Only I had no idea where to look. And knowing how fast Max drove when he was upset—
Oh, dear God, my stomach twisted in fear. He could end up in an accident.
I snatched my cell from the center console and speed-dialed him. “C’mon—c’mon, Max, pick up, please pick up…”
Chapter Twenty
Max
As dusk crept over the Pacific, I stood on the damp sands, the waves crashing on the shore and flowing around my boots, my mind in a turbulent haze. Pain spread through my ruined hand. It didn’t seem broken. Hurt like hell, but didn’t compare to the one in my chest that felt like someone had rammed a jackhammer into me.
My ringing cell pierced the chaos in my head. After a moment, I pulled it out from my pocket only to stare at the display. Logan. As if my thumb had a mind of its own, I stroked her name. It hurt to breathe just thinking of her.
The cell went silent then started up again. I answered, because no matter what, I loved her. Even if she didn’t, or couldn’t, it wasn’t her fault. Hell, my own father couldn’t stand me.
“Logan—”
“Max?” Her soft voice wrapped around me, pulling me back from my despair, drawing me into her warmth. “Thank God, I was so worried! Where are you?”
“Don’t be. I’m fine.”
“Dammit, Max, don’t play that game with me. Just tell me where—shit!” A loud screech filled my ears, shattering glass, and ramming metal.
“Logan?” I yelled, my blood freezing.
Nothing. Dead air.
No, no, no! “Logan, answer me, dammit!” Dread kicking me in the stomach, I took off in a hard sprint up the narrow, sandy path back to the house. I rang her again. It dropped into voicemail. Sounds of crunching metal and splintering glass of another time reverberated in my head. Panting hard, I skidded to the front of the house. No sign of my SUV. “Where the fuck’s my Jeep?”
The valet took an involuntary step back. “Your girlfriend has it.”
Pivoting, I found the other valet getting out of a Ferrari and shoved him aside.
Tanner grabbed me. “What the hell, Max?”
“Logan. I have to find her, have to find her, have to...” My lungs flattened, threatening to shut down. “She went looking for me. An accident, I don’t know—Christ, I don’t know!”
“C’mon. You’re in no condition to drive.” Tanner slid into the driver’s seat of his car. I slammed in on the other side. Moments later, we hit the main road, searching… Several streets later, and nothing.
Goddammit, where the hell was she? I scanned the darkening roads. Streetlights flickered on, panic gnawing my guts like acid had settled there. I’d lost the only other person I loved, I couldn’t lose Logan, too. This time, I wouldn’t survive the loss.
Blinking lights grabbed me attention. “Tanner, over there!”
He slowed down. A short distance from us, a small crowd had gathered, and several cars had pulled off to the side of the road. A siren screamed, rending the air. Blue lights flashed. A fire brigade was parked nearby.
My heart jammed in my throat. The scene blinked in my mind like movie clips.
Ripped metal road barrier. Glinting glass on the asphalt. My smashed Jeep. A leaning streetlight—
The past careened through my head, spilling free from the black hole in my mind…
Rain slashing down on the windshield as I struggled to see through the torrent and keep the Merc on the road…mom weeping beside me.
“I won’t go back, Max, I won’t. You can’t make me.”
“You have to talk to him, find out the truth—”
“No—” She unclipped her seatbelt, yanked at the steering wheel.
“Mom, stop!” I yelled.
Too late. The car skidded off the wet road and flipped over, rolling down the ledge and crashing against the rocks far below. A terrible pain exploded in my skull. Something thick and wet dripped down my brow. As darkness claimed me, my failing gaze settled on Mom. Her blonde hair matted with blood, more dripping on her white top, green eyes open and vacant…
Logan’s face replaced those brutal images, blood flowing from her head, her dark hair slick and wet as it dripped more red onto her indestructible dress…lifeless amber eyes staring at nothing.
Someone shook me. “Breathe, Max, breathe.” Tanner. “I’ll go see what happened.”
I stared blankly at the ambulance’s flashing light. Unable to move. To take a step.
