Her look was blank.
“Jesus! You’re not a porn star, for God’s sake!” He punched his arm in the air. “You’re a beautiful woman with a perfect body who shouldn’t have to change her body just to please her husband. If he doesn’t love you now, he’s not ever no matter what you do.”
She stood and turned away from him. “I want you to take me home. Now.”
“Sure, fine.” He was furious with her, just as much as he was furious with himself for getting so carried away. But she was just so stubborn at times, and why wouldn’t she listen to him? She was just right the way she was, and no one deserved to be treated like she was. He gathered up their food and drove her home in silence. Before she yanked her arm away from him and slammed his truck door in his face, he calmly said, “You know, Liz, for such a smart girl, you sure can be dumb sometimes.”
.
Ed leaned against the wall and watched as Lizzie pedaled fast and furiously on the old stationary bike they had stashed in the back bedroom of their house. She mumbled occasionally and he thought he caught a sure can be dumb sometimes before she looked up and spotted him standing there. She shot him a look.
“Did that rat come here and talk to you about me and him?”
“By rat, I assume you mean Payton, and he came here to tell me you and Grace used quite a bit of toilet paper on his yard.” He smiled. “If we happened to have a heart to heart while he was here then that’s none of your business.”
Lizzie pedaled faster. “Yeah? Well did he also mention that he was planning to take me on a picnic and tell me what a terrible guy I picked for a husband?”
The smile faded from his face. “No, he didn’t.”
She mopped her face with the towel wrapped around her neck. “Well he did.”
So that was what this was all about. Faith had warned him that Lizzie was a tad touchy this afternoon, and he chalked it up to wedding stress, but this was more than that. He shrugged. “Listen, sweet pea, if he told you that he doesn’t like him then he must have some reason.”
She grunted. “What is it with you people? I mean, I knew that head coaches got special treatment in this town, but brain washing privileges, too? Come on!”
He dismissed her comment with a chuckle, but he felt his heartbeat pick up. He’d spent a fortune on this wedding and he could picture it all going right down the toilet. But, he had to remind himself that if that’s what it took to see his baby happy then it was worth it.
He frowned. “Are you having second thoughts? Is that what this is about?”
“No, daddy.”
His sigh of relief was audible, but he pressed her again just to be certain. “Are you happy with Josh, Lizzie?”
She looked up at him with shocked eyes. “Yes! We’re beyond happy together! We’re deliriously happy… we’ve never been… we’re….” She stopped pedaling and looked down at the ground.
“Lizzie?” He took a cautious step forward when he saw her body shaking. Not until he heard the sobs did he know she was crying. “Oh, baby. Come here.” He pulled his precious daughter off the bike and into his arms. He would do anything to see her never cry again. Didn’t she know it broke his heart to see her upset?
“What is it, sweet pea? What’s wrong? Did he hurt you?”
She sniffled. He wiped a tear off her face. “No, daddy. Nothing like that. It’s just… I guess I’m tired from all the things leading up to the wedding, but I’m just… I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”
He rubbed her shoulder and kissed her forehead. “Of course you don’t know. It’s a big commitment, and the way we’ve always said it around here- it’s forever. If that’s not scary, I don’t know what is.”
“Did you ever get worried about you and mom?”
He chuckled. “Heavens, yes. I was so excited when she said she’d marry me, and then I thought I’d crawl out of my skin the last week before we got married I was so uptight.”
Lizzie breathed a little lighter. “Okay, good. Here I was thinking I was the only one to ever feel this way. I was scared for a minute there.”
Ed hugged his daughter tightly. “No, Lizzie. And don’t forget, you’re not alone. Your mom and I will always talk with you if you need us. Just get some rest. These last few days are going to fly by and then you’ll be off on your honeymoon, and you and Josh will laugh over how silly this whole thing was.”
She smiled. “You’re right. I know, you’re completely right.”
He felt good about his peace making skills as he left her and made his way out to the garden to check the status of the pansies and the fountain they were installing for the reception. If there was one thing he could do, it was console an upset female. Thank God for Ed Benford, he laughed to himself. Thousands upon thousands of dollars, and at least three major credit cards were at risk of certain demise if he hadn’t been around to resolve that crisis.
What he didn’t know was that despite his talk, Lizzie was still as uptight as ever, and not at all certain that Josh Turner was the man she was willing to have spend eternity by her side… especially if he expected her to have blond hair and massive, perfectly positioned breasts all the while.
Chapter Twenty-nine
By Wednesday, three days and counting until the bid day, Lizzie wasn’t sleeping and she was so nervous that all she would eat was a bagel and two rolls of Tums a day. Grace tried to show concern but all she’d received for her effort was a tongue lashing and a dissertation on the problems with weddings today.
Lizzie had taken Grace’s head off about five times too many for her to endure anymore of this abuse, so she brushed her hair out and dabbed some lip gloss on her lips and grabbed her purse as she headed out the door.
Josh had moved into the Motel 6 with his mother when she’d arrived in town on Tuesday. Grace prayed she’d be out shopping at some pricey boutique store in Clarkston when she got there. One perk to living in a small town was that she knew all the hotel staff, had gone to high school with probably three fourths of them, and in Grace’s case, slept with more than a few.
