“You think? He doesn’t seem sad to me.” He’s the epitome of a brooding narcissistic man-whore, times two because he has the power to control everyone around him. Bless her sweet heart, she really doesn’t know Marcus at all.
“Weakness was ammo for our father when he was a kid. Pretty sure that part of him was broken a long time ago,” I admit quietly. Speaking of my father feels like I’m breathing life into his ghost. I hate talking about him.
“He just seems so.…”
“Controlled? He is, he has a good heart though,” I admit, because he wouldn’t have stood by me and tried to fix me so many times if he didn’t care.
“I know.” The sad smile plays on her lips as she runs her fingers over the top of the desk. Her feelings for Marcus are trouble and we both know it.
“I promised myself I would stay out of it but… is something going on between you two?”
Ianna sighs, “No, not really. I mean, I care for him, he’s a good man, but…”
“Kai,” I offer.
“Exactly. Kai is everything to me. I love him and wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. Marcus’s pull is strong but nothing I can’t handle,” she states with false confidence.
“Good.” Ianna has her priorities straight and I know she wouldn’t walk away from Kai, not for anything. Marcus needs to back off, and not make trouble for them.
“Love you, Nyx.” She pulls me into a hug. “What about you and Mase? Anything going on yet?”
“Jake is too much of an ass to really know how he feels.” I catch my slip up a second too late, and cringe as I prepare for her reaction.
“Jake?” she asks, her smile getting huge. “What is this development?”
“I don’t know, sometimes I like to call him Jake, it’s… kind of sexy. So shut up about it,” I say sticking my tongue out.
“Oh, he loves you and you know it. Are you guys bumping uglies, yet?”
“No! I’m not bumping uglies with anyone, not until I figure out my life.”
She throws her arms up in there in celebration. “Thank God for that! It’s about damn time you used the brain in your head.”
“I know right; I feel so grown up.”
“Come on, show me to my room.” Her excitement is infectious and she pulls me out of my chair. I know she’s going to love her room. As expected she squeals and flops down on the bed. We spend a couple hours chatting and telling stories about anything and everything that has happened during our time apart. It feels so good to have her here.
“We are fully stocked with everything you need to go surfing if you want,” I say, standing up. “I’m going to go have a bath and get ready for dinner. You get yourself settled, and check in with Kai, then come find me. Mason and Marcus will be home soon for dinner.” I know she will need some time alone to unpack and speak with Kai in private.
She pulls me into a hug, saying, “Thank you, really, this is all so amazing. I will see you in a bit.” She kisses my cheek, shooing me out of the room.
After a soak in the tub I collapse on my bed, enjoying a moment to myself. From under my pillow, I pull out the note I found last week. I have no memory writing it so I have to assume Marcus compelled me again, after he promised he wouldn’t. My complete despair is evident in the manic scratches. Begging for escape. It feels surreal to be reading my own suicide note, yet feel so disconnected from it. Having read it a dozen times, I can’t help but feel grateful that Marcus took away this part of me, even if my instinct is to throat punch him for lying to me, again.
***
Marcus
Walking through the front door of my house, I exhale all the stress of the fucking shit storm of a day, as my whole body relaxes. Bullshit meetings, finalizing so many tedious details before the Titans tour.
As my foot hits the third step, loud country music fills my once silent home. My heart beat speeds up at the sound. Following the blaring music, the rest of the way upstairs, I stop in front of the door to the guest room Ianna’s staying in.
She’s here, in my house. The one complication that cracks my stoic resolve, Ianna Ceto, the water wielding goddess that makes me want to be a better man. A man I can’t be if I want this tour to go down the way it needs to. She will never be mine anyway, she has Kai; he’s a good guy, loyal, honest, nice. Fucking nice. She deserves nice, she doesn’t deserve a manipulative monster like me pining away for her. Complicating her life. Every time I see her I fight the urge to compel her into submission.
