by Skylar Hill
He kissed her, a soft, reassuring kiss that made her sink into him, her arms wrapping around his neck.
“I love you,” he said, nudging her nose with his as they parted. “Go. Have fun with Evie. Unwind. I’ll be waiting for you when you get home.”
She smiled. “Home,” she echoed, her smile turning sweeter. “I still love how that sounds.”
“I’ll always love how that sounds, as long as home’s with you,” he said, and it made her reach up on her tip toes and kiss him again.
“I love you too,” she whispered as the valet pulled her car up. “I’ll see you later.”
When he got back in the restaurant, Russ was on his phone, passing the time.
“She’s pretty stressed,” he commented as James sat back down.
“This is killing her, man,” James said, signaling to the waitress. “Can I get a whiskey, please?” he asked when she came over.
“Make that two, thanks,” Russ added.
The two of them had formed a friendship over this ordeal. They’d had Russ and his wife, Annie, over for dinner several times since their housewarming party, and they’d planned a couples weekend in wine country later this year. He liked Russ, how affable and good-natured he was. And he appreciated how much he supported Cam and wanted what was best for her and Evie. He knew he owed Russ Weston a great debt, since he was the one who’d taught both the Ellison women how to defend themselves, something Cam always said was a vital part of the healing process for her.
“I’m not sure what’ll happen if he gets out,” he confessed to Russ after the waitress had brought their drinks. “I’ve half a mind to whisk both of them off to Switzerland or somewhere he can’t find them.”
“If I thought she’d go for it, an extended vacation is exactly what I’d recommend,” Russ said. “But honestly, James? It’d just be putting off the problem.”
James sighed, swirling the amber-colored liquid in his glass before taking a sip. The bite of the whiskey felt good on his tongue. “I don’t know what to do,” he said finally. “I feel fucking useless. Like I’m treading water with sharks circling around, and she’s bleeding to death right in front of me.”
“This is tough,” Russ said. “While I haven’t been in this exact situation, I can say I’ve been in something similar.”
James raised an eyebrow. “Really?” he asked.
“It’s actually how Annie and I met,” Russ explained.
“I thought Cam introduced you to Annie.”
“She did,” Russ said. “But the reason why Cam introduced us was because Annie was being stalked. I had just started my firm back then. Annie’s case was one of Weston Security’s first jobs.”
“I had no idea,” James said. “Wow. So you fell in love with your client?”
“Totally unprofessional, I know,” Russ said with a rueful grin. “But she’s my soul mate. I couldn’t have stopped falling for her if I tried… and I did. For awhile.”
“I assume you caught her stalker.”
Russ nodded. “But some scary shit happened before we did. There was a really close call—the bastard had a knife to Annie’s throat.”
James went cold at the thought of the same thing happening to cam. “Fuck, Russ, I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Russ said. “Annie got out of there unscathed, and it’s been years now since it happened. But I do understand a little about what you’re going through. I had a whole security firm and all these resources at my fingertips, but I still felt helpless when Annie was being threatened. You’re a capable guy—the kind who gets stuff done, and if you don’t know how, you go figure it out. So it’s infuriating to have your hands tied by the system like this. Especially when the well-being of the woman you love is getting chipped away at, piece by piece, day by day.”
“I just see the weight of it bearing down on her,” James explained, worry sparking inside him. “She spends so much time working out, I’m worried she’s wearing herself out.”
“She’s preparing,” Russ said. “For what she sees as the inevitable”
“Which is… what? Him coming after her? Her protecting Evie? Herself?”
“Probably all of that,” Russ said. “Look, I’ve known the Ellison sisters for a long time. And I knew them when their trauma was still fresh. Evie was… different, when she was younger.”
James nodded. “Cam said.”
“She barely spoke, that whole first year,” Russ said. “I know that’s hard to believe, what with the way she is now… but God, she was afraid of her own shadow. It was heartbreaking. And Cam…”
“It’s different for her, than for Evie,” James said. “Evie had Cam for protection, at least. Cam had no one.”
