by LS Anders
Spotting the three that were eyeing him from the sofa, Gabriel lifted a hand and meandered over.
“How you guys doing tonight.” The steel ring in Gabriel’s lip flashed in the club’s multicolored lights as he spoke.
“Not as good as you.” Jason bitched. Envious of the guy that he could perform.
“Whatever Jason. I saw your ass with that one chick. Looked to me like you were having fun,” Gabriel snickered.
“You were a little busy when I turned her down,” he countered.
“Why would you do something that stupid?” Gabriel wrinkled his nose.
“Pfft. It’s called being in love, Gabriel,” Tegan ribbed.
“Oh yeah. I forgot Evana has your dick on lockdown.” Gabriel knowingly nodded his head.
Shooting Gabriel down with a glare, he tossed back his drink in one quick swallow.
It was going to be a long fucking night.
“I’ll bet you would look gorgeous in one of those,” Jason commented on Rayna’s wedding dress as they watched Tegan feed her a piece of cake.
Evana knew he hadn’t meant to, but his comment had flushed every single bit of enjoyment out of her evening. Kyle had told her that on their wedding day. His ghost seemed to be everywhere. All the time. Her guilty conscience over having sex with Jason was driving her nuts.
What the hell was wrong with her that she couldn’t let her past go? And, that dream with Avie had been gnawing at her. She had figured out two of the words the girl was trying to tell her. “Move on.” Had she meant move on with her life? With Jason?
She had half a mind to ask Avie about it, but she didn’t need to appear anymore crazy than she felt she was becoming. Avie wouldn’t know about the dream. That was stupid to even consider she’d be aware of it. But, Avie’s hair had been the same color in her dream as it was that evening of Ryder’s attempted break-in.
Was she developing her own brand of clairvoyance? She should go buy a lottery ticket. Try her hand at guessing the next winning lottery numbers instead of guessing Avie’s ever changing hair color.
Shaking her head to clear out her own insolent thoughts, Jason mistook it as her answer to his compliment.
“Sure you would. Stop being modest.” His smile broke her heart.
She returned it, but there was nothing behind the teeth and curved up lips. It was just a façade to cover up the turmoil of feelings she couldn’t figure out what to do with.
Every day that passed, she was growing more and more attached to him. Her heart empty until she saw him again. Where did that leave her memories of Kyle? She couldn’t kick him out of the way to fill that void with Jason.
“Hey. Are you alright?” Jason gained her attention by stepping into her field of vision.
“Yeah. Why?”
“You seemed to have gone off in a world of your own. Is everything ok?”
After all this time, she could no longer use the, “I’m still freaked out over the Ryder incident,” excuse. Nodding she tried for a smile and decided it looked as fake as it felt on her face. Tossing back the half a glass of wine she was nursing, she handed it over to Jason.
“Would you mind getting me a refill?” She needed a breather and he was so close, she couldn’t hardly think straight.
What was she going to do about Jason? Her attachment to him was becoming a tangible thing. But she just didn’t feel ready to embark on a new relationship with anyone right now.
Avie was right. She needed to move on, if not with Jason then with someone. Where did she start?
Maybe she could start be canceling Kyle’s subscription to Men’s Health. There was a mountain of them in a corner of her apartment.
She hadn’t had the heart to cancel the monthly periodical. It was her last tie to Kyle. A thread so thin, she was barely clinging to the tether. Who was she kidding? Receiving mail with his name on it wasn’t going to somehow resurrect him.
To her credit, she had managed to let go of a few of the magazines the night of the sleepover after Rayna’s husbands’ funeral. The quantity of margaritas she’d drank had given her the courage to part with them after Callie had found the stack and had concocted a silly game out of trading each other for their favorite cover models. She smiled at the memory. Callie and her antics, always making everyone laugh no matter the circumstances.
Jason handed her a fresh glass of wine. Thanking him, she couldn’t pull her eyes away. He was like Callie in that regard. Always quick with a joke, able to bring light to everyone’s day.
