by Selina Rosen
Hammer sighed. Everything she said seemed to make things worse, so she fell silent.
The drive was longer even than Elantra remembered. At one point Conner pulled off the road. “Why are we stopping?” Elantra demanded.
“Elantra, I know you no longer remember a few hours ago when you used to care for me, so I’ll refresh your memory. I just had surgery, then I had to save us from Mishy and Tarent’s hired thugs. You no longer want anything to do with me, and now I’ve been driving for hours. I’m emotionally and physically spent. Since you apparently don’t love me anymore anyway, and I’m expected to continue my life without you, I have to take care of myself. I need some sleep, I need to dress my wounds, and I need a shirt. I have a first aid kit and a change of clothes in the trunk.”
“Are you hurt then?” Elantra asked, concern suddenly entering her voice.
“Don’t pretend to care. I’ll slap a couple of bandages on, put on a shirt, catch a couple of hours sleep, and then I’ll take you straight home as promised.”
Elantra nodded silently.
Conner drove up the dirt road till she was out of sight of the main highway and killed the engine. She stepped out of the car right into a mud puddle, looked down at her wet stockinged foot and said through gritted teeth, “Oh, this night just keeps getting better and better.”
She walked around to the trunk and opened it, pulling out the first aid kit. Elantra walked over to her.
“Let me help,” Elantra said quietly, and Conner nodded. It was a dark night, and the only light she had was the trunk light. She did the best she could. Elantra found some hydrogen peroxide and boiled out both the cut on Conner’s shoulder and her wrist. Upon removing the dressing on Conner’s wrist she found that the wound had opened slightly, so after having cleaned it she found a butterfly bandage and pulled the wound closed again. “You’d better watch that.”
“Uh-huh,” Conner said woodenly. Elantra dressed both wounds and then Conner pulled her shirt on and buttoned it up. She noticed that Elantra was watching, and a little glimmer of hope flickered inside of her. “It’s not too late to go back, Elantra,” she said quietly.
“I can’t be with you right now, Conner.” Elantra started to cry again. “I just can’t. There is so much confusion in my head. Please, don’t try to make this harder than it is. I need to think, and I can’t do that around you.”
Conner nodded silently. She grabbed a flashlight, a pair of boots, and a dry pair of socks, then she closed the trunk. She sat down in the driver’s seat, pulled her wet socks off and then put the dry ones on. She pushed Elantra’s seat back and then her own and lay down. Elantra got in the car and lay down on her seat.
It was so dark that Elantra literaly couldn’t see Conner. She closed her eyes to try and get some sleep. She lay there sleeplessly for several minutes, tossing and turning trying to get comfortable. Her socks were wet, and she was way too cold. She wondered how someone could be prepared enough to have a change of clothes and a first aid kit in the trunk, but not a blanket.
She had grown accustomed to sleeping in Conner’s arms, feeling her body pressed against hers. Conner was not a cold-blooded killer; she knew that. Conner could never have killed her, even to avenge Peggy’s death, but Conner was more than capable of using her to get back at her father if it didn’t include doing Elantra physical harm.
She wanted to believe that Conner McVee loved her, that it hadn’t all been just an elaborate lie. But how could she ever be sure? Conner had told her one lie after another. Maybe she was proving how she felt by taking Elantra back to Tarent, or maybe this was how she was exacting her ultimate punishment on him, by returning a daughter who could no longer be happy to live in polite building society.
Confusion was eating away at the corners of her brain, and all she really wanted to do was find some soft spot on Conner’s chest and lay her head down. Feel her warmth and listen to her heart and believe as she had just a few hours earlier that it was beating only for her.
All she really knew for sure was that the world had just opened up to her, and if she went back to her father the world would be locked outside the building again. It was also true that while she had never known such pleasure in building life, she had also never known such pain.
“Conner McVee?”
“Yeah,” Conner said in that voice that said she had been almost asleep.
“Are you cold?” Elantra asked.
