City Girl (Yellow Rose Trilogy 3)

Home > Historical > City Girl (Yellow Rose Trilogy 3) > Page 18
City Girl (Yellow Rose Trilogy 3) Page 18

by Lori Wick


  she was tired and left her on her own, but in truth, the older

  woman just needed time to think. For a woman who only

  darkened the door of the church out of guilt, she was certainly

  having a strange reaction to not being able to attend

  this morning. It wasn't guilt that filled her right now but

  longing. She could hear Brenda moving around not far outside

  the door, sounding as though she might be headed

  back her way, but still Katy wanted to pray.

  I've spent so much time trying not to think about You that I

  don't know how to do this. Cash says You're therefor everyone,

  even sinners, and I can see now that I am. She paused, her

  303

  breathing coming hard as she tried to find the words to say

  what was in her heart, feeling more fear than she had teen

  prepared for. I think I might need to know more about this before

  I can do anything, but if You'll help me to get out of this bed, I'll

  try to learn about You and not run away anymore.

  City Girl 167

  Almost on that exact note, Brenda reentered the room.

  Had Cash been home, Katy would have asked for him, but

  he had only just left. She made herself lie still, even as

  Brenda moved quietly around the room, hoping she could

  fall asleep and not have to think about it when there was no

  one there to help her.

  "Is God always in control?" Pastor Ellis asked on

  Sunday morning. "I mean, constantly, 100 percent of the

  time? Or is He a God who decided one day to wind up the

  304

  universe, stand back, arms crossed over His chest, and

  watch to see what happened?"

  Reagan's mouth opened a little. That was exactly the

  way her father had believed. When she was a child, he had

  said time and again that God might have created things,

  but He was not a part of the everyday dealings of humans.

  He just wound up the universe and let it run. And who could

  blame Him? That's what I would do if I were God. I wouldn't

  want to be bothered with humans any longer than I had to.

  "Do you think God really cares about the people He's

  created?" /Pastor Ellis now queried. "The answer to that

  question might tell you about your view of God. Is He a

  sovereign ruler who enjoys seeing His creatures suffer, or

  is He a sovereign ruler who's there to love and aid His

  people in hard times? Maybe He's a God who isn't completely

  in control. Maybe He loves His creation, but He

  can't actually help it."

  Reagan watched Pastor Ellis smile.

  "I'd like to read to you from the book of Jeremiah. Don't

  turn there. Just let yourself listen for a moment. This is Jeremiah

  305

  32:17-19, and then verse 27. Just listen now to some of

  my favorite verses in all of Scripture.

  "'Ah, Lord God! Behold, thou hast made the heaven and

  the earth by thy great power and stretched out arm, and

  168 lori wick

  there is nothing too hard for thee. Thou showest lovngkindness

  unto thousands, and recompensest the iniquity

  of the fathers into the bosom of their children after

  them; the Great, the Mighty God, the Lord of hosts, is his

  name, great in counsel, and mighty in work. For thine eyes

  are open upon all the -ways of the sons of men, to give every

  one according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his

  doings/

  "Now to verse 27: 'Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all

  flesh. Is there anything too hard for me?'

  "If you'll open your Bibles to the last chapter of the book

  Job, I'd like to read to you again, but this time I want you

  fallow al ~ T l* U~J 1 i- * ' '

  306

  ofjob;

  _, _0 -, **** . j. **cu.u,jruu

  to follow along. Job had been through so much, but the

  Word says he trusted God through it all. If you still doubt

  God's ability to be in control, follow along as I read from

  the first few verses of Job 42."

  Not until that moment did Reagan realize she'd left the

  Bible Holly had loaned her in the little house. She searched

  around, hoping someone had left a Bible nearby, but saw

  that Cash already had his open and was holding it between

  them.

  Reagan smiled at him; she had not even remembered he

  was there but now leaned a little to read along, even as the

  pastor began.

  "'Then Job answered the Lord, and said, I know that

  thou canst do everything, and that no thought can be withheld

  from thee/ Now skip down to verse 12. 'So the Lord

  blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning, for he

  had fourteen thousand sheep, and six thousand camels,

  307

  and a thousand yoke of oxen, and a thousand she-asses. He

  had also seven sons and three daughters/ Now to verse 15:

  'And in all the land were no women found so fair as the

  daughters of Job, and their father gave them inheritance

  among their brethren. After this lived Job an hundred and

  forty years, and saw his sons, and his sons' sons, even four

  generations. So Job died, being old and full of days/"

  City Girl 169

  Again the pastor smiled at the congregation. "You might

  be tempted to say that was the least God could do. After all,

  He allowed Satan to touch Job's life. But don't miss the

  point I'm trying to make: God is powerful, loving, and

  able. He did not sit back once He created us, happy to just

  watch us struggling to survive. Even today He's active and

  very much a part of any life that will allow Him room.