“What?” Jason gave her a crooked grin. “You’re looking at me as if you haven’t seen me in forever.”
“It feels like I haven’t.”
Tilting his head, he smiled that sexy grin that made her knees all rubbery.
Tegan and Rayna had just finished the traditional first dance and another slow song began to play.
“Dance with me?”
Taking a fortifying gulp of her wine, she set the glass on a nearby table and joined him on the dance floor.
He was smooth on his feet as he held her to him. His hard thighs brushing hers as they swayed together. Gripping his shoulders, all she could do was hang on. Her head was light from the wine or the man, she didn’t know. All she knew was she didn’t want to let him go and that sent a shiver of all-encompassing fear throughout her entire being.
Jason knew Tegan was going to kick his ass later, but that story was a classic and needed to be shared. Using that as part of his toast on his friend’s wedding day probably wasn’t the best time, but Rayna was still holding onto her pregnant belly with both hands while she laughed, so it was worth any beat down he had coming.
Tegan had been a kid when he’d first walked into Gales, and he would never forget the red-hot expression on his face when the woman had dropped her shorts, panties and all, so Jason could tattoo her.
Tegan was newly married to Tracy at the time and obviously wasn’t used to random women dropping their clothes in front of him. Jason was already familiar with the practice. He had never lacked for female companionship. One-night stands were his specialty.
Looking at the newlyweds made him burn for companionship beyond a one-nighter. He wanted what Tegan had. The doting wife, maybe even a baby. He wasn’t getting any younger, and Evana burned hot and then cold, keeping him in a state of constant uncertainty. His best efforts to dampen his feelings for her had been a waste of time.
The way she’d been looking at him earlier had sprung hope anew. That dance had turned his insides into a quivering mass of mush. Then she’d pulled away from him once the song ended, detaching herself until it had become a physical barrier he could see.
She was hanging onto her past, not willing to let go and move forward. He couldn’t live in the shadow of her dead husband for the rest of his life. He deserved to be first.
Even after all this time of waiting for her, he never wanted to admit to himself that she didn’t want him in return, but a piece of his soul died as he realized it would always be like this with her. If he didn’t cut his own heartstrings now, he was setting himself up for a lifetime of hurt.
There were tons of other women out there. He just needed to find the one that was meant to be his. Maybe closure on his first love was what he’d needed. He'd been obsessed with finding her and then obsessed with losing her to another man that he hadn't given himself a chance to live.
The really fucked up thing was, he could completely understand where she was coming from. You either loved someone or you didn’t. It was as simple as that. It didn’t make him feel any less sad, but he understood it. Lust was lust, and love was love, and mistaking one for the other never ended well.
Clicking shut his laptop, he already had a destination in mind. He’d waltz through Maine during one of his many searches for Evana and had worked in a tattoo shop near Lewiston. The owner had taken a liking to him and said he could come back anytime he wanted. He’d kept in touch over the years, and knew he was good for a job until he could open his own sh
op again.
Maybe he’d take a little vacation before he started at a new place. Take some time to go back to Scottsdale and visit his dad.
Even though owning his own shop had been the best part of his career, working for Evana hadn’t been that bad, but he doubted he’d be able to find a boss like her anyplace else. Besides he was in love with her, so he’d been able to keep his alpha instincts on a leash, but their relationship was going nowhere fast, and the time to take his life back was now.
His cell chimed. The illumination from the tiny screen filled the room with a soft light.
A bootie call from his lady love? He sure fucking hoped not. Turning her down was going to hurt like hell.
Relieved that it wasn’t her, a ripple of fear coursed through him when he saw that it was Tegan calling him on his wedding night.
This can’t be good news!
“Hey, everything alright?”
“She’s in labor. We’re on our way to Lennox Hill Hospital right now.” Tegan hung up before he could respond.
A cold chill gripped him as he thought Rayna was too early to be having the baby.
