by Suzy Shearer
He grinned at me. “So you intend to see me on Monday.”
I giggled. “Yes.”
He kissed me. “Come on, my little bunny rabbit. Let’s get dressed.”
He helped me to my feet and then helped me dress. Even that was sensuous. I tried to keep my mind on looking around rather than his hands on me.
We walked out to the foyer. He waited while I got my keys, wallet and phone, then walked me to my car.
He touched my lips with his fingers, and I wanted to melt into them. He bent his head and captured my lips. I clung to him. I didn’t want to go. Reluctantly I pulled away. He opened my door for me and I got in the car. He shut my door, and I unwound the window. He leaned in and kissed me.
“I will miss you tomorrow, little rabbit. Think of me sometimes.”
“I will. I’ll see you on Monday night.”
“Yes.”
He kissed me again and then stepped back. I started the car and drove out the car park. I could see him standing there in my rear view mirror.
What was going to happen to us?
Could we really stay together when we both needed something that the other could not give?
* * * *
I stood in that damn car park and watched her drive away, and it felt like she was driving out of my life. I couldn’t believe it! I honestly thought she would realise what this all meant, that submitting wasn’t horrible like she thought.
It was obvious she liked me, liked me a lot. I guess I am lucky that she still wanted to see me. Somehow I had to get through to her, wear her down.
Hell, it wasn’t as if I wanted a 24-7 Dom/sub relationship. That side of our relationship was reserved for the bedroom. I wanted someone who was an equal. She was a clever woman, so successful, so confident. I thought she would ask for my opinion on things. I knew I would ask her. I had to make her understand being a submissive in the bedroom didn’t take away any control out of it.
I just knew we would make a great team and somehow I needed to get that through to her. I honestly thought I already had, but it looked like I was very wrong.
I didn’t bother going back inside, and instead I got into my car and drove home.
I was worried. What if we couldn’t come to a compromise? What if she forced me to honour my promise to leave her alone?
Just thinking about that made me feel sick in the stomach.
Oh, Georgy, what have you done to me?
Chapter Thirteen
Sunday and Monday were a blur. I felt like I was on autopilot.
I picked up Isamu Keniyoko and got him settled in, arranged transport for him and gave him all the information for Monday night.
Janice finalised all the last-minute things on Monday, fielded any inquiries and saved me from any major panics. Whenever I had a moment to myself, all I could think of was Jackson. I missed him.
In the afternoon, a florist delivery girl turned up with an amazing Ikebana arrangement of three peonies and driftwood. There was one word on the card—“Submit.”
I smiled to myself. Just to read that word had me visualising. I saw myself on my knees, naked before him. I felt myself get wet and it surprised me that one word had the ability to make me aroused.
Especially a word that I did not want.
By eight, things were in full swing. The gallery was packed. I found myself looking each time I heard the door open but Jackson had not arrived. I introduced Isamu Keniyoko to the audience and gave a brief history of his work before handing the floor over to him. He was short and sweet in his speech and was soon surrounded by interested people.
My head was pounding. The stress of the exhibition opening, my first night at The Club, and then Jackson’s arrival on Saturday had finally caught up to me. I smiled, spoke and acted the perfect hostess but my head was killing me.
I felt an arm around my waist and had a frisson of excitement until I realised it was Dennis, my ex-husband. He kissed me and congratulated me. We spoke for a moment or two, his arm still around my waist when he said he was going.
I felt him before I saw him.
Funny how I knew when he was near me.
He reached my side and kissed me purposefully. He held out his hand to Dennis and said, “I’m Jackson Rowley, owner.”
I choked back a laugh as Jackson possessively pulled me toward him and kept his arm around me.
Dennis looked at Jackson, wondering what on earth he was owner of. “Er…Dennis, Dennis News, Georgia’s ex-husband.”
Dennis looked at me strangely, said good-bye, and went to kiss me then thought better of it when he saw Jackson’s scowl. I said good-night and turned to Jackson.
“You have a headache. You should go home,” he announced.
“How did you know?”
“It’s obvious. Can’t you leave?”
“No. It closes at ten so I only have another hour to smile and pretend.”
He kissed my neck.
“I missed you, little rabbit.”
I grinned at him, “Thank you for the flowers, they are beautiful.”
“You are welcome.” The Dom spoke. “Have you had anything for your headache?”
“No. I will later.”
“Do you have anything in your desk?”
“Heavens, Jackson.”
“I don’t like you feeling this way. Let me get you something.”
I rolled my eyes. He leant forward and whispered in my ear. “That would get you five lashes at least if you were my sub.”
I gasped and felt a tingle all the way down to my pussy.
“Now, is there anything for your head in your desk?”
“Yes, top right-hand drawer.”
Wow, if this was what he was like when we were just going out I couldn’t imagine how he would be if we were a couple. Still, I was surprised that he could tell I had a headache. Dennis certainly couldn’t, never had.
He returned with two paracetamol and a glass of water, standing over me until I took it. For the next hour, he fielded most guests so all I had to do was smile and nod my head at times.