It just so happened that she’d had an extended relationship with the concierge who informed her that Mrs. Turner was out checking over the last minute details for the rehearsal dinner and Josh was alone in his hotel room, number 216. Grace’s lip turned up in a wicked Grinch Who Stole Christmas type smile.
Payton studied himself in the mirror; black suit, white shirt, silver tie. Outwardly he was ready, from his neatly combed hair down to his shined and polished shoes. But inwardly…. He sighed.
As much as he hadn’t wanted to attend Lizzie’s wedding, somehow he found himself thinking about it, and when the time had come he had showered and dressed. So here he stood staring back at his reflection in the mirror.
He still had thirty minutes to go until he needed to leave for the church, but he felt edgy and even the intense workout he had done that morning didn’t seem to be helping his nerves. Instead of pacing the old hardwood floors of his house he picked up his house keys and locked the front door behind him as he left. He might be a little sweaty from walking the two miles to the church in the heat, but he figured no one would be looking at him anyway, so what did it really matter?
Memories that he had never quite forgotten came back to him as he walked: making love by the lake and then again in his truck bed; Lizzie laughing at him when he’d spilled a milkshake down his shirt by accident; bonfires out at Murphy’s farm with all the gang, and Lizzie tucked up in his arms hiding her face from the scary stories Colin or Hank would tell. There were so many memories to think over that he almost walked past the front steps of the church.
It struck him as odd that Lizzie’s father hadn’t thought to at least line the railings leading up to the white double front doors with greenery, or that the church bells weren’t ringing, but he made his way up the stairs and through the doors anyway. What really struck him, though, was when he walked into the sanctuary and not a single person was in sight.
Had someth
ing happened? And why wasn’t he informed if it had? Payton sat in the last pew of the church until fifteen minutes past seven, but no one from the wedding party ever showed. A few people Payton didn’t recognize came in, took one look at the empty church and left shrugging their shoulders at him.
By seven-thirty he decided that either the wedding wasn’t taking place or he was wrong about the date. He knew from all the times he had stared at that invitation in disbelief that the date wasn’t wrong, but he was too hopeful that Lizzie had changed her mind to put much stock in it. Somehow his luck never seemed to hold when it came to her.
He waited another thirty minutes just to be sure, and then he picked up the tie he had chucked during his wait and started the long walk home. Surprisingly the night was cooling down and a nice breeze was blowing the lush green leaves in the trees. Payton decided on a detour through the town park on his walk home, and pushed open the old iron gate that lead into the park.
Why hadn’t Lizzie shown for her wedding? The thought troubled him. Was he responsible for her decision or had something happened to Josh to change his mind? He tried to suppress it, but he felt the first few licks of hope beginning to gnaw at his stomach. He made his way along the pebbled concrete pathway edging the small river that wound through the park. He wanted to walk to her house and find out straight from her what had happened, but he figured that wasn’t probably the best course of action today. Instead he continued his journey through the park.
He had just reached the bend in the path when he spotted her sitting on a bench tucked back among a cluster of Tulip-poplars and Magnolias. She was wearing old faded blue jeans with the beginnings of a hole at the knees, and the same soft pale pink plaid flannel shirt she had worn camping with the gang in high school. On top of her head she wore the soft tulle material of her veil that perched there with the help of a pearl encrusted headband.
Payton ducked behind the thick trunk of an old Pecan tree and watched her for a few minutes. Lizzie’s eyes were closed, and her bottom lip was drawn into her mouth at the corner where she could chew on it. He remembered her doing that at times in high school when she was trying to work through a difficult problem. She heaved a heavy sigh and shook her head to some imaginary question rambling around in her head.
Lizzie didn’t hear him coming so she jolted when he sank onto the space on the bench beside her. She flicked her eyes over him, looking sad and irritated all in one cute, half flannel half tulle covered bundle.
“What are you doing here?” she asked as she turned her head away to watch two squirrels chase each other across the park.
“I was walking home from the church.”
“Didn’t anyone call you?”
“Apparently not.” He paused and ran a hand through his hair. “Want to talk about it?”
She shook her head as she started to nibble her lower lip again. He could tell she was uncomfortable with him being there, but he didn’t care. She was hurting and he wanted to help.
“Care to explain this?” He lifted the soft, sheer material that floated around her shoulders.
“Actually, I’d rather not.”
Payton pulled the hand that had been touching the veil back down into his lap. He searched his brain for something to say besides what ate at his thoughts, but came up empty.
“It’s a nice night for a walk. Care to take one with me?”
She didn’t respond.
“What about if I promise not to ask you the obvious questions that are lurking in my mind?”
She blinked up at him, killing him with the vulnerability he saw there.
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
She made a show of studying her nails, which Payton noticed had been painted clear with little half moons of white at the tips. “Okay, I guess.”
He held out his broad hand to help her up then tucked it gently underneath his arm like a gentleman caller from long, long ago. The crickets that lay hidden in the tall grass serenaded them as they strolled along the pebbled path. The sun, bright orange and warm on their skin was settling in the distance casting long shadows through the trees.