Ross nodded, his expression solemn. “It’s very common, the oldest child takes on the protective role for both the abused parent and any siblings. Cam slid into that dynamic automatically, and her sense of responsibility deepened even more when she got custody of Evie.”
James could picture it, Cam at eighteen, so scared of doing something wrong, but so determined to do right by Evie. Her strength and dedication to her family was humbling. A testament to her mother and the woman she’d raised Cam to be. A slap in the face to the monster that was her father.
“I want to tear that fucker apart for what he did to them,” James confessed.
“I’m right there with you,” Russ said.
“The guy—the one who stalked your wife,” James said. “Did you… I mean, is he—“
“Still alive?” Russ supplied with a crooked tilt of his glass. “Yes. He’s in prison.”
“You were the one who caught him?” James asked, and Russ nodded. “Were you…I mean…” he didn’t even know what he was asking. He maybe shouldn’t have downed that entire glass of whiskey.
“The only thing that kept me from not ending that bastard was the fact that Annie needed me,” Russ said, his mouth a solemn line. “She needed me in her life and not doing time in prison for murder. I’m not going to lie to you, James. It’s a primal thing that rises inside when your woman is threatened in front of you. But her needs—and our future—were more important than every molecule in my body screaming to end him.” He regarded James over the whiskey glass. “You don’t want to be in that position, James. And I’m working as hard as I can to keep you and Cam from being anywhere near it.”
“I’m grateful for the insight,” James told him. “Especially from someone who’s been there.”
“It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, keeping my emotions in check while I was protecting Annie,” Russ said. “In a weird way, it taught me a lot about relationships. On how to prioritize your partner. And how to keep my ego in check.” He chuckled. “Annie would say that one still needs work.”
James smiled, tilting his glass back and forth, the ice cubes clinking. “What would you do if you were me?” he asked.
Russ sat back, his expression turning thoughtful. “I would trust the Ellison sisters,” he said. “I know Cam’s feeling insecure about her statement, but those two… they have a way of surprising you. Their strength, their spirit, their resilience… they’ve weathered the worst. And they’ll weather this, no matter what. Trust them. Be there for them. And don’t do anything stupid.” He shot James a warning glance. “Especially that last one. Trusting the system after it’s screwed you over is not ideal, I know. But if he gets out, working the system is our best chance of getting him back in prison where he belongs.”
“Isn’t that so fucked up?” James asked, almost to himself.
“But I’m serious, James,” Russ said. “No heroics. No going after him if he gets out. If he shows up in Oregon, you call the cops. He’ll be back in jail for violating parole, and your problems will be solved.”
“Right,” James said. “No going after him if he gets out.”
After he and Russ had another drink, he paid for lunch, and they parted ways. As James booked the plane tickets on his phone, he told himself technicall
y he wasn’t violating any sort of promise.
He said he wouldn’t go after Keith if he got out.
He hadn’t said anything to Russ about going after Keith was he was still in prison.
Chapter Eight
Cam
“Are you sure it’s okay for me to be down here?” Cam asked, looking nervously around the lab. Everything about the room intimidated her—it was so clean and sterile, and there were glass test tubes and containers everywhere. But crammed in the corner was a desk, overflowing with stacks of paper and a bulletin board nailed above it.
“It’s fine,” Evie assured her, barely looking up from the microscope. Cam moved further into the room, drawn to the bulletin board.
She knew this had been James’ father’s private lab—Aiden was letting Evie use it for her senior project. And apparently it had been left fairly untouched before Evie had practically moved in.
The bulletin board had photos pinned to it: photos of James and Aiden as boys; one of James and Lydia, no more than ten or eleven, dressed up for Halloween and clutching plastic orange pumpkin pails. A teenage James staring bashfully into the camera, a little awkward and gangly, not yet grown into his height. In the center of the board, there was a photo of a blonde woman who looked a lot like Aiden standing with her arms wrapped around an enormous redwood tree. She recognized James’s mother, Lena, but she was so young in this picture, her long braids and beaming smile making her look even younger.
