by LS Anders
Fuck his heart, but he’d given that same speech many times over when girls would show up at his door or at his tattoo shop looking for some sign that he was going to belong to them. That their pussy was the magical vag that had finally won over his heart. The one that he would never get enough of. The one that would cure him of his man-whoring ways.
He almost laughed at the irony.
Almost.
“So, since nothing has changed between us, we should go out and have a drink tonight. My treat.”
Jerking back as if she’d struck him, he leaned back in his chair and regarded her through narrowing eyes.
Was she fucking joking right now? Was this her way of trying to soothe the damage she had just heaped upon his ego?
He’d gone along with all her suggested outings so far in order to be with her, but she was either playing hard to get or she was simply not into him. Whatever her reason for the no-more-sex. Two could play at this game and even though he loved her despite himself, he had never kneeled before any female, and he wasn’t about to start now.
He wasn’t accustomed to being at any woman’s beck and call, and he sure as shit wasn’t about to start now. Not even for Evana. He loved her, but there was a line he wasn’t willing to cross. Pussy-whipped was a state of mind he never wanted to find himself.
Sucking in a breath through his teeth, he leaned forward, a smile twitched the edges of his lips as he studied her face hard for her reaction to his answer. “Sorry, bab…, I mean Evana, but I already have plans for the evening. Maybe I’ll take a rain check.”
Evana hadn’t expected him to tell her no. Today was his birthday, and she wanted to give him the gift she’d hidden in her desk drawer.
Sex with him had been amazingly good, but when she’d woken up from her nap to find herself wrapped in a warm, sexy male, she had at first thought it was Kyle, then reality seeped its way in taking away her moment of bliss.
She didn’t want to get involved with him above friendship, her heart couldn’t take another loss if, make that, when he cheated on her. She wasn’t into sharing and from what she knew of Jason, he wasn’t into monogamy.
“Oh, alright.” She wandered back over to her desk. A band squeezed around her heart.
It wasn’t like he didn’t have any other friends to go out with, she had just assumed he would join her because he always had. He probably already had something planned with Tegan and Vehn.
“I know it’s your day to use the workroom, but if you aren’t expecting anyone at three, do you mind if I use it for about an hour? Avie had to reschedule all my people from yesterday’s little distraction.”
“No, I don’t mind. Help yourself.” Her eyes narrowed on him as he made light of their lunchtime love fest.
“Thanks.”
She knew he hadn’t thought twice about what they’d done. One-night stands were a daily occurrence in his world. His comment reinforcing her decision not to have sex with him again.
Watching from her vantage point behind her desk, he hadn’t even looked over at her when he’d spoken, as if he were too enthralled with his computer that he couldn’t spare her a glance.
Anger bloomed over her skin, wanting to growl. But he didn’t owe her shit, and she had initiated the sex. She needed to be an adult about it and take it for what it was, a sexual encounter that had taken care of her pent-up frustrations.
But, had it really?
This morning she’d felt the delicious ache in both her private areas and longed to have him there again. An instant shot of desire had uncoiled inside her belly that had her reaching for her cell to call him and ask for another round.
Instead she had dropped the device like it was hot. A cold shower was a safer bet, and she wouldn’t grow attached to the cold water like she would if she continued to quench her desires with Jason.
Another eight hour day had come and gone.
Wiping down her artist table and chair, she was glad for the lemon scented disinfectant spray that was masking the cologne Jason always wore.
He had finished with his client just as her next one had walked through the door. She hadn’t been prepared for the flood of wetness that had rushed between her thighs when she’d walked into their shared workspace.
His masculine scent combined with the intoxicating cologne he always wore sent a delicious fullness south. An echo of how he felt ghosted in her nether regions, making her want to rub herself.
Yesterday was nothing like the back seat of his car all those years ago. The pain from her hymen being breached had cut through any pleasure when he’d entered her with a single slam of his hips. Yesterday was all about the pleasure. Even when he’d pushed himself inside her rectum, it was blissful.
She’d never allowed anyone to enter her there, only the small plug, but she’d been blinded by lust after so long of abstinence that she hadn’t cared where he stuffed his cock as long as he continued to pleasure her.
Tegan’s voice rumbled down the hall. Looking over, she smiled at him as he passed by with his client. He smiled back, that is, in what passed as a smile for Tegan.
Relieved he and Rayna had made up, she was looking forward to their future wedding. Rayna was so happy and beautiful with her pregnancy glow. She still couldn’t believe they were expecting. She had known Rayna the longest out of all her tattoo artists. Secretly, Rayna was her favorite. The woman was such a genuinely sweet person, that it was impossible not to bond with her.
A wave of regret hit her as she thought about how she’d had to keep everyone at arm’s length. A necessary survival skill that didn’t make her feel any better about how she’d had to keep secrets from her friends.
She knew Rayna was curious about her moodiness, but she just didn’t have the strength to explain to anyone how sad she’d been lately over Kyle. It had been so long ago that she felt like a fool for lingering in her sadness when Rayna had rebounded so well from her own loss, while she was floundering like an idiot not being able to let go of her past and move forward.