“Yeah,” Conner said. She sat up then and turned on the flashlight. “I just remembered.” She got in the glove box and pulled out a small packet. “Solar blanket.” She held the flashlight in her mouth, opened the package and opened the blanket out. She made a face. “It isn’t very big, it looked bigger on the display. You can use it.”
“If we moved to the back seat, we could both use it, and we could keep each other warm.” Elantra said.
Neither wanted to risk getting her feet wet – or wetter as in Elantra’s case – by getting out of the car again, so they shifted and scooched until they were in the back seat. Conner lay with her back to the seat, and Elantra curled into the space in front of her, and when she touched Conner she sighed. Conner covered them both with the blanket as best she could and then turned the flashlight off. She put her arm around Elantra and drew her closer, and Elantra didn’t fight her. In fact, she moved to lace her fingers with Conner’s.
“I will miss you,” Elantra said.
“Then don’t leave me,” Conner begged in a whisper. “I know what I did was wrong, but if I hadn’t done it I never would have met you, and we never would have had this, so I can’t say I’m sorry I did it. I’m only sorry that I hurt you.”
“I have to go back, Conner. I have to see my father and ease his mind. I have to get away from you and see if my feelings for you are real, or if it’s just a case of me buying into your lie. I trusted you, and now I can’t, and if I can’t trust you, how can I ever trust me?”
Conner pulled up in front of PowersTower and stopped the car. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
Elantra nodded silently and reached for the handle.
“Please, Lanny...” Conner grabbed her shoulder. Elantra glared at her and she removed her hand. “I do love you. When you’re tired of punishing me, call me. I’ll leave my computer on. I’ll get you out, or die trying.”
“I don’t know if I can ever trust you again.” Elantra dried a tear from her eye. “I have to think, Conner McVee, and you... when I’m around you I don’t want to think. I just want to believe you. I know you think, no believe, that my father is evil incarnate, but you’re wrong. If I want to leave he won’t like it, but he’ll let me go.” She turned and kissed Conner gently. Conner grabbed her and they exchanged a passionate kiss. Elantra pushed away, and she smiled sadly. “That’s what I mean.” She got out of the car at the same time Conner did. She realized Conner was checking to make sure things were safe. Then she noticed Conner’s bandage was bloody. “Conner your hand...” She started to come around the car, and Conner held up her hand.
“I’m not your problem anymore. I’ll take care of it myself. Hurry and get in the building. You’re a sitting duck out here. I’ll cover you.”
Elantra nodded and made a dash for the building. At the door she turned to look one last time at Conner McVee. Conner wouldn’t meet her gaze, and as the door opened for her and she walked through, Conner drove away. Her entire body seemed to suddenly be hollow, and she immediately regretted her decision. She started to cry.
Chapter 11
Conner drove to her home in HammerTown to find it in ruins. They had turned everything upside down, and what they hadn’t poured out or ripped apart they had purposely broken. They had taken all the pictures, every one of them. Conner immediately knew why, and exactly how Mishy had found her. Tarent’s boys had no doubt had a bug on Mishy’s car and followed him at a distance. All the worrying she had done over the transmitter, and Conner only now realized that wasn’t how they found her.
It was a
good thing she had brought Elantra back to her father. She had been stupid to think she could hide from Tarent and Mishy. At least for the time being Elantra was safer with Tarent.
She sat down at what was left of her kitchen table and put her computer back together. It took awhile because even though she was really good with computers, she had really done a thorough job taking it apart.
When she was finally done, she called up the Brakston Agency. James Rank glared back at her; obviously he still had his panties in a knot.
“Tarent Powers jus’ called me, Hammer.” Rank said hotly. “He told me ya killed two of his men fore he got his daughter back. He’s talkin’ about bringin’ kidnappin’ charges against ya. He’s threatenin’ to sue the agency less we fire ya...”
“He isn’t going to do shit, Rank. He’s just blowing smoke out his ass. He can’t prove anything. I’ll just say he’s pissed because I slept with his daughter.”
“Ya did what!” Rank screamed angrily.
