“Yeah, so what? Sucks for him.” He leaned in again. I stopped him with a hand on his chest.
“So, that’s weird. I can’t just do this with you, knowing he can feel what I feel. It’s … gross.”
“He can learn to ignore it,” he said.
I pushed him harder, enough that he didn’t try to kiss me again. “I don’t know if that’s possible,” I said. “I can’t turn it on and off, so I don’t think he can, either.”
He shook his head. “I’m going to wish you never saved him, aren’t I?”
I attempted a smile. “Probably.”
Chapter Twenty
Everything hurt. I wasn’t sure I’d survive my mom’s schedule for long. By the time I got to Jack’s, my legs were liquid and my arms were dead weight at my sides. Some of it was my own fault—tackling Alex had consequences. The rest was evidence that two weeks without a workout was too long.
My mom stopped the car next to Jack’s truck. She’d insisted on driving Cambria and me, since Grandma and Alex had “things to do,” as they’d said before disappearing after lunch.
“I’ll be back at four,” she said through the open window.
I nodded.
“See you later,” Cambria called. She waved as my mom made a loop and started back up the drive.
“Slow down,” I said, falling behind Cam as she hurried toward the front door.
“Oh, sorry,” she said, eyeing me. “You look like crap, you know that?”
“Thanks.” I rolled my eyes and resisted the urge to point out that she’d gotten two more hours of sleep than I’d had. It wouldn’t have changed the fact that she was right. “Why are you in such a hurry, anyway?” I asked.
“Derek’s taking me out,” she said.
“You suck.”
“Why, because your house arrest doesn’t apply to me? Yeah, I know.”
“Only because you were the whistle-blower.”
She shrugged “A girl’s gotta do …”
“Yeah, yeah.” I waved a hand. “Where’s he taking you?”
“Some hole-in-the-wall bar we went to last week. He knows the owner. Their pool tables are in pretty good shape, and the music’s decent.”
I stopped walking to glare at her. “You know, I hate you a little bit right now.”
The front door opened and Derek stepped out, his tanned skin a stark contrast to the crisp white of his beater. “Oh, hey, Tara,” he said, sounding friendlier with those three words than he’d ever been.
“Hey.” My greeting came out guarded and his gaze on me sharpened.
“Listen, about the wolf thing …” I braced myself while he seemed to search for words. Finally, he shrugged. “Pretty cool.”
I blinked at him. Whatever I’d expected, it wasn’t that. He didn’t seem bothered by my lack of response. His eyes lit up as he caught sight of Cambria. I watched him drink in the amount of exposed skin on her body. Between her halter and cutoffs, she showed more than she covered.
“You ready?” he asked. His voice dropped an octave. It might’ve been funny if my desire to go with them, to slough off all the war talk and impending doom, and pass the day with a pool cue and jukebox wasn’t so unbearable.
“Ready,” Cambria told him. To me she said, “Babe, good luck.” There was sympathy in her words. Derek took her hand and led her to Jack’s truck.
I rubbed my hand over my face, resisted the urge to scream, and went inside.
I found Fee first, bent over a pot on the stove. The kitchen was bright and shiny and free of any baked goods, the complete opposite from how I’d seen it last. I caught the scent of something pungent and bitter.
“Hi, Fee,” I said.
She turned from the steel pot. Her hair, had come loose from its haphazard tail and wisped over her neck and ears. “Hi, Tara, glad to have you home.” There was enough reproach in her words to make me feel guilty.
“I’m sorry about leaving like that.”
“I’m sorry too,” she said. “I should’ve been there for you—and George. We all should’ve. But after Bailey …”
“I understand,” I assured her. I hated the haunted look in her eyes. “You don’t have to apologize. You had a lot going on. I can’t imagine.” I swallowed. “It was bad timing, really.”
“Yes, it was.” She smiled but it looked empty. “I’m glad to know George is all right. You did a very special thing for him.”
“I did what anyone would.”
