She lay back on the bed, and closed her eyes. Visions of the dining room table at Paul’s birthday party, floated before her once again. Tori and Jesse exchanging glances that told of their love. She smiled, remembering Ellie arguing so heatedly with Rachel over some point near and dear to the woman’s heart.
Michael with his family. Michael. How could she ever face him tomorrow and tell him she was marrying Clarence? He must never know how upset she was. No matter how difficult this would be, she had to convince him of her lie.
He’ll never believe you.
She rose and fumbled in her purse for her soggy handkerchief. Maybe she could leave him a note.
Coward.
Heidi splashed her face with the cool water from the china bowl on her dresser. She gazed in the mirror above the bowl. No wonder Mrs. Wilson had viewed her with skepticism. Red, swollen eyes peered back at her. She dipped the linen cloth into the water, and lay back on the bed, draping the cloth over her eyes.
She needed to steel herself for seeing Michael tomorrow morning. What would his reaction be? Would he beg her to change her mind? Or let her go, angry and bitter at another rejection?
Despite the ache in her heart, she was sound asleep before she even undressed.
****
Michael opened the door to the drug store, and headed to the back. Usually Heidi waited for him when he opened up, clutching the breakfast for the day. He smiled. They would have the rest of their lives to share breakfast.
He whistled as he fixed coffee, the way Heidi taught him. He shook his head. Heidi. With her golden curls, blue eyes, and stubborn little chin. Would their daughters look like her? Never would he have thought he would be proposing marriage again. After the hurt inflicted by Alice eight years ago, he’d been adamant never to expose himself once more to the pain of betrayal.
The sound of the front door closing caught his attention. Heidi’s steps were slow, faltering. His brow furrowed. Usually, she hurried to the kitchen, bursting with energy for the day. He pushed the curtain aside. Heidi stood in the aisle, halfway between him and the door.
“Heidi?” He started toward her. “Is something wrong?”
She shook her head, then held her arm up, palm out, to stop him as he grew closer. Her face pale, deep dark circles marred the tender skin under her eyes. Eyes that shimmered with tears.
His brow furrowed. “Honey, what’s the matter?”
“Can we go in the back and talk?”
“Sure. Come on.” He attempted to hold her hand, but she pulled back.
“Don’t.” She hugged her middle.
He moved to the back area, holding the curtain for her. “Can I take your coat?”
She shook her head, sat on the edge of the chair.
Her hands fumbled with her string purse, picking at small threads. She glanced at him, then at her lap again. Finally, she took a deep breath. “I have something to say.”
Michael pulled out a chair, and sat. Something dreadful had happened to Heidi. Even during her worst asthma attacks, she’d not been this pale. Her nervousness transferred to him, and his heart sped up. Once more he reached out to her, but she pressed back into the chair. As if afraid of his touch.
“Sweetheart, what’s the matter? Whatever the problem, we can face it together. Talk to me.”
She chewed her lip, and stared at the ceiling. “I’m leaving.”
“All right. Are you not feeling well? Don’t think you can work today?”
“I, ah…” She cleared her throat. “I’m leaving Guthrie.” When he didn’t respond, she added, “today.”
“Is something wrong with your papa? I know your mother is fine, because I just left her.”
“My parents are fine.”
Only the ticking of the clock broke the silence as they started at each other. Michael’s heart pounded, as panic seized him. “What is it, Heidi?”
“I’m going back to Oklahoma City.” Her voice faltered.
“And?”
She raised her chin, and looked him in the eye. “I’m marrying Clarence.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
All the air left Michael’s lungs in a rush. His stomach clenched, and he shook his head to clear his hearing.
“Did I hear you say you’re marrying Clarence?”
Heidi nodded.
His jaw tightened. “Is this a joke?”
She shook her head.
He reached for her, but she pulled away, and stood. “I have to leave now.”
“Are you kidding me, Heidi? Do you honestly think you can walk in here, state your intentions, and then leave?” He shoved his chair back and leaned against the counter, arms crossed.
