“I’m only able to see you when your father deliberates with his council, which is not often enough,” he said. “Let us enjoy the moment.”
Israel leaned in to kiss her, but she stopped him short, touching her fingertips to his lips as a wave of dread slid throughout her body. “Promise me something.”
He took her fingertips into his mouth, rolling his tongue over the sensitive skin. The resulting pull between her legs tightened every muscle in her body. How could she live without him? Dragging her closer, he pressed his hips to her. She closed her eyes, committing the feel of him to memory. “You’re my mate. I’ll promise you anything.”
Her instincts kicked into gear as a wave of hot air brushed over her skin. They’d run out of time. “Swear to do what I ask.”
Israel pulled away, all traces of lust vanishing from his emerald gaze. “I swear.”
“Kill me.”
“What?” He dropped his hold on her, backing away.
A section of trees caught fire to her left.
“He’s coming, Israel. Kill me now. Save yourself. If you don’t, we’ll never be together again. Please.” She stepped away and lowered herself onto her knees as the fire spread across the dried brush around them. “You’ve already sworn. I hold you to your oath and demand payment.”
The agony contorting his expression broke her heart, but the ache wouldn’t last long. He’d do as she’d ordered and they’d be free. As she’d suspected, Israel withdrew the sword with which he’d killed so many of her kind. Tears welled in his eyes. “How can you ask this of me?”
“We’ll be together again. I promise.” She took his sword hand in hers. She kissed his knuckles then pressed them against her face. When she reopened her eyes, she’d prepared herself. “You’ll find me.”
Israel took a step back as though he’d back out of his oath. The forest burned around them, yet neither acknowledged its disastrous potential. Raising the tip of his sword to her heart, he paused. “Release me from my oath.”
She met his gaze, composed, ready to die for him. She’d arranged for her expulsion to Earth behind his back, but she’d leave the rest up to him. If he wanted her, he’d find her. If not, she’d live a mortal life never knowing he existed. “No.”
His face contorted with suffering as the tears escaped. “Release me!”
“No!”
The sword slid through her heart. Pain ripped through her chest as she collapsed. She’d die quickly and as long as Sorren kept his end of the deal, they’d find each other again.
He collapsed at her side, sliding his fingertips along her cheekbone. But the plan had already been put into place. “Don’t let him bring me back, Israel. No matter what happens, don’t let him bring me back.”
Intense phantom pain cleared her vision.
“I didn’t believe you when you said the Deceiver had discovered our secret. And as punishment, I was forced to kill the woman I love to save my life.” His voice held just a portion of the agony she’d witnessed in their past. “But we found each other again, like you promised.”
On the surface, the puzzle of her life seemed complete. The man standing before her claimed to be her soul mate, and visions of her past—memories—filled in the rest of her life. She’d been a demon, the heiress to the Devil himself, and cast from eternity to live as a human with no memory. By choice. She took three deep breaths and fisted her hands to control the tremors running down her arms. “I’m one of them.”
“I’m sorry, Vdarra. I tried…”
Her heart broke. He blamed himself for everything that’d happened thus far, but according to her own memories, she’d made the choice to rip them apart. Nuclear bonds and all.
And he’d suffered every day for the past ten years because of it.
She reached for him, placed her fingertips under his chin and tilted his head upward. The anguish in his gaze stopped her heart. She swallowed around the lump in her throat as she traced the dark shadow under his left eye with the pad of her thumb. “All this time, a small part of me hated you for dragging me into this. I kept asking why you couldn’t have just left me alone in Rio, let me live my life, but it turns out I brought it all on myself. And you. And here I thought you were only protecting me to get into my pants again.”
He cracked a half-smile, a dimple popping up on his stubbled cheek, but nothing more.
“Jacob, I’m the one who should be sorry. Can you ever forgive me? Please?”
“I forgave you the moment I saw you in Rio.” He pressed his cheek into her hand and cradled it with his own. Stubble tickled the palm of her hand, but he wouldn’t let her pull back.
“Really?” She didn’t know how else to respond.
The lines etched at the corner of his eyes deepened. “Is that so hard to believe?”
“I just…I asked you to kill me, which killed our relationship and separated us for more than ten years, and you can forgive me that easily?”
“That’s part of what love is. Forgiveness when we do stupid things.” The small twist of a smile disappeared when she didn’t respond. His features hardened. He dropped his hand and took a step back. Away from her.
Her stomach tightened as her hand fell to her side, prickling with the phantom feel of his jaw against her skin.
“But that’s not good enough, is it? You haven’t forgiven me yet. For leaving you in Rio.”
Her mouth opened and closed. Worked to answer. The silence stretched to the point where his expression shut down completely. He’d closed himself off to her. “Jacob, I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me. I wouldn’t be standing here if it weren’t for you, and I know you had your reasons for disappearing that night. But it hurt. A lot. You were my only lead to unlocking my past and you turned your back on me. I just…I just need time to figure all this out.”
He nodded, but the tension still held his neck and shoulders stiff. Would he really punish her for protecting herself from rejection again?
From the distance he’d added between them? Yes.