“I don’t know about that. It’s a big sacrifice. Not just the up-front cost, but long term. You’ll always be connected.”
“He told you about it?”
“Yes. I did a full examination after he and Wes got back.”
“How is he?” I leaned forward, suddenly anxious.
“Physically, he’s fine. Healthier than when he was human.”
“And mentally?”
“Mentally, it’s going to be tricky. The bond will take some getting used to, for both of you, I think.”
I tried to read her expression, to see if maybe George told her about our shared feelings when I’d kissed Wes.
Not that I’d really spoken to him about it, but I knew after one look at his face that he’d been aware of what had happened between Wes and me. The embarrassment had come flooding back. I’d searched for any sort of jealousy underneath it, but there’d been none. Thankfully.
“Complications aside, he’s very grateful for what you did for him,” Fee went on. Something in the pot popped and simmered against the lid. The smell worsened.
“What are you cooking?” I asked, trying—and failing—to keep the distaste out of my voice.
She laughed. “It’s not dinner, don’t worry. I’m brewing some tea for Vera.”
“What kind of tea?”
“It’s my own recipe, mostly medicinal. She’s been drinking it for a few weeks now, but it’s losing its effectiveness. I needed a stronger recipe.”
The sight of the ever-present teacup made sense. I remembered what Mom said about Vera deteriorating. “How is she?” I asked.
“Not great, not horrible. She hovers at the in-between a lot.” For a moment, Fee’s mask of careful composure slipped, and I saw the desperation. “I don’t know what else to do for her,” she said. Her voice broke.
For once, when it came to Fee, I became the comforter. I reached out and wrapped my arms around her. She leaned into the embrace and hugged me back. I felt helpless, like whatever I could do wouldn’t be nearly enough. For her, for Vera, for everyone. It made my eyes water, and I blinked it back, wanting to be strong for them all. What would it do to Fee to lose someone again so soon after Bailey? To Jack? To all of them?
“Jack’s waiting for you in the back,” she said, finally pulling away and wiping her eyes. She smiled and it looked less hollow than before. “Thank you, Tara,” she added.
“You’re welcome.” I left her stirring the tea and headed outside.
Jack was in the backyard, various sparring equipment and weapons strewn about the grass. I paused at the bottom of the steps to take it all in. In all of my time training with Jack before going to Wood Point, he’d always been so hesitant about using weapons or equipment. He’d said you never knew what you’d have at your disposal in a real fight, so better to train with nothing, and be ready for anything. The scene struck me as contrary to that philosophy.
“There you are,” he said, dropping a set of arm pads and coming toward me. “I was beginning to wonder about you.”
“I got caught up talking to Fee. What’s all this?”
“That tea stinks to high heaven doesn’t it?” He didn’t wait for an answer before going on. “This is my defensive obstacle course,” he said, waving a hand.
Wes appeared from around the side of the house carrying a white shopping bag. He set it on the ground beside me and dropped a kiss on my cheek. “Hey, again,” he whispered.
“Hey.” I smiled at him, enjoying the way my heartbeat sped at the simple “hello,” and retu
rned my attention to Jack. “What exactly is a defensive obstacle course?”
“It’s a series of stations I’ve set up to defend myself when you attack,” Jack explained.
“You want me to attack you?”
“Not you, your wolf,” he explained. As if that made it better.
“Not a great idea.” Nausea rolled in, settling itself in the pit of my stomach. I looked to Wes for support. “Remember what happened last time?”
“Don’t worry, we’re prepared,” Wes said. He pointed at the bag at my feet. “I even brought extra clothes, in case you shift all the way.”
“This is your idea of teaching me how to control my wolf?” I asked, eyes wide.
“It’s the quickest way,” Jack said. His tone changed, becoming deeper, firmer, every inch the strict teacher I remembered from before. “And it’s not like you left us a lot of time to help you, so don’t argue with me.”
“Give it a chance,” Wes said. He didn’t look concerned. I huffed out a breath and followed Jack out into the mess.