If possible, Heidi grew even paler. The dark circles under her eyes resembled dual black eyes.
“I don’t understand. Can you please explain to me why you allowed me to make love to you, then decide to marry someone else?” His voice rose at the last few words.
She lifted her chin, although he caught tears shimmering in her eyes. “It’s for the best.”
“How do you figure that?” He barely got the words out, all the liquid in his mouth having dried up.
“My parents were right. My time here was merely an adventure, but now I need to do the right thing.”
“And marrying that lecher is doing the right thing? For who?”
She shook her head, her lips in a tight line, and rose.
He ran his fingers through his hair, and paced. “What did he say to you last night?”
“Not much.”
He moved in front of her, and rested his hands on her shoulders. “Heidi, you’re lying, but I can’t figure out why.”
Heidi shrugged his hands away, and backed up. “I’m not lying. After having dinner with Clarence last night, I realized the life he and my parents planned suits me better.”
Michael edged her chin up with his knuckle. “Look me in the eye, and tell me this is what you really want.”
Her throat worked for a moment, before she whispered through cracked lips. “This is what I really want.”
He wrapped his arms around her, placed his lips on her temple, and whispered. “What about us?”
Heidi pulled away from him, and fumbled with her scarf. “There is no ‘us,’ Michael. I’m engaged to Clarence, and I’ve never made a secret of it. I’m returning to Oklahoma City−today−to plan my wedding.” She looked up at him, her chin trembling. “My adventure is over.”
Before he could say another word, she turned and whipped the curtain aside, then left.
****
Shaky fingers covered Heidi’s mouth as she raced to the door, tears coursing down her cheeks. Her tears turned to sobs as she yanked the door open and fled to the street. She charged blindly, down the boardwalk, not even aware which direction she took.
She’d hurt him. The pain and misery in his eyes would torture her forever. The same eyes that had darkened with passion when they’d made love. The eyes that looked at her with warmth and caring. But she’d had no choice. Those same eyes would turn to coldness and disgust if she didn’t marry Clarence and he sent the letter to the newspapers.
After wandering around for a while, she took note of her surroundings. Her tears had ceased, but the ache deep in her chest had not. Like a piece of metal to a magnet, she’d been drawn to Michael’s house. The small yellow and white clapboard house seemed to mock her, reminding her she would never be its mistress. She followed the stone path from the street to his front door.
Heidi ran her hand lovingly over the white rocking chair on the porch as she approached the door. Before she could change her mind, she banged the knocker. Within a minute, her mother opened the door, drying her hands on a small blue towel.
“Heidi! Oh my dear. I’m so glad you’re here. Papa’s been beside himself since Mrs. Wilson told him you had gone to work, but weren’t at the store when he looked there for you.”
“Papa went to the store?”
“Yes. Michael said you’d quit, and
left right after he’d opened.” Her mother clutched Heidi’s forearms, and looked in her eyes. “Where have you been?”
Heidi shrugged, and stepped into the house. Papa came from the direction of the kitchen, concern written on his face. “Are you all right, sweetheart?”
“Yes. I’m fine.” She attempted a bright smile, and turned to her mother. “Did Papa tell you the good news?”
Mother slid her arm around her shoulders, and walked her to the kitchen. “He told me you’ve decided to leave Guthrie, and marry Clarence.”
“Yes. That’s right.” Her lip trembled, and she swallowed.
“Can we have some tea?” Her mother said.
Stay here and have tea in Michael’s house? In the house she dreamt of living in? Where she hoped to experience Michael loving her again and again? The thought of trying to swallow even just liquid caused her stomach to lurch.
“No. I would prefer to pick up my things from Mrs. Wilson’s and take the train as soon as possible.”
Her parents looked at each other, her mother’s mouth in a tight line, Papa’s brows furrowed.
“Heidi, I think we should discuss your decision.” Her mother took her hand, a gentle smile on her lips.
“No.” Heidi pulled her hand away. “My mind is made up, and I want to leave now.”
