by J. K. Coi
And he was going to lose her. One way or another, it was an inevitability.
Gabriel’s stomach clenched. With a groan, he pulled Lila into his arms, hugging her as closely and tightly as he dared, knowing it could be the last time. “I love you, Lila. You’re the sister of my heart,” he whispered.
He pulled back. “Take care of Tony. I know he’s going to be just like his dad. And watch out for Sammy too, will you? Be gentle with him—the man adores you altogether too much, but he’s soft. I don’t think he could survive your normally bossy ways.”
“Gabe—”
“Shh. I’m only covering my bases, just in case. But don’t you worry.” He soothed her furrowed brow with a feather-soft kiss to her forehead. “I’m the bad penny. You couldn’t get rid of me even if you wanted to. Everything is going to be fine.”
Lies had always come so easily to him.
“Where are we going?”
Amelia and Gabriel sat in the idling Navigator parked in Lila’s driveway. Gabriel had just watched her car disappear around the corner. He hadn’t asked where she and Sam would go, and they hadn’t told him, which was the way it had to be.
Lila had hugged Gabriel again and looked as if she was going to cry, but Sammy stayed quiet, standing back with a dark look in his eyes as if he knew this was the last scene of a tragic drama. Gabriel had wanted to apologize, but in the end he knew more words wouldn’t make any difference. There was no way to put things right, and in the end he just let them both go.
Turning to look at Amelia, he frowned. “Well, what now?” he repeated.
With longing, he thought of the pot roast Lila had removed from the oven and hastily divided into two portions, the larger of which was now in a foil-wrapped container behind them in the back seat. His stomach growled. Although there hadn’t been any fixings to go along with dinner besides half a loaf of bread and one unbroken bottle of wine—which Lila had insisted they take—Gabriel didn’t care. Any food would be good now, but he feared dinner was still going to have to wait awhile.
“We’ll need to go somewhere relatively secluded that can be well-defended, in case we’re interrupted.” Amelia’s chin tipped up. “I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to maintain the wards keeping us hidden from the others once the process begins, so we should be prepared—”
He pulled away from the curb more quickly than he should have, startling her into breaking off mid-sentence. “I haven’t agreed to this ridiculous idea of yours.” He looked over his shoulder to check his blind spot before glaring back at her. “And there’s no way I’m going to, so you can just forget it.”
She didn’t respond, but a dark frown crossed her face and her lips pressed into a tight slash. He assumed she wasn’t giving in so easily, but only rethinking her strategy for talking him into her suicide plan. Well, she could think all she wanted. It still wasn’t going to happen.
Gabriel fixed his eyes on the road, but all his other senses were completely attuned to the incomprehensible angel resting beside him. He hated the fact that he could no more control his body’s reaction to her nearness and her scent than he could control his own destiny.
He wanted her still. Wanted her more than ever.
After everything they’d been through tonight, he should be running as far away from Amelia the Avenger as he could. His brain told him he’d be a fool to trust her again, but his cock didn’t care about trust, and his heart sang of that impossible notion—love.
For fuck’s sake, the woman had gone from protecting him to planning to kill him off herself.
But she didn’t.
No, she hadn’t killed him. Instead, she’d volunteered her own soul in place of his.
Damn it. That only pissed him off all the more. Not only because she was effectively saying she didn’t think he was strong enough to get through this without her intervention, but because she seemed to believe her life was worth less than his.
He knew Amelia feared that Lucifer’s hold over him was growing, that it meant she’d failed to do her job, and after what he’d done tonight, he wondered the same thing.
What happened back there? Hurling fireballs? Where had that come from? What would be next?
What was he becoming?
He might not have all the answers, but it wasn’t hard to guess that neither of them had ever stood a chance. Gabriel had realized it the moment he met Michael. Whatever was happening to him had been fated to happen. The power came from inside of him. It had been inside all along. He could deny it all he wanted. Amelia could keep pretending she’d had a chance of stopping it, but both of them were fighting a losing battle.