Cam’s eyes lingered on the corner of the board, where a ragged piece of notebook paper was pinned. All that was written on it, in fading pencil, was I love you and was signed L, the letter enclosed in a little heart. She reached out, her fingers tracing over the edge of the torn piece of paper, her heart squeezing. She wondered how old the note was, how long Jacob McGowan had kept it pinned to this board, a sweet reminder from his wife, a touch of home in his lab, while he worked long hours. She wondered if Lena, James’s mother, had been down here since Jacob’s death. If she even knew about this little collage that spoke of how much Jacob loved his family.
“I don’t touch any of the stuff on the desk,” Evie said, startling her out of her reverie. Her sister had finally pulled herself away from her project and was standing behind her. “I didn’t want to ask Aiden if he wanted me to box it up. I don’t think he comes down here very much.”
The time that Cam had spent with both the McGowan brothers had taught her that they’d dealt with their father’s death very differently. It made sense, since they were such different men, not to mention that Aiden had the added responsibility of taking over the company. Cam knew how grateful James was for his brother. She admired that about James—he readily admitted that running the family company wasn’t for him, and made sure everyone knew how much he appreciated everything his brother did for Green Valley. Many men who would be jealous or competitive with what Aiden had achieved, Cam knew. Even she had had twinges of envy, sometimes, when she marveled at how quickly and sharply her own sibling’s mind worked compared to her own. But James was someone who was confident in his own incredible talent, in his own abilities and his own successes. And he was someone who was genuinely happy for his loved ones when they succeeded.
She loved that about this man. Loved how the core of him was about celebrating people, through art, through his work, through building Exile Ink as a creative community.
“How’s your project going?” she asked as Evie pulled up a stool for her near the lab table and she sat down across from her sister.
“Great!” Evie said. “I’m making good progress.”
“You still don’t want to tell me what it is?”
Evie had been positively mysterious about her senior project. Cam had been trying to respect it and her whole process, because Evie could be touchy about that sort of thing. But considering her sister was just starting her senior year, the curiosity was killing her.
“Not yet,” Evie said. “Anyway, it’s not going to be ready until February at least. There are multiple components.”
They fell silent, and Cam bit her lip, not knowing what to say. The hearing was looming over them, the minutes ticking down until they were face to face with their father again. Every time she thought about seeing him, being in the same room, she felt a spike of panic, an instinctual, primal scream inside her that said run.
“Aiden said you’ve been spending a lot of time in here.”
Evie shrugged. “I’m trying to make as much progress as I can before midterms. And I’ve been avoiding everyone.” She shrugged when Cam shot her a surprised look. “I told you I wasn’t going to go all turtle on you again, but I guess I did.”
“All turtle?” Cam echoed, confused.
“You know, retreating in my shell?” Evie said, gesturing around the lab.
It was an apt way to put it. “I know this is hard…” Cam started, and then she stopped, pressing her lips together in a thin line. She felt like she just kept saying that, over and over. “This is a nightmare,” she said finally. “And you and I… we’re the only ones who really get it. No matter how much the people who love us try to understand.”
“Yeah,” Evie said. “Jess is all freaked out for me. And I appreciate it. But I just… I don’t know what to say to her to make her feel better.”
Cam reached out and squeezed her sister’s shoulder, loving her for her empathy. “Jess is your best friend,” she said. “All she needs from you is for you to prioritize yourself. She’s freaking out because she’s worried about you. She doesn’t want you to worry about her on top of all this.”
