The priests moved about the room without even a glance in his direction. When one approached Azalea, he felt the breath catch in his throat, but he relaxed as she waved him off without incident. For a moment, Ean thought about taking a seat in a pew on the opposite side of the room as the Yulari. Their bond was sending him a mixture of frustration, curiosity, and hurt. It was the third emotion that made him decide to move to her side.
Azalea was leaning forward, elbows on her knees, and attention on the altar and statue ahead of her. When Ean sat down next to her, she barely turned her head to glance at him before returning her attention to the front of the room. Ean was about to open his mouth and say something . . . until he realized he had no idea what to say. So instead he leaned back in the pew and closed his eyes as his mind searched for ideas on how to fix things.
As the moments crawled by and nothing came to mind, the silence of the room that had seemed so peaceful now only added to the awkwardness he felt towards the Yulari. Surprisingly, it was Azalea that spoke first.
"You know," she whispered. "There is no religion in the Abyss. Those smart enough know that Ze'an created all of us. If I understand humans, that would make him worthy of praise and adoration."
She paused for a moment as an old man shuffled past them down the center aisle.
"But our 'creator' placed us in the Abyss, a less than friendly world, and left us on our own. No set of beliefs. No moral code. Most don't even believe we have what you would consider a soul. Naturally, it didn't take long for the most powerful creatures to subjugate the weaker ones. They established themselves as the rulers of whatever land they could snatch up and hold onto.
My kind are strong, Ean, as well as intelligent and great manipulators. But the Yulari are like children compared to the power and ruthlessness of the strongest races like the Nar'Grim. After centuries of either slavery, fighting to not become a slave, or conniving and manipulating others to hold on to whatever power we can keep from slipping through our fingers . . . "—she let out a sigh—" . . . it’s hard to thank someone for that kind of life. Even if it’s a deity."
"Azalea . . . I'm sorry--"
"You're not sorry!" she snapped, finally looking him in the eyes. It was only for a moment, but before she dropped her eyes he caught a pain behind her dark green eyes that touched him to the core. "At least, you're not sorry for the right reasons."
"Then tell me," he pleaded.
"You need to be stronger--"
"Azalea, I don't want to be a tyrant."
"Just shut up and listen to me for once. Fine, you don't want to conquer this land. I'll never understand why, and I'll keep suggesting it, but I've accepted that it’s not who you are at the moment. And believe it or not, I like who you are and I'm not about to try and change you into something you're not. But you need to be stronger as a leader. You need to make the tough decisions and be willing to kill to keep the people that rely on you safe. To keep yourself safe."
"Azalea, if you're talking about what happened with the Seeker, I wouldn't have let her kill you--"
"But you let her go free, Ean," she grasped his hand in hers so fast he almost flinched away. “Free to come back and kill you. A fanatic like that doesn't care if you spare her life, doesn't care how many people you help, and probably wouldn't even care if you destroyed the Abyss itself. She, and the others like her, will hunt you down and kill you no matter what you do. And if you die, everyone you freed from life in the Abyss is sent right back."
"Azalea, I admit I never thought of it like that, but I can't become . . . killing is not something . . . "
"You don't want to become like Zin's old master."
"How do you--"
"I'm observant. I pay attention to the questions you ask, how you focus in on a conversation whenever the topic of the Plague and its cause comes up . . . " She paused a moment to bite her lip before continuing on. "And I feel your emotions spike all over the place while you sleep. You dream about it, don't you? Becoming some ruthless monster."
"Yes."
“I want you strong, so people don’t take advantage of you. I’ve lived under the control of ruthless tyrants, oppressed and afraid more often than not. You deserve a better kind of life than that. As do I, Jaan, Dao, and even Zin. You see, I have come to believe that a man can be a powerful leader without turning into a monster. Since meeting you, Ean Sangrave, for the first time in my life, I have hope in the future, because I think you can be that man.”
