“Looks like you won’t be able to stay on the team after all huh?” Janice was laughing now as she zapped the four tests and bagged them. Carmela slammed a twenty dollar note on the counter and grabbed the bag. She could hear Janice say something to her, but she darted through the doors of the shop.
It feels like all I’ve been doing is running away from places and out in the cold, Carmela thought to herself as she walked back towards her dorm, familiar tears pricking her eyelids.
*****
Laura was sitting cross-legged on her own bed while Carmela was slumped on the floor, her back to her wardrobe. Laura had been quiet for at least ten minutes. Carmela blinked furiously, concentrating on the concentric circles on her printed skirt.
“So what you’re saying is, you are now pregnant?” Laura finally managed to repeat Carmela’s words, without any pleasure. All Carmela could do was nod and look away.
“And you’re sure it’s Rory Pritchett’s?” Laura asked again, this would be the third time. Carmela stood up hastily and started putting on her jacket.
“Yes Laura. It is his,” she said as she began to button up. She didn’t know why she was so angry with everybody. It must have something to do with her raging and changing hormones.
“Are you going to tell him?” Laura asked, sliding off the bed.
“Not in a million years. He doesn’t need to know,” Carmela said softly and she could feel the same dark gloom settling over her soul. Laura must have noticed it on her expression because she came over and gave Carmela a hug.
“Thanks Laura. I just need to clear my head,” Carmela said and wriggled herself out of her friend’s arms.
“Do you want me to come? We could go for some ice cream?” Laura suggested and positioned herself in front of the door.
“Thanks. But no, I need to think. I need to figure out what I want to do with my life,” Carmela said and pushed her way past Laura. As she opened the door, Laura gave a slight gasp, which is when Carmela looked up to find Rory standing in front of her.
“What are you doing here?” she blurted out, trying her best to avert his eyes. She couldn’t resist it though, his brown eyes, the messy blonde hair, the broad shoulders.
“I came looking for you of course,” he said and put on a fake grin. “Why else would I be standing and waiting outside your door?” Nobody laughed. It was hardly a joke.
“I’m going out,” Carmela said and flipped her hair over her shoulders. She was trying very hard to hide her own anxiety.
“It’s really cold outside,” she heard him say and rolled her eyes in response. Behind her Carmela heard Laura clear her throat loudly.
“I was just going out for some food,” Laura said even more loudly and squeezed past Carmela and almost ran away from them. Carmela looked after her pleadingly. Rory passed a half smirk and said, “She knows doesn’t she?” and stared at Carmela.
Carmela shrugged her shoulders, “You’re not the Boss of me. So now what, you’re going to sue me?” She tried to make her voice sound as nonchalant as possible. Without a response Rory brushed past her and entered her room. Carmela’s mouth hung open as she stared at his back in shock. Rory Pritchett was standing inside her room, looking around the space at her posters and the photographs that she had stuck on the walls.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Carmela managed to say and took a few steps inside her room.
“Just looking around,” Rory said, he still had that devilish grin on his face and Carmela tried to fight a sudden uncontrollable urge to lock lips with him. She remembered the way he tasted. She remembered everything.
“Your room is nearly just as neat as you,” he said and walked towards her. Carmela stood frozen in the same spot. The suddenness and absurdity of the situation were enough to put her in a tizzy. Rory was leaning in towards her and just as she thought that he was going to kiss her, he stretched his arm past her and banged the door shut. The sound woke Carmela up from her day dream and lusting after Rory’s lips.
“I told you I need to go out. So are you done here?” she nearly squeaked. There was no shred of confidence left in her voice.
“Almost,” Rory said and ran a finger along the spines of the books that Carmela had neatly arranged on a shelf. He was wearing a black leather jacket this day, while a plain white t-shirt peeped in from between its folds. She tried to look away but he had caught her staring at his chest.
He immediately came towards her and without warning, nudged her shoulder slightly so that she fell softly on to her bed.
“Rory. You should go now,” she said and looked away from him. She couldn’t bear to look into his eyes.
“Alright. I will if you really want me to,” Rory said. The smile had vanished from his face, and he had dug his hands into his pockets. While his eyes were still on her face, he looked serious and as if he were in deep thought.
Carmela kept silent and didn’t reply.
“So do you want me to?” Rory asked again and bent down on his knees in front of her. Carmela gulped and forced herself to look at him directly. Rory placed his warm hands on her knees and continued to look at her. Her emotions were on a rollercoaster ride inside Carmela and she couldn’t stop herself from shuddering.
She watched as Rory’s hand reached her face and with his forefinger he brushed her left cheek. Carmela closed her eyes. This is what she had been craving for, his touch. With the same finger he traced the curves of her lips and Carmela kept her eyes closed, enjoying the moment.
“Were you planning on telling me?” she heard his voice, deep and smooth, no hint of anger but a tinge of hurt. Carmela opened her eyes and looked at him sharply.
“What are you talking about?” she asked, her brows were furrowed. She didn’t appreciate being so rudely woken up from the wonderful moment that she was in the middle of enjoying.
