by Rachel Astor
“Are you nuts?” I asked. “Of course not. I told you, these things have a way of working themselves out.”
Jen’s mouth dropped open. “You just basically told Mattie he had the go ahead, and you’re not going to tell your mother anything different?”
“It’ll be fine,” I said. “Besides, I have other stuff to worry about right now.”
Her mouth was still in its ultra-opened state. “Like what?”
I grabbed my laptop. “Well, I’ve been home for two months now. I should probably start thinking about finding a job.”
She crinkled her brow. “But what about Jake? Why would you need a job?”
“Um… because I still have to pay rent until I get married. Not to mention I still want to have a job. I mean, what the heck would I do with myself all day if I didn’t have a job?”
She shrugged. “Watch Ellen?”
I gave her a look. I mean, I liked Ellen as much as the next person, but I could seriously not see myself holed up in one of Jake’s houses, sitting on the couch and eating bonbons all day. “Would you be able to live with yourself if you didn’t have a job or any sort of identity of your own?”
She seemed to consider this for a moment. “I guess I see what you’re saying, but, the thing is, this is kind of your opportunity to do whatever you want now.”
“Not until the wedding,” I said. “I only have enough left over from the ghostwriting job to get me through another month or two.”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t you think if you just asked Jake for the money, he’d be more than happy to tide you over until the wedding.”
“Oh yeah, that would be fun. ‘Hey honey, could you just go ahead and pay my rent while I wait for you to marry me?’ I don’t think I’m quite that desperate yet.”
Jen made a face. “I guess that would be a tad humiliating.”
I nodded. “Exactly,” I said, typing in my job search.
“So… another copywriting job?” she asked.
I shrugged. “If I have to, I guess. I’d rather find something a little more interesting, but I don’t know if there’s anything out there. Especially for someone like me.”
“You are a bit of a spotlight hog,” Jen said, gesturing to the papers. “Hey,” she said, brightening. “You do have all that disguise experience from the Prince Leo job, maybe you could go incognito.” She giggled, turning her attention back to the tabloid she was holding.
“Har, har,” I said, although I couldn’t help but give the idea just a moment’s thought. I mean, I didn’t have to do a full-fledged top-to-bottom disguise, but a little change in hair color or a hat or something might not be such a bad idea. Of course, most people would probably recognize my name in an instant. McMaster isn’t all that common, not to mention no one could seem to say it anymore without adding the lovely ‘the Disaster’ to the end of it.
I broadened my search to include anything in the telecommuting realm. At least when people saw my name then, I could just lie and say it was a different Josie McMaster, right?
But the choices were few and far between.
“Aargh,” I yelled, making Jen jump. “There’s nothing in here.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll find something. And even if you don’t it’s not like you can’t just go to Jake.” She shrugged.
SHRUGGED!
As if I would be okay with taking handouts. Say what you want about my mother, but at least she raised her daughters to be self-sufficient. You know, mostly. I tried not to think about the whole Bridesmaid Lotto thing where I agreed to participate just for a trip to Europe. Of course, it was a dream trip, but still.
I guess we all had our weaknesses.
But I was not going to live my life being somebody else’s burden.
What I really wanted to say to Jen was to stuff it, but instead I exited as gracefully as possible with a simple, “I think I need a walk.”
CHAPTER 4
I put on my biggest pair of sunglasses and stormed out of the apartment building, pausing only to smile as I passed by the few paparazzi who always seemed to be hanging around. Of course I hated having to be all nicey-nice to the evil jerks all the time, but they held the power to either make me look fabulous or set me up for disaster. It was an odd dynamic, all the photogs looking all greasy and wearing clothes that had seen the better part of last decade, and they had the power to trash you if you didn’t look glamorous or beautiful enough.
What a world.
I strode toward the park hoping to find some privacy. I glanced back, noticing the photographers following at a less-than-comforting distance.
I sighed. I couldn’t really get any time alone at home with Jen being around every second of the day, not that I usually minded, but when you couldn’t even sneak off for caffeine and some peace outside of your house, it could really be a bit inconvenient at times.
I ducked into the coffee shop and grabbed a Peppermint Mocha and headed back out to the park, pretending all the way that a somewhat creepy group of lurkers wasn’t following me, which was harder than it looked since every person around seemed to be noticing the whole spectacle.
Finally, I found an empty bench and sat down, leaning my head back and sipping my mocha. It was actually pretty relaxing, kids laughing and playing in the background, people generally having fun all around me. Until, that is, I felt someone sit down beside me.
“Hey,” the person said.
I opened one eye and peeked over. It was the one female of the bunch, a girl who looked about five years younger than me. I took a deep breath. “Hey.”
“Look, I’m sorry to bother you, I know I’m like, totally breaking the whole paparazzi code or whatever, but I just wanted to see if you’re okay. You’re not looking too… happy. Like, not yourself or something.”
I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye, not yet sure if I should even be talking to her. She was, after all, kind of the enemy. “I’m fine,” was all I said.