Mother sighed, and pushed the hair back from her forehead. “All right, dear. I’m all packed. Your papa can place my things in the buggy and we’ll get your belongings from Mrs. Wilson’s before we head to the train station.”
Heidi nodded once, and then turned on her heel and left the house. She climbed into the buggy she’d hadn’t noticed parked in front of the house when she’d arrived, and leaned her head back, wiping the tears trickling from her already swollen eyes.
****
Clarence ran his fingers through his hair, and paced in front of Gloria. A pile of suitcases sat alongside one long bench in the train station. A line of passengers snaked its way around the building, as trains pulled in and out on a fifteen minute schedule.
Gloria grabbed his hand as he strode by. “Darling, do calm yourself. She said she would be here. Believe me, I’ve seen the way she looks at Michael. She would do nothing to harm him or his family.”
“I will be calm when I see the bitch climb on the train to Oklahoma City.” His head jerked as another carriage entered the unloading area of the station. He squinted against the sun, and inhaled deeply. “Here they are now. I will see you tonight at your house.” He strode away from Gloria, and pushed open the wooden and glass doors. He snarled at the man who attempted to enter at the same time.
“Mr. Lester, Mrs. Lester, good afternoon.” He smiled and took Mrs. Lester’s hand after he approached the buggy. “I trust you’re having a good day?”
Mrs. Lester yanked her hand back, and issued him a tight smile. “Yes. Just fine, Clarence.”
He turned to Heidi. “My dear, I’m so thrilled to see you.” She ignored his outstretched hand, and alighted by herself, shaking out her skirts.
Clarence leaned toward her, and kissed her on the cheek. Heidi backed away. If the little bitch didn’t keep up appearances her parents would begin to notice. He glared at her, and moved his lips close to her ear. “Senator Cochran.”
Heidi’s eyes grew wide, and she chewed her lip, then gave him a slight smile. He took her arm in his and muttered from the side of his mouth. “Much better.”
The two couples boarded the train after Mr. Lester supervised the loading of their luggage. He and Mr. Lester settled in a double seat, facing Mrs. Lester and Heidi. His fiancée immediately laid her head back, and closed her eyes. Mrs. Lester studied him, as if to read something from his face.
He smiled at her, and looked out the window as the train started with jerks until a smooth rhythm developed, the clacking of the wheels soothing his nerves. He’d done it. After a month of chasing the girl, and dancing to her tune, he had her where he wanted her. Under his thumb. And where she would stay for the rest of their life together.
As the train whipped by trees with early spring buds, farmers plowing their fields, and women hanging wash, Clarence entertained himself with visions of the life Lester’s money would buy him.
He would ensure Heidi planned a wedding within the month. It made no difference to him what she and her mother wanted to do, as long as the wedding happened fast. No time for Heidi to grow a backbone and change her mind. No time for Michael the Savior to swoop down and claim Clarence’s bride. He had no idea what Heidi told the shopkeeper, but didn’t really care, either.
With a deep sigh, and a smile on his lips, he leaned his head back, and continued to enjoy the scenery as it sped by. Everything was going his way. And about damn time, too.
****
Heidi studied Clarence from underneath half closed eyelids. How she hated the man. He’d destroyed her life, for money. Money he intended to spend on himself and his mistress. Gloria! The name on her lips made her want to spit. All the time she flirted with Michael, she was nothing more than a whore. Worked in a brothel, and allowed strange men to do to her, for money, what she and Michael had shared.
She’d read in her Bible that the love of money was the root of all evil. If ever an evil couple existed, Clarence and Gloria headed the list. Weariness crept over her. She hadn’t slept much last night, and all the tears she’d shed had given her a tremendous headache and burning eyes.
“Heidi.” Mother’s soft voice murmured in her ear. “We’re here, dear.”
Heidi opened her eyes and stretched. Apparently, she’d fallen asleep on the trip home. Home. Oklahoma City−her parents’ home. Not her comfortable room in Mrs. Wilson’s house, or Michael’s cozy home.