The door swings open, catching us both off guard. Clutching her chest. “Lord have mercy, you scared me. What are you doing out here, Marcus?” she asks, as she peeks out the door and glances down the hallway.
“I was just stopping by to see how you were settling in. Is Phee with you?” Lies, I planned on walking away the moment I found the strength. That and I can sense Phee’s power emanating from her room.
“I’m settling in just fine, thank you. You have a really beautiful home, Marcus.” Why does she have to say my name so much? Can’t she see it unnerves me? She shifts her weight slowly from foot to foot, she’s clearly uncomfortable with me being here. “Nyx went up to have a bath while I got settled, she seems good. Is she okay?”
How do I answer that? She opens the door, inviting me in. We sit on the end of her bed. The feel of her hand in mine sets my soul on fire. I want her to be mine, it would be so easy. Just lean over and whisper in her ear what she will do to me and allow me to do to her, but I couldn’t live with myself if I took away her free will.
“She didn’t handle it very well, at first. I never should have unloaded all of that on her.” I stand, walking over to the window. The violent sea echoing my turmoil. Phee didn’t deserve for me to take my anger out on her. “I should never have forced everything on her like that. Her breaking was as much my fault as hers. I had to compel her after I found her with a knife to her wrist. She will be okay, now.”
Ianna gasps, “Oh poor Nyx. You did what you thought was right.” Her hand rests on my shoulder. “You couldn’t have known she was going to fall apart.”
But I did know, she had fallen apart over less in the past. As soon as I dumped her memories on her I knew I had pushed her too far, too fast. “I need her to be ready for the tour.” Turning to face her deep blue eyes, I confess, “I hate constantly messing with her head, Ianna, I just want her to be happy.”
“Of course you do.” She wraps her arms around my waist, pressing herself into me. I takes me a minute before I wrap my arms around her. Her hair smells of the ocean and fresh air. Tilting her head up, she gazes at me with her endless blue eyes. I want more, I want it all. Cupping her cheek, I brush my lips across hers in a feather light touch. She freezes, and I can feel her gasp against my lips.
“Marcus…” she whispers, breathing life to my name. I lose all resolve and crash my lips into hers. Stealing this moment. I never said I wasn’t a selfish bastard.
She pulls away almost immediately, turning from me, her hand covering her soft lips. “Marcus, I can’t, we can’t.” I can see the guilt building already. She did nothing wrong but already feels responsible.
Wrapping my arms around her from behind, I kiss the top of her head. “I know, beautiful, I had to taste you just once. In another life we would live a long and happy life together.”
“In another life,” she whispers.
Finished with torturing myself, I turn and walk away from the best woman I have ever known. I could lose sight of everything in the arms of a woman like her. Shaking off the pull she has over me, I walk the rest of the way to Phoenyx’s room.
Opening her door, I slip into the dark room, curtains drawn locking out the sunlight. She’s curled up in bed, a piece of paper clutched in her hand. Curious, I gently remove it from her grasp, unfolding it. My heart sinks when I read her words, it’s a suicide note. I had no idea she wrote this. Frustration overwhelms me. I’m so fucking done with her being this sniveling weak person. I took care of this once and I will keep doing it until
she figures out how to be a normal fucking happy person.
Stirring, she sits up, watching the note in my hand like it’s a loaded gun. “Do you have any idea how it felt for me to find something like that, Marcus? To know I had sunk that low and you stepped in and just wiped it all away. I hate you for keep this a secret from me.”
“You needed to stop all of this wallowing in self-pity shit. I’ve got a tour to run, people’s lives are at stake, you needed to get your head in the game.” I have tried being patient and gentle with her, it obviously didn’t work.
Her glare sharpens and she clenches her fists. I’m glad she’s pissed off. I need to see the fire in her to remind myself why I have risked everything bringing her into all of this. Sometimes, I swear she’s more trouble than she’s worth but I didn’t save her all those years ago to let her go now. She’s my family, blood or not.
“Wallowing in self-pity? Oh, I’m sorry, I’m not completely dead inside like you are. This shit affects me. You… you put all of these things in my head.”