“Janice told me. In fact she told a lot of people. So is it true? Is it mine?” he asked, not for one single second, taking his eyes off her.
*****
Carmela stared at Rory in shock. Somehow, her mind had blocked out the incident at the pharmacy since she had been too preoccupied with the test results. Now that Rory was telling her that Janice had gone about gossiping, she didn’t find it that hard to believe.
“Carmela? Is it true? I know exactly how much those girls like to gossip and spread lies,” Rory asked her again. His hands were on her knees, his face some inches away from hers. Carmela turned her eyes down and focused on the shiny metallic zipper on his leather jacket.
“Carmela…” his voice trailed and she finally looked up to him, she knew her eyes would have pooled up with water by now.
“Yes. Fine. Yes it’s true,” she said and jerked her legs away from him and got up hastily.
Rory was still on his knees and he turned around slightly to look at her, while she walked over to the door.
“Now that you’ve heard it from the horse’s mouth, are you satisfied? You can go now,” she was screaming. Thankfully it wasn’t that late in the evening and it was still quite noisy outside.
“Carmela. Is it mine?” Rory asked while getting up. She could see the worry in his eyes. She didn’t know what to say to him, the truth and maybe ruin both their lives, or a lie and only ruin hers.
Rory took a few steps towards her again, while her back pressed up against the door.
“I can see it in your eyes Carmela. It’s mine isn’t it?” he said, his voice was a whisper compared to her roars and she flinched when she heard him say the words.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked her.
“Because you wanted to have nothing to do with me remember?” Carmela yelled again and pushed past him to the center of the room again.
“That was because I wanted to take things slow,” he had raised his voice as well.
“No that was because you wanted to still have your regular share of girls,” Carmela flung the words at him. She could feel her throat hurting and her head aching. She sat down on her
bed and covered her face with her hands.
She could hear Rory’s footsteps approaching her.
“Carmela that isn’t true. I haven’t been with anyone since we were together,” he said, softly again and she could sense him standing in front of her, towering over her. Carmela still had her face covered with her hands.
“I just didn’t know how to behave around you. I wanted us to take it slow, but I’ve been missing you so much,” he said all of this in one breath, quickly, as though he didn’t want to lose the words he wanted to say to her. Slowly, Carmela took her hands away from her face and looked at him with tear-filled eyes.
“So why have you stayed away from me?” she asked him, her voice was finally lowered.
“You stayed away from me! I’ve been trying to catch your eye for the past fifteen days, but you’ve given me the cold shoulder,” he said with a short nervous laugh and bent before her again. For some reason, the sound of his familiar laugh, the smell of his masculine scent; all contributed to her feeling like things would be alright. She had stopped crying by now and she wiped the tears away from her cheeks. She breathed in deeply and looked at him again. The tears may have been gone but her eyes were still tomato red.
“I didn't want you to find out,” she said and bit down on her lip.
“Why on Earth not? Why would you not tell me that I’m going to be a Dad?” Rory said and stretched out his hand to gently stroke the top of her head. She couldn’t have imagined him being this affectionate.
“I didn’t think you would want to be involved,” she said meekly and looked away from him.
“Carmela,” he said authoritatively and she looked back at him, her eyes widened.
“It is my child. And I couldn’t have asked for a better mother for my child,” he said with a warm smile. His hands were still on her head and he cupped the back of her neck and pulled her closer towards him.
“But we don’t even know each other Rory,” she said, her voice was muffled by his shoulder as she lay down her head on it.
“We have eight months to figure each other out,” she heard him say and she couldn’t help but smile at him.
“Rory,” she said softly and lifted her head to look into his eyes. “I’m moving to New York in ten days. To look for a job,” she said and immediately dropped her gaze. She didn’t want to watch him being disappointed or hurt. Rory kept silent for a few seconds.
“So am I,” he said softly and she couldn’t help but meet his gaze. They were both smiling now. His hands were on her neck, as he pulled her to his chest and they kissed. The first few seconds were like a crazed passionate need, like they had been missing each other for a lifetime. The kisses softened after a few minutes, when they realized that this was actually happening, that they were actually there in each other’s arms. Carmela knew now that she would survive, that with Rory there, no problem would seem unsurmountable, and that they were being blessed with a child who would be loved and taken care of. She didn’t want anything more, nothing more than his arms around her like they were now. When Rory’s hands travelled to her belly, he patted her stomach gently and they both exchanged a look at that instance, like it was all going to be alright.
The Hockey Rock Star
Lorna didn’t exactly have a theme in mind when she was dressing up this morning, which is probably why she ended up more harlequin than she had hoped for. Her purple, cotton blouse stretched across her ample chest while the black mini skirt clung to her rounded thighs. The red shoes she was wearing was not her first choice, but they were the only sneakers that she could find, and they had to do.
More than anything else, Lorna did not want to look out of place at a hockey game. She had noticed already how the other girls usually wore track suits or short-shorts with matching crop tops to these games. Lorna however was well aware of how her stomach bulged when she wore such an attire. Instead, she tried to create the perfect balance between looking sporty and yet still be herself. “I have failed at achieving the balance,” she declared loudly to her friend Mimi as they walked towards the rink.