His temper had been ticking away like a time bomb ever since Cassiel’s sneaky angel trick had altered the course of his future. Amelia’s little compromise with Michael back there had only made it worse. His hands tightened over the steering wheel. At least part of her ludicrous idea had merit—they should find someplace private for the knock-down drag-out confrontation that had been building between them since all this started.
He knew of a cottage resort a few hours away that offered secluded rentals on the lake. It had been a great place to hole up when he wanted to avoid the press. The owner was a sweet middle-aged lady who always respected his requests for privacy, and he’d stayed there a few times. This time of year, the tourist season was pretty much over with and the lake should be just about deserted.
Standing on the narrow, covered plank-board porch of the little cottage Gabriel had taken them to, Amelia tried to see into the dense thicket of trees ahead of her. Since leaving the angel realms, she’d been to the bright city of San Francisco and along the length of a highway to the suburbs of Chicago, but this was the first time she’d actually felt as if she were…home.
Of course, it was nothing like her home. In actual fact, Amelia had never even considered the concept of home, but she felt at peace here and that was probably what home was supposed to be—a place where you felt safe.
The night was quiet, but a crisp wind rustled the leaves. Beckoning, it pulled at the loose strands of her hair to tease and tempt her into letting the breeze lift her away, while the lake’s glassy finish glowed from the light of the moon, promising serenity and rest. She took the clean air deep into her lungs, enjoying the musty scent of autumn’s fallen leaves combined with that of the rich earth and a hint of coming rain.
Across the laneway, Gabriel exited the main house where he’d gone to check in and get the key for the cottage. His fiery gaze immediately found her, fixed on her. In the dark, his eyes practically glowed.
What did it say about her that she was able to so easily decipher the feral look in his eyes as untamed, raw carnality and determined purpose?
What kind of angel did it make her that she was excited by it?
A shiver tripped the length of her spine as his steps ate up the distance between them. She stood very still, watching him coming for her.
He stopped at the bottom of the few wooden steps leading up to the porch and she reached for the deck railing, curling her fingers so tightly over it she’d probably end up with splinters.
Her heart beat in time with the loud thud of Gabriel’s boots up the narrow steps. She was captivated by his virility and strength. He towered above her, placing his warm hand on her cool one and gazing into her face. His firm chin cut with angry determination while his eyes glowed with something else. Something hotter. Wilder.
He was so close. She eased even closer, and everything beyond those eyes and his touch was obliterated. The only thing left was how he made her feel.
Hours spent in silent torment in the car had played havoc with her good intentions. She had expected to argue with Gabriel late into the night, trying to make him see that what she’d proposed to Michael was necessary. But he’d refused to speak to her about Lucifer—or anything else—and she’d been left with nothing to do but examine the lean lines of his tense body beside her, the firm grip of his fingers on the steering wheel, the shape of his
hard mouth that had felt so gentle and decadent pressed against her own.
Amelia ached. She needed.
They had bought themselves some time by coming here, although not a lot of it. Donato and his goons would be back, probably fresh from the angel realms where they would have submitted to angel song and been healed. It wouldn’t be enough to cleanse them of their dark emotions, but they’d be strong. Too strong for her to fight?
She should use the time to prepare, but the thought of arguing with Gabriel now brought tears to her eyes. There would be time enough for pain and anger as the sun rose. For now the night ruled, and the night was for lovers.
Tilting her face up to meet his kiss, she gloried in the first touch of his lips and took his groaned “Amelia” into her mouth.
No preliminaries. As she’d come to expect, Gabriel boldly took, daring her to match his intensity stroke for stroke. And she did.
His hand tightened over hers on the wooden railing. He brought the other to cup the back of her neck as he slipped his tongue into her mouth, stabbing deep. She reciprocated, tasting the bitterness of the coffee he’d drunk on the road. She fed on him, tongue sliding, teeth nipping. Gently at first, but harder when he angled closer.
