“Wow.” She held him tight to her body, ignored the sting of tears at the outer corners of her eyes. The darkness hovering in the back of her mind loomed like a heavy weight, but didn’t flare as long as she kept hold of him. The press of his body instilled hope that she’d remember the past, remember him as the warrior he’d been. Someday. Only this moment mattered now. “With orgasms like that, I never want to forget you again.”
Shifting to his side, he peered at her with hooded eyes, keeping himself connected with her in the most intimate way. A smile pulled at the corner of his mouth and her inner walls contracted as another wave of desire rushed through her. “You won’t. I won’t let you.”
“Good.” She huddled in closer, sought the warmth he offered, the safety radiating off him. Her fingertips fluttered over the smooth skin of his backside. Tickling. Teasing. Their breaths matched in pace, and she counted to twenty before a combination of curiosity and courage got the best of her. “Can you tell me what I was like? As Duemos, I mean.”
He kept an arm around her middle as he propped his head onto one hand. Delicious muscles rippled across his torso and abs as he moved. His erection twitched, reviving the aftershocks of pleasure in her blood stream.
Her mouth watered as though she hadn’t just experienced one of the most life-altering orgasms in existence. Then again, she’d been starved of him for ten years. Her appetite was far from satisfied. She maneuvered on top of him, breaking their sensual connection, breasts to his chest. She slid her still-pebbled nipples over his skin. Pure sensation electrified her nerve endings as she drew invisible circles all across his chest.
His breath hitched on a groan, but he kept his hands on top of her thighs.
Bending her elbows, she lowered her mouth to his chest and flicked her tongue over one hardened male nipple. His jolt pulled her mouth into a smile, but she wasn’t close to finished with him. She licked a trailing line across his chest. Smooth skin gave way to a long line of dark chest hair and she followed the trail lower, keeping her gaze locked on his dilating irises.
She reached the “V” carved into his hips then dove lower. The condom slipped off easily, leaving behind just enough lubricant for her to slide her fingers down his length comfortably.
He gasped, bolted up to sit, but one palm against his chest prohibited him from moving an inch. “Stubborn.”
“Stubborn? I don’t believe that.” She laughed and stroked more firmly, one hand gliding over him. She fought for the right amount of pressure, but by his unfocused stare and parted lips, she’d bet her savings he wouldn’t complain either way. Heat gathered between her legs. The softest skin on his body tightened over him the longer she worked, but even in such an erotic state, he had the uncanny ability to make the world disappear. Even in the worst situations, her automatic defenses had become useless against him. Whether because of their past or the present, she had no idea and didn’t care. Everything about him repaired the gaping hole in her life. “What else?”
He dropped his head onto the couch arm. “I can’t believe you’re pumping me for information like this.”
“Would you have it any other way?” She increased her pace.
“Oh, God.” Gripping her arms, he pulled her hard against his chest. Her nipples slid over him, but he didn’t give her time to relish the sensations. “You have to stop or I’m going to explode, and I doubt your couch would like it.”
“Are you saying you’ve had enough of me showing my appreciation?” Nipping at his jaw, she scraped her teeth along his throat. Bristles of facial hair tickled her lips. “I have a whole box of protection in there and I’m not remotely close to paying back your kindness.”
“You’ve already paid me back.”
“Oh, yeah? How so?”
“You’re here. With me.” He kissed her jawline. “You are beautiful. Spirited.” He kissed her lips. “Sexy as hell. That’s enough for me.”
He crushed his lips to hers, and she felt him pulse against her. Her body responded in kind. Echoes of their past lingered on the edges of her mind and she wanted to drown in pleasure, in her sense of belonging. With him by her side she was stronger, in control. Happy. But would it last? “Is that all? I mean, what I was like?”
Her thoughts splintered as the lines around his mouth deepened. Studying her, he ran a thumb over her bottom lip. “You were the most powerful demon alive aside from the Deceiver himself.”
