
Chris’s cock was so hard, it almost hurt.
“Yes, please.”
“Then turn around.” Raff moved his hand from that sensitive place.
Chris missed it immediately, but he did as he was told and Raff pushed him slowly back so that his back rested against the warm, slick shower tile.
After lowering himself to the shower floor, Raff kissed Chris’s belly and the feeling was almost unbearable, ticklish and pleasurable and making his dick harder and harder. He could feel Raff’s five-o’clock shadow brush against his skin, but it wasn’t unpleasant. The anticipation, however, was agonizing.
And then, as he watched from above, he felt Raff’s full lips brush against his glans, then his soft, hot tongue swipe the delicate ridge. Finally, Raff took the head of Chris’s cock into his mouth. Chris gasped in pleasure and his body shook. Raff growled, lightly, taking pride in making his omega shiver, and Chris felt the vibration of the sound spread through him.
Chris loved that his masculine, often dominant alpha enjoyed sucking cock so much. And he was so very good at it. He wondered how long he could stay upright as his knees began to shake.
Raff seemed to have other plans, however, and just at the point where Chris worried he might burst into his mouth, Raff pulled off of him and spun him around. Chris’s hands flew up in response and his hands slapped against the tile.
“I’ve been thinking about your gorgeous ass for weeks,” Raff said, in a lusty rumble. He held Chris’s butt in both his hands, squeezed it firmly and then spread it as if splitting a peach. The hot water spilled down onto the sensitive skin, and Chris felt his face flush at the thought of his most private place being so fully exposed to his lover.
Raff’s tongue explored him hungrily. He continued with his lecherous little growls and occasional words, telling Chris what he had in store for him. Chris rested his face against the cool tile and pushed his butt back slightly, giving Raff further access.
Finally, Raff stopped and stood, and his finger replaced his tongue. “A little less tight,” he murmured approvingly as his thick finger stroked against the entrance to Chris’s body. “But there’s still some tension. How ever will we fix that?”
Raff’s hands moved to Chris’s hips as he positioned him just right. Then there was the heat and firmness of Raff’s big cockhead pushing gently but firmly against Chris’s hole.
“That’s it, darlin’,” he cooed, “Let me in.” Chris’s body would have obeyed no matter what he wanted, but oh did he want this. Raff moved slowly, tenderly, giving him time to accommodate the large member, and soon Chris could feel the length of him inside. It was a delicious, full feeling, bordering on agony.
Raff’s strokes were slow and sensual at first, allowing both of them to enjoy the sensation.
Chris sighed. He loved being filled up so fully by the man he loved. As Raff pushed in, Chris pushed back. Part of him wanted to do it just like this, for hours and hours, under the falling water. He knew he needed more though.
Raff’s fingers trickled lightly down Chris’s wet back and he whispered “Still so tight,” in a strained voice. Each thrust got stronger and, within a few minutes, Raff was slamming against him, creating a swirling vortex of pleasure at the point where they were connected, alpha to omega.
Raff thrust in again and this time he held himself tight against Chris’s back, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him up close.
“I’m so close,” he whispered, his voice aching with need.
Chris nodded, too breathless to speak.
“Stroke yourself,” Raff begged him, and Chris did not need to be asked twice. His hand almost flew along his own rigid cock.
Raff held up him, thrusting into him over and over until Chris’s body shuddered as if he had no control over it.
The pleasure burst from his groin, like a strike of lightning speeding through his arms and legs, fingers and toes, as his cum splashed against the tile wall and was immediately washed away.
Raff had waited as long as he could, and finally let out a loud groan as his own orgasm tore through him. He thrust one last time into his omega. Chris’s arms were now too weak to hold them, but Raff caught them with his own strong arms against the wall. Chris could feel Raff’s cock still pulsing, even as it softened and slipped out of him.
When they caught their breath, they moved to the bedroom and climbed under the sheets, still damp. Raff pulled Chris close to him, spooning him from behind.
He should have been tired. It was late and he had to get up early the next morning but, despite the warm shower and hot sex, Chris couldn’t close his eyes. He wanted to say something, anything, to Raff, but it was like his brain and mouth were paralyzed, and the silence seemed to intensify by the second. He absentmindedly stroked Raff’s damp forearm.
Raff cleared his throat and it sounded like a peal of thunder in the quiet. Oddly, that break in the silence did the trick.
“I . . . uh . . . I needed that.”
“Me, too. It’s . . . been a while.” The hurt in Raff’s voice was clear, though he sounded tender.
“I’m sorry. It’s just . . . work. It’s busier than I thought it would be, and it takes a lot to get a satellite office going.”
Chris didn’t know what to expect when Raff’s muscles tensed ever so slightly, but he only said, “I know. You must be exhausted. It’s just a shame. We bought this place so we could get away and spend time with the baby and each other, and it’s just not happening.”
Chris laughed nervously. “I don’t think Elizabeth is suffering. She’s borderline spoiled.”
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��Well, I’m not. I miss you, Chris.”
“I miss you, too, Raff. I do.”
It seemed like Raff was buoyed by their honest exchange. He sat up and looked down at Chris. The earnestness of his expression was almost painful. “Then let’s do something about it. Denise can watch Bizzy for a weekend. She’d absolutely love it. Or we could invite your parents up. They could do some sightseeing with their beloved granddaughter for a couple days, while you and I go off for a vacation of our own. What’s the place Gladys told us about? The romantic lodge and spa?”
“Ultima, or something like that,” Chris muttered.
“Yeah! She says the chef is a genius. We could just hang out in bed all day fucking and eating and getting massages. Or we could rent another bike and I could show you how to ride. We could reconnect.” He was pleading, swallowing his alpha pride and begging.
Chris wanted to. Oh God, how he wanted to, for many reasons. Even now, less than half an hour after that incredible massage, his back was all jacked up again.
“Raff . . . I’m already pushing it by summering here. Young partners don’t generally get to work from home for three months at a time.” He tried to say it as kindly as possible.
“Goddamnit!”
It was so rare that Raff raised his voice that, on the occasion it did happen, it was alarming. The alpha jumped out of bed, froze as if thinking, and then quickly turned and left the room.
Chris was stunned. He really didn’t mean to hurt him. He stayed put, hoping that Raff just needed a few minutes to cool off, and would return to bed soon. Maybe there would be mutual apologies. Maybe they’d just kiss and turn off the lights.
Or maybe there would just be that fucking silence again.
But then Chris heard the front door close. It was a soft sound—Raff didn’t want to wake the baby—but that was the sound, nonetheless. Chris walked out into the living room and looked around. Raff’s wallet and keys were gone.
Chris sat on the couch for a while, waiting. Perhaps he would just run up to the store. But, after an hour of waiting, Chris put himself to bed. After all, he had to get up in six hours to go to work.