Payton chuckled to himself.
“What? Are you laughing at me?” Lizzie regarded him insecurely.
“No, I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing at that stupid old dog you used to have.”
Lizzie turned her lip out in a pout. “Skipper wasn’t stupid. He had a brilliant brain.”
“I have my doubts about that, but I will give him kudos for his personality disorders.”
“Disorders? You can hardly call tracking a trail a personality disorder.”
Payton stopped short and regarded her quizzically. Lizzie couldn’t help but give a little smile at the face he made at her. “Liz, the dog tracked imaginary ants. I’d definitely call that a disorder. Probably more like a psychosis.”
“Well, that was the worst problem he had.”
Payton let out an impolite grunt.
“What other grievances do you have against the poor dog?”
“Poor dog, my butt. He peed on my leg.”
Lizzie flushed but kept on walking. Someone needed to be embarrassed for that dog because, Lord bless his resting soul, he certainly never was for himself. “He was nervous. He did irrational things when big hulking football heroes pretended they were going to use him as a football.”
“I wouldn’t have really done that.”
“He didn’t know that.”
“Well, that certainly explains away him hiking his leg on my new Nike’s.”
Lizzie grumbled under her breath and stomped ahead while Payton let out a rumble of a laugh. At least he’d succeeded in taking her mind off of things for a while.
“Seriously, Liz.” Payton jogged to catch up with her. “You have to admit that dog always was good for a laugh when you needed one.”
“Yeah, like now. God I wish that dog was here right now.” He reached out and pulled her arm gently. She stopped and looked up at him, her eyes still pathetic sad puppy dog eyes, only now they were full of pain.
“I’m here, does that count?”
“I wish Payton, but…” She trailed off and heaved another heavy sigh. Brushing a hand over her head she pulled the veil off her head and threaded the pearl headband through her fingers. When she spoke again, it was soft and sad, and full of defeat. “You know, I really think I’ve had all the fun with men that I can handle for a while. I think I’m going to go turn myself into a convent and be a nun for the rest of my life.”
Payton’s heart hurt for her, but he pushed a smile onto his face, and lifted her head with his index finger below her jaw. He shook his head at her. “Something tells me you wouldn’t make it very long as a nun. They’d kick you out as soon as they saw how practiced you are with that right hook. Aren’t nuns supposed to take a vow of nonviolence?”
Lizzie didn’t laugh like he thought she would. Instead, she looked more depressed and turned away, walking toward the small arched bridge that lead the path from one side of a small creek to the other. Great, Payton thought. He was supposed to be helping her, not making her feel worse.
She stopped halfway over the bridge and looked down at the minnows swimming in the water below her. She leaned against the railing staring down into the water for so long that Payton thought she might have forgotten he was still standing there beside her. After a while, though, she started to talk.
“I woke up this morning and for the first time in probably two months I wasn’t nervous. I don’t know exactly why, all I know is that when I looked in the mirror the girl looking back at me was telling me it was time and I was ready.” She studied her nails again. “I went and got my nails done, got my hair done, had a wonderful bridesmaid’s luncheon. And the church… the church was beautiful.”
Payton took a deep breath and waited for her to finish the story. The way her eyes were glazed over as she was deep in thought made him think it wouldn’t have mattered if a total stranger had been standing
next to her just then because now was when the dam finally was breaking and she was ready to let all her thoughts out.
“You should have seen how amazing the flowers were at the front of the church,” she said with a small smile on her face. “I had my dress on… I didn’t care that it was four hours before the wedding. I’ve been waiting my whole life to put on that wedding dress- it was my mom’s when she got married- and I put it on almost as soon as I got to the church just so I had extra time to wear it.
“I was sitting on the front pew watching the florist put the last flowers in their spots when I felt his hand on my shoulder. Josh had good hands, not too big, not too small.” Lizzie rubbed a hand up and down her arm as if she were cold. “He startled me a little because his face was so pale and so serious… I should have known right then he had something on his mind.”
She was so wrapped in thought that she didn’t even notice that she’d started to shiver. Whether from shock at reliving those moments with Josh or from cold Payton couldn’t be sure. He took his suit jacket off and put it around her shoulders. She huddled down into its warmth, but other than that she gave no indication that she even knew it or he was there.
“He tried to smile, but his lips were shaking, and that’s when I knew. I took a step a back, as if that was going to help anything,” she laughed sorrowfully. “He said he was sorry probably five hundred times, and I just stood there. I couldn’t blink, I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t even move, and Josh just started talking a mile a minute telling me all the reasons why we shouldn’t get married.
“’ We’re not the same people we used to be when we started dating,’ he told me. We don’t have the same goals in life, we don’t have the same family values, we don’t have the same ideals, we don’t have the same view of what a spouse should be, we don’t, we don’t, we don’t…” Lizzie scrubbed a hand across her furrowed brow. “The whole time I kept thinking to myself why me, why now, why today after my father spent all this money on the flowers and the food and all the invitations.
The Heart Will Lead You Home Page 30
