Chapter Thirty
I shadowed him across town, to a neighborhood not far from mine. Doug’s pimped-out blue Pontiac and Jones’s black Civic sat in front of the house.
Nerves fired all through me with apprehension. I suddenly recalled the ominous way Jones told me to steer clear of him, and I suspected Megan and Krista couldn’t stand me. They took one look at me and put me in with the likes of Savannah and the rest of the popular crowd I’d left behind.
Hunter’s knuckles rapped at my window and I jumped. I pushed the button for the window. “You’re going to go get them for me, right?”
“You don’t want to see my friends?” Humor hinted under his words.
“With no pants?” I rubbed at my knees. “I don’t think so.”
“Okay, I’ll be right back.” He made his way to the front door and knocked. A few moments later a girl answered the door. I recognized her from the day at the Supercross, the one who had stormed away after seeing me. Krista. Blonde, tall, and thin. Dressed in a black T-shirt, hoodie, and boxer shorts, her hair up in a ponytail. She was pretty, but her face was in a permanent scowl every time I saw her. Even seeing Hunter at her door, her face didn’t change much, but her body language did. Dropping a shoulder, she rested against the doorjamb, crossing her long legs.
She listened to Hunter, who pointed toward me. Her eyes followed his gesture. Krista’s stern expression crinkled even more. Her head waggled back and forth, and her raised voice reached me.
“No. Absolutely not, Hunter.”
“It’s only a pair of pants, Krista.” His voice rose with hers. “I’ll get them back to you.”
“Fuck the pants, Hunter. That’s not what this is about.” She put her hands on her hips. “What are you doing?”
“Don’t start with me.”
“Someone needs to. They…” She stuck her thumb out, pointing it into the house. “Have not broken through your thick skull.”
“I know what I’m doing.”
“No. You don’t.”
“Krista…”
She cut him off. “Listen to me, Hunter, I’m actually being your friend here. Telling you what everyone is thinking.”
“When did you start caring what people think?”
She folded her arms, shaking her head. “How can you not see it? Hooking up with her? Colton’s girlfriend. That should tell you enough. She’s not for you. You think she’ll ever be okay with who you really are? I know you. I can see it already. You don’t allow yourself to fall for anyone, but when you do…” She paused. “I don’t want you to get hurt. This is a novelty for her. The hot Supercross guy. Check. She recently lost her boyfriend, who incidentally looks exactly like you. Don’t be a fool, Hunter.”
Tears pricked behind my lids, my heart tumbling down into my intestines. Her hurtful words switched on my anger. I clamped my jaw, and before I realized it, I zipped on my boots and grabbed the handle, opening the door.
What the hell are you doing, Jaymerson? I ignored the voice, the old, tired one I’d been listening to for years, keeping me behaved.
In my underwear, sweater, and knee-high boots I marched up the path to her house. Hunter turned around, his eyes widened, then filled with amusement, a grin on his lips.
Krista’s face was no longer sharp and tight—it had exploded open as if in shock at the sight of me. Behind her I could see Jones, Megan, Doug, and Chris in the living room playing video games and drinking. They stopped. All eyes were on me.
“Whoa!” Doug said, his beer bottle paused at his mouth. “My night just got better.”
I folded my arms across my chest but kept my feet firmly on the ground.
“You know, I see girls barely clothed all the time…” Chris sat on the sofa, closest to me. “Never gets old. But I will say this is hotter. Love the boots, sweetheart.” He tipped his drink to me.
“Cheers to that!” Jones clinked his bottle with Chris and Doug. Megan watched me, amusement twitching her eyebrows.
“Thanks.” I rolled my eyes, turning to Krista. “It’s clear you don’t like me. Fine. But you like Hunter. Do this little favor for him.”
Krista gaze wandered up and down me. I did not flinch under her critical glare.
“Personally, I vote no,” Chris spoke again.
“Yeah, no one wants your opinion.” I leaned around Krista, speaking to him. “Aren’t you supposed to be out with Stevie?”
