But all of that had been shot to shite.
“Fuck.” Thomas whispered quietly to himself. Three more weeks left in the semester. Then, hopefully, he could take the holiday break to forget about her entirely. If that meant he had to fuck his way through half of the city, he might be willing. Thinking about Alice was painful – and he didn’t like to be reminded of what could have been.
*****
She could never get a break.
Shuddering, Alice spit up the last dregs of bile at the back of her throat into the small container the nurse held below her chin. She’d been out of sorts for the past few days, and though she thought she could handle the situation herself, she ultimately ended up in the university clinic when she could hardly keep down anything she swallowed.
At her roommate’s urging, she’d booked herself a visit, only to run for the toilet the moment she reached the office.
They did all the usual tests – they’d taken blood and urine samples before settling her as comfortably in bed as they could. The real issue, they impressed upon the young woman, was that she needed nutrients. Thus, they’d hooked her up to an IV – probably one of the most terrifying things in the entire cosmos, considering that she hated needles. But it beat passing out entirely.
She didn’t have time to be unconscious. She had a paper due, and it was hard enough to write when she couldn’t stop thinking about her damned professor. Out of the thirty thousand words she needed, she’d completed about half – and to go on seemed utterly useless sometimes. She couldn’t think about turning the damned think in without her stomach erupting in butterflies.
She’d have to confront him…they’d have to interact.
And she’d have to remember what his arms around her felt like – what his face looked like on the cusp of orgasm. The way he laughed when she made ridiculous literature jokes that no one else could possibly understand and that devastating smile of his…
She had fucked up. Monumentally – and she had no one to blame but herself.
It was even hard to look at herself in the mirror; For God’s sake, she’d made herself sick over it. What was she supposed to do for the next two years until she got her degree? Avoid one of the foremost minds in her department? Even if she never had another class with him (which, in and of itself, would be a minor miracle), he would still be one of the men in charge of awarding her degree.
And after her behavior, she wouldn’t be surprised if things were stacked against her.
“Well, Ms. Cantor, how are you feeling?’
She looked up, surprised to see that the nurse tending to her had disappeared and that Dr. Brighton had returned. The kind woman held out a small paper cup of water for her to wash out her mouth; and though Alice’s stomach twinged at the sight of it, she forced herself to drink. “Pretty awful.” She finally admitted, swallowing thickly and praying that she could keep it down.
“Sorry about that.” Doctor Brighton gave her a small smile as she retrieved the cup before tossing it in a nearby wastebasket. “But I’m sure you’ll be happy to know that we’ve gotten to the root of the problem.”
The root of the problem?
Alice’s eyes widened slightly. It wasn’t just anxiety? She had fully accepted the fact that she must be psyching herself into manifesting physical symptoms. “So…it’s not just stress?”
“Oh, no.” The doctor replied, shaking her head slowly. “I’m going to prescribe you some metaclopromide – twenty five milligrams a day. It’s the best treatment for this kind of thing.” She wrote on a pad as she spoke softly. “Take one before you go to bed every night and you should be rid of that pesky morning sickness.”
If Alice’s eyes had been big before, now they were the size of saucers. “Excuse me…morning sickness?”
Doctor Brighton arched a brow. “Yes, of course. Didn’t the nurse tell you? It’s a classic symptom of early pregnancy.”
Alice couldn’t have felt the impact of the Doctor’s statement more if the words had been a physical blow.
For a moment, her mind went completely blank. She couldn’t speak; she couldn’t think; she couldn’t even breathe.
Pregnant. She was pregnant.
Well, that explained a whole hell of a lot. She’d been exhausted lately. Exhausted, stressed, sick to her stomach…and come to think of it, she’d been so wrapped up in personal issues that she couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a period. It was certainly more than a month ago.
Which meant that she was most definitely carrying…her professor’s child.
“Are you alright, Ms. Cantor?”
Alice was snapped back to the present by Doctor Brighton’s concerned voice. “Do you feel weak again?”
“I’m…I’m alright.” The dark-haired young woman finally managed, even if she was anything but. She stared at the prescription in the doctor’s hand, her mind whirling.
Just when she thought things couldn’t get any worse. Life had a bizarre sense of humor, it seemed.
Hours later, the young woman sat sequestered in the bathroom of her apartment, staring at the three separate pregnancy tests on the countertop. Not as if she needed their confirmation after visiting an actual doctor, but, somehow, seeing the little two lines in three sets of windows made things seem a whole lot more real.
Alice placed a hand gently against her still very flat stomach, somewhere between terrified nauseous, despite the pills that the doctor had given her.
A baby.
She couldn’t have a baby right now. She was in the middle of trying to get her graduate degree – pulling all-nighters every other day and spending most of her time in the library. She didn’t even have a part-time job. She had stopped working when the university had offered her a small stipend as part of her scholarship. It was barely enough for her to get by on, let alone enough to raise a child.
The best thing to do would be to get rid of it. Honestly, what other option did she have?
