Manic Monday: (Dane Monday 1)

by Dennis Liggio

  The window in 5G was not destroyed, unlike in 5C. She pulled a tissue out of her purse and opened the window, trying to avoid the dirt and molding that rained down. She immediately began to hear more of the city noises, even though the window opened up on an alley.

  With some reluctance, she leaned out of that window frame, first making sure her camera was strapped to her. Looking down the side of the building, she could plainly see a window for 5E. So why wasn't there a door to 5E?

  She went back to the hallway and looked at the empty wall where 5E's entrance should be. There was no seam as far as she could tell. It didn't look like someone had just covered up the door, or if they did, it was done a long time ago and had decayed with the hall. She paced back and forth, then went back into 5G and leaned out the window. She wasn't sure why this 5E thing bugged her so much, but it had crawled into her brain and now she needed to know. It was bad enough that she was now even considering something stupid. Something Old Abby wouldn't do. But New Abby seemed to be all for it. It was dangerous, stupid, and probably nothing good would come of it. And yet she still did it.

  Abby made sure the camera and purse were securely strapped to her - she draped the purse strap across her and wrapped the camera strap around it so both were well protected and incapable of falling from her. Then she opened the window as wide as she could, causing more dirt and debris to fall down from the cracking walls. She took a deep breath and wondered why she was doing this. New Abby, right? She realized New Abby was crazy.

  Still shaking her head, she pushed herself out the window, clutching the window frame and maneuvering her body onto the small ledge along the side of the building. Her heart pounded. The ledge was only maybe a foot wide, meant more for decoration than burglary or journalistic snooping. She tried very hard to not look down. The city noises were suddenly more clear, the air now flush with city scents unlike the building's stale air. Life was suddenly very loud, adrenaline making everything so vivid.

  The other window was less than ten feet away, but at this height and with her fingers clawing into the building stone with every inch forward, it seemed like it was a world away. She again wondered why she was doing this. What strange compulsion had entered her mind that this story was so interesting and worth risking her life for? As she dragged herself along the tiny ledge, she wondered if New Abby had some sort of self-destructive streak she didn't know about. Maybe she wanted the exclusive story to be Young Woman Falls From Fifth Floor Window After Being an Idiot.

  When her hand finally grabbed the 5E window frame, it was like the end of a marathon, biting into the best dessert ever, and grasping a life raft in an endless, choppy sea all at once. The window frame felt more solid than anything in her life. She pulled herself to it and held onto it almost possessively - as if letting go would cause her to fall five flights to an undignified death.

  Of course, just because she had risked much for her goal didn't mean that life was going to go her way. She had a long moment of deep breathing as she clutched the window frame, waiting for her whole body to stop shaking. Then she tried opening the window. She quickly discovered that the window was either locked or wedged shut.

  She began to curse New Abby, but stifled her words as she saw movement in the window. She carefully wiped away some of the external grime on the window so she could look in better. Peering through this newly cleared section, she was confused. What was going on? There were some bizarre things occurring in the room.

  But before she focused too much on her confusion, Old Abby reminded her that her first commitment was to journalism. Whatever this was needed to be recorded for posterity... and pageviews. She carefully grabbed her camera, pointed it in the window, and began filming.

  Doors and Windows

  Dane was back up on the fifth floor a few minutes later. He finished off his coffee as he pushed through the stairwell door. He put his travel mug in his satchel and rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "Now, to find 5E!"

  The wall was blank as it was before, but he was not letting that stop him. There was a trick, there had to be. Whenever all evidence pointed to something that was just missing, there was a trick. There always was a trick; that's how these things work. The security guard (Mr. Douglas, as Dane has found out in a pleasant conversation) had looked toward the blank wall after Dane had mentioned the missing apartment. It was a subtle gesture, but that's just the sort of horrible poker tell that Dane banked on. But what was special about the wall?

  To all appearances, it was a regular wall, the same as the rest of the hallway. Dane could probably take a hammer or axe to it and break through - if he had a hammer or axe. However, he wasn't sure he needed to brute force this one. If the building had been empty and 5E blocked, he'd be much more likely to think that was the right move. But Douglas was guarding something. And Dane could tell that Douglas wasn't the brains of the operation either. So someone else was probably already in the apartment. And that meant they hadn't used brute force either. Therefore, mused Dane, there was some other way in.

  Dane tried knocking - he was always surprised how often knocking worked. Magic was a big fan of knocking - magic was just that way. Some technology worked on audio cues too, though not often. Even if knocking wasn't a fancy technique, it was often good to lead with a simple greeting. Often the unknown was very friendly if you said hello. Of course, when it wasn't friendly, a knock did alert it to your presence. But Douglas aside, Dane had no reason to think the room was hostile. Yet.

  After knocking, Dane waited for the inevitable result. Maybe the wall would slide back in bright light and billowing smoke, unearthly voices calling his name or asking him a riddle. Maybe the door would unlock like an airlock, revealing a cybernetic abomination trying to come to terms with its unfortunate existence. Alas, after half a minute, he realized nothing was going to happen.

