‘You mustn’t blame yourself,’ Alexia said.
Mark smiled grimly. ‘I don’t,’ he said. ‘At least, only seventy percent of the time. The rest of the time I blame his wife for leaving him, the customers who stopped buying from him and caused his business to fail.’
‘Oh, Mark…’ He didn’t realise his eyes were wet until she reached out to touch his face, a wealth of compassion reaching out to him from her beautiful face. He reached up to cover her hand with his.
‘I haven’t spoken about this to anyone,’ he told her hoarsely. ‘People know, of course, but I haven’t discussed it.’
Her voice was husky. ‘You can always talk to me,’ she said.
He took her hand from his face and looked down at it as he held it in his hand. ‘That isn’t what I want,’ he said, looking up at her. ‘Not now.’
She swallowed, licking her lips, and his gaze followed the movement of her tongue hungrily. ‘What do you want, Mark?’ she asked, and he pulled her trembling body closer, his eyes raking hungrily over her face, her throat, and the glorious curve of her breasts swelling from the top of her golden dress.
‘This,’ he said, and kissed her.
Chapter Ten
Next door’s radio alarm clicked on as it always did at five a.m. Normally Alexia just stirred slightly before going back to sleep, but today she was instantly awake, her skin tingling wherever it came into contact with Mark’s body, which was the whole length of her. They were lying spooned together, Mark’s arm curled around her, and his voice was in her ear when he exclaimed, ‘What the hell’s that? Did I wake up in the middle of a party?’
She giggled and turned slightly to kiss him. ‘My neighbour’s a postman,’ she said. ‘He gets up early.’
‘Tell him to change his job!’ grumbled Mark, and she giggled again, turning further to plant a row of kisses along his neck.
Next door someone switched the music off, but in Alexia’s heart, it was still playing. Last night had been amazing beyond her dreams, and this morning something had shifted within her. That something was trust. Nobody who wasn’t totally honest and sincere could make love to her like that; make her feel like that.
‘On second thoughts,’ said Mark, holding her more tightly, ‘tell him to get up as early as he likes.’ Then he was kissing her, quickly re-igniting the maelstrom of passion between them.
Once again Alexia gave herself up to it, not afraid to let every barrier she had ever put up to slip away until she was exposed and vulnerable, calling out his name as need and pleasure sent her spiralling out of control.
An hour later, when her neighbour’s children began to bounce on the bed on the other side of the dividing wall, she laughed, watching Mark’s expression. ‘Something tells me you don’t live in a terraced house,’ she joked.
‘I live in the countryside,’ he said. ‘There aren’t many people around at all.’
She was intrigued. ‘That sounds a bit isolated,’ she said, realising suddenly how very little she knew about him. She didn’t even know what jobs he’d had or wanted to apply for – the most basic of information. And yet the feeling of trust persisted. She knew those details would all be supplied soon enough.
But not now, apparently, for after giving her another kiss, Mark swung his legs out of bed. ‘Speaking of people, I’d better go. I’ve arranged to go and visit another project I might volunteer at – a children’s’ project and a youth club. I’d better go home and take a shower.’
Feeling suddenly bereft, she clicked on the bedside lamp, sitting up in bed to watch him search for his clothes. ‘You’re going to be busy, volunteering at two places,’ she said.
He smiled. ‘I like being busy.’
‘You’re very welcome to have a shower here.’
‘Thanks, but then I’d need to put these clothes on again afterwards.’ He turned to kiss her, his eyes gleaming. ‘And besides, if I showered here, I’d need you to shower with me, and then I really would be end up being late.’
She smiled against his mouth. It was best really that Mark wasn’t volunteering at The Heath Centre today. She wasn’t sure she’d be any good at hiding what had happened between them, and she didn’t want to have to deal with either Julia’s smart comments or Bert’s disapproval.
‘See you tonight then?’ she asked, stroking his hair.
‘I’m not sure what time I’ll be finished.’
