He couldn’t, wouldn’t live like this.
He faced her with stronger resolve. “No, Mother. I won’t go back early or take classes through the summer. And I won’t be put under your thumb. Dad wouldn’t want it that way.” He released his father’s hand and stepped back from the bed, standing tall. “I’ll stay on my present schedule. I’m sure the board will do a fine job with the family holdings—”
“You will not disobey me, Travis.” Soft and frigid, the words stabbed at him. “Trust me when I say this. You don’t want to show me your rebellious nature right now. You will do exactly as I say, when I say it. Or so help me, I will make you regret every instance of disrespect you have ever shown me.” Her eyes narrowed on him with relentless intent. “Starting with your precious Annie.”
Chapter 15
May
Annie tossed the potato peeler and half-cleaned potato aside when the phone started ringing. She ran to the hall table and snatched up the receiver. “Hello?”
“Annie?”
Her knees wobbled as she heard Travis’s anxious voice. Annie sank onto the rickety old cane-backed chair next to the hall table and clutched the phone.
“Annie? Is that you?”
She cleared her throat and took a fortifying breath. “It’s me.”
A long pause. Neither of them said anything. She couldn’t hold back the sudden tears sliding down her face. Never, never in the last, almost six years, had either of them been at a loss for words with each other. Never had they been unsure of what to say. It broke her heart.
“God. You’re crying, aren’t you? I’m so sorry, Annie. Please talk to me. Please say something.”
Her throat ached. “Where have you b-been? That’s all I w-want to k-know.”
“I just got home. I’m up at the Hall. Can I come over? I need to see you, Annie.”
“I didn’t mean—I . . .” She gulped in another sob. “Why did you stop calling me? It’s been two months! I’ve been so worried.”
“That’s what I need to talk to you about. And I want to see you. Please let me come over.”
For several long seconds she sat there with the phone clutched tight in her hand. She wanted to see him so she could tell him off for ignoring her. She wanted to grab hold of him and never let go. Confusion and hurt warred with need, until she felt sick to her stomach.
Her folks would be gone all day and most of the evening, helping Danny and Frankie set up their new apartment in Charlottesville. Bobby and Susan wouldn’t be back for hours. That gave her and Travis time to talk, and—
Stop it. She hadn’t heard a thing from him in almost two months. Before there could be anything else between them, she needed explanations.
“Annie?”
She pulled her attention back to Travis, who sounded even more anxious. “I’m so mad at you.” Her voice cracked. “I’m so angry, Travis.”
She heard him utter a broken sigh. “I know you are. I don’t blame you, but I can explain—”
“You can come over now.” She didn’t want to hear anything else from him until she could look him in the eyes. She dropped the old-fashioned phone back into its cradle and dashed away fresh tears.
It was the first time they’d parted company over the phone, without saying, “I love you.” Something bad was happening to their love.
And Annie knew it had started in January, right after Mr. Quincy came home from the hospital.
That last night together, before Travis left for Yale, they’d gone for a drive. With no real destination in mind, they spent some time cruising the streets, and ended up parked on Hickory Knob just to watch the snow come down. They cuddled close and spoke in hushed tones, almost as if they were afraid they’d be overheard.
“I can’t come back until May, but I’ll call you at least once a week. Martha told me she’d keep you posted on my dad. So you’ll hear from her once in a while, too.” Travis pulled her as close as their coats would allow, and nuzzled Annie’s ear as he spoke.
“I wish I could go see him. When does he get to come home?”
“Another week. Mother has to make the final arrangements for the extra shift of nurses. Dad needs someone with him around the clock, and it’s a sure bet Mother won’t spend much time with him.” His voice held enough bitterness for her to notice, but she wisely hadn’t commented. So much animosity lay between Travis and his mama, and Annie didn’t know how to help other than just being there for him.
They still had the optimism of youth and such a strong basis of love, however, all tipping the balance toward them and their future. They kissed and touched, then kissed and touched some more, until with a groan of need, Travis pulled Annie onto his lap, both of them cramped and bent in the compact BMW.
He undressed her with eager fingers, enough to reach her skin, and likewise, she unzipped and unbuttoned his clothes, until bare, shivery flesh could meet and meld together. They moved against each other, held on with such urgency, and Annie had cried out in his arms as she experienced for the first time the kind of pleasure that made intimacy so magical.
Words, as usual, weren’t necessary between them. With their bodies they said everything vital, everything important.
He drove her home, parked on her street and kissed her over and over. When he finally let go, Annie floated through her front door secure in the knowledge that her life with Travis was just beginning, and nobody could ever take it from her. She fell asleep that night with her hand curled around the ring on her finger as wonderful dreams filled her head.
It was pointless to dwell on that night. She’d only get upset, and right now she needed to think with a clear head. Hurrying through her chores, Annie carted the pot of stew over to the stove and turned the gas on low. She’d probably forgotten half the correct spices, but in her present state of mind, it was a wonder she could recall her own name.