“I’ve been screwing his daughter. It’s no big deal. We’re in love. As soon as she gets over being pissed at me because I kidnapped her we’ll be together again,” Conner said confidently.
“Do ya have any idea how stupid ya sound?” Rank screamed.
“This from a man who took speech lessons so that he could learn to talk like an Okie.” Conner smiled at the brand new look of rage on Rank’s face. “Since when does Tarent Powers call the shots at Brakston Agency?”
“Since one of our agents stupidly kidnapped and apparently molested his daughter. Ya had ta run this game all the way out, didn’ ya, Hammer? I’m sorry, but ya’ve become a liability to the agency. I’m terminatin’ yer employment with us effective immediately. I’ve petitioned to have your permit revoked and your security clearance knocked down...”
“You can’t do that!” Hammer said hotly. “You want to fire my ass, that’s great, but you’ve got a hell of a nerve trying to revoke my permit. As for knocking down my clearance... I got bigger and better connections in this town than you have ever even thought about having, and I can guarantee you that’s not gonna happen.”
“Watch me,” Rank hissed. “Yer a loose cannon, Hammer. Ya don’ give a loose cannon with the kind ah hardware yer’ carryin’ an open license to kill. Ya made me the laughing stock of the agencies. It will take a long time to build up the reputation of Brakston again. It will never happen as long as yer on the payroll...”
“Oh bull shit! Bull shit!” Hammer screamed. “I haven’t hurt the agency’s reputation with this whole thing. I’ve improved it. I got to Tarent Powers. I got to him in a way that no one else ever has, and I did it leaving no evidence that I have broken one single solitary law.”
“I’ve been livin’ in the tidal wave of shit you left in yer wake, Hammer!” Rank screamed back, “Don’ tell me what’s been happenin’ here. You don’ have ah clue.”
“You owe me...”
“I could ah denied yer whole little workin’ fer Tarent story. I didn’, way I see it the debt has been paid.”
“You pompous, impotent little fuck! You have no idea who you are screwing with.”
“A has-been. Ya ruined yourself in this town, Hammer. Terminate transmission.”
The screen went dead. Hammer almost picked up her computer and tossed it into the wall, but reminded herself how hard she’d just worked to put it back together. She went to the bathroom, cleaned up her hand and redressed it. The butterfly Elantra had put on had come loose, and the wound was gaping, by now it was no doubt too late to close it up again, and she really didn’t give a shit, that was basically the worst thing that could happen to it. She slapped some salve and a clean dressing on it and hoped for the best. Then she sat and looked at her hand for a minute. It wasn’t really hers, and at times like this she was all too aware of the fact. That wasn’t bone in there, it was metal. The doctor had to go through her flesh to get to the pin, but it wasn’t like it had to heal. Take the old pin out, put a new one in. The flesh could pull apart at the incision area, but it wasn’t like her hand was going to fall off. Right now, only hours after the surgery, even with a weaker pin, she could put on a bullet shielded glove and punch a hole in a brick wall with no problem.
It would have been real easy to fall into a pool of self-pity and just wallow there, but she couldn’t afford the luxury, not if she was going to get Elantra back, and not if she was going to stay alive. And getting Elantra back was the only reason to stay alive.
Tarent Powers had his daughter back safely, so now he’d want to regain face. The only way for him to do that would be to take Hammer out. Then there was Mishy. It was only a matter of time till he realized she was back in town, and when he learned that she had returned Tarent’s daughter to him – if not completely unmolested, still very much alive – he was going to want her dead even more than he already did.
She gathered up some clothes, tools, and her computer, and drove over to the local Contractor’s house. He let her stay without asking why. He showed her to a spare room. She showered, brushed her teeth, and went to bed. She was beat, physically, emotionally and spiritually spent. She lay there for thirty minutes, missing the feel of Elantra beside her before she finally went to sleep.
Elantra had stepped on the moving sidewalk, and with a simple voice command she was in her father’s office without lifting her foot. Oddly enough the feeling of homecoming she had expected felt more like dread.
Her father was busy at the computer console. “Tell me what you want and get out. I’m busy.”
