by V. Theia
“I love you too.”
It was impossible not to notice how her eyes followed him while he fetched a bottle of cold water from the fridge. He leaned over her and kissed her again.
How the hell was he gonna get through this if she didn’t want their kid?
He loved her wholly. Without restriction. Until death.
Her hands cupped around his neck before he could rise. He’d do anything to fix the worry etched on her face. Butcher smiled, rubbed their lips together. “Don’t worry, baby. You and me forever, got it?”
She nodded, smiling.
He wanted Roux, no matter what.
There was no one he loved more, this life and the next if he was lucky to have another with her. She was it for him.
So it was his girl he kept in mind when he rode to the drug store, bought what they needed and then got back to her. She was where he left her and his heart rolled in his chest.
“I’m scared to know,” she shared in the bathroom. “I mean, shit. I know already. It was pretty conclusive.”
“We’ll know for sure in a minute, baby, then we go from there, yeah?”
“I suppose we crossed over some relationship line if you’re watching me take a pee,” she half-laughed as he stood with his arms braced against the sink behind him.
Butcher sent her a grin in return. It didn’t feel out of the ordinary to him as she hunched over her knees and stuck a small glass between her legs and pissed in it. He wanted all the experiences with his Roux. There was nowhere he’d be but by her side. He couldn’t voice yet that he’d love to see her belly round with their baby. He wouldn’t enjoy her puking her guts up. But he’d love to be the one to take care of her morning sickness, bringing her all kinds of weird food and rubbing her aches. Fuck, he wanted that. Butcher was in many church meetings during Zara’s pregnancies when she called Rider, who’d take off at a moment’s notice to fuck his horny old lady.
He wanted that with the woman who was now washing her hands after she flushed. She was sending him side glances and then to the two sticks on the countertop.
“Come here to me, baby.” She slid over and wrapped her arms around him. Peace pulsed through his chest cavity when he felt her warmth up against him. He let his lips drift to her temple. “You are so fucking beautiful.”
She laughed and dug into his ribs. “Sure, I bet you say that to all the women you watch use the bathroom.”
There was his sassy woman. He dropped a kiss to her lips. “You took my bathroom virginity.” This made her laugh again and Butcher used that moment to pop her little ass onto the counter and step into the space her open legs made. He grasped her hips and put their faces together.
“I want you to know something, Roux.”
“Yeah, what’s that?”
She sneaked her hands under the hem of his t-shirt, sending riots of heat through her fingers into his torso. He was a sick bastard to want to fuck her right here while his girl was all messed up. He loved her and he desired her, that was never changing. He’d accept being a sick bastard because he’d fuck his woman any time of the day.
“You are the best thing in my life. I wish to God I hadn’t tried to do the right thing by leaving you alone. I want those four years back.”
“Me too.” She said fast, squeezing him.
“We’re here now and I know you’re scared, baby, but I want you to know, no matter what, it’s you and me. There’s no need to panic ‘cause we already got the best of the best right here.”
There was the slightest tremble to her lower lip before she tucked it under her teeth.
A life wasn’t anything if he didn’t have his Roux with him. He’d gone too long without her and felt fucking miserable, like he’d only been half awake. Could he cope with no kids for the rest of his life? Could he deal if she didn’t want to keep this baby? It would hurt like fucking hell, no denying that, but being without Roux was not even an option.
Butcher would choose Roux over anything and anyone.
She was it.
The top tier.
The grand prize.
His pedestal heaven.
Kids would be a bonus, sure.
Everything that came after Roux was the icing on what was already his idyllic cake.
So he’d deal. He’d always support her choices.
“I love you,” she breathed the words into his chest and he felt his mouth twitching. When she got sweet, it did a number on him.
“If I could grab handfuls of the world and rearrange it to make you happy, I’d do it. What would make you happy, Cookie? Tell me.”
“You. You make me happy.”
“Lucky then you already have me.”
“You could try and get along with my dad. That would make me happy too.”
Fucks sake. She chuckled and he edged up the corner of his mouth because how the fuck could a man refuse anything his woman wanted? Not Butcher. He wasn’t lying, he might as well be her very obedient pet. “You are a little shit to ask me that,” she grinned wider and snuggled into his body. “It wasn’t your dad’s lungs which got kicked out, baby. I never had a problem with him. He’s got one with me.”
Being civil with Axel was like trying to put a friendship bracelet on a snapping alligator. The guy had a fucking attitude a mile long. Sure, he could understand his point of view. Sort of. But he hadn’t even given Butcher a chance. No man would love Roux like he did. That was a fucking fact.
“Please try for me.” She coaxed, knowing full well she had him in the palm of her hand. Especially now with two piss sticks in the background determining their future.
“Fine. We can invite him over for burgers one night and I’ll try.”
“Steak. He likes steak.”
“Fucks sake,” he said without anger. “I’ll roll out the red carpet too, yeah?”
“You’re such a good man, Thaddeus. My man.”
“Damn right.” And then after a second of silence he kissed the top of her head. “It’s time to look, baby.”