And that’s when Ean finally understood the Yulari. He had let Zin's opinions of her entire race distort everything she had ever said into a manipulation of him to become this dictator of the realm. All she really wanted, all any of the creatures he had freed really wanted, was freedom. Not just freedom. They wanted to be able to live without the fear of returning to the Abyss. Being the Zekar, as the Crux called him, wasn't simply about being the person that ordered them around and made strategic decisions. In their culture as far as he understood it, the level of praise and adoration a Zekar would receive depended on how many warriors returned home after a battle. The real reason the Crux followed him was because he was the one person they believed could keep them from a life of servitude in the Abyss. He had treated them with dignity, and they hoped to hold onto that. Clarity melted Ean’s annoyance with the moody Yulari into empathy.
"Azalea, I'm sorry." Her eyes narrowed but when she opened her mouth to respond Ean squeezed her hand and let the rest of his words rush out. "I'm sorry that I've put my own desires above that of our people."
Azalea's mouth snapped shut. All of the annoyance and anger Ean had been feeling through their bond vanished, replaced instead by a sense of relief, of all things.
"I understand now," he continued. "What it means to be in charge. I have to start thinking about the safety of all of us. A threat to me is a threat to everyone connected to me, and vice-versa. From now on, I'll try to put the good of--"
Ean paused as a young couple took a seat on the other side of Azalea. Glancing around, Ean realized that the temple had almost filled up. He had been so focused on his conversation with Azalea that he hadn't realized how many people had arrived. Most had their heads bowed in silence or were mouthing silent words towards the altar up front while others entered without a sound.
"Maybe we should wait–" he began, but then stopped as a chorus of loud bells began to ring inside the room. Even louder than the bells was a thunderous grinding sound behind them. Turning, Ean watched as the giant temple doors slid to a close.
"Ean . . . there are too many people . . . "
Azalea was half out of her seat, her body crouched low while she kept an iron-tight grip on Ean's hand. Her eyes were wide and trying to look in every direction at once. Terror flowed through their bond from the Yulari.
"Azalea, it’s ok--"
"Why are the doors closed?" Her words tumbled from her mouth. "They've caught us, haven't they? All of these people. They are all here to get us."
"They are just here for service . . . I think . . . " Ean tried to send as much support through their bond as he could, but the fear coming back from Azalea was overwhelming it. "We'll just sit quietly and wait--"
"No, no, no," she was getting progressively louder with each word, "we have to attack first. Make them fear us . . . "
Azalea wasn't at the point where she was yelling, but those sitting around them were starting to look nervous. Ean tried grabbing her other hand, but she swatted it away and pulled her hand free from his grip. Switching tactics, Ean placed both hands on her shoulders and then down her arms to rub them.
"Let's move somewhere towards the back. We can talk about this . . . " Ean glanced around and found worried looks in the faces of more and more people. On the opposite end of their pew, two robed priests were moving down the side aisle towards them. He needed to do something to placate her. "We can figure out a way to defend ourselves . . . "
"Yes . . . get our backs to a wall . . . we can see them coming . . . "
"Yes, that’s smart." Her voice had dropped to barely a whisper. "Get the drop on them instead of the other way around. Let's move."
Azalea pushed past Ean and into the center aisle. Ean glanced at the two priests at the other end of the pew. They were standing there, eyes locked on the Yulari as she moved towards the back of the room, but they weren't moving after her. That was something, at least. The last thing he wanted was to get in a fight in Kaz'ren's temple. He already had one god's followers out to get him. Adding to that list, especially when it was a goddess that had helped him in the past, would certainly not bode well for his future.
Making his way down the aisle, Ean followed Azalea to the back of the room. The Yulari was leaning against the door, her eyes darting about as she took in deep breaths. When Ean reached her, he placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm . . . a little better. I don't feel surrounded by these . . . humans any more. The door refuses to budge, though. We are trapped in here."
"I guess we're going to find a little religion then." Ean gave a half-hearted laugh. "I've never been to a major service before."
"I'm not sitting back down . . . amongst all of those . . . " she gave a shudder.