…Besides keeping it, of course.
The very thought had her eyes sliding tightly shut.
There was no way. She couldn’t even take care of herself! She’d made all the wrong decisions in the past year – spending time with a professor she knew she had more than platonic feelings for, sleeping with said professor, neglecting her birth control when it was most important…what the hell kind of mother would she be?
Sighing, she took a look at herself in the mirror.
No one would deny that she looked a goddamn mess. Her dark hair hung sleek and haggard around her face and the circles under her eyes were dark and deep from a lack of sleep. Her roommate insisted that she worked too hard, but it was only in the past week or so – since the pregnancy had really started wreaking havoc on her body – that she’d felt so sincerely awful. It was physical and emotional turmoil all at once, and, for the life of her, Alice wanted nothing more than to collapse into bed and sleep it all off.
But she was an academic, not a complete pussy.
There were decisions that had to be made – first and foremost what she was going to do about this child.
Alice stared at herself, long and hard.
Could she really walk into a clinic and purge part of herself from her body?
Part of…him?
And then the next obstacle came into play…if she was going to keep the baby, she couldn’t very well keep it from Thomas. When her belly started rounding out the next semester, the man was bound to notice. Unlike her classmates, her professor was a very observant and acutely intelligent man. He’d probably be able to guess…which meant that they’d have to discuss it before it became an issue.
Slowly, Alice exhaled.
She would not, she promised herself, beg him for anything. She wouldn’t demand anything. That had never been her game and she never planned it to be. Certainly, her pregnancy hadn’t been expected, but her aim would be to simply speak to Thomas about things like a rational adult.
Even if the idea of being alone with him again, face t
o face, made her stomach tighten and her heart rate quicken.
Christ, Thomas. She missed him.
Resisting the urge to speak to him every time she found something new and exciting in her research was almost like a physical pain. Going to his lectures and forcing herself not to look at him akin to torture…
Surprisingly enough, the notion made her lips quirk in a slightly amused smile. She had to be a lit student if she was espousing to poetically on love and loss.
All at once, Alice stiffened.
Was that what this was? Love? Thinking about the man every waking second of the day, actually wanting to keep his baby when she might not have the means, needing his body against hers with every goddamn fiber of her being?
Well, she supposed that Shakespeare had known what he was talking about.
Her smile still lingering on her lips, the young woman tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ears as she rubbed her stomach fondly, imagining the life growing inside her. Whether Thomas wanted anything to do with the baby or not, she would always have a piece of him – a reminder of the way her heart swelled at the very sight of him.
And maybe, just maybe, that would be enough.
*****
Thomas had to admit that the end of semester stateside was a far sight less rigorous than they were in Britain. Here, students were required to do much less – a product of the education being stretched out over six years instead of the three required across the pond. This, in turn, lessened his workload considerably.
And gave him plenty of time to think.
At this stage he didn’t know if that was a blessing or a curse.
He stared down at a paper he was marking, trying to concentrate on the twelve point font as the gray clouds beyond his office window threatened snow. It would be the first of the season – and an idea he still hadn’t gotten used to. It almost never snowed in London. The weather there was far too mucky. If anything, there would be a disgusting coat of slush that covered the entire city in a layer of gray that served to dampen the mood almost as much as it sullied the streets. Here, he would see snow. They would cancel school when it happened - and he’d be allowed to stay home in his cozy apartment with a fire blazing.
Alone.
The thought made him frown.
The last person he needed to be thinking about right now was Alice Cantor. She’d already distracted him enough, and if the way she continued to act towards him was any indication, she had long gotten over whatever had once been between them.
A twenty-five year old woman was ready to move on before an experienced professor – he didn’t know whether to be insulted or amused. Alice continued to surprise him - which was probably why he wouldn’t be able to forget about her anytime soon.
Setting his pen down, Thomas ran his hand through his hair, taking of his reading glasses.
What he needed to do was get some fresh air. He had long learned that, as much as he loved his books, there was little that a jaunt around campus couldn’t solve. It was important to hone the body as well as the mind – and sometimes, his little sessions could be his salvation. He didn’t think he’d had a decent run since he and Alice had fallen out.
Maybe it was time to get back to his normal routine.
With a soft chuckle, he rose from his desk to reach for the bag hanging on the coat rack just next to the window. He always kept a set of jogging clothes there for when he decided to exercise on a whim, and he had no issue changing in his office. It was more convenient than making a visit to the men’s room, in any event, and cramming his tall form into a stall.
The statuesque man shucked his sweater off over his head and was in the process of unbuttoning his dress shirt when the door to his office creaked open unexpectedly.
Surprised, her turned to see one of his students standing in the doorway – a blonde in a second or third year class, he recalled. Her name might be Stacy or Stephanie, but her face was familiar because he remembered the way she licked her lips whenever he passed her desk.
In an almost predator-like fashion.