Demon. Still couldn’t wrap her head around that. She tried to swallow. Sobered. The weight at the back of her mind shifted as a wraith slid between her synapses. Dark emotion played across her nerves and she struggled to form her next question. Licking dry lips, she refused to give into the pull despite the overwhelming temptation. “Was I evil?”
He dragged her into a hug, stroked his hand down her back. He cradled the back of her head as she rested her cheek against his chest. In. Out. The deep breaths he took signaled her own to slow. “No. Never. The moment we met in battle, I knew the rumors were true.”
“What kind of rumors?”
“The Deceiver’s own daughter, leader of his elite Hunters, refused to shed blood. I didn’t believe it until I saw you with my own eyes. In battle, you instructed your fighters to defend themselves, never to attack. Many angels owe you their lives, including me.”
“Really?” She raised her head. Focused on him.
He traced a finger under her eye. “Your heart wasn’t committed to slaying others and that’s why I fell in love with you. You worked for peace where it didn’t exist. I admired that, wanted that in my life. I had to have you, and I haven’t stopped fighting for you since. And I won’t.”
Her eyes burned at the edges. Even when she’d chosen to end their relationship and refused to start another, he’d never given up on her. On them. She wiped a stray tear from her face. “Why? I’ve done nothing but make your life hell. In both worlds. ”
“Because I see more than your demon, Vdarra. Just in the past three days you’ve shown me the caring, confident woman you would’ve been if not for your father. You’re no longer the mate I fell in love with in the Afterlife, but the woman I was meant to be with. Immortal or not.”
Her heart skipped a beat. “You don’t miss her? The old me?”
“Every quality I loved about her has been amplified ten times in you. So, no, I don’t miss her. I have you. It just took a couple tries to get it right.” He brushed a strand of hair away from her face. “Never expected to end up in New York City, though. You used to hate this place. You said it had too many demons.”
The zing of pleasure sliding down her neck rocketed her pulse higher, hitched the breath in her lungs. “I’ve never really felt like I belonged here. I stayed because my father supposedly got sick. Guess my instincts were right all along. Except when it came to you.”
“What do you mean? I’m perfect for you.”
A smile overwhelmed her control. Despite the darkness converging on them, he set her at ease. She’d never forget that. No matter what happened, or how this ended, she’d remember him for the rest of her life. As long as she could help it.
“Yes, but how stupid of you to fall in love with a demon. Look where it’s gotten you.” Following her remark with a deep, tongue-sweeping kiss, she ran her index finger along his jawline, his five o’clock shadow prickling against her skin. “I’m glad you did it. Really. Thank you. And to show you more of my appreciation…”
The trail of fine, soft hair across his chest led her to the “V” shaping his hips where she stopped for a second taste. Already hardening for another round, his erection became her only point of interest. He’d given her the greatest pleasure she’d experienced in almost a decade. Twice. Time to return the favor.
Chapter Thirteen
She’d never seen him sleep.
Facial muscles relaxed, eyes closed, Jacob resembled a warrior just home from war—black circles under his eyes, small white scars decorating the otherwise perfect skin across one shoulder. Curiosity urged her
fingertips to pull the sheets a bit lower and see just how low the wounds descended. Running the pad of her thumb over one raised scar ending just above his nipple, she watched his face for signs of rousing, but he slept, dead to the world.
His dark hair swirled a mesmerizing contrast against her white pillows, and her fingers itched to test the softness. The evenness of his breathing didn’t change as she stroked the silken strands. Everything about him attracted her. From his penetrating gaze, full lips, and calloused hands, to his ability to give her pleasure like no other. Even the way he’d carried her to the bed set her nerves on fire. It was like he’d been made specifically for her.
With one last comb of her fingers through his hair, she pushed herself from the bed, careful not to wake him. She collected her jeans from a pile in the corner, pulled them back on, and threw a T-shirt over her head. She stopped at the bedroom door. Her gaze lingered on the steady rise and fall of his chest. She needed distance. Busy work. Something to distract her from the fact she’d started falling for the man she couldn’t remember.