  "But maybe you don't know what I'm talking about.

  Maybe you've never experienced what a personal God we

  have. Don't wait another day to find out. Don't be uncertain

  308

  about tomorrow ever again. Don't be frightened of

  death for one more moment

  "I want you to bow your heads right now--no one

  looking around so all have privacy. This is not something I

  do very often, but all week I've felt a great burden to share

  this with you. Some of you don't know me very well, so

  you might not come to me or anyone else in (his church,

  but you might be desperate to settle this issue between

  yourself and God. If you are, then I would urge you to pray

  this prayer with me. Just say the words in your heart after

  I say them. If you mean them, God will save you. You'll be

  a new believer in Jesus Christ

  "Just pray like this," Pastor Ellis continued, and then

  proceeded very slowly. "Father in heaven, I know I am a

  sinner. I know I am lost without You, but You sent Your Son

  to die for my sins, and I want to believe on You right now.

  I know You are willing and able to save me, and at this time

  I wish for Your salvation, so I can live my life for You.

  "Dear friend," the pastor started, but needed to add,

  "lef s keep our eyes closed for just a moment more. Dear

  309

  friend, if you prayed that prayer with me, you are a new

  creature in Christ, a new believer. You don't need to tell me

  about it, but I would urge you to
tell someone, and if you

  do tell me, I have a list of verses from God's Word that will

  help you understand what you've done and help you

  grow.

  170 lori wick

  "We're just going to have a moment of silent prayer right

  now. I won't keep you too much longer, but let us just be

  quiet a moment to give all of our hearts some time to

  think."

  Another minute passed, this time in silence, and finally

  Pastor Ellis closed the prayer with a few words. He then

  invited the congregation to stand and join him in a dosing

  song.

  "Is it really that simple?" Reagan turned to Cash and

  whispered. Her eyes were huge. She had not even made a

  310

  pretense of reaching for the hymnbook or attempting to

  stand. All she could think about was the prayer she had

  just prayed. She had not planned to, but suddenly she'd

  wanted to so much that she ached. To her amazement, the

  ache was gone.

  "Yes, Reagan, it is," Cash confirmed, keeping his seat as

  well, glad they were in one of the last pews.

  "But there's so much I don't know," she told him, feeling

  slightly overwhelmed.

  "That comes in time. When a person truly believes, he's

  new in Christ. The desire to learn fills him because God's

  Spirit now indwells him and can teach him all about the

  Word."

  "You mean the Bible."

  "Yes. A desire to know more about the Lord and live for Him is one of the ways we know that true salvation happened.

  It doesn't mean we never sin again, but our attitude

  is changed about sin, and we don't want to live in it anymore."

  311

  Reagan bit her lip just before she admitted, "I prayed the

  prayer."

  Cash's smile was as warm as a spring day. "Did you,

  Reagan?"

  She nodded rather helplessly.

  "I hadn't planned to--not really--but suddenly my

  heart wanted to so badly. He said I would never have to

  City Girl 171

  fear again, and he said I could get this settled between God

  and me right now, and I wanted that."

  "That sounds like great news, Reagan," Cash said sincerely.

  The congregation was milling around, but neither

  one noticed. "Our God is a saving God, and the benefits of

  knowing Him are without measure."

  "Thaf s the way Holly has talked."

  "And she's right. Tell me something, Reagan; what happened

  to your fear of someone else being in control?"

  312

  "What do you mean?"

  Cash looked her in the eye. "Listen to me, Reagan. I do

  not want to put a damper on your prayer in any way, but

  there is something we all have to understand. We need to

  understand who we are accepting when we are saved. God

  is huge, and He is a righteously jealous God. He does not

  want to share us. This needs to be a whole-heart experience

  for you, or me, or anyone who desires that relationship.

  Does that make sense?"

  Reagan nodded.

  "Your life will be taking a new direction. You won't be

  living for self, but for God. If s a wonderful life--there is

  none better--but I want to be sure you understand. I

  wouldn't want you to be confused about that."

  Reagan stared at him for a moment and then began

  without warning: "There was a girl I knew in New York.

  She worked with me at the factory, and I was there on her

  first day. I remember her hands were bleeding by the time

  we broke for lunch. She'd obviously never worked a day in

  her life. Some of the girls asked her about it, but she didn't

  313

  say very much."

  Cash was hanging on every word, his face intent.

  "Over time Veronica and I talked. I found out that she

  was from one of the wealthiest families in the city. She

  didn't want all the girls to know since they would never

  have understood. They would never have grasped why she

  would walk away from all that money to work like a dog

  172 lori wick

  in the factory, but she summed it up for me in a few words.

  She said she couldn't take the responsibility anymore."