At last, it was ten and Janice started herding the guests out. Isamu came over and thanked me, telling me he had a lot of interest in his works. I introduced him to Jackson and left them talking while I helped Janice shepherd out the stragglers. By ten fifteen we were the only ones left.
We had hired caterers and waiters and they had managed to keep up with the cleaning so they were ready to leave also. I thanked them and Janice, and saw all of them out the door and locked it. I was so tired. Jackson followed me to my office. I went to pick up my bag but he pushed me into my chair.
Standing behind me, he massaged my neck and shoulders, then my temples. It felt so good.
“Don’t tell me you do this for all your submissives.”
“Of course.” He grinned. “I keep telling you, Georgy, my happiness is dependent on yours. I do whatever I can to ensure it. It is my job to look after you.”
I still didn’t understand it but I didn’t stop him from massaging me. I will admit it felt better. Finally, he stopped.
“Come, my love. Time for you to go home to bed.”
He led me to the door and waited while I locked the gallery up tight, then he walked me to my car.
“I have to go interstate on business, Georgy. I won’t be back until Saturday morning.”
I felt disappointed that I would not see him but relieved that I would not have him around to remind me that I was not giving him the commitment he desired. Each time I thought about him, I felt terrible because he was not getting what he truly desired.
I knew I should just break this off before we got in too deep. I was being selfish. I was frightened. If I submitted to him then I was worried that all I had worked for, all the independence, all the confidence I had built up with my gallery would be surrendered.
I was also trying hard to ignore the fact that when I submitted to him I had the most amazing sex. I was scared to admit, even to myself, that I was a sub.<
br />
I knew I was so close to falling in love with him and if I did, and then we called it quits, it would break my heart.
He drew me to him and kissed me passionately. I loved the way I felt it all the way to my toes. I would miss him so much but better to stop now. We parted and he opened my door.
“Will I see you at the ball Saturday?”
I shook my head. “No. No, Jackson, this won’t work. I can’t do this. I can’t give you want you need and I can’t submit to you. If I stay with you, you will break my heart and we both know it.”
“Georgia, no. Please don’t. We can work this out, I know we can.”
Tears were falling again. I steeled myself and shook my head. “I’m sorry, Jackson.”
I started the car and before he could say anything I drove away.
Talk about leaving before I got my heart broken. It already was.
I drove home, somehow without wrapping myself around a pole, raced inside, and threw myself on the bed sobbing.
My heart was shattered into a thousand pieces. What was I going to do? I could never submit even though I was in love with him. Too late I realised I had fallen, fallen so deep for my wolf.
Chapter Fourteen
I had no idea how long I stood there. I was in shock. I wanted to scream, I wanted to hit something.
I couldn’t believe she’d just left me!
I couldn’t accept it. Hell, if she wanted a vanilla life I would give it to her, anything she wanted she could have as long as we were together. How could she leave?
My heart felt like it had turned to wood. How could I live without my little rabbit?
Okay, this was crazy. I had to make her see, make her understand. I’d go to her now. I got in the car.
Stupid! Stupid man!
I didn’t get her address, her phone number! I thumped the steering wheel—hard. What a fool I was!
I started the car and started driving aimlessly. I had no idea where I was going until I pulled into Paul’s driveway. I needed to talk this through with him. We might have been cousins but we both felt more like brothers.
Lisa answered when I rang the bell.
“Jackson, hi.” She looked surprised. “Come inside.” She stood aside for him to enter. “Paul’s in the living room.”
I walked in with Lisa following. Paul looked up in surprise when I entered.
“I’ve stuffed up, Paul.”
I slumped into a chair. Paul and Lisa exchanged looks.
“What’s going on, Jack?”
Once started, I could not stop. I told Paul and Lisa everything. Told them about meeting Georgia in the Club and how I had basically assaulted her. Why I had been so angry when Paul had spoken to me on Thursday night. Then how I had tracked Georgia down from an article in the paper and confronted her at her gallery.
Then I told them about the stupid bet I had made. How everything seemed so perfect until tonight.
If Paul was surprised that I told him everything, including me stalking her at The Club and breaking every single rule about people who wear the ‘green kimono,’ he never said, never judged me.
“I’m not sorry, Paul. I know she is mine. I just can’t get it through to her. She hears the word ‘submit’ and thinks she has lost herself. She doesn’t see that it’s in her nature, doesn’t understand why she has amazing sex with me. I’m not asking her to give up her identity. She can’t see beyond the word. It is as if she has blinkers on and can only focus on that one thing.”
Paul looked at me as if he had no idea what to say. I guess he had never seen this side of me, never see me despondent. I was always so confident, and I’ll admit, almost arrogant, and now I was reduced to this. I felt like crying. “Does she know you love her?” Lisa asked.
I shook my head. Paul looked at me and I saw understanding in his eyes. He knew what it was like to almost lose someone you love. Somehow, I hoped they would be able to help me sort out this mess.
“You did explain to her that you didn’t want a 24-7 Dom/sub relationship?”
“I’m not sure. I mean I told her it was about the sex. I thought she understood that.”
