“Tara.” Alex’s voice was careful, controlled. “If they do rescind the law, it’ll mean every Werewolf within The Cause and without will be fair game.”
Understanding dawned slowly, almost as if my mind could shut it out if I concentrated hard enough. “This is war,” I whispered.
Neither of them corrected me.
Chapter Eighteen
The airport made me claustrophobic. Between the crowds shoving past with wheeled suitcases in their grasp, beeping golf carts whizzing by with handicapped patrons, and overlapping voices announcing flight arrivals via staticky intercoms, I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t breathe.
CHAS was evil. CHAS was the enemy. And they were coming for me and everyone I loved.
I thought about the conversation I’d had with Wes right before I left, about being scared of what it all meant. I’d gone on about not being ready for the responsibility that would come with the choices in front of me. I could barely face who—and what—I was, and now I’d have to fight a war that centered on that very fact. Not choosing was no longer an option. I couldn’t run from something like this. It was too big, and way too late for that.
Someone yelled. I was too wrapped up in my thoughts to focus on the words. Alex pulled me out of the way just in time to avoid being run over by a security guard on what looked like a two-wheeled hover-craft.
“Watch it,” I said, not that the guy heard me as he zipped down the concourse.
A monotone voice overhead announced our flight. Grandma shuffled us toward the terminal. At the ticket counter, the woman handed us our seat assignments and we filed onto the plane. I felt better when we stepped inside the cabin, like we’d finally made it to safety. Not that we were in danger before, not directly, but the amount of adrenaline running through my veins argued otherwise.
We ended up with two seats together and one three rows behind.
“You guys sit together,” Alex said, shuffling toward the seat further back. “I’m going to catch a nap.” He stowed his bag and flopped into his seat, his eyes closing before I could respond.
Grandma motioned for me to take the window. As she stowed my bag, I checked my phone. A new text from Wes: love u. miss u. C u soon. Probably all I’d get until Grandma said otherwise. Sidestepping my mother was one thing; I wasn’t sure he was brave enough to do the same to Grandma.
The prompter hanging above my head blinked on, indicating it was time to turn off all electronics. I closed my eyes, searching for the mental cord that tied George and me together. I felt his mind, calm and steady, as it had been since I’d left Astor’s. What was he getting from mine?
Grandma settled in her seat and pulled out a book, the cover of which had bloody-faced zombies being chased by people with large guns. “Looks good,” I said.
“Oh, it is,” she answered, completely missing my sarcasm.
How could she talk of war and espionage one minute and lose herself in a make-believe story the next? I wished I could turn it off so easily.
I leaned my head against the window frame, trying to distract myself by staring out at the runway. The sun dipped below the horizon, leaving behind a pinkish glow as twilight crept in. It was beautiful in a way that was nothing like home. So much open space, not a tree in sight. It wasn’t what I was used to, but I could appreciate it.
It wasn’t long before the plane eased forward and the flight attendant’s voice droned out over the intercom as he pointed out the emergency exits.
Somewhere between takeoff and thirty thousand feet, I drifted off.
*
My mom was on the front steps when we pulled up. She slapped the single bright yellow rubber glove against her thigh to an impatient beat only she could hear. I was suddenly very glad for the Hummer’s tinted windows—she couldn’t see my fear. Grandma parked and we all got out. I scurried to help Alex with the bags, but he waved me away.
“I’ve got it,” Alex said, swinging our bags over his shoulders.
“You go on ahead,” Grandma said with a wave. “Alex and I need to chat.”
My shoulders slumped. I swallowed what felt like a lump of cotton balls. Time to face the music.
“Hi, Mom,” I mumbled when I got close.
She stopped hitting the glove against her leg. “Hello, daughter,” she said. She only called me “daughter” instead of Tara when she was seriously pissed.
“Kitchen?” I asked.
“Oh, yes,” she replied.
I led the way.
The smell of bleach hit me before I’d crossed the threshold. My eyes watered and my throat burned. I slid onto the barstool, careful to breathe out of my mouth.
