“I don’t know what we would do without you in the house with Zia. So please, I beg you, don’t take those words to heart. She said it in a fit of rage. We wouldn’t want you to leave” he leaned in towards the coffee table and towards her again. The look in his eyes meant that his words were genuine and he was begging her to stay. Madison suddenly felt powerful, like she had a certain hold on him that he couldn’t deny. She could only smirk slightly in response.
“Please tell me you’ve not been thinking of leaving, Madison” there was a fear in his eyes as he spoke and she caught it. She wanted to throw back her head and laugh at him, laugh at his situation. The feeling surprised her. The man that she had been in love with, who had no idea how she felt, was begging her to stay.
“I certainly have been thinking about it” she said, somewhat triumphantly and watched as his eyes widened in terror. She uncrossed her legs and his eyes fell on the space between her thighs. She wasn’t embarrassed or blushing anymore. The look of fear on his face was enough to give her the upper-hand she needed to feel like she was invincible.
*****
“Madison, please don’t take this any further” Dylan stood up from his chair and hovered over her. She had to crane her neck up to look at him, but their eyes were locked together.
“I don’t feel secure in this job Mr. Silverman…Dylan” her voice was steady now. Even though he was standing above her, she still felt like she was the one in control.
“Think about Zia…” he began to say but she interrupted him.
“I have been thinking about her. That is why I didn’t leave in the last few months. Now I have to think about myself. As much as I love her” Madison stood up. She didn’t want to be sitting down while he remained standing over her. She realized then how much taller and bigger he was, compared to herself. Her nose was in level with the middle of his chest and he was still looking down at her, desperation in his eyes.
“I’m begging you Madison” he said gruffly and to her surprise, placed his hand gently on her left shoulder. She turned her eyes to where his hand touched the fabric of her t-shirt and she looked back at him. His lips were pink and swollen, hidden between the gruff brown beard on his cheeks. His hand remained on her shoulder while his eyes were focused on her lips.
“Please don’t Dylan. I have made up my mind already. I need to move on” she was about to turn away from him, but he stopped her, gripping her arm with his other hand. She felt a sudden tug towards him and her face crashed against his chest. She looked up towards his face, in shock and silent excitement. She still wasn’t certain if it was an accident or if he actually wanted their bodies to meet. When he didn’t pull away from her, she felt her heartbeat quickening.
They remained, embraced, in silence till she lifted herself up on her toes, to position her face near his chin. In silence, he bent his head down and softly grazed his lips against hers.
“You are killing me Madison. I’ve wanted to kiss you since you first walked into this house” his voice was still gruff and deep and his eyes remained locked on her lips. She could feel her fingers quivering as she raised them to touch his lips gently.
“I’ve wanted you since then too. Which is also why I have to go”, her voice was shaky now. The sense of power that she felt minutes ago, was now transformed to tenderness. She couldn’t believe this was happening, that he was about to kiss her. She licked her lips and in the next instance, his lips were on hers.
They were kissing passionately, the gentleness of the previous moment was lost, they both knew how this was a forbidden act and he seemed to want to devour as much of her as he could. His teeth tugged at her lower lip while her nails dug into the flesh on his arms. His hands had traveled from her shoulder and arm to the small of her back, which he clutched, pulling her even closer to him. She could feel her breasts squashed against his chest as he stroked her back while kissing her.
A soft moan escaped her lips as his tongue pushed its way into her mouth. She could taste him, feel his fingers on her body. His arms were strong and big around her body and she felt like she had shrunk in size. She wanted him inside her, his tongue inside her mouth wasn’t enough. She allowed her hand to travel down, down the length of his torso till she was able to gently cup him between his legs. She could feel him rising, moving, growing in size in her hands and she moaned again.
In an instant he had pulled his mouth away from hers and in one quick motion he had turned her around. Before she knew what he was doing he pushed her gently, bending her forward towards the armchair. She steadied herself with her hands, placing them on the arms of the chair as she sensed him tugging at her denim shorts.
The realization that he was undressing her, so quickly, with such desperation; made her wet between her legs. She shut her eyes tightly and moaned again. His hands found the silver button in the front of the shorts which he undid quickly and she felt the coolness of the air on her butt as he slid her shorts down. Immediately after that, he had slipped down her lace panties as well. She remained bent over the chair as she heard the rustle of him stepping out of his own pants.
“I’ve wanted this for so long Madison” she heard him mumble, almost to himself and without warning she felt his large hands grab her breasts from behind. She was still wearing her t-shirt but he didn’t seem to care. He held on to her breasts and squeezed them and at the same time she felt the push of his body against hers. He was entering her. He entered her slowly, slid in easily because of how wet she already was. She felt him big and hard inside her as he did it. Exactly the way she had imagined him all these days.
Once he was inside her, he grunted loudly while the armchair squeaked a little. He removed his hands from her breasts and clutched her butt instead. She could feel the pressure of his hands on her as he pulled out a little and thrust inside her. She moaned again. He was deep inside her this time and pulled out. Within seconds, he had developed a quick motion of thrusting inside her and pulling out and pushing himself inside her again. Each time he was inside her, she could feel him being able to stroke that spot in her which made her thighs quiver. He was bigger than any other man she had been with before, he was being able to stroke her in a place that had not been touched by several others before him.