"It’s ok. We'll stay here."
"Thank you."
Ean gently guided Azalea away from the door and towards a spot near the back wall. They settled in, backs against the wall, and waited. Azalea sidled up close to Ean's side until their shoulders were touching, and then seemed to relax against him. Her eyes still darted about, but the sense of terror that had been flowing through their bond like a flood had diminished to a steady trickle.
Knowing his companion would be ok, Ean let his attention travel to the front of the room. Azalea might be worried about what was going on, but it was curiosity that had taken hold of Ean's mind. Having grown up in Rottwealth most of his life, he had never been to an actual service, and certainly not in one of the main temples. In Rottwealth, the villagers had tiny busts of the deities they prayed to in their homes. There was also a small shrine to the duel god/goddess of the harvest and seasons, GanZroe, but as a healer, Ean had never needed to visit it to pray on his own.
Now, he had the chance to see a full service to one of the most worshipped deities in the land. Judging by the packed pews of people, Ean imagined a service to be an extravagant affair. He couldn't wait to see how a full service for Kaz'ren properly paid homage to the goddess.
Chapter 15
Ean wasn't sure how long they had been in the temple since the service had started, but he was struggling to stay awake.
Ahead of him, behind the altar to the goddess, an old man stood in a robe similar to the other priests but with golden intricate designs. The wrinkles of age painted his face, and he wore a tightly trimmed beard that was pure white. He had his arms raised as he addressed the congregation.
" . . . and so, Kaz'ren built the Endless Tombs, to forever house the empty shells of the departed. As in many things, the reasons for her desire to house the dead are her own. Even the first Voice was not told the importance behind the Endless Tombs. But we all can find peace traveling its hallways to visit our ancestors and . . . "
Ean let out a sigh as the man droned on.
"Shhhh," Azalea whispered. "I want to listen."
"You actually find this interesting?"
"Don't you? This is your people's history. Or have you heard this too many times before?"
"No, this is the first time I've heard it . . . "
"Really? Hmmmm . . . "
"Yes, I've never been--"
"Then be quiet and listen." To emphasize her point, she placed a finger to his lips.
Ean complied. They were stuck here anyway, so there wasn't anything he could do but listen and wait.
" . . . and our ancestors were beaten back time and again by the Shadaer Umdaer. The savage beasts enslaved many innocent people in their wake. Murdered countless more, whether they were warriors and soldiers, or farmers, women, or children. They burned every small settlement south of Lake Melcoi, destroyed everything until the only thing remaining was burnt ashes and soil."
The older man grew silent and placed his hands to his face. When he placed them down on the altar, Ean could see tears flowing from the man's eyes.
"So many souls were lost . . . " His voice was hoarse as he continued, and his body gave little shudders. "Bodies burned before the souls could be released to Kaz'ren's care. Those that were not killed were taken as slaves. They died in the savages’ lands, their spirits trapped in their bodies . . . never to return home . . . "
"And yet the followers of Drenks now trade with those beasts." Anger touched the man's voice now and his fingers curled around the front of the altar as he leaned forward. "Drenks, a god some of you also offer your prayers to. Drenk's people have done NOTHING to ensure the return of the bodies of those that passed. And it’s not just the dead that remain trapped there. Even now, hundreds of years later after the Melcoi Peace Treaty was signed, human slaves still remain down in the south."
"The temples of Drenks and Alistar deny this fact, keeping you focused instead on your fears of the Abyss so that your thoughts don't turn south. The other temples keep their heads down, worrying about their own ideas and not of those stranded in Umdaer lands. They all speak of peace and tolerance, even for those Umdaer that live among us as farmers and shopkeepers. Kaz'ren cannot afford to be tolerant while souls belonging to both the living and the dead, are not freed from the south. Her patience runs thin with the other temples, as should yours. It is more than likely that many of your ancestors can be counted among those souls that are unable to return home. Make a stand!"