Hell, even Callie had made a miraculous recovery from her nasty ex-boyfriend. Here she was stuck in a mourning cycle that she couldn’t seem to pull herself free of.
Until Jason.
That scared her. Those warm feelings that had assaulted her heart when she’d first laid eyes on him were both confusing and terrifying.
Tegan wandered back the way he came, and she followed him into the next room.
“So, you and Jason must have big plans tonight,” she hedged. Curiosity had an undeniable hold on her as she pondered who and where he would be spending his birthday.
“Nope. Why would you think we have plans?” Tegan looked as if she’d brought in a nasty smell with her.
“Well, he said he had plans tonight and it’s his birthday, so I just assumed it was with his friends.”
Tegan shook his glossy, black mane. “Nope. Jason always spends his birthday alone.”
“Really? Why?
“Couldn’t say. I’ve never asked him.”
Sadness constricted her airway. No one should spend their birthday alone. Jason was still her friend, and she could at least make sure he had his gift before he left.
Leaving Tegan with a goodnight, she double timed it down the hall and into the office.
No Jason.
Walking back to the breakroom, she opened the door to the courtyard to find it empty. The door to the storage room was propped open. Callie was the only person in there, pulling terry cloth towels out of the dryer.
“Hey, Callie. Did you see which way Jason went?”
“Yep. He left out the back.”
“Is he coming back?”
“I’m sure he’ll be back tomorrow.”
“Shit. He already left for the evening then?” A rhetorical question, she didn’t wait for Callie’s answer.
Her heart sank to her knees as she made her way back to the office, opening her desk drawer. He hadn’t even said goodbye before he left. Lifting the present from its hidi
ng place, she carried it over to the other desk in the room. Placing it the center, it looked so lonely sitting there in its cheery blue and silver wrapper.
Shutting down her computer for the evening she began to climb the spiral stairs to her apartment. Glancing back at the gift before she shut off the lights from the top step, she was struck with an idea that plastered a smile on her face. She would go to Vehn’s and give him his present.
Rushing into her apartment, she was on a mission, pulling off her clothes on the way to the closet. Why she felt the need to change her clothes before Jason saw her again was a mystery, but whatever. Getting to him and handing him his gift in person on his birthday was something she had to do.
Jeans and a sexy blouse, she was ready in record time.
Locking up and heading for the street to hopefully find a quick cab. She was in luck. Flagging down the taxi, the cleavage she was flashing had the driver screeching to a halt.
Giving the cabby Vehn’s Greenwich address, she sat forward on the seat as if it would get her there any faster.
Pulling up to the building, she rushed over and pushed the button next to Vehn’s condo number and waited.
“Yes.” Came Vehn’s disembodied voice.
“Hey, Vehn, it’s Evana. I was wanting to see Jason.”
“Hey pretty lady, he just left.”
Was he fucking kidding? She had just missed him twice in a row.
“Do you know where he went?” Desperation pitched high in her voice.
“He said something about that sports bar over on W 17th Street. Is everything alright?”
“Yeah. Everything’s fine. Thanks Vehn.”
Grabbing another cab over to the bar Vehn thought he might have gone, she was treading deep in stalker territory. She felt foolish chasing the guy around, but it felt imperative that she see him and wish him a happy birthday. Jason wasn’t the sort to wallow in self-pity, and she wondered why he chose to spend his birthday alone.
Walking into the bar, her senses went into overload as she tried to process all the televisions mounted together in clusters. It was like walking into an electronics store. Every set was playing a different sports show. Some of the screens clearer than others.
Scanning all the patrons, her eyes swung back to a familiar form. He was seated at the bar and he wasn’t alone.
Fuck.
She wasn’t going to be saving him from his loneliness, she was crashing his party.
Unexpectedly, the girl stood and walked away. Dare she entertain the notion that he had just turned the girl down?
Rethinking her decision to interrupt his solo birthday, she stood staring at him from the hostess stand. About to turn and leave, as if sensing her presence, he swiveled sideways on his stool and looked in her direction. Giving her a quizzical look, before pulling out the empty stool next to him and patting the seat.
She wasn’t prepared for the giddiness that spread through her at his offer. Not wasting a moment, she high tailed it over to him.
“I’m surprised to see you here,” Jason greeted her.
“I was in the neighborhood and decided to come in.” She cringed from the pitiful excuse.
“Is that so?” Jason said eyeing her as she sat down, hanging her purse on the hook under the bar. “Just happened to be out and about in this area wearing a low cut, sexy as hell top and skin-tight jeans, huh? Lucky for me, I happened to be here to see you sashay in.”
“Yes. Lucky for me.”
“You want a drink? Something to eat? They have decent bar food here.”
“Definitely one of those,” she pointed to his half-empty glass of Gaelic Ale. “Are you having anything to eat?”
“I was just about to order a plate of chicken wings. Are you interested?”
“That actually sounds really good.”
“How hot do you like your sauce?”
“The hotter the better.”
Jason’s smile widened. “You are just full of surprises. I would have pegged you for a mild sauce girl.”