No! I clawed my way out of the violence of my past. Adrenaline jetted through my veins, yanking me back to life. I shot out of the car and tore across the street to my smashed-up Jeep wrapped around the streetlight. The broken glass crunched beneath my boots. At the blood smearing the splintered windshield and steering wheel, my heart stopped.
Logan, you can’t leave me—you can’t.
“I’m fine…I’m fine…” A familiar voice reached me through the agony flooding me. I pivoted. The air wheezed from my lungs. Tears stung my eyes.
Logan sat on the back of the ambulance, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, looking shaken. Blood streamed down from a cut on her brow. A paramedic was working on her, putting on a neck brace. She held her left hand close to her chest as if her wrist hurt. A cop stood adjacent to her, taking a statement.
Then she looked up, and a trembling smile appeared on her lips. “Max.” A whisper.
Everything—everyone around me vanished. Except her.
I sprinted across the street. Falling on my knees, I gathered her into my arms. I didn’t care that I probably got in the way of the paramedic treating her. Didn’t speak, just held her living, breathing body and struggled to breathe past the boulder in my throat.
She ran her shaky fingers through my hair. “I’m so sorry about your Jeep. I—a dog appeared out of nowhere, and I hit the brakes too late.”
“I don’t care about the damn car.” Easing back, I looked her over. An ugly, purple contusion was forming on her forehead. “God, Logan, I could have lost you!”
“Next time, make sure you wear your seatbelt,” the cop said sternly. “It could have been fatal.”
A dull red flush washed across her pale face.
She hadn’t worn her seatbelt? Anger jetted through my veins, crashing over my fear. “You didn’t wear your goddamn seatbelt! What the hell were you thinking? You could have fucking died!”
“It was an accident.” She scowled. “And stop yelling at me. I was so worried about you.”
“I have to get that wound seen to,” the paramedic interrupted us from behind. “And we need to get her to the hospital ASAP.”
Inhaling harshly, I pushed to my feet, struggling to calm down so I wouldn’t shake her. How the hell could she be so careless with her life? Didn’t she know how much I needed her? Loved her? She hadn’t worn a damn seatbelt!
“No, no, I’m fine,” she told the paramedic. “I don’t need to go to the hospital.”
I fixed her a hard glare. “You’re going.”
Her soft mouth tightened. But at the pain in her eyes when the paramedic cleaned the gash on her brow, my anger drained as fast as it had appeared. This wasn’t her fault. I’d left. I’d driven her to search for me because of my anger with my father.
Her hazy gaze met mine, she mouthed as if to reassure me, “I’m fine.”
Right now, I needed a doc’s goddamn guarantee that she would be okay before I could actually breathe again. But I doubted anything would ever calm this fear still roiling within me.
***
Hands fisted in my pockets, my gaze pinned on the examination room door, I wore down the floors of the ER corridor as I paced. The lowered room temperature, the smell of pine and disinfectant, brought back memories of a time I could no longer avoid. With the fog yanked free from my mind, more memories were released. But for now, I pushed them aside. I’d deal with that as soon as I knew Logan would be okay.
Tanner leaned back against the white-washed wall, cell pressed to his ear, a flat look in his eyes. Doubtle
ss, his current fling was on his back for his sudden disappearance.
“Is that what you believe? Then go.”
With that, it seemed Tanner had ended another short-term relationship.
“See to the bill would you?” I paused beside him. “I’ll pay you back.”
Tanner cocked a dark brow at me. “How?”
“Just fucking do it. I’ll get you your goddamn money,” I snapped, struggling not to take out my fear and frustration on him.
“How can I say no to that wonderful request?” With a shake of his head, Tanner headed for the nurses’ station.
Anxiously, I raked my fingers through my hair and glared back at the room where Logan was. What the hell was taking them so long? Dropping into one of the hardback chairs, I turned my glare to the plain white ceiling.
What seemed like hours later, the door to Logan’s exam room opened. I shot up from the seat as an attendant wheeled her out and past me.
Her eyes were closed. She appeared far too pale. Her head wound had been covered by dressing, and her wrist was wrapped in a compressed bandage.
