by Kellie Bean
I spot Noah, Emma and Jamie all on the opposing team as little more than blurs on the field. Noah and Emma are both unreal as they weave through the field, both maybe showing off a little. I can never focus on them for more than a few seconds at a time. I have my own game to worry about.
Most of the people on the field tonight are playing better than I’ve ever seen them. Maybe it’s a result of the week off. I think we’ve all just realized exactly how much this game means to us. How much we want it. Somehow, I even manage to assist Joel in a really nice goal, not even really realizing who it was I was playing with until the game paused to reset after the ball crossed the goal line.
God, I needed this.
By the time the game ends hours later and with no one entirely sure what the final score was, it didn’t matter if I had showed up smelling like dogs. Every part of me was dripping with sweat, even though the night air had started to abandon all trappings of summer for the cool breezes of fall.
In this crowd, at least I knew no one would judge me. No one else looked much better than I did. Everyone there could appreciate a good workout.
A few people leave as soon as the game ends with curfews to meet. A dozen of us remain sitting in the field, chatting and wishing we’d been smart enough to bring along more water.
“See.” I say to Emma who is sitting between Jamie and I, “This is why it helps to plan things.”
Jamie scoffs. “Reece, you don’t plan things. You decide what to do and make everything else up as you go along.”
I roll my eyes. It's probably too dark for Jamie to see me anyway as she starts to pull herself up from the ground.
“Heading home?” Emma asks.
“Yeah. Curfew. Besides, I’ve gotta be up early to go grocery shopping for some random who donated money.”
“Blegh. Good point.” Emma says, putting out her hand so Jamie can help lift her up from the turf. “There's water at home, so that seems like a pretty solid plus right now.”
It doesn’t take long for the entire group to call it a night, opting to at least extend our time out together a little longer.
As our group leaves school property, I remember to grab my phone and send a quick message to my parents, letting them know I should be home fairly soon. I didn’t realize until we moved here how lucky my sisters and I have been, in terms of what our parents let us get away with. While I rarely stay out late on school nights, usually because no one else can, the impression I’ve always gotten from my mom and dad is that I can continue to have some flexibility, until I screw it up or give them a reason not to trust me.
So far, they haven’t caught me doing anything they wouldn’t approve of.
Back home, it seemed like a lot of my friends lived by the same rules, though there were always a few people who always had to leave early from whatever we were doing. But here, it sometimes feels like people’s parents are in competition with one another about who can keep the tightest reigns on their kids, as though they’re constantly trying to figure out what everyone else is doing.
Now that Dad has more free time since he’s been writing ever since he gave up his teaching job after we moved, I sometimes feel like I’m waiting for him to catch on to how Fairview does things, but, so far so good.
Until anything changes, my plan is still to do my best to at least make it seem like I’m behaving. I know there’s absolutely nothing I’ve done tonight, or even since school started again that they would disagree with.
At this time of night, almost everything on Main Street is closed. We only pass a few cars and one other pedestrian, who from the looks of it is stumbling home from Fairview’s only bar a few blocks away.
As more of us say goodnight and turn toward home, I let myself slow. Falling to the back of the group. I’m not in any rush to be anywhere and it’s so nice to just be outside, not worrying about much of anything at all.
I’m still about ten minutes from home when someone comes up beside me. Its Noah. Somehow, I know it’s him without even turning my head.
My pulse quickens at once, an excited smile touches the corners of my lips. A couple of girls from school are still nearby, otherwise, Noah and I are essentially alone.
Essentially alone is more than enough alone to keep me happy.
“Hey.” he says, his voice quiet. Blending in with the night that surrounds us.
“Hey.”
The two of us walk in silence for a little longer than is comfortable as I try to figure out what I could say… to what? I don’t even know what I want to come from this. Even though I barely know Noah, there’s something about him that makes me want to be near him.
Maybe it’s just how he’s got this great, lop-sided smile, or how his hair still looks perfectly styled, even though he’s been running around and sweating all night. I think, it’s more than that.
As cute as he is, I think it might actually be his talent that I can’t get enough of.
“You were great tonight.” I say at last, since it seems like a pretty safe bet.
Noah just keeps walking, his shoulders pulling a little straighter.
If I’m honest with myself, which I usually try to be, I can admit I was kind of hoping he’d return the compliment. It's totally possible he was so involved in his own game that he didn’t really have a chance to notice anyone else. I guess. I’m not quite ready to let the topic go.
“I still feel so rusty out there since I didn’t get to play last year…”
“Didn’t make the team?” Noah’s voice is clipped. He still won’t look at me. This is getting less cute by the second.
“We moved here too late.” I say, no longer willing to fish for compliments or even to try to egg this conversation to go any farther than it has to.
Noah approached me, but now he’s—I’m really not sure what’s happening here.
It turns out I can be a whole lot less attracted to someone’s talent if they’re going to be a dick.
We walk in silence for a few seconds. I’m already trying to figure out how I can back out of this conversation without making it weird.