He’ll be here soon. She sank down on the nearest chair and pressed a hand to her heart. It pounded hard and fast beneath her fingers. Everything felt wrong, upside-down. She pushed the heavy hair out of her face and reached for whatever composure she could find within herself. No more tears, and no excuses. She’d be firm with him. Grown-up. And she’d get the answers she needed to explain his behavior.
After Travis left for Yale, Annie’s daily nuisances of high school and chores, her sister’s relentless teasing, and her brothers’ typical idiocy, her loneliness—all of it was bearable because she got to talk with him each Friday night. She lived for those phone calls.
Then, the last weekend of March, they just stopped.
At first, she thought his Friday classes must be overwhelming him and he couldn’t get away long enough to call her. He’d surely call as soon as he could on Saturday. Then Saturday passed with no word from him. Annie fretted and worried, until Susan told her to knock it off or she’d kick her morose butt down the stairs and out into the yard. Even Mama was short with her. Annie figured she overreacted, so she forced herself to calm down and to be patient.
Two weeks into April, she still hadn’t heard from him. Uneasy about bothering him when he was so busy with classes, she’d finally tried calling his cell phone, but he never answered. She’d left messages at his frat house. He didn’t return them. By late April, Annie was angry and confused. There wasn’t anyone she could speak to over at Quincy Hall, and she felt uncomfortable asking Martha about Travis. Besides, she knew Martha’s hands were full helping with Mr. Quincy, who stayed in bed most of the time after that second stroke did so much damage.
Annie’s balance was out of whack. She and Travis never had even a slight disagreement in all the years they’d known each other. Sometimes it seemed as if they shared one mind. This sudden, unexplained break unnerved her. Nobody knew all of her hopes and dreams the way Travis did. For over five years she’d counted on having such loving support in her daily life. She’d planned a future with him: marriage, children, celebrating their love forever. Now, there was nothing, not even a letter.
By ear
ly May, she more or less resigned herself to not hearing from Travis. When his birthday came without any contact from him, she just gave up, her heart in pieces. For some reason, he’d withheld himself from her.
For a full week she cried, ignoring her family’s attempts to get her mind off Travis and his desertion of her. Only the fear that she’d fail her final exams if she didn’t get a grip on herself kept her from falling into depression. She mopped up her tears, dove back into her classes, and worked hard to recover what she’d lost from weeks of apathy. She still missed him horribly, but told herself it was his loss.
Some days, she even convinced herself.
As she walked into the living room to wait, Annie swore she wouldn’t cry like a baby. When Travis arrived, she’d act like a woman, with grace and dignity.
Then she heard his car as it squealed to a quick stop in front of the house. With a deep breath, Annie moved to the door, placed her hand on the knob, and wrenched it open before he could knock.
His eyes seemed to glow as he stared at her. One look at him and Annie forgot her anger, her resolve to be calm and mature. The door hadn’t fully closed behind him before she jumped into his arms and clung as he covered her mouth in a desperate kiss. More forceful than he’d ever kissed her before. More passionate.
They kissed with fervor as Travis pushed her up against the door. He leaned into her, held her so tightly that she couldn’t breathe. His hands rushed over her, stroked beneath her tee shirt. She hadn’t bothered with a bra when she’d dressed that morning and now, as she felt Travis’s hands cup her, she was fiercely glad of the omission. Annie arched into his caress.
Suddenly he picked her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he stumbled up the stairs, carrying her to the room she still shared with Susan. They fell onto her bed and the old mattress sagged beneath their combined weight.
This isn’t right. She yanked at the buttons of his jeans, tugged at his shirt. Don’t be stupid, Annie. She could hear the sob in her throat and gasped for air as she wriggled out of her shorts, loosened by his fingers. This is a mistake. Yet she didn’t back away.
Her hair was in her eyes. She shook it out of the way and lifted her arms for him to pull her shirt over her head. His mouth skimmed her bare skin, and, shivering, Annie clenched her fingers around his neck and held him fast.
Her panties hung off one thigh, and his briefs were down around his knees. She still wore a sneaker. She didn’t care. She couldn’t stop. Couldn’t think of anything except the need to crawl inside his skin and never come out.
When he pressed against her, she opened her body to him and clung. He fused his mouth to hers and she kept her eyes open, unwilling to let him out of her sight as he made love to her. Yet even as she clutched him, so tight a sliver of paper couldn’t have passed between their driving bodies, her mind wouldn’t ignore the inner voice asking why he’d cut her from his life.
She cried brokenly against his neck when she tightened, climaxed. Travis buried his face in her tangled hair as he reached for his own release.
The room was silent, but for the sound of their labored breaths, her soft sobs, and the words he murmured in an attempt to soothe her.
“Why haven’t you called me, Travis? Was it just your classes keeping you busy? Or is it something else?”
She sat up in the mussed bed, her hands locked around her knees. Now that they’d satisfied their first urgent rush, she was determined to get the truth from him.
With a sigh, he leaned into the pillows stacked against the narrow headboard. She heard hesitation in his voice. “Classes have been tough. And it’s been hard to find enough time in the evenings to even eat dinner, much less make phone calls. But that isn’t an excuse, Annie. I let you down, and I’m sorry for it.”