  Knowing that Reagan understood him so clearly caused

  Cash's heart to thunder in his chest

  "That's it, isn't it, Cash? My father, God, is the wealthiest

  man in the city, and I've got to act as though I belong to

  Him."

  "Yes, Reagan, but our God doesn't leave us alone to do

  that. Just as Pastor said, He doesn't wind us up and let us

  go. He helps us every step of the way. He makes the

  314

  changes in us. His love makes it worth living for Him--as

  you put it, 'acting like we belong to Him.'"

  Reagan's heart and mind were so full she didn't know

  what to do or think. She sat quietly, trying to pray, but all

  she could do was express her gratitude.

  "Do you thank God for saving you, Cash?" Reagan suddenly

  asked.

  "Not as often as I should," he admitted. "I think that

  might be something I should thank Him for all day."

  "He really does save, doesn't He?"

  "Yes, He does," Cash agreed, that warm smile back in

  place. "When I first came to Christ, J had times when I

  didn't think it was real, but there was no denying the

  changes going on inside of me. God has a way of affirming

  us when we most need it."

  "You weren't saved as a child?"

  "No. I've only been saved for about five years."

  "So you know what I'm feeling?"

  315

  Cash could only laugh at her look of wonder.

  "Am I interrupting?" a voice cut in, and both turned to

  see Holly Bennett had come to stand just behind the pew

  where they sat

  Reagan rose to her feet, her face alight with wonder as

  she faced her friend. -

  "Oh,

  Holly," the younger woman whispered, "I'm so

  glad you came over. I have something wonderful to tell

  you."

  GfaaMeM

  "I don't have to get married now, do I, Holly?" Reagan

  asked suddenly. She had talked with Russell and then

  Pastor Ellis, and now Holly was walking her to the wagon.

  "What has you so worried on that issue, Reagan?"

  The young woman sighed. "I don't know exactly, but the

  whole idea repels me. I can see how Russell loves you, but

  316

  if s just not something I want."

  "What if a man loved you?"

  Reagan shook her head no.

  "What if you loved a man?"

  Reagan looked surprised.

  "I've never been in love," she admitted, "but I've seen it

  happen and don't think if s for me."

  Holly knew she should not debate this with her. As far

  as she knew, there was no command in Scripture that all

  women and men must find spouses. And Holly couldn't

  help but think that a person's preference was valid. At the

  same time, there was a correct way to view marriage, an

  institution God Himself created.

  "You're worrying about this, Reagan, and there's no

  need. If God has marriage for you, He'll prepare your
/>
  heart. Don't get in the habit of telling Him what He can and

  cannot do, and also don't fall into the sin pattern of worrying

  over what He might do."

  m

  317

  174 lori wick

  This said, Holly smiled at her, and Reagan relaxed. She

  hugged the older woman and thanked her.

  "I certainly have a lot to learn."

  "You're not alone in that"

  "Thank you, Holly. Thank you for everything."

  "You're welcome. And don't give the little house

  another thought. I keep a close eye on it, and if s waiting for

  you whenever Katy's back on her feet."

  The women hugged again before the men showed up

  and they parted. Once in the wagon, Russell told the children

  what had transpired, and they were very pleased.

  EUy, however, had a question.

  "Will one of the men marry Reagan now?"

  This wasn't an unusual question for a child in this situation

  who had watched it happen in the church family several

  times before.

  318

  "Reagan doesn't wish to be married," Holly told her

  gently. "So we'd probably better not watch for that"

  But as soon as they arrived home and Russell had a

  moment alone with Holly, he returned to the subject.

  "Maybe she won't feel that way after today."

  "Yes, she will," Holly informed him. "She brought it up

  to me the moment we were alone."

  "Did she really?" Russell asked, clearly surprised.

  "Yes. I told her not to panic. But if the men in the congregation

  are smart, they'll keep their distance, because the

  lady is not in the market for a mate,"

  When Russell and Holly took so long, Jonah came

  looking for them, so they dropped the subject again. But

  for some reason, it lingered in the minds of both adults.

  S-- 'Sr $

  By the time Reagan had talked with Holly, Russell,

  Pastor Ellis, and Holly again, and then she and Cash had

  asked the doctor to visit, they did not return to the ranch

  319

  City Girl 175

  until quite late. Brenda met them at the door, something

  that caused momentary alarm, but all fear melted in the

  light of her smile.

  "How did it go?" Cash asked.

  "Just fine. She was a little tired, I think, but we got along

  just great."

  "Thank you, Brenda," Reagan told her sincerely.

  "Anytime, Reagan. Just let me know."

  "Next Sunday?" Reagan said, a lilt in her voice.

  'Til plan on it."

  Cash saw Brenda on her way and then went to check on

 

‹ Prev