‘It doesn’t matter how late it is,’ she said. ‘Come round here when you’re ready.’
He kissed her again. ‘Last night was amazing,’ he said. ‘You’re amazing.’ He cradled her face with both his hands, looking deep into her eyes. Something about his expression reminded her of that time in the reception area when she had caught him with his guard completely down.
‘What is it?’ she asked, but he smiled quickly.
‘Nothing. I’ll see you later.’
* * * * *
Mark let himself out of Alexia’s house and made his way round the corner to his own. He had so not intended that to happen. Tomorrow – tomorrow – he was due to return home and would have to reveal the truth about his identity.
God, she was so sweet, so utterly amazing. He hadn’t realized it could be like that. What they’d shared had gone way beyond the physical. He’d been truly himself with her – had given her all of him. He had to tell her the truth privately, away from The Heath Centre. He should have done it last night, but they’d had other things on their minds. He would tell her tonight.
‘Finally,’ he seemed to hear Jonathan’s voice in his head. ‘Finally you understand about love.’
And, as he let himself into his borrowed house to get ready for the day, Mark knew that he did. So what if he’d only known Alexia for a matter of days? If Jonathan had felt even a half of what he felt for Alexia for Helen, then his life must have seemed utterly pointless after she’d left him. He didn’t know how he and Alexia were going to be able to conduct a relationship with his work schedule and living forty miles away from each other. He only knew that they must and they would. A few weeks ago, damn it, yesterday, he would have been frightened by the prospect of a permanent, committed relationship. Now the prospect of never sharing another night like last night was the frightening, not-to-be-contemplated thing.
* * * * *
It was an unremarkable day at the Centre – a day like hundreds of others Alexia had spent there. And yet, for Alexia, absolutely everything had changed.
‘Enjoy yourself last night then, did you?’ Bert asked that afternoon as she hummed a little tune while they picked runner beans together.
Alexia flushed brightly red and moved behind the runner bean canes. ‘What’s that?’ she asked.
‘That charity do. Had a good time strutting your stuff, did you?’
‘We raised a lot of money for the different charities,’ she said. ‘So yes, it was very good.’
‘Wasn’t what I asked,’ persisted Bert.
‘The evening turned out better than my wildest dreams,’ she said, then changed the subject abruptly. ‘How about you, Bert? Have you done any practise for your interview?’
‘Told you, I don’t need to practise,’ he said grumpily, clamming up. ‘If they don’t like me, they can stick their job.’
Alexia sighed. The trouble was, a part of her agreed with Bert. So much game playing took place in the world. Why couldn’t people just be themselves? Why was honesty such an under-valued quality? Bert was an excellent gardener, and, once you’d got him onto your side, he was extremely loyal. But the harsh truth was that if everyone else made an effort to show their very best side to a potential employer, then anyone who chose not to tow that line was going to end up losing out. It was just the way of the world.
‘I’m sure you’ll be fine,’ she said. ‘Try not to worry about it.’
‘Don’t intend to,’ grunted Bert.
They worked on in silence, giving Alexia time to think about Mark. Was he still at the children’s project? And if he was, wa
s he causing havoc amongst the female employees? What time would he come round? Should she cook for him? Or would they go straight to bed?
‘Lexy? There’s someone to see you.’
Her heart leapt. Was it Mark, back earlier than he’d expected to be? Eagerly, she looked up. But it wasn’t Mark. It was Chris.
‘Chris! What are you doing here?’ Alexia put her trowel down and straightened, aware of Julia’s undisguised interest.
He was wearing chinos and a blue shirt, and the sun was shining on his blond, expertly cut hair. He looked completely out of place amongst the sweat-shirted trainees. ‘I told you last night – we need to talk. I looked for you, but you’d gone.’
Julia was still standing gawping. Alexia glanced at her pointedly, and finally she pulled a cheeky face and moved away. But several trainees were working nearby, so Alexia spoke quietly. ‘This is my place of work, Chris,’ she said. ‘You can’t just come here and…’
‘Ten minutes, Alexia, that’s all I ask.’