“Yeah, I don’t think so. I mean something is obviously on your mind.”
“Well I certainly can’t talk to you about it now, can I?” I said, hating how harsh the words came out. She was right, I definitely wasn’t feeling like myself today. It kind of sucked that I had to rely on the slimy lurkers of the paparazzi to basically tell me what I was feeling now.
She fumbled with her hands, her camera dangling from a worn strap around her neck. The camera looked like it had seen better days too. My heart softened ever-so-slightly.
“Look I’m sorry, you’re right. I am a little down today, but it’s nothing really. Certainly nothing story worthy.” I chuckled. “Those guys will probably make it out to be though.” I tried not to sound too bitter, even though I probably did.
She shot me an expression that said I was probably right. Strange, it was like she was one of them, but different. Like maybe she had a moral or two left. Maybe she just hadn’t been completely converted yet.
“You know, I’ve never made up one of those lies,” she said.
It didn’t really sound like she was defending herself, just a matter-of-fact kind of statement, as if she’d just told me she was a Taurus or something. I didn’t doubt her for a second.
“So… why do you do this then?” I asked. “I mean, I know not everyone gets into your line of work imagining they’re going to tell lies about people, but surely they all must want to dig up scandalous stuff about the people they follow around.”
She shrugged. “Maybe some of them do. For me, I didn’t really get into this on purpose.” She turned to look directly at me. “I was a journalism student. Had it in my head that I was somehow going to make a difference in this world. Turns out my timing wasn’t the greatest though. The newspaper business is practically impossible to break into. I was, however, good at sneaking into clubs and getting shots of famous people partying it up.” She lifted her camera, dusting an invisible piece of lint off. “And now this is my life.” She shrugged again. “The pay’s okay… if you get a decent p
icture every now and then. Get a good scoop here and there.”
I nodded. There was just something kind of sad about a girl whose ambitions were to change the world through solid reporting, then ending up on a park bench with a sort-of celebrity whose only claim to fame was a silly bridesmaid contest and a few embarrassing leaked stories. “Sorry,” was all I could think of to say. “It must suck following someone like me around. It’s not like anything interesting ever happens to me.”
“It’s not so bad,” she said, smiling. “The guys are okay,” she motioned toward her counterparts who continued to lurk in the background. “Leo there… the bald one on the right, he’s actually pretty funny. Reminds me of my grandpa.”
I smiled. I couldn’t quite believe how… human this girl seemed, you know, for a member of the evil-doer’s society. “Well, just as a heads-up, I don’t think it’s going to be a very exciting day in McMaster the Disaster-ville.”
She chuckled. “I’m Andrea, by the way,” she said, putting her hand out.
I shook it, feeling the urge to tell her my name, which of course would have been ridiculous. “Well, if I think of a good scoop that I’m willing to divulge, you’ll be the first to know.”
“Cool,” she said, nodding. “Sorry again to bug you, you just… looked like you could use a friend.”
She got up to leave. “You don’t have to go,” I said.
And so we sat there for a while, both leaning our heads back, enjoying the day. My coffee tasted a little less delicious on account of the guilt that I had one and Andrea didn’t, but that was a small price to pay for letting a person take a load off, just for a little while.
“So, is there anything I can do to help?” she asked after a while. “You know, with the whole not feeling like yourself situation.”
I glanced at her, cautious, hoping the last few minutes of letting down my guard a bit weren’t for nothing.
“No…” I said slowly.
“Okay,” she said, and seemed content to leave it at that. “Honestly, I’m really not a bad person.”
I felt like a giant ass. “No, I know. I didn’t mean…”
She waved me off. “Don’t worry about it. In this line of work, you develop a thick skin fast. It does kind of suck though. All the people you pretty much spend time with twenty-four-seven totally think you’re an awful person when all you want to do is a little reporting. Even if it is just about the brand of shoes someone’s wearing.”
I laughed a little. “I’m sorry we make you feel that way. I think you’re one of the exceptions though. I mean, there have been so many fake stories about me, I can’t even keep the real ones straight anymore.”
“I know. I just… I hope no one thinks I’m doing that.”
“Well, now I know,” I said, smiling.
She smiled back. “Yeah, I guess you do.” She straightened up, getting ready to stand. “Listen, seriously, just let me know if you need anything. You know, if this whole not feeling like yourself thing doesn’t blow over.”
I laugh-snorted. “You don’t know of any copywriting jobs out there I suppose.” I was totally joking, of course.
“That’s your issue? You don’t have any money?”
My heart started beating faster. Damn, what had I done? I friggin’ told the paparazzi that I’m flat broke.
“Well, no, I do. I’ve got some savings. It’s just that, you know, the usual. I don’t really want to rely on anyone else to take care of me, you know?”
Her eyes brightened. “Actually, it’s not a copywriting thing, but there is something you might be able to do for some extra cash.”
“If you say reality show, I’m gonna shove you off this bench.”
She rolled her eyes. “No. I just meant, well… you’re kind of in the perfect position to get great inside scoops.”
My mouth dropped open. She couldn’t be serious.
