by Aiden Bates
“It was good. Everyone is raving about the new chef. And Angela got engaged. Her boyfriend got her a rock of a ring.”
“How nice! Think we’ll be invited to the wedding?” Chris loved weddings.
“Dunno. And an old friend is in town. Stopped by to chat.”
“Really? All the way from New York, or . . . ?”
“Mmhm.”
Chris waited for him to continue, but Raff was moving quickly to get everything on the table so he got up to help, and soon they were eating and talking about heading back to New York.
Back in the beginning of June, when they were closing up their Brooklyn apartment and getting ready to head to Stellar, Chris and Raff were going through that difficult time. The endless tense silence that hid disappointments, anger and longing. One thing that Raff did finally say was that it was unfair that he was the one handling all of the preparations.
“I work too, Chris, and I do it with a baby strapped to my back. I need some help.”
It was only three months later, but so much had changed between them and Chris wanted to show Raff how committed he was to keeping that momentum going.
“So, I called my assistant in New York and I’m throwing her a few extra bucks to go to our apartment the day before we get there to air the place out and get some basic groceries. After that flight, we should at least have some snacks and milk for Bizzy and the place won’t smell stale.”
“That’s a great idea. Thanks, Chris.”
“Yep. And I talked to the leasing office here. They’re happy to handle everything. They’ll rent out our place for $700 a week; we just need to lock up any valuables in the hall closet and leave clean linens and basic kitchen stuff.”
“Perfect.”
Chris wasn’t getting quite the impressed reaction he was hoping for, but maybe Raff’s day was more difficult than he was letting on.
“You want me to clean up for a change?” Chris asked.
Raff smiled absentmindedly. “And miss out on my first alone-time today? Not a chance. You guys go have fun,” he said, and then started collecting plates. Raff didn’t even look at him.
It wasn’t until the baby was tucked in that Chris finally had the chance to ask what was wrong.
“Nothing. Well, there are some things I want to discuss with you. Nothing . . . big.”
“Good. Me too. Let’s relax together.”
“Okay. You want some wine? There’s leftovers from the scampi.”
“Not tonight. Just water.”
Chris lit candles as Raff filled up his glass. The scent of wax and lavender filled the room, and he took a deep breath. He was nervous but, when Raff sat down next to him, he took a deep breath and smiled.
“You want to go first, or . . . ?”
Raff patted his hand. “I’ve missed your voice today. You go.”
Chris reached for the manila envelope on the coffee table and handed it to his husband.
“I got some good news today and I think you’ll be interested.”
Raff’s eyebrows went up a little, as if he were mildly curious but not overly concerned. “What is it? About work?”
“Open it.”
He watched Raff’s eyes as he pulled out the paper and began to scan the words he saw there, but Chris couldn’t wait for it to register.
“Raff, I’m pregnant! We’re pregnant!”
Now that’s the reaction I was hoping for. Finally.
Raff’s mouth was hanging open.
“I’ve been feeling sick and I didn’t have morning sickness at all with Bizzy, so I made an appointment to rule out something serious . . . and . . . and . . . we’re going to have another baby!”
Raff’s opened mouth spread into a wide smile before he pulled Chris into a near-crushing embrace.
“You’re happy, right?”
“Chris, I’m ecstatic. I always wanted a big family; you know that.” Raff’s voice was quiet but full of emotion.
“I do know that.”
They held each other on the couch, in the dark, for a while. There wasn’t much to say about it. Their life would change again, but they could handle it. Chris did some quick calculations and realized that the new baby would arrive in time for them to come back to Alaska next summer. Another few months to recuperate and get to know their new family member. They’d have to put the bike riding excursions on hold for a while, but they would be busy with their family.
“How do you think Elizabeth will react?” Chris asked.
“Oh, she will be thrilled. She was pointing to a baby in a carrier at the grocery store last week, saying ‘I want’. She might change her mind when I’ve got to strap the new one to my back instead of her, of course.”
“Yeah, well, for the first few months, you’ll have to carry the infant in the front, so Bizzy can still ride in the back.”