Losing it, I shout, “You asked for it! I told you that you didn’t want this shit in your head, but you kept demanding to know everything.” Taking a breath, trying to get my anger in check. “Did you want me to lie to you? Let you drag that knife across your wrist? Watch as Mason and Ianna die inside at the loss of your life? You forced my hand. I couldn’t spend every day worrying you would try to kill yourself the moment my back was turned.” Why can’t she understand that I did this for her?
She scoffs, “You can’t keep changing me when I do something you don’t like.”
“I’m not changing you! I’m fixing you.” Sitting down beside her. “I can’t change the fact that we had a nightmare childhood, but we have grown stronger because of it. You are brave and talented. You are Phoenyx mother fucking Warren, kick ass demigod with more than one power under her belt. You are incredible. Why can’t you see that?”
“I’m starting to. I understand why you did it, I do. Thank you for helping me. I don’t ever want to feel the way I did when I wrote that letter.” She wraps her arms around me and I remember every time I hugged her tiny form when she was just a girl, protecting her from the monsters in her life. I promised to protect her, always.
“Have you seen Ianna?” she asks. I can sense the trepidation in her voice, she’s worried about me corrupting her friend.
“Yeah, she’s in her room.” Stella pops her head in to let us know dinner will be served in the dining room.
Phee walks toward the bathroom, calling over her shoulder, “Just so we are clear, this was your one and only get out of jail free card. If you compel me again I swear to God I will kick your ass.” She pauses and thinks on that for a moment, a smirk playing on her lips. “Better yet, I’ll get Mason to do it for me.”
With a smile I walk out. There’s my girl, back to being a pain in my ass.
Titans Assemble
Phoenyx
The doorbell rings, signaling the team’s arrival. My heart lurches in my chest, they’re here. Ianna jumps up beating me to the door and launches onto Kai like a spider monkey, the moment the door opens.
“You guys have been apart for a week,” I say, shaking my head at their sweetness. Asher comes in next, tattooed and bad ass and looking every inch the bad boy that broke my heart. He sweeps me up into a hug.
“Hey, beautiful.” I’m enveloped in the spicy woodsy scent that is Asher Blaze. My traitorous body buzzes with the contact of our shared power. I have to consciously shut it down; if only I had learned to do that years ago I would have saved myself a lot of drama. Speaking of drama, over his shoulder I spot his girlfriend and the skank he cheated on me with, Imari. She is staring daggers right back at me, stupid cow. I will be having some serious words with Marcus about her presence on tour.
“It’s good to see you, Ash,” I say, laying it on thick just to piss Imari off. The small victory doesn’t dim the rage at catching them together more than once, time doesn’t heal all wounds it seems. The rabid glare she’s giving me is enough satisfaction for today.
It’s crazy to think of all the baggage Asher and I have but somehow we have managed to put it behind us and tentatively build a friendship. He’s a good guy to have watching your back, as long as you don’t give him your heart.
Endyra and Adam walk through the door hand in hand. I cringe, this is a new development. I haven’t come face to face with Adam since knocking him unconscious and stealing his car during my escape from the Academy, this is going to be awkward. “Hey guys. Come in, how have you been?” Trying desperately to be welcoming. The fact that once, when I was at my lowest and horribly drunk I let him do sex stuff to me, makes my skin crawl. Sober, I loathe his very existence, my making attempt at friendliness is so obviously fake. I have no idea what Endyra sees in his smug douche bag ass.
As expected Adam glares in response to my lighthearted welcome. “The next time you hit me, I will take you down, bitch.” Endyra shushes him and gives me a quick hug. “Don’t mind him, I think you hurt his ego more than anything.”
“Fuck that! Bitch gave me a concussion!” he says stepping toward me. Like a dog with a bone, refusing to let it go.
“Call her a bitch one more time and I will make the beating she gave you look like child’s play,” Mason says from behind me. I smile brightly at Adam, which causes his jaw to clench. That’s right, you are in my house now, bitch.