"There will be no collection of tithes today. Hold tight to your money. All that Kaz'ren asks is that if you do find yourself in the temple of Drenks, or any of the other temples, that you withhold your offerings from them as well. Tell the minor priests why. Let them know that those lost to us are more important than a few coins. Make them . . . "
"Well," Azalea whispered, leaning close to Ean. "Now it has turned to politics. How boring."
"You find history interesting but politics boring?"
"A history that contains more than simply being created by a god is interesting. How your race grows, changes, adapts; that is interesting. Your temples arguing and bickering over things is no different from the creatures that hold power in the Abyss plotting and scheming against each other. I've lived that life for . . . a good number of years. Humans are amateurs when it comes to politics compared to the creatures from my home."
"It doesn't matter. I have enough to worry about without trying to get mixed up in the politics of this world or yours. I already have one deity trying to kill me. I don't need to anger any more of them."
"A wise move, oh fearless leader. Let's just stick to worrying about your little part of the world."
Glancing up at the front of the room, Ean found the head priest still deep in his fervor.
"Which we can do as soon as this service ends. If we're lucky, when these doors open, Dao will be waiting outside for us with the supplies. Then we can get back on the road."
"And away from all of these people."
"Agreed."
Ean leaned his shoulder against Azalea's and gave her hand a pat. She had noticeably calmed down from her outburst, but he could still feel the fear and tension flowing through their bond. And joining those emotions now . . . was that anxiousness?
"I'm sorry that I'm such a mess."
Ean glanced at her to see if she had her usual smirk. The Yulari had her head bowed and eyes closed.
"Azalea, you shouldn't feel bad about one little panic attack--"
"Don't patronize me, Ean," she said, her tone more pained than accusatory. "You know I've lost it around people more than once. You might have been . . . gone . . . when they happened, but I'm sure the imp told you about th
em."
"He did, but I understand why it happens. What that man did to you . . . taking your wings . . . it doesn't matter if you are human–"
"I'm not human . . . "
"Or Yulari, or anything else. Something like that would mess with any mind."
"I've been through worse . . . "
"Azalea. You don't have to be tough when it’s just the two of us. There is no one here you need to impress or intimidate. It’s just you and me. Nothing wrong with having a moment of weakness. You can be--"
"Weak?"
"Human."
"That's what I said. Weak."
"Azalea . . . "
"Just shut up. I know what you are saying. My kind is not exactly good at sharing our feelings. We spend most of our time trying to feed off the feelings of others. But for you . . . "
She paused for a moment, lifting her head to look Ean in the eyes. The candlelight of the room danced around her emerald green eyes.
"Ean. Tell me I'm not just some weapon for you to use. Tell me I'm not just another creature tied to you for your protection."
"You know you’re not!" Ean hadn't meant to yell it. Ahead of him, heads turned to look back. Dropping his head, he tried to will the people in the pews to turn back around.
"You're family," Ean whispered once he had regained his composure. "You're just as important to me as Zin."
"That's not a compliment."
"Not in the same way. Zin has been my friend for over a decade. But when it comes to looking out for me, I trust you in the same way that I trust him."
"That I can take as a compliment." Azalea entwined her arms around Ean's right arm and laid her head on his shoulder. "Enough of this human talk. Let's have a few moments of peace. Just the two of us."
"Alright."
For whatever reason, her presence, cozied up against him, had a soothing affect. He wasn't worrying about the trip ahead of them, the Seekers, what was going on back in Rottwealth. All he felt were goosebumps as her fingernails gently brushed against his shirt. The only thing he focused on was the feeling of contentment flowing through their bond. When they had been back at home, Ean had always been running around trying to get things settled, or learning how to fight and be a leader. Azalea had always been in his ear, but they had spent very little time together in a relaxed atmosphere. Even their time traveling before had left them with few opportunities to get to know each other. It was strange, but despite all of that, he had been genuine when he had said he trusted her completely.
Enemies and Allies (Bound to the Abyss Book 3) Page 12