Dylan pumped himself inside her repeatedly, in quick animalistic motion, while she moaned softly with every push. She could hear him grunting as he clutched her butt.
“Madison. You are delicious” he said and she moaned in response. His pace increased suddenly and she realized that he was teetering on the edge. She had reached it too. She allowed him to continue stroking, feeling his long self inside her repeatedly. She wanted to let go and enjoy the moment. Her toes curled and she gripped the arms of the chair even more tightly, pressing her butt tighter as she allowed her body to quiver with delight. She didn’t care anymore about how loud she was, she moaned and squealed as he released himself into her. She could feel him shooting in, the ooze of his release inside her belly. She had never felt this good before, she knew she probably never again would.
When her breathing relaxed a bit, she started to wriggle her body, which is when he began to pull out of her. She could hear him breathing raggedly and could feel the film of sweat that had formed on her back.
She straightened herself up after he had pulled out and looked around on the floor for her shorts. She was grateful that he had not tried to say anything yet.
She pulled her shorts up to her waist and while buttoning it, finally turned to look at him. Madison realized that her hair had come undone in the last few minutes, but she didn’t really care. Dylan was looking around for his jeans, but he turned to look at her as well. They held each other’s gaze in silence. He looked embarrassed and she wasn’t sure how she felt anymore.
“That was great Dylan. It’s the best goodbye present I could have asked for” she said with a sarcastic smile on her face. She straightened her t-shirt as he took a few steps towards her in silence. He still looked like he was afraid of som
ething.
“Madison. I’m sorry. This shouldn’t have happened. Not this way” he spoke timidly. All the authority which he usually displayed in his voice seemed to have disappeared.
“What are you sorry for? We both enjoyed ourselves” Madison tried to hold her head up. She didn’t want to think about the sleepless nights she was going to have over this.
“Please don’t say that this was a goodbye” he came closer to her and tried to touch her, but she inched away from him towards the door.
“I told you before Mr. Silverman. I’ve made up my mind” she opened the door of his study in a hurry and quickly stepped outside before he could stop her. She ran towards the stairs, she knew she would have to take a shower before she went to wake Zia. She also needed as much time to herself as she could possibly get.
*****
Within three days Madison had left a resignation letter on Dylan’s desk. She had heard back from a cafe in Chicago and they offered her the position of an Assistant Manager. This was her time to take the plunge, Madison had made up her mind about it, especially after how she now felt about Dylan Silverman. A physical need for him that overpowered all her senses. She was afraid of doing something absolutely stupid if she didn’t get out of the house.
He had kept his distance as well, clearly upset with her for having gone through with her threat. In the kitchen, on the evening, before she was set to leave for Chicago, she bumped into Kim who was sitting by herself with a bowl of salad on the counter.
“Is Zia asleep?” Kim’s voice was flat yet Madison could detect a hint of bubbling anger.
“Yes, she is. I put her to bed at eight as usual” Madison poured herself a glass of orange juice slowly. She wasn’t sure if she should leave the kitchen or stay, it definitely seemed like Kim had something she wanted to say.
“Have you told Zia that you’re leaving tomorrow and she won’t be seeing you ever again?” Kim pushed the bowl away from her and settled back in the chair. Madison took a sip from her glass and faced Kim straight on, probably for the first time.
“Yes, I have. We’ve promised to write each other letters. She understands that I need to go”. She tucked a strand of her stray dark curls behind her ear and picked up the glass in her hands.
“Just some general advice Madison. You need to develop thicker skin” Kim said with a snigger and crossed her arms over her chest. She was eyeing Madison, studying her from top to bottom with scrutiny.
“I don’t know what you mean Mrs. Silverman” Madison was not prepared to shy away this time. She had nothing more to lose.
“Just that if you want to survive in this world, you need to learn to develop a thicker skin. Not take to heart every little thing someone tells you in a drunken rage” Kim licked her lips and rolled her eyes. Madison tried to throw her a sarcastic smile, but she could feel her lips quivering. She couldn’t believe that Kim would say something like that, after the dozens of times that she had lectured Madison or threatened her job.
“And you should develop some manners Kim”, both the women turned to find Dylan at the kitchen door. Neither of them had heard him there. He was leaning against the door frame, with his work jacket flung over his shoulder. He appeared to not have trimmed his beard as neatly as he usually did and he had a sort of tiredness in his eyes that made Madison lose her voice.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Dylan” Kim snapped and started playing with the food in her bowl. Dylan moved his lips around, shifted in his position, but stayed at the door. He didn’t seem to want to be in the same space as Madison.
“Your bad manners and lack of respect has driven Madison away from this home. So that is my piece of advice to you” he said and Madison could see the two of them exchange icy glances.
“Whatever it is. We don’t have to have this conversation here, in front of her” Kim stood up from her chair. She looked like she didn’t want to be in the room anymore.