Within minutes, eggs crackled and popped in the pan, spurts of oil flying from the heat. It’d been more than a day since she’d eaten, but with so much pressing on her mind, with something foreign trying to take control of her thoughts, she hadn’t even felt the hunger.
I have you. His words eased the chaos running rampant in her head. A shiver chased down her spine as flashes of her appreciation danced across her mind. She could have him, too. If she wanted. All day, every day, his smile would make her tingle. His eyes would tell her all the sensual thoughts he had in mind for them. He’d make her whole again. Give her purpose and answers, and everything else she’d searched for over the last decade. All wrapped up in one delicious package. The rejection gripping onto the last bit of her that hadn’t surrendered itself to him yet flared to life. Not as strong. Barely recognizable, but there. Could she survive him leaving again?
No.
Hot drops of oil landed on her arm, but Vdarra only had attention for the presence at her back. She didn’t have to turn around to know he studied her from her head to her toes. The pressure weighed on her comfortably, just as he had in bed, but she needed more time. “You’re supposed to be sleeping.”
“So are you.” Strong arms wrapped around her midsection from behind as his lips pressed against her ear. Just his touch had her body reacting intimately. She tried to keep her mind on her task, but desire pooled, and she wanted him.
“Are you cooking me breakfast?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never actually seen you eat. Or sleep for that matter.” She turned the stove top off with a twist of the knob, scooping the eggs onto a plate beside the stove. He held on, moving with her, magnets pushing and pulling in the same direction because the laws of physics demanded it. She could get used to this, to him, here, living with her.
She put as much distance between their bodies as her tiny kitchen would allow. Too soon. She’d only known him four days. How had he made himself a part of her life so quickly? The answer slithered to the front of her mind as the darkness hovering over every thought, every movement, every connection, shifted.
“What did I say about being separated from you?” His hands twisted her around, pressed her into him. Shirtless and barefoot, he commanded attention from every single one of her senses.
She cleared her throat, had to focus. “Do you like eggs? I made enough for both of us. It’s nothing compared to the meal you made for me, but I figured if you were hungry enough—”
“Don’t know. I’ve never had to eat before now.”
“Oh.” Well, that settled it. “Guess that’s another thing I didn’t know about you.” She tried to pull back again, but he refused to let her budge.
The concern in his expression seared her to the core. “Something wrong?”
Yes. For one, she’d promised him—promised herself—she wouldn’t let him get to her. And it’d taken what, less than three days to start visualizing them living together? Staying together. Loving each other for the rest of their mortal or immortal lives. “I just have a headache.”
She fit perfectly against him as though they were two pieces from the same puzzle, but that thought unnerved her even more. How could she be one half of a whole without ever realizing it before now? “And, there’s a lot I don’t know—well, don’t remember—about you, and the stuff in my head is only coming through in random pieces.”
“Well, smell me to keep the pain down if you have to. Although, I’m not sure I smell as good as before since we’ve barely made it out of bed in the last twelve hours.” His laugh rumbled against her cheek, but failed to dislodge the reality she had to face.
The world wouldn’t stop by her hiding out in her apartment. Her father wouldn’t stop looking for her, or the Seal, and whatever she and Jacob had between them, it wouldn’t survive in the real world. He was an angel. He fought demons, protected Heaven, loved passionately and loyally, and she had nothing more to offer than this old apartment and a life lacking the things he’d devoted himself to all his life. She couldn’t hold up to that. She couldn’t be enough to keep him here, just as she hadn’t been enough to keep him in Rio. And he’d leave. Again.
A sob stuck in her throat, but she wouldn’t let it escape.
“What do you want to know?”
“Everything. My father’s”—A vise gripped her lungs—“tests didn’t get the job done, so I have to learn about you somehow. Tell me everything.”