“Meeting up later.” A grin took over his features.
“Just give her some pants, Krista,” Megan said from the floor, resting her elbows on the coffee table.
“Fine.” Krista swung around, heading back into the house and down the hallway. Hunter nudged me to follow. I scrambled after her, suddenly shy. I kept my attention on Krista, only giving a little nod to the room as I passed by. I heard Hunter behind me joining his friends, while I went down the hallway, walking to my doom.
Krista turned into a room, flipping on the light. I tentatively stepped in. She went to a drawer pulling out a pair of leggings and threw them at me.
“Here.”
“Thanks.”
She tilted her head, her eyes lasered on me. “If you hurt him, I will hurt you.”
My mouth opened to respond but nothing came out.
“I know you’ve been through stuff, but Hunter’s been through way more. His trust and heart have been broken enough by his parents, his brother…you will only destroy him.” She took a step closer to me. “If you have any conscience, you will end whatever this is now.”
“You don’t know me.”
“I know enough.” She took another step, leering over me. “Hunter is not the bad boy you can check off your list. And it’s even more demented you turning to him, using him, placing him in Colton’s spot. He is a completely different person.”
“I know,” I growled, shoving my chin up to stare at her. “I know exactly who Hunter is.”
“Do you?” she questioned. “Because Hunter is not the picket-fence, vacations-in-the-Bahamas, comfy-job type.”
“And you take one look at me and automatically think that’s what I want? Why do you care so much who he’s hanging out with?” I folded my arms. “Are you in love with him?”
“Hunter? No.” She scoffed, staring at me with dislike. “But I can see he is falling for you. Hunter comes off as tough, but when he gives his heart, it’s all of it. After losing his brother, he couldn’t take another asshole ripping it in two.” Contempt strained her voice. She strolled around me, bumping my shoulder on the way to the door. “So again I warn you, stop messing with him. End this now…or I will end you.”
“Why do you hate me? What did I do to you?”
She smirked again as though I was the butt of some secret joke, then she left, shutting the door behind her.
My fingers clutched at my boots, pulling them off as my gaze wandered the room, which held a bed, two night tables, a side chair and dresser. The chest and side tables were decorated with pictures. I took a step closer, picking one up. An image of the cutest baby boy with bright blue eyes, a mass of dark hair, and a dimple in his left cheek.
“Holy…” I dropped the picture back on the surface. My attention darted to each of the images. Comprehension flowing in.
There was no denying. The little boy was a spitting image of Colton. He slept with Krista? My head struggled to see the goofy, happy, football star getting it on with the hard, rocker chick. Her hatred of me suddenly became clear. I was the girl he took out and paraded around, and she was a “dirty secret” he wanted no one to know about, which resulted in proof he cheated.
Hunter telling me was one thing. Seeing the evidence shredded my last bit of doubt. Embarrassment flamed inside me, sprouting up my face like weeds. How could I have been so blind to Colton’s betrayal? He didn’t simply cheat on me once or twice.
Colton had a son.
As if on cue, a baby’s cry wailed through the door, forcing a sharp inhale from my lungs.
“Pause it,” I hear
d Krista’s voice yell. “I’ll be right back.” Her footsteps plodded from the hallway, sounding close to the door.
I tugged on the leggings, put back on my boots, and hurried to the door. I quietly opened it, peering out. A nightlight flooded the room across the hall with enough light to see clearly. She cradled a baby, six to eight months old, rocking him back and forth as he sucked on a bottle.
My gaze was glued on the wiggling bundle, my stomach braiding around my heart. The boy was a magnet, like his father, like his uncle, and I bent to his will. I stepped into the room. Krista swung around, her jaw clenching at seeing me.
I watched the baby, his tiny fingers trying to curl around the bottle.
“I know,” I muttered. “I know he’s Colton’s.”
She rolled her jaw, staring down at the baby. Her eyes softened, but then went cold when she looked back at me. “Maybe biologically. But Hunter’s been more of a father to this child than Colton ever was or would have been.” Her anger was directed at me.
