by J. H. Croix
Quinn loomed in her mind, and she beat back the urge to call him. She’d moved past her silly pride, but he’d kept his distance. Now, she was wondering if he felt anywhere close to the way she did. If he could so easily step back, it was hard to believe he did. As for her, damn it all, she was full bore in love with him. His absence sharpened her longing. Each day that passed, she missed him even more. Her realization about her feelings had come in a flash when he’d sent another one of his friendly, casual texts. She was coming to despise how hard he was trying to normalize things between them when all she wanted was to dive back to where they’d been.
Um, is now the time to obsess about Quinn? It’s snowing, it’s winter, it’s dark and your car’s in a ditch. Maybe you should call someone.
Lacey laughed aloud with no one but her to hear. Her laugh quieted as quickly as it came. She should call someone. There was only one person she wanted to call and that was Quinn. Yet, even if she’d managed to get over it and admit her feelings to herself, she wasn’t feeling great about seeing him like this. It seemed like he’d been bailing her out of a few too many situations lately. Emotion welled inside and a tear rolled down her cheek, followed by another and another. In the muted quiet of her car with the snow and wind blowing around her, her phone squawked like a crow. She’d changed her ringer to that after watching Holly’s glee at a pair of crows calling to each other while they swooped in the sky outside the windows at the lodge.
She fished her phone out of her pocket and answered without glancing at the screen.
“Hello?”
“Lace, it’s Quinn. I stopped by your place and noticed you weren’t home yet. I, uh, guess I was just calling to make sure you were okay.”
As soon as he spoke, her heart started pounding wildly in her chest and flutters twirled in her belly. A pang shot through her entire being. She missed him so, so much.
She must’ve been quiet a few beats too long because he spoke again. “Lace, you there?”
Her heart clenched at the nickname he used for her. Even before she’d walked into the fire of desire between them and fallen so deep into love with him, he’d been the only person to ever call her Lace. She mentally pulled herself together. “I’m here.”
“You sound funny. Is everything okay?”
She almost burst into laughter and tears at once. Everything was so not okay. She’d been too prideful to face her feelings and pushed him away. She needed to make it right, but she didn’t know how and she was terrified to find out he might not return her feelings. Yet, there were more immediate issues to address, namely the fact she wasn’t going anywhere soon unless someone came to get her.
“If being stuck in a ditch in the snow counts as okay, I’m fine,” she replied, dredging up a sliver of wry humor.
“Where are you?” he asked quickly, his voice all business.
She told him where she was and bit back a sigh. Once again, Quinn would come to her rescue. Once again, he insisted she stay on the phone while he drove to find her.
“You keep making me do that. I’m not sure it’s smart for you to drive while you’re on the phone.”
“It’s on speaker,” he countered. “Anyway, how the hell did you end up in a ditch?”
For a second, she considered glossing over what happened because her leg was already feeling more normal, the way it had the first time she got this weakness in it when they were hiking. But she didn’t want to lie to him because even if she felt embarrassed and not too comfortable having to lean on him for help again, it went against her grain to try to pretend something else happened. She took a deep breath and rushed through her explanation.
He was quiet for a long moment, so long she got worried. “Now it’s my turn to ask if you’re there,” she said into the silence.
“Right here. Trying not to worry too much and wondering why the hell you haven’t been in to see Dr. Marshall. You know, there are things that could help prevent these blips you’re having.”
She could hear the tightness in his voice and feel his concern straight through the phone line. Her heart set to banging inside her chest, hope drumming out its wishes with every beat. She forced herself to stay focused and gripped the phone tightly in her hand. Right now, the phone was her connection to Quinn and she was hanging on for dear life. “I know. I meant to get into see her, but I just haven’t. I don’t have any good excuses.” She paused and took a breath, fighting the tears pressing hot against the back of her eyes. “I haven’t been able to focus on much of anything except that I miss you. I miss you so much,” she blurted out on a sob, her words escaping of their own volition.