He picked up the arm pads he’d dropped earlier, slid them on up to his elbows, and faced me. “I’m ready when you are, kid. Give me your best shot.”
“I don’t know how to shift on command,” I said. The words came out bitten off; my frustration was peaking. “If I did, I wouldn’t need you.”
“She needs to feel threatened,” Wes called from his place against the side of the house.
“Threatened, okay,” Jack said. He closed the distance between us and jabbed me in the shoulder. The pad he wore cushioned the impact but it was still enough to drive me back. My shoulder instantly throbbed.
“What the hell?” I snapped, backing away and rubbing my arm.
“I’m threatening you,” Jack said. Wes’s quiet laughter drifted over.
“You act like you’ve never done this before,” I said, holding my shoulder protectively.
“I haven’t,” he admitted. “By the time they come to me, they already know what they are.”
His words pricked against my pride. “I know what I am,” I said. “I’m a Hunter.”
I dropped my hand from my shoulder and rushed him, spinning into a side kick, heel out. The momentum as it landed against his hip drove him back a step. He blinked, clearly surprised. I didn’t wait for him to recover before swinging out with my fists. They hit the padding more than his flesh. I didn’t care. I didn’t need to hurt him, only make a point. He took the first few hits and then backed away, his hands up in surrender.
“All right, calm down. I get it. Bad choice of words,” he said. “But attacking me that way isn’t going to help you rein in your wolf.”
“What if I don’t want to rein it in?” I said. “What if I just want it to go away?” I folded my arms in front of me, fully expecting his answer to include some form of lecture about it being a gift and responsibility and how I shouldn’t be ungrateful. So his response surprised me.
“First, you’ve got to figure out what brings it out. Then you can make it go away,” he said.
We stared each other down for a long moment. His methods struck me as completely ridiculous, but he had a point. I dropped my hands to my sides. “All right. Tell me what to do.”
An hour passed. Then two.
My wolf never even surfaced, much less took over. I managed to sustain a few bruises from Jack “defending” himself a little too well. And I knocked him off balance once, but that was it. I was frustrated. At this point, I didn’t care whether my wolf emerged. I wanted to be done. I wanted a hot bath. I wanted food.
Jack swatted at me and I kicked out. My foot caught around the back of his knee, making it buckle. He went down like a toppling tree.
“Ugh,” he grunted as he landed.
The pads around his arms and back made it hard for him to get up. I reached out a hand, but I wasn’t much help. He was too heavy to pull up.
Wes laughed, distracting me. I’d forgotten he was watching. I shielded my eyes from the glaring sun and found him in the same spot as earlier. He leaned against the house, his features concealed by the shade of the rooftop. The set of his shoulders, the way he folded his arms, was completely relaxed. He was enjoying this.
I scowled and gave up my attempts to help Jack to his feet. By the time Jack stood, brushed himself off, and dropped the pads, he was laughing too.
“Are we done?” I demanded.
“For today,” he agreed. “Oh, and clean up the equipment.”
He clapped Wes on the back and they disappeared inside, leaving me standing in the middle of the mess. I looked up when the door slammed shut and caught sight of a face in the small window. Vera. She retreated and let the blinds fall back against the sill.
I debated leaving the mess for later and seeking her out. It felt unfinished between her and me. Like an interrupted conversation. The sound of footsteps distracted me. George stepped clear of the woods just as the bond alerted me to his presence.
“Where’ve you been?” I asked. He wore only shorts and sneakers, no shirt, no socks. His hair was matted to his face. “In the woods … alone?”
“Busted.” He smiled. “I was practicing shifting.”
“Let me guess. No problem, right?” I snatched up an elbow pad and dropped it into the plastic container. “How come it’s so easy for you, and so hard for me? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?”
He shrugged and picked up another pad, chucked it into the bin. “Maybe you’re overthinking it. Trying too hard.”
“Trying too hard,” I echoed.