I knew Hunter well enough to know he would take this child on as his own, not simply claim it, but be his full-time father. Was it fair to Hunter? Looking at the little boy, the innocent in our crazy mess, it didn’t matter. Hunter would do it willingly. And I understood. In a way Colton did live on.
“What’s his name?”
“Cody.”
“He’s beautiful.” I stepped closer. “How old is he?”
“Eight months.” Krista ran her fingers through the baby’s thick, dark hair. Eight months which would make him a June baby. My heart ping-ponged through my insides.
“When’s his birthday?” I knew the answer before she even said it.
“He was born June fifteenth.”
My lids fell.
I swallowed, reopening my eyes. “Was Colton with you when he was born?”
She huffed. “Yes. The only night he was ever there for us.”
June fifteenth was the night of our anniversary. The night Colton and I went to the lake—or so I thought. The night Hunter stepped in, so Colton could be at the birth of his baby. Acid burned my throat.
“Hunter is one of the good guys.” She adjusted the boy in her arms. “Cody, Hunter, and I are a family…go back to your football games, shopping, and parties. Leave him alone.”
My mouth opened when Hunter appeared behind me, he glanced between us. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Krista replied, her attention back on Cody. “Just feeding this little guy. His appetite has doubled.”
Hunter strode over, and she instantly handed the baby to him. Cody cooed at Hunter, his dimple showing when he smiled, his legs kicking out with excitement. He knew Hunter. As his father.
Krista placed the burp towel over Hunter’s shoulder. “The doctor says he’s going through another growth spurt. He’s already in the eightieth percentile.”
The love and pride on Hunter’s face mirrored Krista’s. I became invisible, intruding on this family’s private moment.
I suddenly understood Krista’s hatred, her warning. I didn’t belong here. “I’m gonna…go.” I took a step back. No one looked up. I left the room, halfway to the front door before I heard Hunter call for me. “Nice seeing you guys.” I waved to the group in the living room and rushed through the door.
“Jayme!” Hunter yelled after me.
“It all makes sense now,” I exclaimed into the night air, talking to myself. “The reasons for the constant texts, all the times you had to run off. It wasn’t drugs or sex…it was Cody.”
“Jaymerson, where are you going?” Hunter jogged after me, reaching me at the car. “Hey.” He spun me to face him. “What’s wrong?”
“Are you kidding me? Everything,” I cried out. “You stepped in to play Colton because he was having a baby. A baby, Hunter. Who somehow became your responsibility.” I sucked in a breath, the cold air tearing at my lungs. “How could you bring me here? Do you know how stupid I feel? Everyone in there knows he’s Colton’s, don’t they? They knew what he was really like?”
He nodded.
“Why does she call you all the time? Why does it have to be you?”
Hunter’s mouth thinned. “Krista’s parents disowned her the moment they found out about the baby. She struggles to make rent. She has no one else except me.”
“Help pay for him, her bills, you mean? Colton didn’t even do that, did he?”
“No.”
I scoffed, glancing away, blinking the tears back.
“Jayme.” He reached for my hand.
I jerked away. “Did you think how I would feel actually seeing him? I just discovered Colton cheated on me. Multiple times. I wasn’t ready for this.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t—”
“No, you don’t know.” Fury pumped through my heart, trying to dull the pain. “In the last five months my world has been turned upside down. I am trying to get up, stand on my own…and the ground continues to crumble under me. I’m starting to think it’s time to stop fighting. Let it go. Start over somewhere else.”
“You mean us?” His eyes narrowed.
“Aren’t you tired of fighting? For this?” I motioned between us. “For something which might not even be real.”
His jaw strained, his shoulders expanding. “You don’t think this is real?”
“I want to say yes, but in truth, Hunter, I don’t know.” I put one of my hands on my hip, the other flung toward the house. “All I do know is watching you in there with him…that was real. You guys looked…I don’t belong here.”
“You belong with me,” he growled, anger coating his declaration.