He was dead silent for a moment, long enough for her to wish she could’ve kept her mouth shut.
“Hard to believe you miss me as much as I miss you,” he finally said, his voice gruff.
Her heart soared and the tears she’d been holding at bay rolled freely down her cheeks. “I don’t know,” she said with a hiccup. “I’ve missed you an awful lot. This missing thing sucks.”
His chuckle curled around her heart, easing its ache. “Damn right it does.” The line crackled. “Hang on.” His voice went in and out and then came through clear again. “Just rounded that curve on the hill where the reception disappears. I’m almost there.”
Within a minute, she saw headlights on the road above the dip of the ditch. After another minute, she heard his footsteps through the snow and his face appeared at her window. She turned her car off and tucked the keys in her pocket. Quinn opened the door, and she almost burst into tears again. His eyes scanned her. When they landed back on her face, he leaned forward and caught her lips in a kiss. Although it was a decidedly unromantic situation, one kiss from him and she almost melted right then and there. By the time he pulled back, her entire body was flexing toward him.
“Okay, we need to get you out of here.”
He didn’t even give her a chance to try to walk. He slipped an arm under her hips and carefully eased her into his arms. Once upon a time, she would have argued against this. Right now, it felt too good to be close to him. She relaxed into his hold and looped her arms around his shoulders.
Quinn slowly came awake and opened his eyes. It was still dark, but the moon shimmered outside and cast its light across the bed, limning Lacey’s shoulder with a silvery glow. She was curled against him, her legs tangled with his. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Coming home with her had been a slice of heaven, while all that had happened was they’d had leftover pizza and watched television. He hadn’t been up for much more talking, and she seemed to have been on the same wavelength. He’d insisted she call Dr. Marshall who had agreed it wasn’t necessary for Lacey to come in since the weakness and tingling in her leg had resolved itself quickly this time. Lacey had scheduled the follow up appointment she’d been putting off for tomorrow. He rolled his head to glance at the clock on the nightstand—just past two in the morning, so no longer tomorrow, but today.
He closed his eyes, mentally replaying the moment when she’d told him she’d missed him. That’s all he’d needed to hear to obliterate the temporary barriers he’d been trying to erect around his heart. He couldn’t help but open his eyes again. He needed to see her. Even in the smudgy darkness of her bedroom with nothing but a dusting of light, she was so beautiful, his heart caught. He couldn’t help but stroke his palm down her side, tracing the dip at her waist and the curve of her hip. Her skin was so soft. Funny, but until he’d been intimate with her, considering her soft in any way hadn’t crossed his mind. She was all strength and verve, which had drawn him to her to begin with. Yet, now he was glad to know the softness she carried within. His body hummed, reminding him that he more than appreciated every inch of her soft curves, all the more tempting in contrast to her fit body.
Her breathing altered slightly and she shifted in her sleep, her leg sliding against his. His body tightened, his cock instantly hard. He was determined not to disturb her sleep, so he forced himself to breathe slowly and t
ried to get a grip on his body. When she moved again and mumbled something into his shoulder, he almost groaned aloud. She lifted her head, her hair a messy tousle around her face. Her eyes locked to his in the dimness. He held his breath, willing himself to keep his body under control. She lifted a hand and traced his lips. The coil of need tightened within him. He waited, barely breathing with his heart drumming and lust coursing through him.
Her fingertip traced down along his neck to follow the line of his collarbone and over his shoulder. Fire flashed in the wake of her feather light touch. Her eyes had followed her tracing, but they flicked back to his.
“I missed you,” she whispered, her voice rough with sleep.
The raw vulnerability in her words struck at his heart. He brushed her hair away from her face and pushed up on one elbow. “Missed you too.” He watched her as she blinked, almost as if she wasn’t sure of his words. He threaded his hand into her hair and rose to meet her lips.