His arms were folded across his chest – he didn’t look as if he was going anywhere any time soon. She sighed. Perhaps it was better to just get it over with. It seemed he was determined to see her. ‘All right. Ten minutes. But that’s all.’ Turning, she spoke to Bert. ‘I’ll be back soon, Bert. Could you supervise everybody ’til then? Thanks.’
Walking past Chris, she led the way out into the reception area. ‘I’m just going down the road for a quick coffee, Julia. I’ve got my mobile if anyone needs me.’
‘I’m sure we won’t need to disturb you,’ Julia said. ‘Have fun!’
Fun was the very last thing this was going to be. The café was at the end of the street, and Alexia led the way, grateful that Chris didn’t attempt to speak. Before the previous night, they hadn’t seen each other since the night he’d told her he was going away to New York to start a business. She pictured herself looking at him, wide-eyed and a bit shocked, excited too though – waiting for an invitation to join him. Why wasn’t he looking at her? Surely he knew she’d be happy for him? He’d been excited about his dot com business idea for a while.
‘Your father’s backing me,’ he went on. ‘It’s an amazing opportunity.’
‘Of course it is!’ she said. ‘It’s fantastic! I’m so glad Dad’s prepared to back you.’ Alexia remembered how she’d paused, willing him to look up at her. ‘So why am I getting the feeling you’re about to tell me something I don’t want to hear?’ she said. ‘Because if it’s about me relocating to New York, I don’t mind. Does it have to be New York though? Surely you can set the business up anywhere?’
‘New York is where the contacts are. I need to meet with people face-to-face.’ Now, finally, he looked up. A muscle was twitching in his cheek. Alexia felt suddenly cold.
‘Chris?’ she asked. ‘You’re scaring me. What is it?’
Then he told her. Her father had agreed to back him, but only on the condition that he didn’t have any contact with Alexia. For five years.
They were inside the café now. Alexia ordered a cappuccino she didn’t want. Chris ordered a latte and paid for both drinks. The only free table was in the window. Alexia would have preferred one at the back of the café where it was dark. And preferably one with more than two chairs, so she didn’t have to sit directly opposite him. Once she had loved this man – her life had revolved around him. That seemed so long ago now. Even last night – that dance with him – felt like an age ago. It was as if by making love to Mark, she had erased her past.
Lifting her cappuccino to her lips, Alexia smiled to herself, remembering. Mark. In only a few hours, she would see him again. As far as she was concerned, it couldn’t come round quick enough, and she looked at Chris, feeling suddenly fortified. ‘So, what was so important you had to drag me away from work?’
He looked her straight in the face. ‘It’s your father,’ he said. ‘He’s dangerously ill. Lex, he’s dying.’
* * * * *
Mark made his mind up about the young people’s charity quickly. He hadn’t bothered to hide his identity from them this time – he’d been upfront about his reasons for visiting them from the start. And the staff had seemed genuine. The work they did was clearly excellent, and Mark knew that both he and Jonathan would have benefited from such a project when they’d been the same age as the young people he’d met. Sponsoring their work was a no-brainer. As was sponsoring the work of The Heath Centre, if he was honest with himself. Had he been stringing out his investigation process to have more contact with Alexia? Very probably.
Smiling, Mark made his way to the Centre. He would surprise Alexia by turning up there this afternoon. There were sure to be some gardening tasks to get on with, and if his luck was in, maybe he could get her alone in the potting shed.
Julia greeted him, all smiles and batting eyelashes. ‘Hi, Mark. We weren’t expecting you today. What a nice surprise!’
Mark smiled only briefly, remembering Julia’s attempt to get him in a clinch. She was a woman who didn’t need a crumb of encouragement – a woman to whom a smile was an invitation to a date. And the only person Mark wanted to date was Alexia.
‘Is Alexia around?’ he asked, attempting to keep his tone of voice strictly neutral.