There was no big fanfare.
Both Roux and Butcher knew the results already. He’d only gone to buy more tests so his girl had solid confirmation.
Both tests read “pregnant.”
Butcher’s heart soared.
He couldn’t help it.
They’d made a kid between them.
And he wanted it so fucking much.
As Roux discarded the tests into the trash can and he watched the rise of her shoulders go up around her ears, he knew she wasn’t at his level of happiness.
He came up behind her and draped an arm around the front of her body, putting his lips to her ear. “Meant what I said, Roux. It’s always you and me. Whatever you wanna decide to do. Love you more than I can say.”
He was no wordsmith, far from it, but the shit he said came right from his soul. The exhale she let go of went through his chest like she was relieved. He didn’t want her to worry or doubt his word, doubt their bond.
He was in this for life. There was no chance of shaking him off now.
“Love you.” He said into her ear.
“Love you back,” she replied, laying her head on his chest. “Can we … shelve this for now and talk about it another time?”
The cement in his gut solidified but he kept his voice even. “Sure, baby, whatever you want. You hungry?”
“I could eat.”
“Then let’s get my woman fed.”
It was far from ideal.
His Roux was pregnant and she was giving all signs that she wasn’t happy and all he could do was support her decision. He couldn’t claim he was a feminist, he had too many cavemen tendencies for that. Shit a modern woman would kick him in the balls for. He liked taking care of her, doing things for her. It was how he was wired, so if it made Butcher part caveman he was cool with that.
But he was a Roux’ist and that meant supporting her no matter what. He wasn’t gonna put his size elevens in it and open his fat trap with what he wanted.
Kissing the side of her neck he took her hand in his and walked them through the house to the kitchen.
For two days they didn’t talk about the elephant in the room.
Nor for the three days after that either.
Life went on as it usually did.
Every time he got her out of her clothes and pushed inside her, he reminded Roux how much he loved her. When she crested crying his name, clawing his back up with her nails, demanding more, he declared it over and over.
Butcher couldn’t say he was unhappy. Far from it.
He loved his Roux as much as he could with his words and his body, exhausting it as much as she needed him. What else could he do?
He felt as though he was wordlessly fighting for a life he desperately wanted.
But the cloud stayed above them.
Ready to spit out the vicious rain that needed to come.
THIRTY-FIVE
“The only DILF she’ll ever need.” - Butcher
The last thing Butcher expected to find when he exited the bathroom into their bedroom was to see Roux with her hand down the front of her boy shorts.
She was against the high headboard with her legs split down the middle and her hand rubbing unhurried.
Jesus fucking Christ.
His heart about gave up the right as his feet forgot how to work.
Lust and want came easy with Roux.
It lived and snarled inside him.
Now though? Watching her flushed face, void of any embarrassment being caught rubbing one out as her legs twitched in front of her. The lust was astronomical, and he groaned.
Blood coursed toward his groin. Hardening him fast.
“Cookie..”
“I was listening to you sing in the shower.”
The side of his lip curved. “And that got you worked up?” She bobbed her head, her flat belly fluttered in the way it did when he knew she was close. He prowled over to the end of the bed.
Everything about their bedroom said Roux now. It was only over a month since she moved in, but she’d soon put her stamp on everything. Where before it was just a house, she’d made it a home.
The peace Butcher felt was something he was holding onto with two hands.
Color decorated their bed and around the room. Around all the rooms. He didn’t even know how she made it happen, some female magic he supposed. The day after she’d moved in, he’d told her to do anything she wanted to it. He’d bought the bungalow with her in mind, with no chance of having her live there with him at the time. Then she’d fished his cards from his wallet, told him it was in hand and not to worry. He’d smirked thinking of the shit she’d buy and the dent in his bank account, but it was all worth it. To have Roux here looking at him through aroused eyes, spread on their bed, teasing him … every illegal penny he’d squirreled away was worth it, if she wanted to waste the whole fucking lot making their house look nice.
Why else had he busted his balls for years and invested everything he earned into several of the Souls businesses if it wasn’t so he could give his woman a good life.
Nothing else registered to him while he stared at Roux.
His heart and dick in possession mode as he emitted a low frequency grunt.
His cock was already at capacity behind his white cotton boxer-briefs.
Fuck, she smelled incredible. He loved her scent when she was turned on.
“Why didn’t you shout for me if you needed more?”
Her greedy eyes flared and desire bombarded Butcher’s body. Grabbing her ankles, he pulled her all the way down the bed. “Keep rubbing that little clit,” he issued with a rattle to his throat.
He loved seeing her touching herself, sexiest fucking sight, but it didn’t sit right with him that she needed more and hadn’t told him.
The elephant in the room was still standing over in the corner, not being addressed. Not talked about. For more than a week now they’d ignored the fact that Roux was pregnant.
He wanted nothing more than to talk it through, see where her head was at. Ask if she’d come to a decision. Everything was so up in the air, Butcher knew he had to broach it with her soon, even if Roux didn’t want to face it yet.