“What am I, a pack mule?” Raff joked, but Chris knew that he loved being a father more than anything. There was never a doubt about that.
Chris leaned over and brushed his lips against Raff’s. He adored his alpha.
To his delight, Raff returned the kiss with surprising ardor.
Desire welled up in Chris quickly. Pregnancy hormones, he thought with a smile as his erection grew.
Raff started to pull his shirt off and Chris pushed his hands away and unbuttoned it himself quickly in order to save the buttons. Raff’s hands were soon caressing his chest, grazing newly sensitive nipples. Chris moaned—he felt like he could almost climax just from that—and then Raff kissed one and suckled it into his mouth.
A shout of pleasure escaped Chris’s lips and he saw Raff look up at him devilishly. He sucked harder and began flicking at the hard nub with his tongue.
When Chris thought he might actually cum in his pants like a high schooler, Raff stopped suddenly.
“Lie back,” he whispered and, when Chris did so, Raff removed his belt and unbuttoned his pants. He slid them down Chris’s hips and tossed them onto the floor, before pausing as if to appreciate his body.
There was something very erotic about having an aroused alpha staring down at his partially unclothed body. Raff was the bodybuilder in their relationship, while Chris was slim and several inches shorter. He often felt like he was the one who had gotten the better end of the deal, at least appearance-wise. But right now he felt hot.
Raff licked his lips. “You look so fucking good right now, darlin’,” he husked. He reached forward and hooked the forefingers of each hand on the waistband of Chris’s underwear. “You look lush and ripe and very, very fuckable. I love it when you’re pregnant.”
He started to slide Chris’s underwear down, freeing his hard cock and then pulling them completely off.
Chris could see a drop of pre-cum already pooling in the slit of his dick.
Raff’s hands began to caress the arches of Chris’s feet and then work their way up his calves and inner thighs, excruciatingly slow. Raff was good at that—drawing out the pleasure, building it up.
Chris knew that within a few minutes he would literally beg to be fucked, because it had happened many times before. And he knew that Raff would just give him an evil smirk and keep going s-l-o-w.
When Raff’s hands reached the tops of Chris’s inner thighs, his fingers gently swiped against the crack of his ass, as if by accident. Ignoring Chris’s gasp, Raff then moved up Chris’s hips to his belly. Now Raff moved onto his knees, over Chris’s body, and bent down to lap at his belly button. The close proximity of Raff’s skilled mouth to the head of his dick was maddening.
Kiss, kiss, kiss, at Chris’s belly, and somehow it was both the most innocent gesture and the lewdest at the same time. The ache that was building in Chris’s balls was exquisite.
“Oh, Raff, please don’t make me wait,” Chris cooed.
That smirk.
“Please, Raff. Fuck me. I’ve been thinking about it all day.”
“Oh really?”
Chris nodded.
Raff’s fingers roamed,
as did his lips. Something brushed against Chris’s cockhead and caused him to jump, and then a finger or a tongue barely traced his glans, and then he felt a flick against a nipple again.
Overwhelming pleasure and it hadn’t even begun.
“Tell me what you want, darlin’.”
“Fuck me, alpha. Suck my cock and fuck my ass and fill me all the way up.”
“Beg me.”
“Please. Raff, please fuck me.” Chris felt embarrassed as the dirty words spilled from his lips, and yet it was a delicious form of embarrassment. He felt like, in that moment, he was only good for one thing: to be fucked by this alpha.
Raff pushed Chris’s knees into the air and growled as he looked down at his body. He swooped down and licked Chris’s crack in one long, slow stroke.
“Is that what you want?”
“Yes.”
Now Raff leaned down and sucked the swollen redhead of Chris’s dick into his mouth. He sucked hard and quick for what was probably only five seconds, before letting go.
“Or is that what you want?”
Chris was gasping. “That too.”
Raff reached down and pulled a bottle of lube from under the couch—When did he put that there?—and drizzled some down into the entrance of Chris’s ass before pressing his own cock against him.