His thumb drew up to just under her ear and then along her jaw line. Tipping her chin higher, he trailed a slow, wet path to the pulse hammering away in her throat. Her soft moan echoed between them.
“I want you,” he murmured against her pulse. Her skin tingled where the thick stubble of his cheek scratched the bare, tender places on her neck. “I know I shouldn’t. I know you’re trouble for me, and I’m a hell of a lot of trouble for you. But it doesn’t matter. I’ve never been very good at doing the right thing.”
“Please, Gabriel.” Amelia should make him stop so they could talk, but apparently she wasn’t very good at doing the right thing either because she had no intention of stopping him right now.
Raising her hands and clutching his shoulders, she fought to drag his lips back to hers. He laughed, torturing her with denial, but that was cut short when she grasped his shirt in her fist and yanked him to her roughly.
Amelia claimed Gabriel for her own. She was determined that if this was torture, if she was going to suffer for her sins, then so would he. Kissing, sucking, biting. Slick, wet and hot until he took a deep breath and swore, his arm wrapping tightly around her, hand splayed over her spine.
They would claim each other.
He kissed her. She kissed him. Each demanding of the other nothing less than total surrender, complete acceptance. A clash of strengths, clash of wills. They battled with touch and taste, lips and teeth.
“We should go inside,” Gabriel murmured, mouth poised at the corner of her mouth. His fists dropped to her waist, holding her.
Shaking her head, Amelia slid her hands inside the open edges of Gabriel’s jacket and his snug-fitting cotton shirt, eager to feel the smooth, hard muscles of his torso and chest beneath her fingers.
“No. I like it here.” She wanted to breathe in the night air mingled with Gabriel’s clean scent. Wanted to be embraced amid the innocence and immediacy of the life that surrounded them. She wanted to be a part of this world instead of an onlooker.
“The owner of the resort is probably peering through her front window at us even now.”
“Let her,” Amelia answered, digging her nails into his sides as she pulled him closer, balancing on her toes to reach the tempting curve of his collarbone with her teeth. She soothed the spot with her tongue when he hissed.
“It’s late and it’s dark,” she whispered. “We haven’t turned on any of the lights. Even if we had, the human woman wouldn’t be able to see anything out here but an empty porch, maybe a little hint of shadow, but only with extraordinary eyesight and only if she knew exactly what she was looking for.”
Gabriel lifted an amused brow in that way she had come to completely adore. “More force fields?”
She tilted her head back to look into his eyes and smiled. “Let’s just say the wings aren’t the only thing I can hide from prying human eyes when I need to.”
“Hmm. Have I mentioned that’s one of your tricks I actually like? That and those damned glorious angel wings of yours.” Gabriel’s mouth descended again even as he started walking, forcing her back the few short steps until her shoulder blades hit the cottage wall.
The window beside her head trembled lightly in its frame. Gabriel’s palm slapped flat against the wall on the other side of her. Amelia barely noticed. His hard kiss infused her with heat even as the night’s chill breeze brushed the skin of her neck.
He lowered the loose collar of her thin sweater over her shoulder and slid his hand into the soft white lace cup of her bra. He lifted her breast free, making her gasp against the cold and then groan as he flicked her quickly pebbling nipple with his thumbnail.
Gabriel leaned back slightly to look at her. “God, you’re amazing.” It seemed he was fascinated watching his own fingers pull and pinch, his hand cupping and kneading her breast. “I hope you’re right about that invisibility thing, angel face, because even without the porch light shining above us, it would be impossible for anyone not to see you right about now.”
He was right. The bright white of her aura was coming through, making her skin glow. Alarmed, Amelia mentally pulled back, double-checking her wards and the status of her power. Everything was in place, holding strong. Still, Gabriel had given her a reminder she wasn’t going to forget. It was important to remain in control so she wouldn’t fail him again.