It amused him to say the least. Before Alice, Thomas dealt with his fair share of overzealous female students trying to throw themselves at him – half of them more than a decade younger than him. Somehow, he always managed to call on his British breeding to let them down gently, though he’d sent a number of them from his office in tears. American women, he’d decided, were brazen, and he’d have to be careful on a college campus where hormones were running high.
Of course, at this stage, his hormones hadn’t been in question.
“May I help you?” He paused with his hands on the second button of his shirt, slightly irritated that the young woman had barged into his office without knocking.
Without saying a word, she stepped into his office, closing the door behind her.
It was then that Thomas noticed the way she was dressed.
Practically transparent T-shirt and no brassiere – despite the fact that it could barely be above freezing outside – a skirt that barely reached her mid-thigh, high heels, and enough makeup to be the star performer in a drag show.
Dear God.
“Professor Lerner, I need to speak to you.” When she spoke to him, her voice was breathy with anticipation. “I have some questions about my term paper.” She crossed the room in four quick strides to all but plaster herself to his front, enveloping him in the scent of cheap perfume. Reaching up, he took firm hold of her wrists, his mouth pulling into a tight line.
“If you need to speak to me, I suggest you take a seat there and allow me to button up my shirt, Miss-”
“You can call me whatever you like.” She cut him off silkily, blue eyes half-lidded with lust as she all but wrapped a leg around him. “As long as you promise me a few private sessions, sir.”
Well, this one was certainly aggressive.
Clearing his throat, Thomas forced himself to swallow his annoyance, one hand curling into the young woman’s thigh in an attempt to get her to release her death grip on him. “I’m sure you’re aware of the policy between students and teachers here, and I have no intention of-”
Catching him off guard, she pressed her mouth firmly to his, and a low sound of surprise escaped him.
She tasted as if she’d been drinking alcohol, and Thomas grimaced against her lips, cursing his body’s reaction. If it weren’t for his mind’s recent turmoil, no doubt he would have been with a woman recently enough that he didn’t become aroused from the touch of an undoubted floozy – but as things were, he could hardly help himself.
Not that he intended to see things through. One kiss from his inebriated, dogged student was quiet enough.
Tearing his mouth from hers, Thomas opened his mouth to reprimand her – only to freeze in place.
His unwelcome visitor wasn’t, it seemed, the only student to come and see him.
Standing silhouetted in his doorway was none other than Alice, her eyes wide open as she stared at them.
It took a moment for Thomas to realize how compromising his position must look – and at that moment, Alice’s expression crumbled into one of the most intense pain he thought ever witnessed. Without a word, she turned around and ran out.
Leaving him in the arms of the campus harlot.
He quickly out of his trance quickly. “Jesus Christ, sod off.” The words left him on a snarl as the professor shoved his way from the blonde’s embrace. He paused just long enough to grab his coat from the rack next to the door before racing down the hall after Alice.
Bloody hell, he’d done it this time.
It was just beginning to snow as he burst out into the parking lot – and it took him a split second to find Alice’s hunched form making her way towards the library. “Alice!” He hurried to catch up with her, though he had no idea what he planned on saying. “Alice, wait. Please!” His legs were far longer than hers – and besides that, he was accustomed to running long distances. He caught up to her within a minute, taking one of her shoulders
in a gentle but firm grip. “I don’t know what you saw, but that wasn’t-”
“Don’t!” She cut him off, the sweet voice he hadn’t heard in so long taking on a sharp edge. “You don’t have to explain anything to me, Professor, trust me. You don’t owe me anything.” He didn’t know what hurt him more - her words or their tone. “It’s none of my business who you choose to fuck.”
He inhaled sharply. He wasn’t used to such vulgarities from her – at least, not outside intimate circumstances. He found it both angered and aroused him.
“I’m not fucking her,” He hissed in reply, his cultured voice low and taut with tension. “Though I’m sure that was her aim.”
“Well, it’s not very gentlemanly of you to leave her waiting like that.” Though the dark-haired woman’s voice was firm, her lower lip trembled slightly, as if she were on the edge of tears –and guilt consumed him. “No need to worry about me. I’ll catch you at a better time.” She attempted to pull away from him only to have him tighten his grip incrementally.
He wasn’t about to let her go now – not after going so long without her. “What did you want, Alice?” He forced his voice to remain neutral, even if there was nothing he’d rather do then toss her over his shoulder and carry him back to his car to desecrate the ever-loving hell out of the back seat. She was gorgeous, even angry, with snowflakes caught in her raven hair, her cheeks flushed with the passion he so adored. “To discuss a thesis, perhaps? Feedback on paper subject?”
To his surprise, Alice jerked from his grip in an unusual show of strength, her eyes gleaming with intense emotion. “You asshole.” The words snapped from her mouth like the crack of a whip. “I’m pregnant.”
For a moment, silence hung, thick between them, swirling among the snow.
Thomas just stared at her, his mouth slightly parted in shock.
Sucker for the Boss Page 10