  Dane began rooting through his satchel for a useful tool. He didn't always have the most optimal equipment, in fact, it was usually a grab bag of what was left in there from the last adventure and a few additional things he tossed in. Theoretically, he should consider each assignment and create a functional loadout for each, but he didn't do that for two major reasons. First, he usually had next to no information about what a new case would entail. On this one he had just gotten an address. Maybe an internet search would have gotten him more information about it, but his marching orders were usually ASAP, leaving little time for careful research. Second, careful preparation seemed to take all the excitement and adventure out of it. Frankly, planning just wasn't as fun.

  However, even with his rotating grab bag of tools, there were a few favorites that were almost always in the bag. Either they had proved fantastically useful in a variety of situations or they were just extremely fun to use. He dug past a few of these favorites now, dismissing ones that seemed inappropriate for this situation: disguised knockout gas grenade, flathead screwdriver, all-purpose athame, keys to a rocket bike (now destroyed, but Dane always felt the keychain was just lucky), laser pointer, robot jammer, his heartbreakingly broken gas powered grapple gun, shock ring - ah ha! He finally found what he was looking for: The Goggles.

  Dane didn't have a name for them other than The Goggles. He didn't know what they were or exactly how they worked. He guessed they were magic, but he wasn't sure. He had claimed them off Mad Doctor Romanov, who had thought The Goggles were simply using an unknown technology. They looked like simple airman goggles from one of the World Wars with a few additions. First off, they were made almost entirely of Avalon Brass and leather. Gold lettering of an unknown language circled the lenses. On the sides of the lenses were small knobs for tuning. But what was most important was that when you put them on, you could see things. Special things. Things that weren't there otherwise. Dane had a theory of how, but he had never gotten it proven. His theory was uncomplicated but not very informative. Magic, in a word.

  As he looked through The Goggles, Dane could now see something where the 5E doorway should be. It was
simultaneously blurry, shimmering, and amber. One of the flaws of The Goggles was that they were monochromatic. They made everything have an odd yellow-brown tinge, like a sepia-colored wonderland out of some old-timey penny arcade show. The blurriness usually arose from The Goggles being out of tune. He played with the knobs on the side, turning them with the slow care of a safe cracker. In moments the blur became a clear door, still shimmering. It was slightly transparent, as if superimposed on the wall rather than part of it.

  Dane reached for the doorknob, but found that his hand slipped off every time he grabbed at it. It wasn't that the door knob simply wasn't there or was intangible, it was simply that his hand seemed deflected every time he put it in that area. Some force didn't want him touching that doorknob. The sensation was like running your hand across something soapy and slippery. It was even somewhat pleasant feeling.

  "That's actually kind of fun," said Dane to himself as he grabbed a few more times just to feel his hand slipping away from it.

  Then Dane started digging in his satchel in again. Surely he had brought the frictionless gloves with him. He was missing one glove and the second had a hole in them, but this was just opening a door, not catching a deadly kinetically-charged object, so one ripped glove would work fine. But where were they?

  Fortunately, Dane did not need the gloves. As he went through the satchel, he noticed the door change from shimmering amber to a more solid dark sepia color. It had also lost all of its transparency. He pushed The Goggles up onto his forehead to see the door was visible and solid. A moment later it unlocked with a noticeable click. This would have been where a normal person would have taken cover, but Dane was more interested to see what was coming out of the door than in hiding, so he stood in front of the door in tingling anticipation. The door opened and out stepped another moose of a security guard in a dark suit and tie. He had buzzed hair and was approximately the same dimensions as Mr. Douglas. They must have bought their security guards in bulk. Seeing Dane, the guard immediately used his bulky presence to keep Dane away the door without actually touching him.

  "Hello!" said Dane with a smile, but the man said nothing. Dane continued despite the silence. "Do you and Mr. Douglas have the same tailor? A big and tall shop for insanely ripped dudes?"

  Next two well-dressed people came through the door, each giving a shoulder to help a third walk. The well-dressed woman was blonde, maybe in her forties or fifties, her jewelry showing off some wealth without being gaudy. The well-dressed man was in his thirties, had dark hair, a goatee, and a tan that was out of season for New Avalon. But it was the third person, the one they half-carried, who was the most interesting. He was covered with bandages. Not a single inch of his skin was exposed, as if he were the Invisible Man. He had a long coat thrown around him, probably originally owned by the well-dressed woman by its cut and furred collar. But where the coat didn't cover, he was wrapped in endless gauze bandages, looking more mummy than man.

  "Oh hello, how are you!" said Dane, stepping out from behind the guard and extending his hand for a shake to the bandaged person. "I'm Dane Monday, pleased to meet you!" He had purposely skipped greeting the well-dressed couple; it was clear the bandaged mummy was the most interesting person in the hall.

  The three member group paused as the bandaged person had tensed. The mummy head turned toward Dane. Blue eyes looked out from a gap in the gauze, their expression unreadable as they looked Dane up and down. Then the Invisible Man's head turned back and his two well-dressed helpers proceeded in walking him down the hall toward the stairs.