The only true thing they’ve had between them this week was how hard they’ve gone at each other. Was it the spike in her hormones or a tactic to reorganize her brain by thinking of his dick and not their baby? Whatever it was, they’d had a lot of fucking sex and what dim-witted guy complained about that?
Butcher grinned and licked his lips. Already the front of her cotton panties had a damp patch. One he wanted to press his face to and inhale. She was a drug and him the addict.
Her lips open, eyes cast in lust, with her porcelain skin turned pink. She was so fucking beautiful, he could barely stand not fucking her like a damn dog.
Butcher stroked a hand up her calf to her thigh, watching her slow methodical strokes on her pussy. He loved that she knew what she liked to get herself there, but he wanted to be the one to make her come.
“Slow down,” he said, and he watched her breath falter. Her fingers didn’t stop. “Slow down, Roux. I don’t want you to come.”
“You know I hate taking orders.”
Leaning over her, his belly touched hers, trapping her hand between them. All at once her eyes fired like his spitfire.
He did know she bristled against anyone telling her what to do.
“Do I ever make you feel weak?” She didn’t answer, but her eyes never faltered. He kissed her chest, and then sucked on a nipple. She moaned and speared her fingers through his hair. “Do I ever make you feel less than a fucking goddess?”
She shook her head.
“If I give you an order in the bedroom it’s not to be a prick, baby. It’s so I can make you feel so fucking good because that’s my only job.”
“Baby…” she breathed, reaching for him.
“Let’s see how far I can bend this sexy body of yours so I can do what I need to do.”
She smiled so wide that he felt that shit hit him in the gut.
He didn’t stop his prowling, not until he braced over her body and he replaced her hand down her panties with his.
The wetness to greet him nearly sent him to an early grave.
Sweet fucking hell.
They’d fucked on and off most of the day, he’d come home early from the club and she’d attacked him before he was through the door.
He thought he’d sated his girl but here she was sopping wet and moaning up into his mouth.
“Ah, fuck, Cookie. Get me hard.” She cupped him through the shorts, and he hissed.
“You’re already hard.” she rolled off her tongue. Sexy as sin. Twice as seductive.
“Get me harder,” he demanded, finger-fucking her.
She started pumping him through her fist, he dropped his head to watch and swore he was about to come all over her pretty underwear.
Things heated up pretty damn fast. There’s no off switch where his desire for her is concerned. She launched into an orgasm the second his fingers started riding over her G-spot.
“Ah, fuck. Roux. Stop moaning, stop fucking moaning or I’ll put my hand over your mouth.”
“No, you won’t,” she laughed with a teasing glint in her pleasure glazed eyes. And didn’t his woman tighten her hand around his cock and jerk him hard. “You like hearing my moans and cries, don’t you, baby?”
Fucks sake, she had him there.
He whisked their underwear off between her eating kisses. “Hands and knees,” he ordered and when she went on kissing him, it was Butcher who flipped her. “I said hands and knees, Cookie.” Her startled laugh died into a whimper when Butcher fixed himself between her spread thighs and fed into her heat with no pre-empting other than to put his hand between her legs and slide over her clit.
Her eyes wild and dark over her shoulder, so lovely that his thrust came deep so he could watch how she took him. Heaven.
; She dropped her forehead to the sheets below, he stretched her arms over her head, holding them down. That’s how Butcher took his woman, until the pleasure made his skin tingle and her cries of his name would stay with him for hours.
Sex had never felt as good as it did with her.
And he could fuck her around the clock, so long as his dick didn’t fall off.
But they were under a timer, one he held himself in check with by biting his tongue.
If they didn’t talk soon…
But then his brave girl showed what she was made of when she curved up into his side later when he’d cleaned them both up. She was playing with his chest hair, tiny demon tugging it a little when she spoke.
“I don’t think I’d be a good mom.”
His heart skipped over a beat and he turned on his side to fully see her.
“Look at the example mine set. She took one look at me and headed for the hills.” Her tone without nuance. Her emotions were not, and Butcher hooked up her hand, lacing their fingers together. “I’d probably be the same, Tad. Then you’d be stuck with a kid too.”
Oh, his sweet tough Cookie. She’d carried that thought with her probably her whole goddamn life. He led her knuckles to his lips and waited for her eyes to lift and meet his. “If your dad was here he’d tell you he was anything but stuck with you.”
She cracked a little grin that took some of the hurt from her face. “If my dad were here right now with us naked, you’d be in deep trouble.” He answered her grin, kissed her hand again. “Fuck her. Your mother didn’t deserve you, but don’t ever think you’re like her, Roux. You care for all those Diablos bastards like they’re your kids. How many times have they called you this week to do some shit for them? It’s a lot. Look at me, you’re nothing like her.”
Silence entered their bedroom where she played with his fingers for a minute.
“I thought, if she was a junkie I’d feel better about her ditching me.” She started. “But she’s not.”
“Your mom?”
“Selena. Yeah. I saw her.”
This he didn’t know.
“When?”
“Remember the night Poppy was drugged and we…”