“Logan?” I touched her good hand, but she didn’t respond. I forced out through gritted teeth, “How is she?”
The male nurse cast me an even look. “Talk to the doc. She’s being admitted.”
Heart in my throat, I spun to the dusky-skinned doctor emerging from the room.
“You family?” he asked.
“Her boyfriend.”
Doctor Singh as his name tag indicated, nodded. “I gave her something for the pain. It’s an overnight stay, a precaution in case of a concussion. She took a really nasty knock on the head. Has some bruising in the chest area. A fractured wrist. If all goes well, she should be good to go home tomorrow.”
“Thanks, doc.” I hurried to catch up with the nurse and Logan.
Chapter Twenty-One
Ila
Familiar hands shook me awake. Usually, I wouldn’t mind Max intruding on my dreams, but my achy body protested along with my pounding head. Ugh. “Please, Max, I feel so tired…” I moaned. “Let me sleep. We can have sex later…”
Soft laughter, then lips brushed mine. “Come on, sweet girl, let me see those pretty eyes for a minute.”
Grumbling, I fought to open my eyelids. It felt like lead weighed them down. Then I met the beautiful lake-green eyes of the man who held my heart. “Maaax,” I breathed on a dreamy sigh, petting his face. “You’re so pretty…”
A chuckle. “How do you feel?”
Hmmm… How did I feel? Frowning, I focused my blurry gaze to the white wall behind him and the night-darkened window. I blinked in confusion. Then everything came sweeping back. The last couple of hours seemed surreal, as if they had happened to someone else. “I’m in the hospital.”
“Yes. They’re keeping you overnight for observation. Just a precaution. How do you feel?” he repeated.
I winced, my chest hurting as I took a deep breath. “I was prodded, poked, and examined, I’m grateful I’m still breathing.”
He sat on the chair close to the bed, picked up my hand in both of his, and pressed his brow to our clasped hands. His swollen knuckles were an ugly purple.
My heart faltered. “Max, your hand!”
“It’s not important. Christ, Logan, if anything had happened to you—”
“I’m fine…” There was something important I wanted to say. I struggled through the fog in my head… Right. His father. “I’m sorry for what your father said. It’s not true. You know how I feel about you.”
His lips on my fingers, Max looked up. Desolation flashed in his green eyes, and just as fast, a cool facade replaced it. He was protecting himself. I knew that because I’d done the same thing so many times.
“It’s okay. I knew what I was getting into when I accepted your deal. You kept to your end. I didn’t.” He pushed to his feet and paced to the window and stared out into the night as if unable to look at me. “It’s when the night traps me in the darkness, and I feel like I’m suffocating, then I look at you, and it all fades away.”
His voice was so low, I had to strain to hear him. My throat tightened. “Max—”
“No. Don’t say it. Just let me be with you. And when you feel it’s over…” Then his tight countenance morphed into one of utter determination. He cut me a heated glare. “Fuck that, I’m never letting you go. You are mine—” he broke off as a gray-haired nurse entered the room. His lips tightened.
Overwhelmed, my heart expanded with all the love I felt for him, but I didn’t want to do this in front of her. “Please, would you check his hand? He hurt it.”
The nurse glanced at Max as she put my bed upright. Her stern, professional mask slipped into feminine appreciation. I couldn’t blame her. Max was that gorgeous even when he looked as if he was about to snap out of his skin. Her gaze lowered to his fist resting on the sill. “Let me see that.”
“I’m fine.”
“Max, please?” I pleaded.
When he didn’t move, I threatened, “If you don’t let her treat you, I’ll—I’ll leave this hospital right now.”
Eyes narrowed. Mouth pressed in a frustrated line, he sat near the bed again and let the nurse tend to him. Once she was done, she wrapped a compress dressing around his knuckles. “Try not to hit anything else, okay?”
He didn’t answer, his brooding gaze fixed on me. Okay, so he wouldn’t let me get away with blackmail. I’d cross that bridge when I came to it.
The nurse checked my vitals then handed me two pills. “For pain.”