  Dane opened his mouth to say something and stepped forward, but the security guard stepped in front of Dane, his unfathomable bulk acting as a castle wall and saying more than any grunted word could convey.

  "I was just being friendly," said Dane, noting that the guard was now close enough that he had to stare upward to look the man in his face.

  "Where's Douglas?" said the well-dressed man, both annoyance and exertion in his voice.

  "Oh, Mr. Douglas and I had a little chat!" said Dane. "And it turned out that this would be an excellent time for him to take a break! Security is hard work and he's underpaid, from what I hear."

  The guard sighed, his voice indicating this was something that happened before. "Douglas. Every time."

  The well-dressed man part way down the hall shook his head, but continued helping the bandaged person down the hall. "Kripp, come with us."

  "But what about him?" asked the security guard, Mr. Kripp. "Maybe I can have one of my guys come up here."

  "He doesn't matter," said the well-dressed man. "It will all get sorted out."

  Kripp sighed, disappointed at not being able to rough up Dane or otherwise exert his dominance in a more full-contact method. He briskly walked to the others, opening the door for the fifth floor stairwell so the trio could go downstairs.

  In their wake, they hadn't bothered with the door to 5E. It had been left open and unconcealed. With neither Kripp nor Douglas in attendance, it was completely unguarded. The mere fact of it being a previously locked door now left carelessly open was so inviting to Dane.

  But Dane had a quick decision to make: check out the room or follow the trio. While the bandaged person was indeed mysterious and intriguing, they could easily get into a car and drive away. And that assumed they did not use Kripp to strong arm Dane into submission. Kripp seemed not nearly as reasonable as Douglas. And Dane had to admit, as fascinating as the bandaged person was, they were not as inviting as the unlocked and visible door of 5E. He also felt obligated to check out the room first. Dream Jeopardy had wanted him to check out the room. The show had not specified the mummy that walked out of it, though Dane figured that the Invisible Man would become relevant all too soon.

  Walking through the door, Dane had an internal thrill. He was always excited when getting down to the investigation of the case. Whoever they were, they always sent him on the exciting things... but also the dangerous things. Dane was always just fascinated by all he saw that the danger never seemed to dominate his memories.

  As soon as he walked in 5E, he knew that this room was special.

  "Ah ha, it's a magic case!" said Dane.

  If there was a sure sign of magic mischief for Dane, it was weird symbols of unrecognizable origin. Sure, in some cases, mad scientists were known to cover walls with manically written equations, but those never looked like magic. Those had numbers, multiplication symbols, and parentheses. Magic symbols were odd squiggles that suggested things were Viking, Egyptian, or Chinese, but never quite were. Magic symbols were nonsense to the uninitiated, but the instructions to the universe for arcane practitioners. Though, in the instances Dane had to deal with them, they were typically the instructions for the universe to self-destruct. Why did they never write out the magical codes for world peace?

  The choice in how magical symbols were drawn differed from sorcerer to sorcerer. Some liked the slow and obsessively accurate method of using a brush and ink or even using sand to make mandalas. Others scrawled them with whatever was at hand, far less care taken, as long as the symbols were correct enough. 5E was covered with the latter type as it appeared someone had used a sharpie marker to scrawl all over the walls in a slightly shaky hand.

  Of course, that was what you could see with normal vision. Dane had The Goggles with him, so he had a very different way of looking at the symbols. In his Goggle-enhanced vision, he could see that under the sharpie writing was shining gold text that had been written in a far steadier hand. In front of the text on the walls were rings of candles as well. While those had all been extinguished, in Gogglevision Dane could see that the candles all still glowed with their own faint light.

  As he walked in, Dane nearly tripped over a pile of clothes. He found two piles of poorly folded dark gray robes. Not bathrobes, these were the heavy duty, check-me-out-I'm-a-wizard robes common of LARPers and cultists.

  Next to the robes was a pile of empty plastic wrappers. Picking one up, Dane saw
that all the wrappers were for medical gauze. That made sense. It also told Dane that the Invisible Man either was wrapped in bandages here or at least had them changed.

  In the center of the room was the likely focal point of whatever ritual had been done. Dane saw a few things there of interest, but before he could examine them close, Dane was distracted by a tapping, a gentle rapping that he had noticed since he walked through the chamber door. It was too loud and disorganized for the ticking of a bomb, nor did it sound like a Geiger counter - which was another item Dane had failed to bring with him.

  Dane walked around the room, trying to locate the source of the sound before he realized it was coming from the window. The window was covered with grime so he couldn't see much through it. He shrugged and unlocked the window. Pulling it open, the sounds of the city and a gust of cold air rushed into 5E. There was nothing out the window on the ledge, and he considered closing it again. But he was never one to give up that easily, so he stuck his head out the window.

  On the right side, clutching the window frame for dear life was a shivering, pale girl.

  "Uh... can you help me in?" said Abby.

  "If your hobby is to climb abandoned buildings, I suggest you find a new one," said Dane as he offered her his hand. She grabbed it and carefully pulled herself into the building. Her arms and legs were shaking, but there was clearly some relief in being on solid ground.

  "It's not my hobby," she said. "It was for a story!"