He’d show her just how much he missed her. He captured her lips and tugged her closer. She didn’t hesitate, half laying across his chest. The glide of her tongue against his sent the lust pounding through him in a wild beat. The air around them exploded with heat—their kiss as if oxygen to a fire. He poured weeks of longing into their kiss, stroking deeply into her mouth, savoring how she met him stroke for stroke. She tore her lips away and rose up to straddle him. He glanced up to see her silhouetted in the moonlight. Her hair fell in a tangle around her shoulders. Her breasts were outlined in the thin tank top she wore, her nipples taut against the fabric. He could feel her wet heat against his cock through her panties and his briefs. He couldn’t stop from subtly lifting his hips and savored her gasp.
He slipped his hands under the hem of her tank stop, slowly sliding them up, the fabric bunching as he pushed it up over her breasts. She caught it with one hand and flung it aside. Without waiting, he leaned forward and swirled his tongue around a nipple, rolling the other between his thumb and forefinger. A sharp cry broke from her as he switched his attention to her other breast, tracing damp circles on her skin where his mouth had been. Her breath came in broken gasps and breathy whimpers. Her hips rolled against him, tightening the need inside to the point he thought he might explode.
Suddenly, she shifted her hips back and tugged his briefs down. His cock sprang free, and she curled a hand around him, leaning forward to draw him in her mouth. His breath came out in a rough groan as he grappled to hang onto a thin thread of control. He was so close to the edge and so frantic for her, he could barely hold on as she dragged her tongue along the underside of his cock and took him fully in her mouth.
“Lace, come here…”
He barely managed to choke out the words. She rose, her eyes pinned to him. He tugged her roughly forward, shoving the scrap of silk between her thighs out of the way and delving his fingers into her folds. She was so wet, he almost came at the feel of her. He dragged his fingers out and positioned his cock at her entrance. She didn’t wait for him and lifted her hips slightly before sinking down on top of him, taking him deep inside of her. He looked up at her to find her eyes on him. Stroking a palm down her back, he eased her forward. With her breasts brushing against his chest, they slowly rocked together. He brushed a hand through her hair, his palm sliding down to cradle the side of her face. Her body started to ripple. She went taut and cried out, her channel convulsing around him, drawing his own release out—a long, slow arc of pleasure so intense, he shook to his core.
Lacey collapsed against him with her head falling to his shoulder as she curled into his arms. Stunned, he simply lay there as his heart gradually slowed and he could manage a breath. He idly sifted his fingers through her hair. She lifted her head, her eyes finding his in the dim light. The moonlight glimmered on her cheek, illuminating a tear. His chest tightened.
“Lace, are you okay?”
She nodded and took a breath. “More than okay. Maybe a little too good,” she said, her voice raspy.
“Ah, well then I guess it’s good to know I’m not alone.”
A smile curled her lips and another tear rolled down her cheek, glittering in the moonlight. The moment felt so raw and intimate, his heart felt split wide open.
Chapter 20
Lacey stood beside the kitchen counter and looked out over the field behind her cabin. Snow had blanketed the landscape during the night. She curled her hands around her coffee mug, savoring the warmth. A sip of the dark, delicious brew reminded her Quinn was here. Her efforts to match his coffee never met the mark. She heard footsteps on the stairs and turned to find him walking downstairs. He grinned, that easy grin she’d known for forever. She felt his smile right through to her toes. He walked straight to her and dipped his head to catch her lips in a quick kiss before stepping past her to pour his own cup of coffee.
The tiny moment sent flutters twirling through her, and her heart gave a little kick. A sense of pure relief washed through her. Quinn was here, with her, again. She slipped onto a stool beside the counter and watched while he poured maple syrup over the pancakes she’d made for him while he showered. He sat across from her and dug in. After several moments of sustained eating, he paused and glanced up.
“I was starving,” he said, his mouth curling in another grin.