Hopping out of bed, he could hear activity out in the hall. Vehn must have just gotten the same call. He wasn’t surprised when knocking sounded on his door.
“Come on in,” he said as he slung on a pair of jeans.
“Tegan and Rayna—” Vehn began.
“Yep. Got the same call.”
“You want to ride with us to the hospital?”
“Yep,” he said pulling a shirt on over his head. “I’m right behind you.”
He followed Callie and Vehn out of the penthouse, pushing his feet into sneakers as they rode down in the elevator.
“She’ll be alright. Her and the baby.” It was a statement he said out loud to no one in particular.
Unshed tears glistened in her hazel eyes as Callie smiled at him and nodded.
By voicing what he wanted to happen, maybe the universe would grant it. Tegan had already been through enough, and his family needed to be alright. He needed that little girl to be born.
The taxi was deathly quiet the entire trip to the hospital, everybody lost in their own heads. He was glad for the comfort Callie extended to him as she clasped his hand, holding onto both men. He was so keyed up, he would have levitated off the damn seat if she hadn’t offered him a tether.
They’d procured a private waiting room as they waited for the latest news on Rayna and the baby. There was no sign of Tegan, so he had to be in the birthing room with his wife.
Wondering how well the guy was holding up, Tegan was a protective force around that girl. He hoped everything went well or that doctor might be leaving the room in a body bag.
Evana was chatting with Avie and Callie, but he didn’t dare look in her direction. He’d made his final decision tonight, wondering if she would even care when he turned in his resignation.
He had decided to pack up and take off in the next few days, but the baby had halted his plans. Now he would stay longer and make sure Tegan and his new family were going to be alright before he left.
“Hey, everybody.” Lexi rushed in wearing a paper dress over her clothes with a hat to match. Her presence held the undivided attention of every soul in the room. “Rayna’s fine and the baby is fine. The nurse said she could be in labor for a while, so if you don’t want to stay, I can mass text everybody when the baby is born.”
“No way,” Cale said.
“We’ll stay,” Gabriel added.
“Tell Rayna we love her and give her a hug from all of us,” Callie sniffled.
“I will. I’ll update you as soon as something else happens,” Lexi said turning to leave.
“How’s T holding up?” Jason caught her as she stepped out into the hall.
“White as a ghost, but I think he’ll make it,” Lexi joked. “I better get back in there.”
Nodding, he pulled her in for a hug. Hugging him back, she turned her head and laid it on his shoulder.
Pulling away she looked up at him, her dove gray eyes so much like her sisters. “What was that for?”
“You looked like you could use one.” He returned her smile.
“Thanks, Jason. You’re such a sweetheart,” she said, laying her hand on his cheek before turning to leave.
Wandering back into the room, he found an empty seat and put it to good use. This was going to be a long night for all of them.
His cell buzzed him awake announcing the latest arrival to the Steele family tree. Rubbing his face, he looked around at the mass of sleepy people, swinging his eyes quickly past Evana.
Rolling his head on his stiff neck, he couldn’t believe he’d actually fallen asleep. Uncoiling his stiff joints from the cramped seat, he stretched and waited for someone to come get them so they might get a glimpse at the new arrival.
“You look beat,” Evana said, approaching him.
She hadn’t spoken to him since they’d all arrived at the hospital last night, but he hadn’t offered up any conversation her way either. Leaving her and moving on was going to be hard. He needed to go numb. It was the only way to handle the feeling of his heart being ripped from his chest.
“Yeah, I feel like I have been.” Searching for a way to distance himself, barely sparing her a glance as he answered, but couldn’t help but notice how she always looked beautiful no matter what the circumstances.
Their group began to spill out into the hall anxious to hear any news. Lexi came through the automatic doors at the end of hall looking wiped out, but glowed.
“I’m officially an aunt,” she squealed.
Immediately surrounded by people taking their turn for a hug, she was bombarded with questions. Answering as fast as she could to reassure everyone the Steele family was doing well.