“Why not? As of tomorrow, Madison will not be a part of our lives anymore. Maybe she is the right person to give you some hard hitting feedback, don’t you think?” he swung his head to look at her and Madison blushed again. Just the fact that she could see him directly, could hear his voice, could trace his hands with her eyes, the very ones that had been gripping her butt a few days ago…made her voice stop in her throat. Their eyes met and he seemed to be saying something, trying to convey it with a look.
“I’m not interested in feedback from a babysitter” Kim said and pushed the chair back into position. She was about to walk past Madison and out of the kitchen, when Madison finally spoke up.
“See. Right there. I am much more than just a babysitter. My temporary profession doesn’t define me” she said it too loudly, impulsively, egged on by the encouraging look that Dylan had been giving her. That stopped Kim in her tracks and she jerked her head to look at Madison and then immediately at her husband.
“Whatever” she said after a few minutes of silence and rolled her eyes.
“Not whatever, Mrs. Silverman. That is the truth, so my feedback does matter. Because I’ve worked with you for a year and cared for your daughter. Take it from me, that child needs a different mother” Madison crossed her arms across her chest and glared back at Kim. From the corner of her eye she could see a smile creeping up on Dylan’s face. Those dimples, masked to a slight extent by his beard, had started to show.
“So what is this? Some kind of gang up against me by the two of you?” Kim threw her hands in the air dramatically and spat her words out at Madison, who continued to calmly smile.
“It is not” Dylan said slowly and Madison threw him a triumphant look.
“Just like your advice to me Mrs. Silverman. Mine to you is to form a better relationship with your daughter. That’s all” Madison shrugged her shoulders, while she saw how Kim’s face fumed with rage. She was balling up her palms in anger and looking for the right words to attack her with.
“I don’t care for your advice Madison. I need a drink now and it’s all your fault” with that she stormed out of the kitchen, past Dylan who had been blocking the door all this while. Madison nearly chuckled after she left, a sudden rush of bottled up emotions came gushing out of her system.
“Did that feel good?” she heard him ask and she turned her attention to him. They were alone again, and it made her knees feel weak.
“I guess so. I’ve been meaning to tell her this for months” Madison took another sip from her glass of juice and remained standing there. She knew she had to, but didn’t know how to say goodbye to him without breaking into tears. She had always been in love with him, since she first met him and now that they had sex, she knew she would never get over him. She would simply have to find a way to move on.
“I’m sorry to see you go Madison”, he was the one who spoke first and she nodded her head and looked away. Tears pricked the back of her eyes and she gulped them back.
“I’m sorry to go too. I’ll miss Zia” she didn’t want to look at him in fear that she would surely break into tears.
“I’ll miss you” he said and she could sense that he had taken a few steps towards her. She didn’t move away but she didn’t make a move in his direction either. The last thing she wanted was any kind of physical contact with him that she might hold on to.
“Madison…about that morning” he started to say but she quickly walked around him, forgetting the glass of juice on the counter. She didn’t want to talk about it. Not with him or anybody.
“I don’t want to hear what you have to say” she said softly, but through gritted teeth.
“I just want to say that I meant it and meant every word I said to you” he continued but she had reached the kitchen door by now. He fell silent, afraid of who might be able to overhear their conversation. She took that opportunity to turn around to look at him for one last time.
“Goodbye, Mr. Silverman. It has been a pleasure working for you. I will never forget you”, her lips quivered as she said the words and she
ran out and up the stairs to her room. She could hear Kim in the living room, talking loudly over the phone with a friend and relating to her every word that Madison had said to Kim earlier.
She didn’t care anymore, she wouldn’t have to deal with her hatred for Kim anymore, her absolute love for Zia or her desire for Dylan…ever again. She banged the door of her room shut and slid down to the carpeted floor. This would be the last time she’ll ever cry over them, she promised herself.
*****
Madison pulled off her name tag with force and stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. Her makeup had faded over the course of the day, and the curls had come undone, most of them fell in a mess around her shoulders. She sighed loudly and opened her medicine cabinet to look for the new face wash she had bought at the drug store recently.
She splashed some water on her face, it had been two months since she had said goodbye to Dylan Silverman and yet every time she had a moment to breathe, to be alone, she thought of him.
Her new life in Chicago kept her busy and she was already thinking of doing her Masters, that would be an ideal way to keep her mind occupied and allow her to look at the positives that life had to offer her. She wiped her face with the soft face cloth hanging from the metal rack next to her and that is when she heard the knock on her apartment door. She checked her watch, it was seven in the evening and she had barely made new friends in the city, she wasn’t expecting anybody.
She left the bathroom door ajar and walked over to the door. When she peeped through the hole, she thought she saw him standing outside. It couldn’t be, she tried to calm herself down, she looked again. He knocked again and this time, she gingerly opened the door, taking her time to think about what he could possibly want. Had something happened to Zia?
He was standing outside her door and the shock of seeing his face, after so many weeks, grabbed her by surprise. He had shaved off his beard, his eyes were sparkling and he was wearing a neat checked shirt and tailored linen pants. As always, the man of her dreams.
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