“I noticed,” she replied, her own grin pretty much plastered on her face this morning.
“What time do you need to go into the office?”
His eyes flicked to the clock on the wall behind her. “First appointment at nine. I already texted Donna I might be a few minutes behind. I want to get the deck cleared of snow before I leave. I was thinking I could pull your car out of the ditch myself if you can wait until this afternoon. Up to you. Today’s Donna’s short day, so I’m free after noon.” He paused, his eyes considering. When he spoke again, his tone was carefully neutral. “If you want me to go to your appointment with Dr. Marshall, I’d…”
“Please come with me,” she said, jumping in. Over the last few weeks, her brain had nearly tied itself in knots, but one thing had become painfully clear. Quinn’s support had held her together at times when she would’ve fallen apart in the last few months. She was done fighting against how much she wanted to allow herself to need him. She knew she could face all of this on her own, but she didn’t want to push him away for the sake of proving that silly point. She wasn’t sure how she’d incorporate this need into the relentlessly independent soul she’d defined herself as, but she would find a way.
His eyes widened at her abrupt interruption. After a moment, he nodded. “Okay then. How about I pick you up after I’m done at work? We’ll go see Dr. Marshall and then deal with your car. Can you wait until this afternoon for your car?”
“Oh yeah. My office is home in the winter.”
He nodded and eyed her again before taking a swallow of coffee. “Dr. Marshall’s probably gonna want to talk to you about monitoring so you don’t have another incident like yesterday.”
The sense of anxiety threaded with panic that she’d felt on and off ever since she crashed to the ground in Katmai rose within. She took a breath and reminded herself she could manage this. She looked into his eyes and nodded. “I know. Maybe it seems like I was avoiding all this, but I guess I was trying to get used to it. There’s that and then you.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, you. I’m not used to relying on anyone other than myself.” She shook her head. “That’s true, but it’s not what I mean right now. I’m not used to missing someone so much it hurt. I got all twisted up inside my brain because you were my friend and then, well, all kinds of stuff happened that I never expected.” Her heart was beating wildly in her chest. She hadn’t meant to say all this, but the words were tumbling out, as if frantic on their own to be heard. When she looked into his gaze, her anxiety eased. She slowly set her coffee cup on the counter and slipped off her stool to round the counter.
Without a word, he spun to meet her and pulled her close against him. She stood be
tween his knees, tucked her head into his shoulder and just breathed him in. Standing in the shelter of his arms, she felt safe and protected. His heart beat, strong and steady, against her palm. She lifted her head to find his eyes waiting, tenderness, fire and understanding held within. He cleared his throat. “I love you, you know,” he said.
She nodded, so overcome with emotion for a moment that she couldn’t speak. He held her fast in his arms and in his gaze. After a gulp of air, she gathered herself. “I love you too. I don’t know why I got all weird about us, but…” She lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “No need to worry about me being stupid about us again. It was awful without you. I don’t ever want to go through that again,” she said vehemently.
Quinn smiled softly, his eyes warm. “That’s a good thing then because I’d put up a hell of a fight next time.”
Quinn followed Lacey out the door at Dr. Marshall’s office and into the small parking lot. She held tight to his hand, while she gripped a folder of papers in another. Dr. Marshall had gotten her started on a course of medication to manage her relapses and decrease potential damage to her central nervous system. Dr. Marshall had also sent her away with various informational handouts on her medication and preventative monitoring. Lacey had been more relaxed and curious about what was happening than in any of the other times he’d been with her to the doctor. He chalked that up to the fact she wasn’t coming after an event, no matter how minor, and she genuinely seemed to have come to terms with what she was facing.
As the last few weeks had unfolded, he’d come to realize that the woman he’d initially been attracted to—so strong, so bold and so full of life—was even more so now. It was different, yet somehow witnessing her let down her guard and let herself rely on anyone, much less him, was so humbling and brave, it only deepened the strength he so admired in her.