“It’s okay,” she murmured, not wanting him to worry. She worked on dampening the glow, but Gabriel tipped her face to his. His expression had turned serious but not angry.
“Leave it, angel face. I like it.” His thumb made a slow circle on her cheek. Amelia’s heart tripped. “And I know you’ve got the protection thing covered. I trust you.”
Wrong. Wrong thing to say.
She closed her eyes, shaking off the sudden need to tell him what she had planned.
She couldn’t. He would fight her, and it would only end up hurting them both. He’d find out soon enough how poorly placed his trust was.
But God willing, by then it wouldn’t matter anymore.
Chapter Eighteen
Trust.
Love. Happiness.
How long had it been since those words had meant anything to him? How long since those things had been a part of his life?
So long he wasn’t sure he would know how to recognize them.
Could he honestly have any of them? Could he have them with Amelia? Or was he just a glutton for punishment, setting himself up for a world of hurt?
Even as he took her mouth hungrily, desperately, her smooth breast a luscious, soft weight in his palm, Gabriel couldn’t believe in the happy ever after. Whether or not they survived this shitty, impossible situation, the thing that had sprung up between them was unreliable. He could already feel it rolling to a sharp and painful end.
And like it or not, when that pain came, at least he would recognize it, would know how to deal with it. Maybe he would even welcome it. Pain, after all, was a familiar companion. It was happiness he didn’t trust, maybe because he’d never truly experienced it. Satisfaction and contentment, yes. But real happiness? He wondered if it even existed.
His kiss turned harder, his desperation thicker. Amelia twisted in his arms, her hands sliding higher under his shirt, over his abs. Her touch was so perfect, so right, but he was used to everything turning wrong with the flip of a coin.
Instinctively, he held back a small sliver of his need. Even in the midst of the seductive storm quickly closing in on them, he couldn’t afford to lose himself completely to the temptation Amelia presented, the hope she’d awakened.
Uncertainty was a sharp ache in his chest, desire a heavy, pounding demand in his pants. Gabriel responded to it, pressing closer, into the welcoming cradle of her hips. She groaned, tilting her head back against the cottage wall
. Taking advantage, he feasted on the slim column of her neck and the gentle curve of her collarbone, at the same time pushing the sweater and bra strap off her other shoulder so her beautiful, glowing skin was bared to him from the waist up.
She tugged off his shirt, touching him everywhere, her hands roaming, exploring his body until she arched closer, digging her nails into the muscles of his back.
“Gabriel.” Her voice was a demand. Where before the cool, crisp, all-business tone had infuriated him, at some point he’d come to like it. Now he knew what depths lay beneath the surface of Amelia’s calm. He’d seen the passion she tried to hide from everyone and even deny to herself. The sound of her level voice made him feel like he was in on a delicious secret.
Amelia had been part of his life for such a short time, but Gabriel had come to know his angel well, better even than she probably knew herself. She might have spent thousands of years without emotion, but those days were gone—he hoped for good. And while she might be able to hide her new emotions from almost everyone, he didn’t think she realized just how much she gave away.
He had her all figured out. He knew what to look for, the subtle physical tells. Things others would miss because they would fail to search beyond the cool command of her voice. Things like her measured pacing and the line that deepened in her brow when she was worried, the tightening of her jaw when she held back during an argument, or the way those blue eyes darkened to cobalt with her passion.
All things he brought out in her. He was the only one who got past Amelia’s barriers, and he found that a serious turn-on. Nothing beat the intoxicating thrill of knowing he was the only one who turned her control inside out, that only he would hear Amelia’s husky soprano overflowing with all the fire and hunger in her soul.
He loved that she couldn’t hide that from him. Not anymore. He would always be able to see beyond her defenses to what she was really feeling.
And right now there was a lot of fear and doubt tightly laced with her desire and need.