“Geez, mom, how do you stand it?” I croaked.
“If you’re in here long enough, you don’t notice it after a while.”
“You mean your sense of smell burns away.”
Her left eye twitched. She gripped the counter with white knuckles. “It wouldn’t smell like this if you’d stop running off,” she snapped.
“I did it to save—”
“Spare me the ‘I’d do anything for my friends’ speech, Tara.” Her eyes dimmed and instead of angry, she looked exhausted. “I know why you went, who you went to see, all of it.”
“All of it?” I repeated. I wasn’t sure what those words really meant when it came to my mom. She rarely knew all of it anymore. Maybe she thought she did but—
“Yes,” she said, “the bond, your shifting, CHAS. All. Of. It.”
I shrank further into my seat. Apparently “all” meant “all.” Grandma shuffled in with Alex in tow. He had his hoodie balled up in his hands, covering the lower half of his face. His eyes watered. Somehow, Grandma’s remained dry.
“Where are you going?” my mom called to her as she passed. “I thought we were going to do this as a group.”
“Elizabeth, I am not doing this in here. It reeks. I told you not to worry.”
“This is me not worrying,” my mom snapped back.
Grandma shook her head. “Well, I’m not staying in here.”
“Where do you want to go? And do not say we can all squeeze into your bedroom,” my mom said.
“It is the only fortified room in the house,” Grandma said. My mother glowered at her. “Fine, fine, we’ll go out to the backyard. Where’s Cambria?”
“Out with Derek.” My mom glanced at the stove clock. “She should be home soon. I told her you were on your way.”
“She’ll find us. Let’s go.” Grandma motioned for Alex to follow. They stowed the bags along the wall below the stairs and headed for the back door.
“Tara, move it,” my mother ordered when I didn’t follow fast enough.
The backyard was lit by motion-sensor lamps mounted at the edges of the mulch beds. They lit one by one as Grandma passed by. She didn’t stop until she reached the gazebo.
“You think it’s safe to talk out here?” my mom asked.
“Safer than breathing those death fumes,” Grandma said. “I told you not to worry.”
“Please, Mother, you of all people should know how impossible that is for me.”
“You’ve got that right,” Grandma said.
She zeroed in on me just as I sat on the edge of the wooden bench, nearest the doorway. Even without walls, I felt caged. Mostly by the locked stares I got from the others. “All right, Tara, here’s the deal,” Grandma said. “You’ve been keeping us in the dark for a while now. That stops tonight. You’re going to start from the beginning and tell us everything. Don’t stop until you’re finished. We don’t care how long it takes, so go slow. We don’t want you leaving anything out.” When she was done, she folded her hands in her lap, as if patiently waiting. Despite her easy expression, I knew what she’d said hadn’t been a request.
“Everything?” I repeated.
“Everything,” my mom confirmed. She didn’t sound nearly as friendly or patient as Grandma. Across from me, Alex slouched against the wooden bench.
“Starting from when?” I
asked.
“The beginning,” said Grandma.
My brows went up. “So… birth?”
“How about the night you found out you were a Hunter,” Alex said. I remembered the promise I’d made that I’d tell him everything when there was time. His brow rose, daring me to refuse. “You promised.”
I sighed. “I promised you. Not them. And for the record, it’s not like you’ve both offered up anything that would help make this easier on me. If I’ve kept things from you or done things you don’t like, it’s only because I was forced to find answers on my own.”
“Point taken,” Grandma said. “I know you think we’re making you do this because you’re in trouble—” Grandma began.
“I’m not?”
“Oh, you are,” my mom put in, “but that’s not why we’re doing this. Not completely.”
“We need to know so we can protect you,” Grandma said. “And we’re family, which means we’re there for each other.” I tried not to roll my eyes, but I couldn’t help it. “Okay, so maybe we haven’t done so hot on the second part before now, but we’re changing that tonight.” Her voice hardened. “Start talking, girlie.”