I shifted, sadness flooded my soul. “Don’t you see it? We are fighting a losing battle.”
He cupped my face roughly. “Then we fight harder.”
I bit down on my bottom lip.
Realization struck his face. “But you’re not going to. Are you?” He dropped his hand, hurt causing him to stand straighter as he stepped away from me.
I didn’t know how to answer. Emotion was distorting my thoughts, torturing me with humiliation, anger, sadness, and fear. “I need to go,” I whispered, craving to run far away. I turned and opened the door to the jeep.
“No.” He slammed his fist on my door, blocking my way. “You are not going to run away from me. Not before you tell me to my face.”
I glanced away.
“Tell me, Jaymerson. I want to hear you say it. Now.” He knew I struggled with hurting people or making trouble. He was forcing me to face what I wanted. To declare it out loud. Good or bad.
“Hunter, I’m—I…” I muttered softly.
“I swear, if you say something polite or passive right now, I will lose it,” he growled. “Yell. Scream. Tell me to fuck off. I don’t care, but don’t pacify me. I want to hear the truth. What do you want, Jaymerson?”
I stayed silent.
He grasped my arm, turning me to face him. “Look at me.”
The ripple of grief tapped at the dam, under my skin.
“Say it!” He stabbed at my dam. “Say. It!”
It broke.
“I can’t do this!” I screamed, tears pricking at my eyes. “I thought I could, but this…you are father to a baby, Hunter. He might not be yours biologically, but he is yours. Krista made it exceptionally clear. You have your place here, a family. I am nowhere in it. And I’m not sure I want to be.” I regretted the last sentence the moment it came out, though there was truth in it, no matter how much I wanted to take it back. I finally was figuring out who I was, I wanted to explore the world, find my passion, be silly, make mistakes, and have no restrictions. A baby was nowhere in my plans for now.
This was all too much.
He stared at me, inhaling deeply through his nose. Then he let his head fall forward. “Was that so hard?”
“Hunter…I…” I reached for him.
“No.” He stepped from my grasp, shaking his head. “You’re right. This is my responsibility. You have to find your
own life. Outside of Colton…and me.”
“But it’s actually not your burden either.” I knew I was clawing at water, hoping to find something substantial to hold on to. Hunter would not abandon Cody. Even if he sacrificed his future, he would raise the child like his own.
“Cody will never be a burden,” he gritted through his teeth. “I will never let him be raised like I was. He will always have a father.”
“I know,” I whispered, my eyes filling with the truth of our situation. We both stood there, knowing it was the end, but I still couldn’t walk away.
Hunter did it for me. “Good night, Jaymerson.”
My heart snapped into tiny pieces, and each one exploded with stabbing agony. I wanted to hit him, beg him to tell me to shut up, to fight for me. For us.
But I didn’t. I swallowed back the enormous knot, full of doubting voices, reached for the car door, and climbed in.
He didn’t talk as he shut my door. A pained grunt came from his throat, then he inclined forward through the open window and kissed me, fierce and demanding. Then he walked quickly back to the house. He stopped on the stoop and watched me pull away, his outline growing dimmer in the rearview mirror.
My heart remained with him while the strain of my foot hitting the gas pedal put more distance between us. It felt wrong, but I tried to convince myself it was for the best. Everything about us had been doomed from the start. Everyone against us.
Only Hunter and I believed it was more. But our belief buckled under the weight of our circumstances.
Chapter Thirty-One
“You were with him, weren’t you?” Mom said from the doorway of my bedroom.
I exhaled and grabbed my pajamas from the drawer.
“Jaymerson.” Frustration and exhaustion draped heavy on my name. “What did your father and I tell you?”
“At eighteen I have no say about who I can or can’t hang out with?” I grabbed some clean underwear, wanting to head for the shower.
“That is not what we are doing.”
I slammed my dresser shut. “Forbidding me to see Hunter is exactly that.”
“We love you. We want to keep you protected.”
Shattered Love Page 28