A snort escaped from the back of his throat. “That might take a while.”
“Well, start with how old you are. Who were you before…?”
“I became an Archangel?”
She licked dry lips and swallowed the lump closing her throat, as heat crawled up her face and neck. “Yeah. You just seem to know everything about me, even if I don’t, but I don’t really know anything about you. As far as I’m concerned, we met in Rio four days ago.”
“Well, it might be hard to believe, but I was created to help build the earth. After that, I led the Father’s army for centuries against the Deceiver. Until you came along. So that would make me really old.”
She pulled back and this time, he let her.
His eyes brightened as her mouth dropped open.
“You helped build the earth? Like with God and Jesus and Michael?” Her eyebrows rose. “Wait, so are you—”
“I’m not Michael. Not even close.” Trailing his fingertips around the corner of her left eye, he smiled down at her. “I love it when you get frustrated or mad. You get a fire burning behind those beautiful eyes that I can’t look away from.”
“That right there is what I’m talking about.” She turned her attention to the now cold eggs sitting on the counter. A headache beat at the base of her skull, punishment from the presence in her head for distancing herself from him. It couldn’t get enough of him, wanting to hear him, see him, taste him. To touch him.
Realistic relationships didn’t work that way and her undeniable attraction for him scared the hell out of her. Who was in charge up there? Of her body? Her or Duemos? Sometimes, she couldn’t tell the difference. “I don’t know anything about you, about your past. I can’t read you like you can read me. You know me inside and out, as well as you know yourself. I just feel so lost because someone else took that away from me. Even if it was actually me who did it.”
His lips pressed against the back of her neck, chased the pain away for a few moments as he brought her back into his arms. “Unless we give into the Deceiver’s plans, the only way you’ll remember everything about me is to experience it all over again. We have all the time in the world, Vdarra. I’m not going to let anything else happen to you. I’m never leaving you. Understand?”
For just a moment, she believed him. Whatever had made a home in the back of her mind disappeared, leaving her to think for herself, to experience him without the filter of someone else’s feelings. His warmth tunneled through her clothing and relaxed the anxiety bu
ilding in the center of her chest. Her skin prickled and she rested her head back against his shoulder. “How can I feel like an equal in”—she inhaled slowly—“whatever this is between us if I don’t remember a substantial amount of our prior relationship? Of my life?”
“We’re not equal,” he said against her neck, and held her in place when she tried confronting him. “You are far more precious than any other being on earth, or in the Afterlife. I could never compare to you.”
A laugh escaped her control. Bringing her hand up against his cheek, she tickled his earlobe with her fingertips. The movement felt so natural between them, but she honestly couldn’t remember a single time she’d done that to him. She hadn’t, but Duemos had, and she dropped her hand. “So, are you going to eat with me or are you going to stare while I gorge myself on fattening things from my fridge?”
He kissed the cord running between her shoulder and neck, his teeth grazing the skin. Clamping her thighs together, she struggled to breathe through the wave of desire. Biology dictated the amount of time it took for women to become aroused, nearly twice that of men, but in a single moment, he’d disproved that theory.
“I have something far more exciting in mind.” Nibbling along her shoulder, he held her against him as her knees threatened to buckle. “See? There are benefits to knowing you inside and out, as you put it.”
“I’m starting to see your point.” She tilted her head to the side, as she gave him complete access. No signs of the darkness taking over her thoughts, no one urging her into feeling something she didn’t. Just him. Just her. “What else can you tell me about myself?”
“How about I show you?”
Her insides twisted with anticipation. Not Duemos’s. Hers. They could waste the day away, stay in bed, and ignore the outside world with his protection runes. She’d have a chance to shape her own past and forget everything that held her back from surrendering completely—who she’d been, why she’d risked everything for the angel holding on to her. She didn’t need her memories to fall in love. She could be happy. She could drown herself in ignorance and lie to herself.
Her Fallen Protector Page 13