I opened my mouth, fully prepared to fire back with something about how the women in this family needed to learn to open up, and why did it have to start with me instead of them—but instead, I started talking. The whole story. From the beginning. Just like they’d asked.
Somewhere during my monologue—which took close to an hour—I realized I wasn’t looking at my mother or Grandma. I was looking at Alex. Watching him react to all of the wolf stuff should’ve made it harder but it didn’t. It made it easier.
I admitted how I’d killed Liliana more out of confusion and fear than any real malice. How Wes had to erase my memory of it because of how badly I’d freaked out after. I especially didn’t look at my mother during that part, too afraid to see the look on her face as she remembered that morning, thinking I’d been sick with the flu.
Then about meeting Jack and Fee and all of the training I’d done with Jack while I waited for Leo to make his move. I heard my mom’s sharp intake of breath when I told her about the bite and how Wes had carried and then driven me to Fee. She’d never even known how close I’d come to dying. Realizing that made me feel guilty for all of the things I’d never told her about my new life. When I got to the part about Julie and the bloody message scrawled at the scene, she’d started to interrupt, but Grandma patted her hand and she stayed silent.
I kept my eyes locked on Alex. His expression remained neutral. More than once, I saw emotion creep into his eyes. Concern. Empathy. Anger. But he never looked away, and I never saw the one thing I feared above all: disgust.
Then I got to the part about Miles. How he’d fooled everyone, including me, up until the time he’d come on to me in that warehouse. I’d forgotten about that until today—blocked it out—and the look on Alex’s face was pure revulsion. Exactly how I felt inside.
I hurried on in my retelling. On to Wood Point Academy and the weird messages, the hints from Miles that he was creating something that would carve out a place for him and me as leaders. I told them about Miles appearing to me in the woods that day. How he’d held me with his arm around my neck and whispered things that made me feel like no amount of showers would ever erase the grime he left behind. Alex scowled and his knuckles whitened where he gripped the edge of the bench.
Still, I went on. I even mentioned seeing Victoria’s parents in the clinic that night, and overhearing Kane insist on secrecy. Alex didn’t look nearly surprised enough at how much I’d heard. I’d assumed he’d guessed it. I did leave out the more personal parts. Like Alex’s kiss in the woods the day I’d seen Miles and his offer—or threat—to do it again when he thought I wouldn’t feel guilty about it after. I faltered in my story as the memory of it washed over me and then quickly hurried on, wondering if he’d been thinking if it too.
Alex’s expression was intense, his eyes locked firmly on mine, unblinking, as it had been since I’d begun. I paused, drawing strength from his steady gaze, before describing the next part. Because all of that came easy compared to my massacre in the woods.
Slowly, haltingly, I recounted that night. How they’d attacked first. The countless pairs of eyes, bright yellow with murderous intent, stalking toward us in the woods. How Wes had gone down and something inside me snapped. And when I’d come to, all that was left were bodies. Broken. Bloody. Dead. How I’d reeked of wolf after. And how Wes grudgingly agreed not to tell anyone until I was ready. Until now.
I paused, so sure someone would speak up, unable to remain quiet any longer. But none of them did. Alex didn’t waver in his silent intensity, but now I wasn’t sure if it was encouragement or simply a loss for words.
I went on. About Bailey and the trip to the lake that began so innocently and ended so tragically. About George, and my promise to him—to myself—that no matter what, I’d save him. Because Miles couldn’t be allowed to win.
I mentioned Wes’s contact in DC disappearing and told them about my trip to Astor’s. Seeing Victoria’s parents in the road, almost shifting. The metal testing, his explanation of what my father had done in suppressing my Werewolf gene. And how it was now struggling to break free, especially when I felt threatened. I told them about the bond with George.
Alex’s eye twitched at that part, but otherwise he remained immobile as ever.
Finally, I told them about what Victoria’s parents had said, about Olivia—whoever she was—and her using them to get to me, using all of the hybrids to hunt me.