When she heard his voice, her dread went away. He was not the monster Conner McVee said he was, he was her father, and hearing his voice she just knew he couldn’t have done any of the horrible things Conner said that he had.
“Daddy.” She ran up to him and threw her arms around him, without really thinking about it. It had seemed like the most natural thing in the world, and it wasn’t until he quickly pushed her to arm’s length that she remembered that hugging was something “normal,” people didn’t do. She fell to her knees at his feet and buried her face in her hands.
“Elantra... Thank God you’re safe.” He patted at her back, without ever actually making contact.
“Daddy, oh Daddy.” She couldn’t say anything else, she just cried.
“Are you all right? I mean physically.” Elantra nodded her head yes. “She didn’t hurt you?”
She shook her head no.
Tarent didn’t ask any more questions. Elantra was home, and given time she would revert to her old ways.
Doors opened for her. A drone came bearing her food on a little tray and announced that her supper was ready. When she finished eating the drone came and retrieved the little tray and it was disposed of, to be recycled into something else. From the taste, or lack thereof, probably more food.
Chairs anticipated that she wanted to sit down and rose to meet her. Her clothes were picked out by computer and she was washed, dried and shampooed without ever feeling wet. That night she lay down in her bed, and when it moved around her to make her comfortable, it all just became too much. She realized only now that what it was imitating was the comfort and security you got from being held in someone’s arms. It was a substitute for warmth, and like the food it just didn’t stack up to the real thing.
She tried to ignore it and go to sleep, but she couldn’t. It gave her the creeps. She finally got out of bed and lay on the floor. She longed for a pillow and a cover, but made do with the sweat suit she had worn that day, the suit she had been wearing when she had arrived that her father had wanted thrown out and which she had saved just short of the recycling machine without anyone noticing. The suit was soft and reminded her of the first time she had worn cotton clothes. There was the faint smell of Conner’s perfume on one of the cuffs, probably left over from Conner holding her last night. She held it up to her nose and smelled it. She wiped the tear from her eye.
It was hard to believe that Conner McVee had never loved her. That’s what her father
had told her over and over again when she had tried to explain to him how she felt about Conner. He said Conner had only used her and it was time to get on with her life. That Elantra wasn’t really gay, that it was just some brainwashing technique Conner had used.
Elantra might be confused, but if she knew one thing, she knew she hadn’t been brainwashed. For one thing she had fantasized about having sex with a women long before Conner McVee had stepped into the picture. Hell, if he had bothered to check he would have found dozens of lesbian virtual sex programs in her terminal.
Her father had started talking about Buddy. Saying how if he, Tarent, had insisted they marry sooner this wouldn’t have happened. Apparently being married to Buddy would have stopped her being kidnapped by Mishy. Somehow Elantra was sure that wasn’t what he’d meant, but it had put a smile on her face at least momentarily.
He had looked at her, frowned, and then completely lost his cool. “What’s so damn funny? This isn’t some joke, Elantra. If you were going to screw this automated, fanatic, dyke you might have at least protected yourself with a screen.”
Elantra had almost laughed then. “But Dad... Remember, I was brainwashed. I had no idea what I was doing.”
“Don’t mock me.” For a moment the look on his face had been so dark and so angry that she almost begun to believe that maybe what Conner and the others had said about him had been true. Then he had taken a deep breath and let it out and his features softened. “I’m sorry, you’ve been through quite an ordeal, you can’t be held responsible for what you did.”
What a horrible ordeal. To be held by a human instead of a bed. To eat food that you could actually taste. To smell air that actually had scent. And orgasm, how awful was that?
There was this horrible empty feeling in her chest. A longing in her body and her soul which taunted her saying, This was your choice.
Maybe it didn’t really matter how Conner felt, or what her motives were. Maybe the only thing that was important was that she couldn’t stand to be away from her. That she needed to be with Conner McVee. Problem was that she doubted seriously that she was going to convince her father that it was in her best interest to go live with a person who was the epitome of all that he hated.