She gazed out the window at the passengers alighting from the train. Did any of them feel as miserable as she did, returning here?
“Come, my dear.” Clarence stood, and tugged on the cuffs of his jacket. He held his hand out, his eyes challenging.
Heidi stood, shook out her skirts and took his hand. They followed her parents down the aisle, and off the train. A light mist fell, matching her mood. She stepped off the train, a sense of unreality washing over her. What am I doing here?
“Heidi, I’m so glad you’re home!” Mrs. Manfred hurried toward them, her arms outstretched. “Clarence wired me you were returning, and I’m so excited to help you and your mother with the wedding.” She beamed brightly, and Heidi’s jaw clenched.
Mrs. Manfred took her arm and dragged her along. “I’ve made an appointment with the dressmaker for tomorrow, so you can be fitted for your wedding gown.” She pulled her closer. “I’m so excited.”
Heidi walked along in a daze. She would be fitted for her wedding gown tomorrow? Apparently, she would have no time to adjust to the idea. She mentally shrugged. No matter. Probably best to get the charade over with, anyway. A sad way for a woman to think of her wedding.
“Mary, you must encourage Heidi to purchase some new gowns. Clarence tells me he wants to honeymoon in Dallas. There will be theaters and dinners to attend, and I understand Clarence has some clients there you will be entertaining.” Mrs. Manfred continued on and on until Heidi wanted to grab the woman by the throat. Instead, she merely nodded, and attempted to smile.
“My dear, I need to check in with my office.” Clarence patted her arm. “I’ll let you go on home with your parents, and I’ll see you in a few days to review whatever plans you’ve made.” He took her hand in his, and kissed her lightly on the cheek.
He turned to the Lesters and nodded. “Have a good evening.” He turned to Mrs. Lester. “I trust you and Heidi will be busy the next few days readying for the wedding?”
Her mother bent her head slightly. “Yes. We will. Good evening to you, Clarence.”
Papa left to arrange for a hackney to return them home.
The sound of Mrs. Manfred excitedly chattering about the wedding, the dress, the arrangements with the church, the flowers, and the honeymoon trip, bombarded Heidi’s senses u
ntil she wanted to scream.
Finally, her papa arrived, the driver having already strapped the luggage to the back of the buggy. They all piled in, and with a slap of the driver’s reins, the buggy started off.
Papa settled back in the seat, and addressed his wife. “Mary, maybe we should stop at a restaurant to eat a little something. I’m sure Cook is not expecting us.”
“That’s not a bad idea, dear.” She turned to Heidi and Mrs. Manfred. “Is that all right with the both of you?”
Mrs. Manfred shook her head. “Oh, I would love to, but I’m having Reverend Zigler stop by this evening. I’d hoped he would be able to squeeze us into the church for the wedding, without too much of a wait.”
Mrs. Manfred continued to babble on until the driver stopped in front of her house. The springs on the buggy groaned as she eased her considerable bulk from the seat, and turned to Heidi.
“I’m so anxious to see how lovely you’ll look in a wedding gown tomorrow, dear.” After a pat on Heidi’s cheek, she turned and took Papa’s arm. She never stopped talking as they proceeded to her front door.
“Mother, I’m not very hungry. Perhaps the driver could drop me off, and you can both enjoy dinner.”
“Heidi, I haven’t seen you eat anything all day. And I must say, there is something…”
Her voice cut off as Papa returned to the buggy and instructed the driver to continue on. She squeezed Heidi’s hand.
“Harold, I’m tired from our day’s journey. I think I would prefer to have Cook fix something simple for our dinner, if you’ve no objection.”
“None at all, my dear. I imagine we’re all a little tired, and we’ll be busy for the next few weeks.” He winked at Heidi and grinned at Mother. Neither woman acknowledged him.
Once the luggage had been unloaded, and the driver carried the bags into the house, Heidi and her mother climbed the steps. Heidi looked around, the familiarity, and strangeness, of the house she’d been raised in, overwhelming her.
A Prescription For Love: An Oklahoma Lovers book Page 19