Julia’s smile grew. ‘No, she’s not I’m afraid,’ she said. ‘She went off with this really hot-looking man a few minutes ago. You only just missed them. They’re having a coffee in the café at the end of the road. No idea who he is, but I get the strong feeling it had nothing to do with work, if you know what I mean.’
She was watching him carefully to gauge his reaction. Mark knew he ought to walk straight past her to the gardens to get on with some work. He ought to do anything but the thing he knew he had to do – check out the truth of what she’d just told him.
‘Thanks,’ he managed to say, his smile stiff. ‘I’ll go and see her at the café.’
‘Not sure she’ll thank you for the interruption,’ Julia said. ‘When I say the guy was hot, I mean seriously hot.’
Mark didn’t bother to reply. Outside, the pavement felt spongy beneath his feet. It was only Julia, winding him up. She’d sensed how he felt about Alexia and she was causing trouble – she was that type. And who wouldn’t sense how he and Alexia felt about each other? The space between them practically sizzled when they were close. And last night there hadn’t been any space between them at all. Last night had been completely amazing.
The café was just a few metres away. Suddenly Mark stopped stock-still. For there, at a table in the window, were Alexia and the man Julia had described. She had her back to the window, but it was definitely Alexia. And the ‘hot man’ with her was the guy who’d bid to dance with her the previous evening – Chris, the guy Alexia had described as her ex. She was in his arms.
He was saying something to her, his hand stroking its way possessively down the long copper river of her hair, and Mark stood, watching, unable to move. Chris looked up – saw Mark. For a long moment, their gazes locked. Then he looked away from and bent to press his face against Alexia’s hair.
Mark had seen enough. Turning away from the lovers’ reunion, he walked quickly away, hurt stabbing him with every footstep.
* * * * *
‘Alexia, let me help you through this. I told your father I would stay away from you for five years – well, that time’s almost up. I’ve built my business, and there’s nothing to stop us being together now.’
Finally, Chris’ words penetrated Alexia’s emotional fog, and she became aware of his hands on her back, pressing her into his body. His face against her hair. Drawing in a shuddering breath, she pushed against his chest. ‘Don’t be silly, Chris,’ she said. ‘Let me go.’
‘Why is it silly?’ he said, not relaxing his grip. ‘We were good together.’
‘If we were so good together, then why did you accept my father’s pay off?’ Angrily, Alexia wiped the tears from her face with the backs of her hands. People were looking at them, but she was too angry to c
are. If Chris didn’t let her go soon, she was going to stamp on his foot.
‘It wasn’t a pay off. It was an investment.’ Reluctantly, he let her go, but he didn’t push his chair back, and he was still far too close for comfort.
‘You know that’s not true. Dad never wanted us to be together – not even when we were teenagers. When we got engaged, he decided to do something to split us up. And it worked, Chris.’ Despite everything, she couldn’t keep the hurt from her voice. ‘You took his money. You chose the money over me.’ She moved her own chair away, creating some distance between them.
Chris ran a hand over his short hair, his eyes begging her to understand. ‘I wanted to build a strong future for us, that’s all. Nobody would give me a loan. If my dad had been alive, maybe it would have been different. Your father should have just offered me the money without forcing me to choose – he was my guardian. If you want to blame anyone, then blame him.’
She had blamed her father – and that blame had become a wall between them for five long years. Now he was ill, possibly dying, and it felt as if that wall was crumbling – as if she might become buried in the rubble.
Shakily, she reached into her bag for a tissue. ‘This isn’t what I want to talk about, Chris. I want to know about Dad. Why hasn’t mum mentioned anything about his heart condition?’
Chris shrugged sulkily. ‘Maybe he hasn’t told her, I don’t know. Your father’s a law to himself, isn’t he? I had to go to see him about something and he told me – that’s all I know. I’m sure he didn’t expect me to tell you, but I had to, Lexy. You deserved to know.’
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