“Just a theory. I take it training with Jack didn’t go well.”
“I knocked him down. Does that count?”
“Umm …”
“Okay, fine, he sort of tripped.” I tossed in another pad and flopped down on the steps, my chin in my hand.
“You’ll figure it out, Tay, you always do,” he said, lowering himself down next to me.
“You really like being a wolf, don’t you?”
“Don’t you?”
“I don’t know.” I rubbed at the back of my neck. “Seems like it’s one big headache. Literally.”
George frowned. “Do you mean your neck?”
“It aches, like a headache, only lower,” I said. I caught his expression. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You really don’t know what it is?” He shook his head. “Wow, never thought I’d see the day I got to give you Werewolf info.” He laughed. My patience thinned. “It’s your body’s way of letting you know there’s a Werewolf nearby. Like an alarm system. Every Werewolf has it.”
“No,” I said, “that’s what the goosebumps do for me. This is different.”
“I don’t know anything about goosebumps, but the prickly feeling on the back of your neck, that’s a Werewolf recognizing its own kind. It doesn’t bother me as much as it used to. Yours will probably fade.”
I thought back to when the prickle first started, during my road trip with George. It was right after he’d almost shifted at that truck stop and hadn’t really gone away since. I frowned. If George was right, that meant my body now had a double-alarm system. Great. I got to experience it all twice.
I looked over at George where he sat pulling apart blades of grass. As much as I wished I could’ve protected him from this, it was nice having him to go through it with.
“You never answered my question,” I said. I bumped his shoulder with mine, “about whether you like being a wolf.”
“Yeah, I mean, I feel good all the time. I’m strong and fast. Basically everything I’ve worked at my whole life comes easy now. No dieting. No PT.”
“But?”
“I miss my family. My mom is going to worry. I need to figure out what to tell her,” he said.
“I know.”
“And my friends. Wes, Fee, and all of them are great. But I miss the team.” He looked over at me. “Do you ever miss your old life? Your old friends?”
“I still have them,” I said. For some
reason, the way he asked the question made me defensive. As if I’d abandoned them. “I have you, and Sam, and Angela.”
“Yeah, you have me now. But Sam and Angela, it’s not the same as it was. They have to know something’s up. They barely ever see you anymore.”
I wanted to argue, but I couldn’t. I remembered the day we’d gone to the mall, the way Angela cornered me and demanded to know what was going on. I still hadn’t called her. The thought made me sad—and desperate to focus on something else. “Well, some of them won’t be missed,” I said.
Our eyes met. “Cindy Adams,” we said in unison. Our matching laughter eased my melancholy.
“I’m glad we can laugh about that now,” he said. “I mean, I really screwed up. I’m sor—”
“Uh-uh, don’t you dare apologize. It’s long gone for both of us, so you don’t get to bring it up and feel guilty all over again.”
“Fair enough. If I’d never kissed her, do you think you and me …?”
“I’d already met Wes,” I said quietly.
“Right, I forgot. So, moot point.”
“Yeah.” Awkward silence descended. I knew we were both thinking about earlier, the kiss. The weird tension in the bond confirmed it. “Listen, about earlier …”
“You don’t have to say anything,” he said. He wasn’t looking at me, but staring out over the yard. I could tell he felt uncomfortable, but he pressed on. “It’s something we’ll both have to deal with at some point. Just so happens I get to feel it first.”
“That doesn’t mean it isn’t weird. I won’t, I mean, I’ll try not to—”
“Tara, don’t.” He laughed. “Please don’t sit here and promise me you won’t make out, or worse, with your boyfriend, because of me. Because of this thing that ties us together.”
“But I can’t,” I argued. “Not when it feels like you’re in the room or something.” I made a face. Because when it came down to it, that’s exactly how it felt. In the worst sort of way.
“We’ll work on it, okay?”
“How do we do that? I can’t get it to shut off unless I’m asleep.”
“We’ll practice, just like you’re doing with Jack.”
Blood Bond Page 27