“I healed that concussion, sweetie, so no harm no foul. We are team mates now. Let it go.” Her words seem to calm him enough to get him into the living room where everyone else has gathered.
I turn back to the door, no Silas. What the hell. I take out my cell to see if I missed a text when two warm arms envelope me from behind. Mason is sitting across the room on the couch watching me with wide eyes.
“Hi,” Silas’s whispers in my ear.
I turn in his arms and give him a quick hug, saying, “I was about to kick your ass via text, I thought you were bailing on me again.” Taking a step back so his arms drop at his sides, needing some space.
Leaning down so we are eye to eye. “I said sorry about not being able to come see you sooner, my father had a lot going on, he needed me.”
I needed you, I want to say but it would only cause an argument and this isn’t the time to start. It’s going to be hard enough to get through the break up without him hating me. I can feel Mason’s eyes on me. Watching every move, every time Silas touches me.
“Come on,” Silas says, as he pulls me through the house, up the stairs and into my room. The moment the door closes behind us, his lips meet mine. “God I missed you.” My mind is spinning so fast it takes me a couple seconds to stop him. This doesn’t feel right. I want out of this room. I need him off me.
“Whoa…,” I say pushing my hands against his chest. “Can we just take a moment here? I haven’t seen you in months.”
He pulls away, his deep green eyes question, “What’s the matter?”
I step away, is he serious? “What’s the matter? I haven’t seen you in months, I thought we were broken up and then you show up here and stake some kind of claim on me in front of everyone. What was that? Everyone is downstairs. I think it’s rude to rush up here without even saying hello,” I say walking, making it clear whatever he thinks this is, is not happening.
“Why the hell is Mason here, anyway?” There is no trace of smile in his face now.
Sitting down on the edge of my bed, I sigh. I feel the need to defend Mason to him. “He’s my mentor, trainer and friend. Why wouldn’t he be here? Besides he’s Marcus’s second in command on tour so they’ve had a ton of things to settle for the tour.”
A knock on the door is just the time out I needed. Mason pops his head in, “Meeting in the dining room in five minutes, babe.” His eyes narrow in on Silas. “I see you finally decided to show up.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Silas questions.
“It means, she has been going through hell here and you didn’
t give a fuck.”
Whoa, where is all of this coming from? “Mason! He said he was busy, I was okay.”
“Nyx, you were not okay. You tried to… you know what, never mind, this is not my problem, meeting in five.” With that he storms out, leaving me to deal with Silas standing here tense and ready for a fight. Thanks for that, Mason.
“Are you fucking him?” Silas’s question is blunt and hurts more than I care to admit. With Silas it always comes down to trust, he doesn’t trust me. I broke him once and he’s too smart to let it happen twice. I don’t blame him. I messed with his head pretty good. He was my rock and my rebound after Asher broke my heart and left me a mess. Silas made me feel again, then when Asher returned, trying to win me back, Silas was heartbroken. I’m not proud of my behavior, and I know his accusation is well founded and based on the shit I put him through in the past.
“What? No! Why would you even ask me that?” I hate the tears stinging my eyes.
“I think we both know you aren’t exactly picky in choosing who you sleep with. Usually it’s whoever is closest, so that means it’s either him or your brother and I don’t think even you could get that drunk.”
Oh no, he did not just say that to my face! My palms heat with the anger raging through me. I want to slap him across the face so bad, instead I yell, “Don’t you ever speak to me like that again Silas Gage. I have been here for months, waiting for you to show up and act like you give a shit. Guess what? That never happened. You and I are over. Mason is my best friend and he was here when I needed someone.”
To that he snorts, shaking his head.
“What is the matter with you? You are acting like a dick.”
“I had one of my father’s people keep an eye on you when we were apart. There were a lot of pictures of you two together, it messed with my head.” At least he has the decency to appear guilty.
Titan Elite (Demigods Duet Book 2) Page 3