“Well, that just goes to show how little you know about me, Jason Gales.”
“I’m finding that out.” He winked at her.
Her entire body flushed with heat.
Signaling the bartender, Jason placed their order.
Digging around in her purse, she pulled free the gift and placed it in front of him. “Happy birthday, Jason.”
Jason looked at the gift as if it were a coiled up snake ready to strike. She couldn’t imagine what his aversion was to his own birthday. Maybe because he was turning forty that he hadn’t wanted to celebrate.
“How did you know?”
“I’m your boss. It’s on your application, so I put the date on my Outlook calendar so I wouldn’t forget.”
Jason had been hoping for a completely different answer from her. Maybe something like, I remembered you telling me on our one and only date that you thought a date with me was the best birthday present you’d ever received.
Having him pop up on her calendar reminder seemed way too impersonal, something she would have done for any other employee. But, then again, that’s what he was. Her employee. She’d made that abundantly clear this morning.
“Thanks. You didn’t have to get me anything,” he said, fingering the wrapping paper, afraid of what was inside.
“Go ahead,” she encouraged him, “open it.”
Pulling the silver ribbon off the package before tearing open the dark blue paper, he was reminded again of his status. It was an impersonal gift, something that she would have chosen for any one of her other artists.
“Oh no. You don’t like it. I can return it and get you something else,” she frowned.
“No. I do like it. It’s a really nice tattoo gun. This is one of the best machines on the market.”
“I noticed you’d just rebuilt the one you favor, so I thought you’d like to have a new one.”
Placing his hand over hers. “I really do like it, Evana. You didn’t have to get me anything. I appreciate you thinking of me.”
Evana’s beer was set in front of her. He watched as she took a long pull off the rim of the frosty glass.
“Can I ask you a question?” she hedged.
“Sure. Go ahead.”
“Why do always spend your birthday alone?”
“How would know that?”
“Tegan told me.”
Now this was promising, he thought, grasping at straws. Why would she be asking Tegan about him if she wasn’t at least a little bit interested?
“You don’t remember, do you?”
Shaking her head, she eyed him suspiciously. “Remember what?”
“Our first date was twenty-two years ago today, that same night that your aunt took you away from me.”
He watched her face as the memory was resurrected in her mind. “Oh my god. I do now that you mentioned it. I had completely forgotten that you had said it was your birthday that night at the drive-in. I had felt so bad that I hadn’t brought you a gift.”
“You didn’t know until I told you. I was just happy to be in the same car as you.”
“So, what does any of that have to do with why you spend your birthdays alone?”
“Nothing left to celebrate,” he shrugged. “That was the most depressing night of my life. Watching you drive away. I chased the car until you disappeared.”
“I know, Jason. I saw you running after me. I begged my aunt to stop and let me talk to you, but she was terrified that the MC would come after me because of my mom. I’m so sorry I wasn’t allowed to call you. My aunt was so worried about us being found.”
“I know. I understand. I can’t imagine what it was like for you to be looking over your shoulder.”
“I still do. I think I always will.”
What could he say to that? That night had been a traumatic experience for her, from losing her virginity to a bumbling fool to being questioned by the police, and then having to leave the only place she had ever lived. No wonder she h
adn’t remembered it’d been his birthday.
“I wanted to tell you that night, that it was ok. You know, what we did. My mom wasn’t one of those people that I could ask intimate questions. I knew it was going to hurt, but I wasn’t prepared for how much. I wasn’t crying because of you. It was all me. I was so embarrassed that I was so inexperienced.”
“I’m glad you told me that. I’ve wondered about that for years. That I’d hurt you or maybe read you wrong, and you hadn’t really wanted to.” He looked at her sheepishly. “I thought when the police came to my door that they were there to arrest me for rape or something. You were technically jail bait.”
“I’m so sorry, Jason. I had no idea you thought I didn’t want you.”
It was on the tip of his tongue to ask why she didn’t want him now, but he tossed back the rest of his beer and ordered another round.
Thankfully, the uncomfortable conversation ended as soon as the steaming plate of wings arrived. Evana had asked for additional hot sauce on the side, and he was curious to see if she would be able to handle the heat. He’d learned the hard way not to inhale while taking a bite or you’d find yourself coughing on the fumes rolling off the bright red liquid.
“I’m sorry I ruined your birthday for all these years,” Evana said, wiping her lips free of the fiery sauce.
“You didn’t ruin my birthday, and you have nothing to be sorry about.” To his amazement, she wasn’t even tearing up over the stuff. “How can you eat that and not even break a sweat? That shit lit me up before it even touched my lips.”
Giggling, she reached for another wing bathing it in the sauce. “Because, I like hot meat.”
“You’ll get no comment from me. I’m going to leave that one alone,” he laughed. “Speaking of jail bait, you have a birthday that’s fast approaching. Any plans to celebrate your fortieth?”
“I plan to wallow in self-pity as I cry into a huge glass of wine while bidding my thirties farewell.”
“That doesn’t sound like much fun.”
“Want to wallow with me?” Evana asked, gifting him with an enormous smile.
“Absolutely.”