“Or is that what you want?”
“Oh yes, oh yes, fuck yes.”
Raff didn’t need to be asked twice and he held Chris’s ankles as he leaned into him. Chris heard his breath hitch as Chris’s body accepted his.
When he was fully inside his omega, Raff moved so that he was on top of Chris, who wrapped his legs around his alpha’s body.
“I love you, Chris,” Raff said, looking into his eyes. He was often like this when they made love—taking time to be tender and express his love, even as his body was doing wicked things.
“I love you too.”
“And fuck, are you tight.” There was that wicked smirk again, and then Raff began to move inside him. As he did so, his hard abs rubbed against Chris’s dick. The combination of sensation caused him to moan already for release.
He didn’t want to cum too soon. He focused on his lover above him. Raff’s eyes were closed and his mouth hung open; the picture of a man lost in desire.
“You’re so beautiful,” Chris whispered to him, and then Raff looked at him and smiled before leaning down to kiss him, his tongue searching for Chris’s and sucking on it. It was an intense, hungry kiss that took his breath away.
When Raff pulled back, he growled again. “I’m not going to last long, baby. You feel too good.”
“Just use me, Raff. Fuck me hard and cum inside me.”
“Oh, God,” Raff cried, loving the filthy words. He plunged into his omega even harder, building up to his climax. “Jerk yourself off, Chris.” He wanted them to cum together.
Chris did as he was told, and almost immediately felt the heat in his belly that meant he was about to go over the edge. He bit his lip and held his breath, watching his husband above him as he fucked him in a frenzy, hoping that Raff was close too.
The roar that escaped the alpha’s mouth was like that of an animal, and the final thrust felt like it would split Chris in two. Raff’s face screwed into an expression of agonizing pleasure, and every muscle of his body tensed up as he came hard.
Chris was just a second behind, dragging his orgasm out with his own fist. He looked into Raff’s eyes as he came with a shudder, and thick drops of hot liquid spurted onto his chest.
“Ohhh . . . I feel it,” Raff whispered, his eyes closed. “I can feel it from inside you.”
Raff’s arms began to quiver as he held himself above Chris. They both had ragged breath as their orgasms subsided. Raff lowered himself gently, as if already worried about crushing Chris’s belly.
Chris loved feeling the weight on top of him. Raff’s lips were against Chris’s ear and he began to whisper sweet things, words of love, to him in a sleepy voice. Before long, Chris felt his own eyes get heavy . . .
He wasn’t sure how long they were asleep for, but he was cold and his belly felt sticky, so he gently woke Raff up. They moved together into the shower, a quick hot one, and then climbed into bed. They lay back to back, butt to butt, and Chris felt more relaxed than he’d been in days. Just before he succumbed to slumber though, he remembered and turned.
“Raff? What was it that you wanted to talk about at dinner?”
“Oh . . . hm . . . nothing, darlin’. Just stuff about moving. We can talk about it tomorrow.”
Satisfied, Chris closed his eyes again and, within minutes, he was breathing deeply.
Raff, however, stayed awake, staring at the wall for hours.
Chapter Nine
Whenever he arrived back in New York from any other location, Raff realized how much he loved his hometown. Sure, it could be busy and too hot or too cold, sometimes dirty and smelly, and it cost an arm and a leg to live there, but it was home. He loved how they could get Vietnamese food or Jamaican food or Ethiopian on a whim—none of those cuisines were readily available in Stellar or even Fairbanks—the art and music scenes were incomparable, and he enjoyed the weird and wonderful people that they saw every day.
As much as he enjoyed working at the rehab center in Stellar, his heart belonged to the center in Brooklyn, where he had worked for years side by side with the same counselors that had helped him as a kid. There was Doctor Melnick, who’d prescribed exercise and good books to sixteen-year-old Raff, and Ms. Sondra, the occupational therapist who somehow saw something inside him and set him on the path to helping others. They were still there, older but none the worse for wear. There were also many other medical professionals, administrators and operations staff that he respected and considered friends. They greeted Raff after his extended vacation with open arms.