She crossed her arms over her chest. The sooner they found that damn ring, the better. They could both move on with their lives and attack one problem at a time. “You said I’m the Heiress to the Underworld and these demons want to free an army sworn to me. So they need me and the Seal to free the army?”
“The army was given to you as a gift from your father. They will follow only you, and the Seal is the key.” His green gaze captivated her and, for the first time, she noted the yellow tint around the edges of his pupils.
“In my dreams—memories—your eyes didn’t have any gold.”
His index finger brushed down his nose. A distraction. “An effect from my fall. It takes nine mortal days to reach Earth. During that time, you’re ripped apart, put back together, burned, and stripped of everything you’ve ever known in the Afterlife. Including everlasting life. The scarring is different for every angel. Mine was in my eyes so other angels would immediately see the traitor I am.”
If eyes were the windows of the soul, then she found herself staring into a green abyss. “You gave up your immortality for me?”
“Yeah, well, we all do stupid things.”
She went stock-still, unsure how to respond. Somehow during the past few days, he’d demolished the defenses she’d built since that day in the ocean. Surely the combination of her memories of them as lovers and his protective instincts had something to do with the urge to lean into him, forget her stupid ideas of rejection, and throw the world to its fate.
Too late to take it back.
“How,”—she cleared her throat in an attempt to clear her head of him—“how are we going to stop my—the Deceiver?”
He pulled his shoulders back, the definitive power of him almost overbearing compared to her size. He’d obviously been a great warrior in his day. Her day. “We have to find the Seal before the Deceiver does. Otherwise your death, and every innocent life lost, was in vain.”
Darkness washed over her again. S
he’d forgotten the security guards momentarily in the mess of things. She’d forgotten a lot, been too consumed with him. The gaps in her memory were familiar and the slithering presence at the back of her mind shifted. She’d writhed on the ground for what seemed like hours, and after a time, the pain disappeared and…she couldn’t recall the rest. “The last thing I remember is being stabbed with a needle and now I don’t even have a mark to show for it. So in order to find this Seal, I need to know what happened. You said I passed out after the injection, but I heard these voices in my head. And pain. There was a lot of pain.”
He averted his attention to the floor.
Desperation fueled her forward. She closed the distance he’d wedged between them, forced him to look her in the eye. “Jacob, please. I’ve already lost myself once. I can’t go through that again. Did you see anything?”
He exhaled hard. “As I said before, the Army of Duemos will only be led by its true leader. You. In order to gain your compliance, the Deceiver injected you with a measure of his own blood. You share his blood so it stands to reason the injections wouldn’t kill you as they would another human.”
She tried to ignore the disgust swelling in her stomach, but mind over matter had never been an easy task. “They’re trying to turn me into her. To get the Seal and take control of the army, but it’s not working. Why do they keep trying? And why did my father just leave me there?”
“Testing doses.” His dead tone startled her. “Transfusing demonic blood with mortal blood has never been done before. They obviously weren’t sure how much it’d take to resurrect your memories, but when you survived the first test, he must have moved on to a higher dosage for the second. As for leaving you there, I suspect he’s hoping some part of your memory came back and that you’d lead them to the Seal, but by the time I found you, he’d already gone.”
The pressure at the back of her head increased, urged her to remember. Darkness met her inquiries, a black wall that pushed back. Her fingertips tingled like an aftershock directly following an earthquake. The sensation absorbed into her bones, only an echo, but enough for her to know the truth. That black wall hadn’t existed before.
She’d brought something back with her. “What would happen if their plan worked? If they brought some part of her back?”
His left foot lifted. Ready to flee.
“No. You don’t get to walk away from me. Not this time. You were there, weren’t you?”
He didn’t need to answer. His silence spoke volumes.
She swung around, dug her palms into her eyes. “You saw me turn into her.”
…
The mere presence of her cured the longing he’d suffered, but her obvious panic intensified the guilt eating at him from the inside. If he hadn’t ended her immortal existence, they wouldn’t be in this situation.
“I know you were in love with her and I can only imagine how much you want her back, but you know if they restore my memories, I’ll want to take control of that army, don’t you?” Facing him again, she inhaled slowly. Tried to get control. “We can’t let her come back. Do you understand?”
In his mind he kissed her, making her shiver beneath him. Would he ever get the chance to taste her again? Would she ever forgive him for his stupidity?
“Jacob,” she said.
The weight of her attention increased the pressure on his chest. “I know.”
“If we go after the Seal, there’s a chance I’ll come in contact with it, and if what you say is true, that I’m the ring’s owner, I’ll want to put it on.”
The anguish in her eyes speared through him.
“I can’t promise it won’t happen, but if it comes to that, I’ll fight it as long as I can until we destroy the Seal. I don’t want more people to get hurt because of me. But if I give in, if I raise that army, you’ll need to k—”
“Don’t you dare say the words.” He closed his eyes, giving in to the dark paradise he’d constructed. As an immortal, he had no need for sleep, but he dreamt all the same. Of Duemos. Her smile. Her laugh. The way they’d rendezvoused in the most beautiful locations Earth had to offer.