“Everybody’s fine and the baby is so cute, you just can’t believe it. She’s a living doll,” Lexi began. “Give the nurses a little time to get everyone situated, and you all can come in two at a time and see them.”
It wasn’t long before a nurse allowed them back to wait outside in the hall by Rayna’s room. Tegan opened the door, and Evana and Callie went in together. Whispered praises and cooing filtered out through the door.
Tegan stayed in the hall, using the wall at his back to hold himself up. The man looked like he’d been in a war.
“So, everything’s good with your girls?” he inquired, joining his friend.
“Yeah, they’re both doing fine. I was worried about Rayna refusing the epidural, but she’s a bad-ass. I can’t imagine the pain she was in.”
“Why did she refuse?” Vehn questioned.
“She started thinking about all the things that could go wrong with it and changed her mind. She ended up having the baby natural.” Tegan scrubbed a hand over his goatee.
“Damn,” Vehn said. “Please tell me they gave her something for pain afterwards.”
“She took some Motrin,” Tegan smirked. “For somebody so sweet, she’s a tough cookie.”
Clearing his throat, Jason glanced quickly away from the glossy sheen falling over Tegan’s eyes. Blinking hard, he barely managed to keep his own tears at bay.
Giving into the urge. “Will you kick my ass if I hug you?”
“Pfft, not this time, but make it quick.” Tegan pushed off the wall wrapping his arms tightly around him.
Just before he turned loose, Vehn threw himself in the mix, and Jason found himself sandwiched between his two friends. Cale and Gabriel added themselves to the group hug before Tegan begged to be turned loose.
Pulling away, he had to pause and stare at the most brilliant smile he’d never seen Tegan wear. The expression transforming the guy’s face.
Life goals, he thought to himself. I want to smile like Tegan.
“That’s some serious cuteness, T.” Jason grinned as Caroline’s tiny hand gripped his finger.
Named after Vehn’s mother, Caroline aka Mama C, the tiny girl already had everyone wrapped around her little f
inger, especially her bad-ass father. Tegan was the worst of them all, constantly doting on her. Always the first to respond when she made any tiny sound. The infant was destined to be a daddy’s girl.
“You can hold her,” Tegan offered.
“Nope. I’m good. Maybe when she gets a little bit bigger. Right now, she terrifies me.” Jason wiggled the finger Caroline was squeezing.
Caroline had been home all of two days, and the Steele’s home had turned into a revolving door. The flurry of activity was incredible with people coming and going bringing food and gifts.
Mama C and Lee Mathieu were due to arrive from Colorado at any moment. That didn’t give him much time to confide in his friend.
He kept glancing around at all the familiar faces milling around and wondered how he could get Tegan alone long enough to break the news of his leaving. Even Tegan’s self-proclaimed grandmother, Mrs. Reimer was in the house today. Tegan had met the older lady from Rayna’s old apartment building and had taken a liking to her, essentially adopting her as part of his family.
It was amazing how the guy had collected people over the years and had invented a family for himself. He admired Tegan for it. Tegan had been fortunate enough to be taken in and raised by Vehn’s parents, then had reached out into the world and taken the rest of what he’d been denied.
Every time he made eye contact with one of his new friends from Exotic Ink, his heart would twist into a knot and seize up tight. How had these people gotten under his skin so fast? It hadn’t been this hard when he’d sold his damn shop and moved away from everything he’d known for the last thirteen years.
Baby Caroline adjusted her tiny grasp breaking his heart in two. How could he leave now? He’d miss her growing up, and he was so looking forward to being an uncle to Tegan’s tiny princess. Smiling at his gruff friend, he couldn’t help but shake his head recalling the first time he’d heard Tegan call his daughter the sweet pet name.
“Pfft, what the f—" Tegan stopped himself just in time before the f-bomb dropped around his baby girl, “are you smiling at?”