But the one thing that New York City couldn’t give him were the long, winding bike rides that he enjoyed in Alaska. It just wasn’t possible in the City. His bike stayed mostly in the garage, and he had to resort to subway, taxi, or Uber.
It was less than a week since they returned from Stellar. Raff told the driver that they were going to an address upstate, as he strapped Elizabeth’s seat securely into the backseat. He looked at his watch as the car took off and figured that they would be back at least an hour before Chris got home from work. Cutting it close but it would have to do.
“Don’t tell Daddy, okay, Bizzy?”
The little girl just smiled and said “Dad?” She was too young to understand and, even if she did, she didn’t have the words to tell.
Raff tried to quell the anxiety he felt for hiding something from his husband. Secrets were poison to a relationship. In the same way that the skyscrapers and endless gray gave way to winding roads on green hills, his lie had gone on for so long that he barely noticed it anymore. It was suddenly eight years later and Chris did not know about a huge part of Raff’s history. Perhaps it would have been okay if Raff had waited just a few months into their relationship to broach such a tender topic, but almost a decade? Raff could not deny that this was deception. Chris would be devastated by the lies.
Elizabeth was singing a non-melody, pointing out things she recognized: tree, cow, man. She was advanced for sixteen months, and Raff felt some pride in that. He spoke to her constantly, read to her and sung to her, to make sure that her little brain was growing and her world was full. He watched her now in profile and noticed that her little nose had begun to take the same shape as her omega-father’s, and her bottom lip had the same pout.
Why did I risk all this?
Perhaps if Raff would have known eight years ago that he was going to marry Chris, that they would be blessed with Elizabeth, and then another child, he would not have. What good did that do now?
The car turned a corner and Raff immediately knew where they were. It wasn’t the wealthiest neighborhood in Jericho, New York, but the small yards were all well-manicured and the ranch homes that stood side b
y side all had fresh coats of paint. At this time of morning, most people were at work and kids were in school, but the occasional older person could be seen pruning a flower bed, and a few young mothers with jogging strollers were making their rounds, trying to lose the weight they put on when they were pregnant. It was a normal, nice suburban neighborhood.
At the end of the street, the car made a left into a cul-de-sac and pulled in front of an attractive one-story house with a long ramp, framed with hydrangea bushes covered in fluffy pink blooms. A tricycle sat on the sidewalk, and chalk drawings faded in the late morning sun.
Raff tipped the driver and pulled Elizabeth’s seat out before unbuckling her. He stood there for a moment after the driver left, absorbing the sight. It was like the setting of some sit-com about a happy middle class family.
“Raff Rivera, is that you?”
The loud, cheerful voice snapped Raff out of his reverie.
“Sam Carlyle, my man!” Raff called.
A man in his late thirties rolled down the ramp in his wheelchair, his arms pitched out in greeting. He looked as if he might take flight.
Raff took a knee and greeted the man with a powerful hug.
“And look at this princess! Elizabeth!” Sam cried. “You’re so big! Look at you!”
The little girl gave him a toothy grin and then, without an invitation, climbed up onto his lap.
“I think she wants a ride, Uncle Sam.”
“Then she shall have one! Ready, Bizzy? Come on in, Raff. Vanessa is so excited to see you. Vanessa!” Sam yelled as he flung open the front door, “Your boyfriend is here!”
Raff blushed but knew it was all in fun, so he loped up the ramp after Sam and Elizabeth. Just inside the door, Raff barely caught a beautiful woman as she threw herself into his arms.
“Rafael!” she squealed. “It is so good to see you! How are you? It feels like ages!”
“Only since May, Van,” her husband playfully chided. “But somehow this baby turned into a little girl overnight.”
Vanessa called toward the back of the house and soon two young boys came tearing out and, like their mama, threw themselves into Raff’s arms. Raff wrestled with the tykes, and pretended not to know who was whom though, since one was a year older than the other, it wasn’t actually that hard. It was clear the boys thought the world of Raff.