Don’t let him bring me back, Israel. No matter what happens, don’t let him bring me back.
She’d been ripped from his life in the blink of an eye because of his carelessness. There was no remedy for memories and he’d wished he’d been the one to sacrifice himself for her. He’d expected his regret would haunt him for the rest of his life, but for her to psychically take part in this torture blindsided him. “I killed you once. I can’t go through that again. I won’t.”
Her silky touch ran along one side of his jaw, urged him to open his eyes. “Please look at me.”
He needed more from her than a simple touch, but she dropped her hand. The lack of warmth from her fingertips took the last of his control. He reached for her, cupping her cheeks, and pulled her lips to his.
She relaxed into him as he angled his head to deepen the kiss. Their tongues tangled, chasing and retreating. He breathed her in deep. Made her part of him.
She pushed against his chest and stepped back, wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “We need a plan to stop my father from getting the Seal.”
Her determination to move forward normally would’ve made him smile, a slight reminder of the strong, passionate leader he’d known, yet her rejection singed every nerve ending in his body. His heart beat out of control, lost in her.
The Deceiver’s second test had succeeded. Duemos’s memories had come back for several minutes, but that version of her hadn’t remembered a single portion of their relationship, of their love. One more dose of her father’s blood and he’d lose her forever. She’d destroy the world within hours, at her father’s command. She’d proven herself strong-willed mentally and physically, but her former self had been stronger. How could he risk her father getting his hands on her again?
Duemos would win the battle and take mankind as her trophy.
Frizz at the crown of her head and dark lines under her eyes refocused his attention to his top priority. Her. “You’ve been through quite a bit today. Perhaps you’d like to rest again before we figure out a plan.”
“Good idea.” Her attention lingered past his shoulder. Lost. Distant. He couldn’t begin to imagine the thoughts running through her head, but the slight narrowing of her eyes revealed he probably wouldn’t like the answer. When her gaze returned to his, a smile spread her lips thin. “I probably smell like that alley.”
She turned her back on him and gathered a fresh set of jeans, boots, and one of those T-shirts she seemed so keen on wearing. Stopping just before she disappeared into the bathroom, she straightened a bit. “Thank you, Jacob. For everything you’ve done for me. I know it hasn’t been easy to face what you’re going through.”
She didn’t know the half of it.
“I’ll just be a few minutes.”
“Take your time.” He forced himself to remain in place, but the further she distanced herself from him, the stronger the ache in his heart grew. Physically and emotionally. Before she’d even shut the door behind her, she’d begun to strip off her tank top, baring sections of skin he’d craved to touch. Even through the door, her soul called to him and the call had only grown since Rio, like a low vibration he’d be perfectly satisfied losing himself in.
Loving her forever couldn’t be wrong. Not when seeing her made his breath catch or his heart stop. Not when hope demanded they make it one more day together. No one compared to her, and he couldn’t bear to lose her again. Yet the Deceiver had already taken a portion of her back with his injections and he wouldn’t stop until his daughter took her place at his right hand.
He commanded his legs to take him back into the living room, away from the sound of water hitting bare skin. As a distraction, he checked the runes running along the base of the front door and each of the apartment’s windows. There were no demons here, no Seal of Solomon. Just them, and only if for a night, he’d keep her safe before s
he destroyed the world.
Chapter Twelve
The feelings she had for the man on the other side of that door weren’t her own. Who in their right mind fell for a person they’d only met three days ago? The connection, the attraction, both had been planted long before she’d ever met him. Had to be. But they felt real all the same. Felt like a part of her.
The shower melted the grime away, but her gut stayed twisted. Leaning her hands against one wall of the shower, Vdarra sank into the water running over her head and down her shoulders. She’d changed back in that alley, became someone she didn’t even know existed until a few hours ago, and every cell in her body tingled with the echo of pain burning through her veins.
She reached for the shampoo. Distraction.
The prickling slithered down through her shoulders, into her fingertips. She shook her hand out then rubbed small, firm circles with her thumb into the center of her palm. The tingly sensation receded, but not entirely. There was a solution for that.
No.
She couldn’t go down that path again. Not with him.
Her hair foamed the more she dug her fingernails into her scalp. Why the hell did he have to shut down every preconceived notion she had about him? Watching over her, understanding she needed time to adjust to a life she’d once known, helping her. The least he could do was get angry, give her and her stupid molecules a reason not to crave his touch.
She dove under the spray to rinse then shut off the water with a hard twist. Climbing out of the shower, she inhaled sharply as the cool breeze from her air conditioner sent a chill across her skin. She couldn’t complain. Her body had been burning since the moment she set eyes on Jacob. Moving to Antarctica might fix that. Freezing temperatures. Distance from the one man she craved the most.
The towel she used to dry herself nearly scraped off the first layer of skin down her calves. Dammit. She couldn’t live like this.
Tendrils of sound from the television filtered through the door.
The seams in her shirt protested as she jerked it over her head. Her jeans stuck to her still damp skin, but she couldn’t take it anymore. He’d done something to her and she was going to fix it. Now. She pulled her wet hair back with a tie and charged through the bedroom into the living room.
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