“You’ve...amaz...taking…” words tumble out of Noah’s mouth at an alarming speed. Honestly, I catch almost none of it.
All of the annoyance I’ve been feeling is quickly replaced by confusion. Maybe I’m just overtired. Nothing about any of this is making sense. For a second there, I thought maybe Noah was interested in me. Maybe he’s just looking for someone to stroke his ego.
“Sorry.” Noah says quietly, thankfully more coherently. “You just...make me kind of nervous.”
Oh. So he wasn’t being rude? Or just,not on purpose?
Wait. Did he just say I make him nervous? That has to be a good sign.
Suddenly, I’m giddy. Maybe a little nervous too. Just a little.
“What was it you were trying to say?” I ask.
Noah takes a deep breath, and finally turns his head to look at me. “Just that you have been intensely awesome with all of this. The fundraising and stuff.”
Okay, so he’s not complementing my skills on the field, I’ll definitely take it anyway.
“I’m just trying to help. I’ve probably messed things up as much as I’ve actually helped.” I really need to apologize to Kendra.
“If it weren’t for you, this whole weekend probably would have been wasted. Honestly, I think I would have gone crazy if it weren’t for you. Just sitting around all weekend, feeling every second ticking by, that much closer to my chances of playing soccer after graduation disappearing. Seriously, Reece. This sounds beyond cheesy, but...thank you.”
For once, I’m a little stunned by the compliment. By his gratitude. I’m usually all for compliments, praise, high-fives. While this kind of attention makes Reilly and Reagan uncomfortable, I’ve always loved it.
With Noah, I have no idea what to say.
“I don’t think I could have just sat around all weekend.” I admit, finally. “I wanted to help, but if I’d had to wait three days
to set things in motion, I probably would have ended up banging on the doors of town council members or something. I needed to be doing something. It never occurred to me not to drag everyone else along with me.”
“Well, you can drag me along with you any day. Just tell me what to do, and I’ll be there.”
Have I died and gone to cute boy heaven? Maybe.
From there, conversation between Noah and I is far more comfortable than it’s ever been. While I’ve enjoyed just watching him play, or admiring his… assets. This is so much better.
As we slowly make our way through our sleepy town, we mostly chat about soccer and baseball. I didn’t know he played! I only ever did one season of softball, and I hated it.
He tells me a little about his family too and what TV shows he’s obsessed with right now.
With each step, I feel like I can see a little deeper inside him.
I’m already kind of addicted.
It’s only when we reach the turn-off to my street that I realize just how far we’ve gone, walking and talking, completely losing track of everyone else. I probably already have a string of texts waiting for me from Jamie, demanding to know what happened between Noah and I, not that anything has. I know what I’d be thinking if I’d seen her in a similar position, and just how intense my own interrogation would be.
“Do you live around here?” I ask, slowing my pace. I know he doesn’t live on Oakridge, so no matter where Noah is headed, we’re going to have to say goodbye soon.
Noah stops walking completely and looks around. “No. Wait. I live… pretty much on the other side of town.”
The other side of town isn’t exactly far, unless he means the furthest reaches of Fairview. I still have to laugh. “So what are you doing here then?”
Noah continues to search the neighborhood with his gaze, still looking perplexed. “I don’t actually know. I kind of lost track of—well, pretty much everything while we were talking. I guess I was following you.”
We stand together alone on the sidewalk. I’m not sure if anyone else has noticed we’re missing, or if it even matters. Right now, all I’m seeing is him.
Noah is still watching me. He's rubbing his hands together and genuinely seems to be struggling to keep still.
Wow. He really is nervous. Somehow, that makes him even cuter.
I take a step closer to him, just to see how he’ll react. I know where I want this moment between us to go, but I’m not quite ready to take the leap. Being turned down by a guy like Noah would haunt my nightmares for a long time.
Noah doesn’t move away or closer from me. I guess I’m going to have to do this on my own.
I don’t wait another second, not willing to talk myself in or out of anything.
My lips are against Noah’s before I can stop myself. Not that I’d want to. For a second we just stay there, still against one another. It's not long before Noah leans in and responds.
I’m officially lost.
Noah may get more nervous around girls—or maybe just me—than I would have thought, but it’s undeniable that he knows what he’s doing. Sparks fly as my lips intertwine with his, my hands exploring his body.
I’m not sure how long we stay there, nonetheless, I love every second of it. Days and night could be passing around us for all I know.
Still, it ends too soon.
Noah pulls away but only a little, his dark eyes still only inches away from my face. One of his hands is still settled on my lower back while the other sits ever so gently against my hip.
“Wow.” he says.
“Agreed.” I’m grinning, my face still too close for him to see me. I still don’t want to pull away.
Maybe there’s still time for round two.
I move in and kiss him again.
If I hadn’t already texted my parents promising I’d be home any minute, I’m not sure I would have ever been able to tear myself away.