She started to speak but he held up a hand to stop her. “Just listen, okay? Mother has pressured me almost nonstop since I got to Yale. She wouldn’t let up on the idea that I should schedule my classes semester to semester with no break in between. She expected me to stay at school and work my ass off. She didn’t seem to care how burned out I’d be if I took classes spring semester through the summer months and then ripped right into fall semester. I wanted to go against her, but—well, I had to do as she ordered.”
Distressed, she reached for his hand and soothed her fingers over his palm. He gripped her fingers. “The dorm phones were always jammed, especially on the weekends. After Mother agreed to let me have a cell phone for emergencies, it was a lot easier calling you on Fridays. I heard from Martha once in a while, but she’d never get into much detail about how Dad was doing.” He dragged his free hand through hair that already stood on end. “So I kept slogging through more homework than I’d ever seen in my life, and worried a lot about Dad.” He brought her hand to his mouth for a kiss. “Talking to you once a week was my salvation, Annie.”
His words might be sweet to hear, but she couldn’t accept them at face value. “If that’s true, then why did you stop calling me?”
“Mother cut me off in April.” At her gasp, he nodded. “It’s true. I picked up my cell phone to call you, and got a message it was no longer in service. I couldn’t understand it because I knew the monthly statement was paid. I found out Mother canceled everything. She’d seen the billings and realized I talked to you every week for hours.” His hand tensed on hers. Sarcasm sharpened his tone. “I guess my calls to you weren’t much of an emergency, except for my own sanity. She never said anything to me about it, just canceled the phone.”
“How could she do something like that? What right did she have? If you pay your bills—”
“It wasn’t really my phone, Annie. I fooled myself into thinking it was. And I no longer have money. She found the credit card statement and realized I’d bought your ring.” He traced the glittering stone on her finger, lifted his shoulders in a weary shrug. “I never found out until I tried to use my card off campus. She told the board members I wasn’t allowed any funds because I had proven I might slack off at Yale unless I remained focused.”
His fingers clenched on hers. “They’re all old school. Most of them went to Yale and Harvard. They grew up on trust funds and such, and they believed her. She contacted the Dean of Students and set up a monthly stipend for me. I get enough credit for food and school supplies, as long as I make those purchases on campus. Very few actual dollars end up in my hand. At first I couldn’t believe she could get away with something like this, but it’s more common at the big colleges than you’d think.” He dragged a hand over his face, reddening his eyes when he pushed against them. “My mother’s been in control since she brought my father home from the hospital. She has his Power of Attorney. She has control of all of the companies, everything.” His voice dropped to a rasp. “And she has control of me.”
“Oh, Travis.” Annie reached out for him and he fell into her arms. She held him close, unsure of how she could soothe him, make this better for him. How could she tell him she knew what he was going through, when she didn’t? Her mama was so wonderful. His sure wasn’t. Her daddy cuddled her and told her he loved her, and his daddy was unable to give Travis any support. What could she say to make him feel better?
After a minute or so, he pulled away, brushed a lock of hair from her damp cheek, and tucked it behind her ear. A trace of red still ringed his eyes, but his voice had steadied. “It’s not fair of me to lay this all on you, Annie. As long as I know you understand what I’m going through and you’re here for me, I’ll be all right. My mother can’t take that away, although if she could think of a way to do it, I bet she would. But she can’t change how much I love you. She’s pretty much pulled everything else from me.”
“Well, she didn’t take your car. At least you have a way back and forth from school.”
“But I have no money for gas. I had to borrow money from Catherine, and—”
“What? What did you say?” Annie wasn’t sure she’d heard correctly. She sat up slowly. “Do you mean Catherine Cabot? Why wo
uld you borrow money from her?”
“Um—” He suddenly wouldn’t look at her, and instead plucked at the wrecked sheets. His cheeks held a telltale flush.
She grabbed his arm to still his movements and bring his attention back to her. “What’s going on, Travis? Why would you borrow money from someone you’ve always told me was a pest and a nuisance, someone you don’t even like?”
“Listen, Annie—”
That was as far as he got, before she jumped up from the bed and reached for her shorts. He stretched his hand toward her, and then dropped it into his lap when she moved out of reach. “It’s not what you think. It’s just that I see her once in a while, that’s all.”
She faced him with her hands on her hips. Sharp pain lanced through her as she struggled with her temper. “You see a girl your mother desperately wants you to marry someday, ‘once in a while.’ And you borrow money from her. That’s all. So, are you two buddies, now?”
“No, of course not. Just sometimes, she comes by . . .” He trailed off and looked away.
Her hands clenched so hard that her nails scored the soft skin of her palms. “And how often would you be having her for company? I have a right to know.”
Travis closed his eyes as if in defeat. “She’s attending prep in New Haven. She has a year to go and then she starts at Yale. She lives in a sorority house, in town.”
“And?” She steeled herself to hear the rest of it, knowing it would be very bad.
“And I . . . see her. Sometimes during the week, and on the weekends.”
Oh, God. She was right. It was bad. Catherine Cabot, going to the same college as Travis. Seeing him any old time she wanted, with Ruth Quincy’s blessing.
Promises to Keep Page 12