Mimi rolled her eyes and looked away. She clearly did not want to spend their only available Saturday afternoon attending a hockey game. “Why are we even going to this thing if you’re so conscious about how you look?” Mimi asked her, twirling one long black curl around her finger.
“Because I have started to enjoy hockey as a sport Mimi. It’s my thing now,” Lorna said, plastering a smile on her face, hoping that she was being able to convince Mimi adequately. Mimi rolled her eyes again and popped the bubble she had blown from chewing the gum in her mouth.
“Please Lorna. Who are you kidding? The only reason why we’re going is so that you can stare at Josh McKenna all day,” Mimi said and kicked a pebble with her feet.
“That is not true Mimi. I do enjoy hockey, Josh McKenna is just an added bonus,” Lorna said and winked at her best friend. “And I know you would never let me go embarrass myself alone,” she added and threw her arms around Mimi and gave her a tight squeeze.
Mimi shrugged her off and blew out a bubble again, “Have you thought about maybe umm…talking to him?” she asked, and Lorna could see that the hug had worked and she was now visibly more relaxed.
“Don’t be a fool Mimi!” Lorna nearly yelled, “What would I even say? And I can bet you big money that he already knows that I drool over him. I’d be so embarrassed if I had to begin a conversation with him,” she added and fiddled around with the leather strap of her sling bag. Mimi didn’t respond to that, so Lorna couldn’t tell if she had lost interest or was thinking about a different plan.
“Besides,” she continued, “What would we even talk about? How Shakespeare wrote his famous sonnets to a man and not a woman?”
That made Mimi giggle.
“Does he even know what sonnets are?” Lorna added and she inwardly regretted saying it, she didn’t need any more convincing that Josh McKenna and Lorna Walters were two opposite sides of a coin, in a universe where these opposite sides would never meet.
*****
Lorna and Mimi had found seats in the center of the bleachers. Mimi was happy about it because that meant she could read her literary journal without offending anybody while Lorna was glad because it gave her the perfect vantage point to be able to keep her eye on Josh constantly without him being able to notice her.
They had barely been sitting for a few minutes before Mimi took the literary journal out of her backpack and began reading. “Can’t you at least pretend to be interested?” Lorna asked, while at the same time keeping an eye out for Josh.
“I’m here aren’t I?” Mimi replied in a deadpan voice, her eyes were still on the book in hand. Lorna breathed out a heavy sigh of annoyance and gave one final sweep of the rink and the bleachers. With no sign of the teams yet, she pulled out the hotdog that she had stuffed in her backpack before they took their seats.
Lorna eyed her hotdog longingly while she looked at it from every angle. Yup, it seemed to have the right quantity of mustard and ketchup and the meat itself looked heavenly. She licked her lips and opened her mouth wide, directing the hotdog into her mouth.
That is when she saw him, and he was looking at her. Josh McKenna. His dirty blonde thick hair was combed back neatly, while his piercing green eyes were focused on Lorna’s open mouth. His chiseled jaw was angled in a mocking grin, while he stood leaning against a post at the bottom of the bleachers. He was in his jersey already, while his helmet hung loose from his hooked fingers.
Lorna froze. Her mouth remained open, while her hotdog was suspended midway between her hanging mouth. Their gazes were locked for a few seconds, while she could sense the trickle of mustard and ketchup running down her fingers. Josh was more than grinning, he had begun to laugh loudly and had leaned over to one of his teammates who was standing next to him. Josh whispered something in his ear and the other guy immediately turned to look at Lorna as well. Lorna still couldn’t seem to get her limbs to move or her mouth to close.
Some drops of mustard had fallen on her skirt by now.
“Lorna what the Hell?!” she heard Mimi cry out beside her, and she felt the hotdog being snatched away from her. Lorna’s eyes were still on Josh and his teammate who were chuckling and were now talking amongst themselves and thumping each other’s backs.
“Earth to Lorna!” Mimi nearly screamed into her ear. Lorna finally looked away, but not at Mimi. She hung her head down and she could feel her ears turning red with embarrassment. “Let’s just get out of here,” Lorna finally said, to Mimi’s relief.
*****
“Why wouldn’t you just stop staring?” Mimi asked. She was leaning against a pile of returned books, while Lorna was behind the library counter, scanning the barcodes on the books one by one.
“I froze,” Lorna replied, without looking up at her friend. The previous afternoon, they had run out of the hockey rink and Lorna ran in the direction of her own home, yelling back at Mimi to leave her alone.
“Well, why didn’t you want to talk after that?” Mimi persisted, she leaned over on the counter now, her face inches away from Lorna’s.
“Because Mimi, I was embarrassed and I wanted to be by myself,” Lorna said and finally looked up to face her friend. She could feel her cheeks burning and her ears turning red again. The last thing she wanted to do was discuss with Mimi how she had utterly and truly embarrassed herself in front of Josh McKenna.
She looked down again and continued scanning the returned books, readying them for shelving. She could sense that Mimi was now fiddling with her hair, the thing that she always did when she was bored.
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