Chapter 16
Despite staying up too late last night, I wake up early the next morning, feeling better rested than I have since vacation ended, even though I could have happily slept for another several hours. I keep trying to explain to my sisters how exercising can make me feel like I have more energy instead of less. Maybe it’s the kind of thing you need to experience in order to understand.
It’s also totally possible that my time with Noah at the end of the day yesterday, has a big something to do with how much better I’m feeling.
It doesn’t take long to walk over to the supermarket parking lot where our hastily put together car wash is taking place, exchanging sleepy nods when I get there with everyone else who was unlucky enough be assigned to the first shift.
No one is really in the mood to chat yet and by the look of it, no one was smart enough to bring food, but hey, we brought the buckets, sponges and squeegees. I’ll survive an hour or two without food.
Maybe.
I’m mostly still just hoping that waking up at eight in the morning on a Sunday, will prove to be worth it when we manage to grab the attention of some of the extra generous, Sunday morning church crowd.
Since there isn’t anyone here yet, I take a few minutes to check my phone and obsess over our fundraising page to see how things are going.
Word is still spreading through the town, maybe a little beyond with each new share of our crowdfunding page, with those most affected by the budget cut talk to their friends and neighbors. While the initial surge of donations has died down a little, we still had a few hundred more on our donation page when we woke up than we had when I’d gone to sleep.
Not bad at all for only a couple of days.
Every time a new update comes in, I end up attempting to recalculate what our final total might be to try and figure out just how this ends. Every estimate I’ve made so far has turned out to be way off base. It's not like math is my strong suit anyway.
Still, I could be playing soccer again for more than just fun by this time next week.
I’m only startled out of my daydreaming when I spot Noah walking towards the lot from the opposite direction of my house.
I guess he really did go way off track from his own route home last night. I didn’t know he was supposed to be here this morning, I checked the schedule. Several times.
Noah doesn’t seem to be paying attention to anything in particular as he strides toward our group, my heart rate speeds up automatically as I start mentally reliving everything that happened last night all over again, for what has to be at least the tenth time.
If Noah so much as smiles at me, I’ll probably do something I really shouldn’t. I probably shouldn’t have kissed him at all the first time. Now all I want to do is reach out and touch him all over again.
I don’t regret last night, but there’s also only so far I’m willing to push the boundaries of the deal I made with my parents.
Maybe if what I’d traded my freedom this semester for was something I cared about a little less, I’d be willing to take my chances and just hope I didn’t get caught.
I won’t risk Molly.
Maybe it’s for the best that Noah walks over to his buddies, not looking at me even once. Taking the option away all together. I should be relieved, instead I’m a little annoyed at the universe that it’s not even trying to tempt me.
My friends have been way luckier than Noah’s, and I don’t really know anyone else standing around the parking lot waiting for our first customers of the morning. As the first hour passes, it turns out that washing cars is actually something I’m pretty good at. Or at least, I don’t screw anything up badly enough that anyone notices.
More than once I try to catch Noah’s eye, just to see what kind of reaction I warrant, but he always seems to be looking everywhere but where I am. Eventually, I kind of have to admit to myself that he might not want a repeat of last night as much as I did. He doesn’t even seem to want to talk to me.
Right. It’s for the best. That’s what I have to keep telling myself.
I assign myself to interior detailing, not wanting to deal with water or soap in a chilly fall morning, throwing myself into my newest assignment as though it's every bit as important to me as soccer.
Not willing to let him think he has the upper hand, I mumble out a half-hearted hey to Noah the first time we end up working together on the same car, acting like I’m too busy to say anything else. Each time he’s close by though, I still can’t help but sneak a peek, wondering what he’s thinking or just wanting to have a look.
Why do guys have to be such a pain in the ass?
For my last car of the day I’ve crunched myself into an old Honda, removing what looks like years of garbage from the back seat, the opposite-side door opens. I look up just as Noah pops his head inside, leaning down to prop his elbows against the seat.
“Are you avoiding me?” He asks.
At first, all I want to do is pretend I have no idea what he’s talking about. Frankly, I just don’t see the point. “You were avoiding me first!”
Noah looks genuinely confused, his impossibly unblemished face looking far younger in the expression.
“Oh come on!” I say, not all that convinced. “As soon as you saw me this morning, you got all weird and kept looking away. You didn’t even come say hello. I figured, with last night…”
“That I was avoiding you? What kind of crazy person do you take me for? I switched with Bruins because I wanted to see you this morning!”
I’m grinning before I can help myself. Right away, Noah smiles back, showing off perfect white teeth. How is it that some people get to look like he does and be mega-talented at the same time?
Noah must take my reaction as some kind of invitation. A little awkwardly, he moves farther into the car, trying to pile all of his limbs in at a bit of a weird angle.
I can see the moment when he decides he’s going to kiss me, almost like it’s happening in slow motion.
This is my chance to cut this off right now. Last night was fun. I can't risk a second chance. Thanks but no thanks.