“I know,” Evie sighed. “This all just… this is my idea of hell.” She looked at Cam, her blue-gray eyes honest and open. “For the longest time, that day… that was hell. It was where I went every time I closed my eyes. Every time I was scared, every time I saw a man who looked like him, and I was right back in that living room and Mom was dead and the barrel of his gun was pressing into my forehead.” She touched her temple almost unconsciously. There was the faintest scar there, one that you had to look for to see against Evie’s pale skin. “And now…” she looked up at the ceiling, like she was praying for strength. “Now hell is the idea of him getting out, walking free, like she didn’t even matter.”
“She did matter,” Cam said fiercely. “And we’re going to make sure the probation board knows it.”
“Damn right,” Evie said. “Sheila said my statement was very effective. How’s it going with you two?”
Cam could feel herself going pink with shame as she lied. “Good. I’m just putting the finishing touches on it.”
“Good,” Evie said… and there it was, that awkward silence again. They had spent so much time talking about this in the last month, preparing for it, that their entire lives had revolved around it. She hated that. Hated that protecting themselves from Keith had once again become the center of her world. It was like being a teenager again, terrified all the time, always on edge, never fully relaxing, because any second he might come for them.
“Okay, this sucks,” Evie announced abruptly. “Come on.” She reached over the lab table and grabbed her purse. “We’re going to go get pizza.”
It sounded better than any other option Cam could come up with, so she followed Evie out of the lab and onto the sidewalk. The sun was beginning to set as they made their way down the street.
“There’s a place on the corner,” Evie said, leading her to a tiny brick building, barely any stoop, that smelled like a garlicky heaven.
Evie bought their slices as Cam grabbed a table, and by the time her sister set the enormous slice of sausage and pepperoni in front of her, her mouth was watering. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was.
“We’re going to talk like normal human beings who don’t have this crap hanging over us,” Evie said determinedly, taking a huge bite of her vegetarian pizza. “How’s the studio coming along?”
“I have six months of appointments booked already,” Cam said. “And more than half of them are
new clients.”
Evie’s jaw dropped. “Cammie!” she said excitedly. “That’s amazing!”
It was. Granted, James had something like a three-year waiting list already, but she wasn’t expecting that sort of desire for her work. She was just starting to build her name and brand, but she also hadn’t expected the excitement her work stirred when the Exile Ink site went up. After doing the guest stint with Tasha a few weeks ago, her Instagram had blown up when the watercolor pinup girl tattoo they’d done together had gone viral. She hadn’t been thinking much about it because she’d been so stressed about everything else. But it was thrilling to get so many comments about her work and inquiries about appointments and custom-designed pieces.
“I’m really excited,” Cam confessed. “And the party for the opening is going to be incredible. Lydia has outdone herself.”
“I can’t wait,” Evie said. “Have you decided what you’re going to wear?”
Cam shook her head.
Evie quirked an eyebrow. “Seriously? You love clothes! We should go shopping for something new. I’m thinking something sparkly, but classy.”
“I’ll probably just wear one of the dresses I have,” Cam said. “I don’t want to spend too much money just in case…” she trailed off, looking down at her pizza crust, sighing.
“What? In case we have to flee in the night?” Evie asked.
Cam shook her head. “If he gets out, I’m not running from him,” she said firmly, looking up to meet her sister’s eyes. “I will never let him hurt you again,” she said, reaching over the table and grabbing Evie’s hand. “But I’m not going to run. It’s not fair. Not to you. Not to me.”
“Not to James,” Evie added.
Cam opened her mouth to protect, but then she stopped herself, because Evie was right. “Not to James,” she agreed.
“James would come looking for you if we ran, anyway,” Evie said. “He wouldn’t rest until he found you.”
Cam could feel her cheeks heat up, because once again, Evie was right. Sometimes, after a particularly hard day, when things became a little too much, they would fall into bed together and have the kind of sex she could only describe as possessive—on both their parts. When soft, luxurious touches weren’t enough, when he whispered words like mine and forever against her skin as he thrust into her. When promises like never gonna let you go and I want you like this forever floated in the air.