Lisa shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Men!”
Paul looked thoughtful. “Listen, Jack, you need to get over to her house immediately and sort it out with her. You need to explain everything and make sure she understands exactly what you want from her.”
“I can’t. I don’t know where she lives and I have to fly out early in the morning. I won’t be back till Saturday.”
Paul and I just looked at each other helplessly. Lisa took charge.
“Okay. You go tomorrow. I’ll find out her phone number and send it to you. You can ring her and sort out a time to talk when you get back or else ring her at the gallery.”
I felt like a drowning man and Lisa was throwing me a life raft. All I could do was hope she would see me and maybe, just maybe, we could work this mess out.
I gave Lisa a hug, shook hands with Paul, and drove home. There was nothing I could do tonight. Once I got to my hotel in the morning I would ring her at the gallery. I could arrange a meeting for us. If she said no then I would just turn up at her house when Lisa gave me her address.
* * * *
I felt awful when I woke on Tuesday morning.
So bad that I rang Janice and asked if she could hold down the fort. My head was pounding and my eyes hurt. Hopefully it was just from stress and I wasn’t coming down with anything. Thankfully, she agreed and I promised her an extra large Christmas bonus.
I went back to bed and slept the morning away. I woke around one, showered and went to sit in the sun for a while. The phone rang as I was heading out the door. It was Janice.
“Georgia, how are you feeling? Sorry to bother you but a man called Jackson keeps ringing. Is that the guy from last night? He left his number, both his mobile and the hotel where he is staying. Says it is very important he get in touch with you. Should I give him your home number?”
“Hi, Janice. Yes, it is the same guy. Please don’t give him the number here. Tell him…Tell him I will speak to him next week when he is back. Ask him not to ring anymore.”
“Are you sure, boss? I mean he is one hunky-looking guy and he has the hots for you.”
“Yes, I’m sure. Unfortunately I’m sure.”
“Okay, you’re the boss. He seemed really upset when I told him you weren’t in the office because you were sick. Oh and by the way, a woman called Fleur rang. She left her number.”
“Oh, yes, I need that. Can you give it to me?”
I got the number from Janice and hung up. What could Jackson want? I doubted there was anything he could say to make me change my mind. It was no good trying some vanilla relationship. It just would not work. He needed a 24-7 sub and I was not it. Even if we tried something vanilla sooner or later it would fall apart and my heart would be shattered.
Where was a miracle when you needed one?
I rang Fleur and arranged to meet her and her friends for lunch tomorrow. I was going to cancel but then realised I needed to talk to someone about everything. Fleur would understand, especially as she was a sub.
I had a restless night’s sleep. I kept dreaming I was Little Red Riding Hood and the wolf was chasing me. He kept morphing into Jackson and back to a wolf.
When I arrived at work, Janice took one look at me and shook her head. Fortunately she did not ask questions.
Around ten, the florist girl turned up again, this time with a dozen red roses. I opened the envelope with shaking hands. One word again this time—“Please.” It seemed rather ambiguous. Did he mean please submit? Or did he mean please see him?
I needed that miracle, something that would satisfy both our desires.
Fleur and the others had booked a restaurant that was five minutes’ walk from the gallery. Things were fairly quiet at the gallery. There had been a steady stream of visitors but nothing overwhelming for one person. I told Janice I would be back later in the afternoon, a
nd to ring me if she needed me urgently as I was only a few doors away.
I was nervous to meet Fleur’s friends. I imagined she would have told them what was going on. I wondered how they would react.
I need not have worried. They greeted me as if they had known me forever and I was their number-one friend.
I relaxed as Fleur made the introductions. I noticed she did not have the leather collar on, and instead she wore a simple chain. The other sub, Cassie, had a beautiful silver tube around her neck. I would never have known what it was if I had not read up on subs and Doms.
It was funny. Fleur would introduce a woman and then tell me their little kink.
So it was. “This is Kendra, she lives with two men. Juliet is married to a hunk, he likes to tie her naked to the stair rails at The Club and let men play with her body. And Erin is with Val, who is bisexual. She loves getting fucked by two men at once while he gets fucked.”
I blushed when I remembered that I had seen Erin at The Club.
She grinned at me. “It is so good. You should try it. Orgasm after orgasm.”
I told her I had been watching when she performed.
I explained that it had started the whole thing with the wolf and me. Fleur asked me how I was feeling and I filled her in on what had happened. She looked surprised.
“I thought you both would sort things out. It’s obvious he’s in love with you. And look at you! You have the hots for him.”
“I couldn’t submit, Fleur. I can’t do this. It is breaking my heart to leave him but I can’t be a 24-7 submissive.”
I tried to explain to them how I felt. How Jackson made me feel alive, how when I was kneeling before him that I felt I belong. That when I did something that he praised me for I got a glow all through my body.
I finally understood the dynamics of a Dom/sub relationship. Yes, it was about control but, more importantly, it was about love. It was about truly giving to another, a relationship that is from true devotion, trust, openness and love. It was about absolute passion and intensity. This was what Jackson was offering me.