I finished and licked my lips, rubbing my hands back and forth on my jeans. No one spoke. I tried to imagine what Alex was thinking. I stared out into the woods even though I couldn’t make out anything but shadowy limbs in the darkness. The crickets and cicadas seemed abnormally loud. As did my heartbeat.
Grandma broke the silence. “Baby girl …” she trailed off. I met her eyes, hearing something in her voice I hadn’t expected. Heartbreak.
Beside her, my mother’s face caught my eye. Something shimmered there, just under her eye. She reached up and swiped it, and I realized it was a tear.
“Honey,” my mother said. She got up and crouched in front of me, the tears streaming freely now.
“Mom, I’m really sorry,” I began, sure she must be furious to be so quiet—and crying. Instead, she wrapped her arms around me and smoothed my hair.
“Do not apologize ever again. Not for this. I’m the one who’s sorry. I should’ve been there. I should’ve tried harder to understand. Please forgive me,” she said.
I didn’t answer until she pulled away. I didn’t know what to say. The last thing I’d expected was an apology. I couldn’t help but be a little suspicious that I wouldn’t be grounded for life when it was all over. “I forgive you,” I said.
“Tara, we appreciate your honesty,” Grandma said. It must’ve been some sort of signal to my mom because she slid back onto the bench. I braced myself. “We know how hard it was for you to tell us all of that. Very brave. And now that we know everything, we can help you.” She glanced at Alex. “You’re still on board?”
“As long as you need me,” he said. The deepness of his voice sent a shiver through me.
She nodded. “Alex is going to train you this summer,” she said to me.
“Train me? For what?”
“This thing with CHAS isn’t over and we want you fully prepared. As much as we’d like to lock you away for your protection,” she threw a glance at my mom and continued, “we can’t do that. At some point, you will face an enemy. That’s a given. We want you as prepared as possible.”
“As for the wolf side of you, we’ve got Jack and Fee for that,” my mom said. “I’ve already spoken with them and they’ll help you develop it as much as they can, though there’s not much precedent for this sort of thing. Vera’s checking the Draven records to see if some family, somewhere, ever recorded anything like this.”
“You’ve already spoken with them?” I echoed. “So you knew about me turning?”
She gave a small smile, as if sharing a secret. “I’ve known something’s up for a while. Then, when you left, Cambria confirmed some things.”
“You seem pretty calm about it,” I said.
“I’ve had a little time to digest,” she admitted. “I’ve been meeting with Jack for a few weeks now. He’s been slowly filling me in on what I’ve missed these past years, helping me ease into it.”
“Ease into what?” I asked.
“Being a Hunter again.” Her face contorted and I could see her struggling for words. Her eyes glistened again. “After losing Julie and everything with Leo … it’s been hard. I never wanted to return to all this.” She extended her arms, as if to include this very conversation. I felt a pang at the memory of Julie, my mother’s assistant at the shop. Leo had killed her and left a bloody message at the crime scene, addressed to me. My mother went on, “But I have no choice, and I’m willing now, especially if it means protecting you and being a bigger force in your life. I’ve let you be on your own too long. I don’t want to do that anymore.”
“So, you’re going to what? Hunt again?” I asked. I couldn’t help the disbelief. My mother, the Hunter? The mental picture was even more ludicrous than Grandma in a battle. And even that was something I’d had to see to believe.
She twisted the glove still in her lap. Obviously, she wasn’t excited about the idea, either. “If it comes to that,” she said.
I wasn’t sure I believed her, but I let it drop.
“So, back to training,” I said. “And in the meantime, what? Are we going to keep looking for the hybrids?”
“The first step is to find out who Olivia is,” Grandma said. “I’ll get some people working on it.”
“What about Victoria’s parents?” I looked back and forth between Grandma and Alex.
“What about them?” she asked.
“Last I saw, they were in CHAS custody, heavily sedated. How’d they escape?”
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