“I’m not saying to like, spy on your friends or anything, I just mean that if there happens to be something awesome going on at one of the openings you’re at, or a party or whatever, just give me a call. Seriously, the price these papers will pay for a great story, especially one that can be proven, you know, with camera phone pictures or whatever, is pretty huge.”
“I’m sorry, but I cannot rat out my friends to the very people who made my life miserable.”
She raised her eyebrows. “You know, it could be an opportunity to set the record straight for a lot of these people.”
“I appreciate the offer and everything, but I really don’t think I’m interested.”
“Okay, but just think about it,” she said, sliding her card across the bench. “Honestly, one great scoop and you could be set up for a few months, my finder’s fee taken out of course.”
“Finder’s fee?” I really wasn’t liking where this was going.
“So you can remain anonymous. Someone’s got to take the story to the papers, make sure we get the best price for it.”
I shoved the card in my purse, more to get it out of the open than anything.
“Don’t count on hearing from me,” I said.
“It’s up to you.” She picked up her gloves from the bench. “I’m just asking you to think about it, that’s all.” She backed away a few steps before turning and heading back to the others.
I hated that something about her made me trust her, feel for her. It had to suck standing out in the cold all day just waiting around for something to happen, even knowing nothing probably would. And I could so easily be attending some party, warm and looking great and just happen upon something that could make her life so much easier. Not to mention make my little rent situation a whole lot easier too.
But I could never do it. I mean, the tabloids were my mortal enemies. To even think about helping them out was the most ridiculous thing ever.
Although, I suppose if something totally innocent came along, I could send a little text her way or something, you know, just to be nice. Definitely not for the money or anything.
~ ~ ~
“I can’t believe you’re leaving next week,” I pouted.
“I know, I’m going to miss you like you wouldn’t believe,” Jake said, snuggling in under my neck.
“I feel like I never get any time with you, and how are we supposed to plan the wedding? I mean, we haven’t even picked a date yet.”
“Oh, I think the wedding plans will be more than covered with Mattie and your mother hanging around.”
I craned around to give him a look. He just grinned his movie star smile, which totally wasn’t fair since he knew I melted at the sight of it. “Seriously though, when are we going to get married? You’re so busy and I’m… well, sadly, I’m pretty much free indefinitely.” I slumped my arms to my sides, defeat washing over me.
“Hey,” Jake said, bolting up to sit beside me. “Why don’t you come with me?”
I crinkled my brow. “To Bali?”
He nodded enthusiastically.
“But it’s for three weeks. What about the wedding?”
He tilted his head. “Seriously Jose, there’s time. Like you said, we haven’t even picked a date yet. Besides, you said yourself that you loved what both Mattie and your mother were planning. Why not let them take care of the detailey stuff?”
“Did you just say detailey?” I grinned.
He shrugged. “I’m an actor, not a writer.”
“Well, I can’t just let them both plan a whole wedding.”
“Why not?”
“Uh, because it’s a waste of their time.”
He half-shrugged. “Only for one of them.”
My mouth dropped open. “And what about for the one we don’t choose? They’ll be completely heartbroken and probably never speak to me again!”
“I hate to tell you this, but I think the ship may have already sailed on that one. They already both think they’re doing it. The heartbreak will happen no matter what.” He leaned in conspiratorially. “What’s the harm in letting them plan just a little mo
re?”
“I can’t believe you would do that to them,” I said, leaning back a little.
“The question is,” he said, “would you do that to them?” He raised his eyebrows three times fast like we were cooking up a sneaky little secret.
Which I guess we were.
I leaned my head back. “How in the hell did I get to the point in my life where every little thing in my world requires some sort of stress-inducing, and probably life-altering decision? I am getting really, really tired of making decisions.”
“Hmm…” Jake said. “Sounds like somebody could use a little vacation, say in a place like, oh I don’t know, Bali?” He threw me the cheesiest of grins.
I smacked him playfully.
“Besides, if you’re tired of making decisions, let them keep planning. Just think of all the decisions they can make and you won’t have to worry about at all.”
I rolled my eyes.
“I know, I know, but didn’t you see them the other day? I mean, they may have been fighting, but they were both so giddy and excited they were about to burst. Do you really want to cut that short for either one of them?” He fluttered his eyelashes.
“Oh brother. Nice manipulation technique.”
He shrugged, smiling. “Tell me I’m not right though.”
I sighed. He actually did have a point. I mean, both Mattie and my mother could really put up a good fight. It was kind of what fueled each of them. And I had to admit, three weeks of soaking up nothing but sun and culture didn’t seem like such a bad thing. And really, how much more damage was three weeks going to do to Mom or Mattie? It’s not like jobs were falling at my feet at the moment or anything.
“So, what’s the weather like this time of year in Bali?” I asked innocently.
His smile widened. “I knew you’d come around. Maybe we can leave a couple days early and explore the island together. Get settled in.”
“Sounds like heaven,” I said, and settled deeper into the couch, Jake moving in close for our own little version of a celebration.