Thank God. I’d been trying to ignore the increasing throbbing in my skull and hand because I didn’t want Max to worry, but the headache was happily reminding me of how hard I had hit my head. Even breathing hurt my chest. Gratefully, I swallowed the pills with some water.
Once the door closed behind the nurse, my gaze skipped over Max’s unreadable features.
Yes, he was good at hiding his feelings, showing the world, his ‘don’t give a damn’ expression.
Emotions flooding me, I burst out, “Can’t you see? Don’t you sense what I feel for you, Max? It’s so overwhelming…no words can ever describe it.” He went utterly still. I was pretty sure he’d stopped breathing. “I admit, it’s been harder to say because I was terrified to open myself up again. But when you face death, it obliterates every barrier you’ve built, and there is nothing left but love. You walked into my life and stopped my tears—you healed the brokenness inside me. You never gave up on me. And you…you punched Devyn in the face—”
Like a man driven beyond his endurance, he shot up from the chair and gently gathered me into his arms, careful of my injuries.
Tears burned my eyes. My voice cracked. “I love you, Max, so very much.”
“The thought that you didn’t love me…” He exhaled roughly. “It felt like I was drowning and there was nothing I could do—nothing I could hold on to.”
A tear slipped down my face. I put my good arm around him, clutching the back of his shirt, hating that I’d hurt him even for a moment.
“Don’t cry, my dancing girl. You’ve captured this unworthy heart of mine, and I’m all yours. Every flawed piece until the end of our days.” He kissed me tenderly then straightened or tried to, but I held on tightly. “No, don’t.”
“I’m getting a crick in my neck bending over this bed and holding you, baby.” He rubbed his bristly cheek against mine. “Give me a sec.”
He got rid of his boots, lowered the bed, and slid alongside me, careful not to jostle my hurt wrist. “I’m staying right here, with you, until you’re released in the morning.”
“What about the nurse?” I settled in his arms, my head on his chest.
“She can go find her own bed.”
At his dry tone, a shaky laugh escaped me. “I’m not usually needy like this, but I hate hospitals. They remind me too much of when my mom was sick.”
“I like you needing me.” His fingers stroked my waist. “Christ, Logan, when I
saw that crash...”
I understood what he wasn’t saying. “I’m sorry about your mom, and I’m sorry for scaring you in that same way, but I’m right here, Max.”
His eyes darkened. He tipped his head back and stared at the ceiling. “I remember, Logan. I recall everything. It took seeing your crash, the smashed-up Jeep, to break through the wall hiding my memories…” His voice lowered to a rough whisper. “She was crying, my mother was sobbing because she’d found out my father was having an affair.” Bitterness filled his tone. “And Cecilia was her best friend. Even when I didn’t remember, I couldn’t stand her. It makes sense now why.”
Saying “I’m sorry” wouldn’t take away his hurt. I kissed his unshaven jaw instead, letting him know I was there. Because more than anything, I understood the pain of betrayal.
“I’d come back from Jack’s house,” he continued, “and Mom was in the courtyard, in the pouring rain, struggling to start her car. Worried, I parked mine and told her I’d drive her. I had no idea what was wrong at that point…”
For the next ten minutes, Max told me why his mother had let music consume her life and went on tours. Seems his father had been having an affair with Cecilia for years.
I smothered a yawn, the pain meds starting to cloud my mind and steal my consciousness.
Max lifted his head and peered at me in the soft light. “Logan?”
I patted his chest. “Just for a few minutes…’kay.”
“A few minutes?” A smile entered his voice, then his warm lips pressed against my brow as I closed my eyes. “Okay, baby, I’ll be here.” Then in a tone so soft, “I teased you that you’d fall in love with me. I just never figured I’d fall for you first.”
My eyes closed, I whispered, “I think my heart already chose. It just took me longer to get there ‘cause of my fears…”
***
My eyelids flicked open to a room doused in darkness. Groggily, I reached for Max, but the spot beside me, though warm, was empty. Then I saw him disappearing into the corridor. Low voices drifted to me from the gap in the door seconds later.
Breathless (Players to Men) Page 27
